So FLOTUS and POTUS Are Just Gonna Steal My Heart on the Cover of ESSENCE. Ok.
Listen here. I’m already in my feelings about a variety of things. And then ESSENCE Magazine came and dropped their latest cover, featuring President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama. Now I don’t know how to act because the 21st Century Love Jones couple got me all verklempt from their beauty.
Behold. Malia and Sasha’s parents. Michelle LaVaughn and Barack Hussein. Looking like excellence and the reason for terrible artwork you see at the dollar store. Or on an “arabesque” novel.” Out here looking like the ONLY time I’d say “relationship goals.”
I wanna write a sappy poem about them. The type of poem where I will have to wear a black turtleneck and beat on bongos. And make every single sentence rhyme and when I can’t find a word to rhyme with a previous sentence, I just repeat it slowly. And people would snap their fingers to agree. I’d sway behind a lit candle and Periscope all of it. And I’d sell kente oil afterwards to the crowd: because come up.
LAWD this picture, yo. COME ON, BEAUTIFUL BLACK. Just… comme des fackons, FLOTUS and POTUS. Her hair is laid (by the hands of the gifted Johnny Wright) and his lining is crisp. His barber never disappoints. You ain’t gon catch Barack outchea with anything but a glorious cut.
They are just a really nice looking couple. ESSENCE wasn’t lying with this “Grace & Power.” I just love them.
Do you understand how much my heart is gonna hurt when they leave that White House? Do you realize that I might take to my bed for a week of mourning when they make their exit? When is the next time we’re gonna see a First Family like this? Do we really get how what we’re seeing may not happen again for whoknowshowlong?
This cover got me all reflective and missing them even though they’re still here.
Besides that. Please forgive me for how I’m about to objectify our First Lady but…
CHISOS KRISTI ON THAT CROSS. FLOTUS did not come here to play with you. Chei. See ikebe. See yansh of life. See the reason why I need to pass out doing squats. I’m not even worthy and you aren’t either. When she said “When they go low, we go high” now I see what she REALLY means. That thing there is SITTING high.
People have been asking where she’s been hiding all of that. She hasn’t. We just haven’t paid attention. OUR BAD. We were slipping.
It’s just not fair to be this amazing as a person and then be this beautiful and then have your body look like the sculpture of perfection. MICHELLE. Can you leave some things for the rest of us? I mean. She’s so petty in her perfection.
Again, sorry but I had to have a moment.
*deep sigh* I love them so much.
I’m just waiting for this issue to arrive in my mailbox so I can cherish it forever. I keep stacking up saved issues of ESSENCE, because they’ve been KILLING every cover lately. I’ma become a hoarder messing with them.
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