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I Got Questions about the 2017 GRAMMYs: Recap

Yesterday was the biggest night in music: the GRAMMY Awards. The one thing we can count on is a rollercoaster of thrills and disappointments. And many performances that make me take the time to go to the kitchen to re-up on snacks. It was hosted by James Corden of car karaoke fame.

Anywho, I have questions.

* Why has John Travolta gotten so much plastic surgery that he now resembles Mulan? CHISOS. He got on that stage and shocked the hell outta me. He shoulda quit about 5 surgeries ago. I’ve been thinking about it, doe. Did Scientology steal John Travolta’s youth and original face? #LeahReminiTaughtMe

* Did Reba McEntire know that Nick Jonas showed up in one of her jackets? Was she pleased?

* How dudebro can the boys of Twenty One Pilots get? They came out their pants when they won their GRAMMY for *I didn’t care enough to look up the award* and then one of them was rocking Tweety Bird’s fur on his head. And I just know they still go to keggers every weekend.

Twenty One Pilots GRAMMYs

Bhet why.

* Why does Ed Sheeran always look like he just got out the dryer’s spin cycle? He’s adorable.

* Does Ryan Seacrest have more titles than a car dealership? He was announced as being on the Board of the GRAMMYS and all I could think of was how impeccable his grind is. Just unfuckwitable.

* Did Beyoncé not steal your heart?? My goodness. That performance. Yes, the intro ran so long that I wondered if she’d have the twins by the time she got started. But seeing her on that stage, giving Oshun fever and Vishnu tease with angel vibes gave me what I needed. Beyonce was like “you heaux said I wasn’t really pregnant last time. GET INTO MY MATERNAL GLOW.” It was truly the most beautiful she has ever looked. Red Petunia and Purple Hibiscus got her looking like a Goddess.

I MEAN. CAN I LIVE?!?

Lemme pause here to make a quick PSA. I DON’T WANNA SEE ANY THINKPIECES FROM WHITE FOLKS CRITIQUING BEYONCE’S GRAMMYS PERFORMANCE. We don’t wanna hear it, read it, see it. This is the time to use that “shutting the hell up is free” coupon code. It never expires. Shut it up. Her performance was not really giving a fuck about the white gaze, and the entire LEMONADE album didn’t either.

White people gotta get comfortable with the fact that everything ain’t for them, Some things will even exclude them COMPLETELY. That is fine. Deal. And imagine if 90% of the shit that is supposed to represent POPULAR culture excludes you. see: the lives of people of color, LGBTQ people etc. So yeah.

* How much running man will my ovaries do at the sight of Blue Ivy? First of all, her parents decided to dress her as Prince, in this pink tuxedo with ruffled shirt.

And then the adorable little somebody showed up holding an empty purse she was so into all night. She spent those hours playing with her friend, and making the camera melt from the cutes. She was basically the star of the night and they gave her ALL the camera time and I loved it.

* Why did James Corden make all those celebs try to sing Sweet Caroline? None of them knew the song and Jason Derulo looked like he wanted the ground to up and swallow him whole.

* What decade does Bruno Mars live in, and can I follow him back there? It seems fun.

* Why doesn’t Katy Perry curl all the way over for me? I don’t have anything bad to say about her but I’ve never cared about her music. Kudos to her for the RESIST arm cuff, though. And for ending her performance with the Constitution behind her.

* Is Adele the only person who would start a performance back up after she didn’t like the beginning? During her George Michael tribute, Adele surely was like “Nah” and started over. Meanwhile, I’m the church mother in the back who knows Jesus ain’t done with you yet so I encourage you with that one good “TAKE YO TIME.”

* Does Chance the Rapper dress like the 3rd Mario brother on purpose? Mario, Luigi and Chance. He is just so cute, though.

Twice the adorableness.

* Who is Lady Gaga this week?

* Why did A Tribe Call Quest rock the stage so hard? They woke everybody up, and I was so here for them.

* Was Busta Rhymes dressed for the Hunger Games? Will he volunteer for tribute? And how many high fives did I want to give him for getting on stage and pointing out President Agent Orange? Did he read my Guide to Disrespecting Cheetolini?

* Did the GRAMMYS realize how dope BET’s Prince tribute was, so they didn’t make a huge effort to top it? Don’t get me wrong. The Time and Bruno Mars did good but Sheila E and Janelle Monae shoulda been on that stage too. It was cool, doe.

* Why was I at home rocking back and forth during Chance’s performance? I ain’t go to church yesterday so I really enjoyed that praise and worship time. Then you add in Tamela Mann’s anointed voice, Kirk Franklin’s holy ghost stomp and the mass choir and it was the proper turn up for Jesus.

Honestly, what I love the most about Chance is that his joy is infectious. From his performances to his wins. He is having a ball, and for an indie artist to be standing on that GRAMMY stage, having won multiple awards, include “Best New Artist?” I am so proud of the dude and so proud he’s a hometown hero. CHITOWN STAND UP!

Chance the Rapper GRAMMYs

* Why am I salty that they didn’t give us a GOOD CHANCE to enjoy Cynthia Erivo’s voice? Her duet with John Legend for the “In Memoriam” was too short. LAwd knows that voice is a gift from the Most High.

And now…

* Why is there anything but love being shared about the moment Adele and Beyoncé had? When the Album of the Year was announced, and it wasn’t LEMONADE, there was a collective disappointment, because people felt moved in ways unseen before by that visual album. However, I couldn’t be too mad at Adele’s 25 for winning, though, cuz I loved that album too.

Adele then got on stage and gave the most gracious speech I’ve ever heard at the GRAMMYs, and in it, she basically said that the award belonged to Bey.

“I can’t possibly accept this award. And I’m very humbled and I’m very grateful and gracious. But my artist of my life is Beyoncé. And this album to me, the “Lemonade” album, is just so monumental. Beyoncé, it’s so monumental. And so well thought out, and so beautiful and soul-baring and we all got to see another side to you that you don’t always let us see. And we appreciate that. And all us artists here adore you. You are our light.

And the way that you make me and my friends feel, the way you make my Black friends feel, is empowering. And you make them stand up for themselves. And I love you. I always have and I always will.”

People are currently pissed at the line about how the album made her Black friends feel, and I am blown at that backlash. It makes no sense to me. I don’t find anything wrong with Adele calling out what LEMONADE meant to her Black friends. Bey made that for US and she knows that. LEMONADE was a love letter to Black women and that white woman recognizes it and can acknowledge that it had layers of meaning for those in her life who look like Bey. How much love could one woman show the other?? The only thing Adele didn’t do was walk off the stage and hand the award to Beyoncé. And funny enough, when she went backstage, she broke a piece of her GRAMMY so she could hand it to Beyoncé.

WHAT MORE DO PEOPLE WANT?

My REAL question is:

* When are we gonna get a Beyonce-Adele duet? Is Diane Warren busy? Can she whip up one of her epic ballads for the ages for these two so I can cry in advance? K thanks.

Anywho, I’m tired. GRAMMYs was cool. People need a nap.

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35 Comments

  1. Natasha
    February 13, 2017 at 10:35 am

    I am satisfied with this piece. You are a very thoughtful person.

    (Do I sound enough like a bot?) I’m also very happy that my love Bruno is getting so much love. So. Very. Happy.

  2. Angela Henderson
    February 13, 2017 at 10:35 am

    I love how global and heartfelt your writing is…At All Times! In these moments of “I’m scared to speak up for fear of losing sponsors” your bravery is honorable. And I also love your Bey interpretation. I saw so many Black and Hispanic women on my timeline saying Who does she think she is?!! I can ignore the jealousy that people feel to see her Forever Winning but I appreciate even more a Lady who can break it down for the Minions.

  3. MissTish
    February 13, 2017 at 10:54 am

    I’m not a member of the Beehive (I was done after “Sasha Fierce”) but I do appreciate the need of artists to grow/branch out. I also appreciate her social consciousness, even when the songs don’t move me. Shout out to that pregnancy glow, however! And my husband-in-my head Bruno made the Grammys worth watching (even though the Prince tribute was ridiculously short). Especially short compared to the Saturday Night Fever tribute. Lastly, were the mics faulty all night long, or was it me?

  4. Courtney Nicole
    February 13, 2017 at 11:02 am

    I love it. I didn’t watch, but this is all I needed to read. Adele acknowledging that love letter to women of color is something I wish all non- women of color would acknowledge. Adele is British so she has a different lens to see us and how we are treated/viewed in this country. I’m so glad she called it and saw what the purpose of Bey’s artistry in that album. So many people downing her, calling her a false idol, God complex, etc., they missed the whole damn point. The love story is a testimony with powerful imagery of the strength embedded in our bones, in our roots! Yes, so much yes! The rest of the Grammy’s just sounds like every other year, but Chance, the Tribe and Bey….it’s us. Putting it ON THEM.

  5. Nichole
    February 13, 2017 at 11:05 am

    John Travolta lives the movie Face Off

    Beyonce gives folks just a taste of her concerts. Just a taste. She gives folks a stage performance in everything she does. I give her props for being who she is and doing it her way.

    Blue Ivy and the Carpool Karaoke. She ran over, said hello and looked at James Corden as if to ask “Why wasn’t I part of this skit? Do you know who I am?”

    I believe Bruno Mars is a time-traveler.

    I mostly know Chance the Rapper from that Kit Kat commercial but anyone who gives God and Jesus multiple shout out in one acceptance speech is ok with me. Plus, his performance? Folks in the Staples Center needed some church time and the gave it. Yes, I am a fan now.

    I’m ok with the Prince tribute. I realize the Grammy’s had a number of people to tribute from 2016, unfortunately. But I’m gonna need someone to put together a true tribute to him. Maybe an hour or 90 minute special that includes more songs than Let’s Go Crazy and Purple Rain. I need a tribute that has folks who can do him justice singing Diamonds and Pearls, I Wanna Be Your Lover, Thieves in the Temple and Batdance. Yes, Batdance! I said it!

    Adele is as real as anyone can get and I love that about her. Plus, she’s got pipes. Because she’s real like that, I got what she was saying and how she shared her appreciation for Beyonce. I’m not mad at her. What she didn’t do in the comment about her black friends is make it about her. She said she understood and loved Bey for doing that for them. She didn’t include herself. She recognized that everything ain’t for everybody, like so many folks have an issue with. Jay and Adele’s husband can watch the kids while they create some masterpiece. I am for that.

    • February 15, 2017 at 8:21 am

      Lmao @ John Travolta lives the movie Face Off.
      No truer words than this!

  6. Julia
    February 13, 2017 at 11:12 am

    I watched Beyonce’s performance and didn’t understand all the references, so I researched it and it gave a whole other level of meaning to it that I didn’t get the first time.

    A Beyonce/Adele duet might make my brain explode from happiness.

  7. Lee
    February 13, 2017 at 11:23 am

    I am so glad that you brought this up Luvvie. As someone who is so “woke” that I need ambien to sleep at night, folks are really doing the most with taking offense at Adele saying “black friends”. She got on a public stage and acknowledged that Lemonade was political, an act of resistance, and as you said, a love letter to black women. People are reaching

  8. NaToya
    February 13, 2017 at 11:46 am

    My only question is, had Adele already gotten her Blaxit card? If not, I’d like to nominate her.

    • Andrea Plaid
      February 13, 2017 at 6:22 pm

      No Blaxit card, but she and Chris Evans from Captain America can bring a plate to the pre-Blaxit BBQ.

  9. Karen
    February 13, 2017 at 11:55 am

    I didnt watch all of it, but I caught Bey. Usually she’s just ok, but last night she was giving it all to me! I loved everything about that performance and Blue Ivy was the cutest ever. Adele was so humble and I think she truly knew Lemonade deserved that win. It was her way to share her appreciation for B and how much B’s music means to her. I think people know A was truly sincere and certainly B did. I was happy that David Bowie won several awards posthumously as well.

  10. February 13, 2017 at 12:26 pm

    I kept saying ‘who does Chance remind me of’. All I could come up with was a milkman. But you nailed it! SUPER MARIO BROTHA!!!!

  11. Sylvie
    February 13, 2017 at 12:43 pm

    Diane Warren would write something awesome for the two of them!

  12. Andrea
    February 13, 2017 at 12:53 pm

    HOW can people be mad about Adele’s speech?! Lie BHET WHY YOU SO ANGRY!? She loves Bey and you can see Bey loves her right back. Lemonade was deeply stirring and transcendent for Bey as an ARTIST and as WOMAN. And I liked Bey’s performance – I do think it was a bit much – but WTF do I know?! NOT SHIT. Doing her thing with Nefertiti and the goddesses. Man… everyone needs to have themselves some seats and a Coke.

  13. Cleojonz
    February 13, 2017 at 1:08 pm

    I’m very confused by the people who were mad that Adele specifically shouted out her black friends. Hello every think piece that a black person wrote on Lemonade said that it was for us! Why would she not acknowledge that she gets it was for us, but it still moved her.

    On the Beyonce’/Adele duet I believe Adele said she was down a LONG time ago and we know she could write it. The hold up there is Queen Bey.

    • SororSalsa
      February 13, 2017 at 1:53 pm

      I think where people are getting tripped up is probably the interpretation that it’s ONLY for her black friends. It was in the moment and I expect no one to be erudite after they’ve won an award. Maybe she could’ve phrased it a little better but I got what she was saying.

  14. Nina
    February 13, 2017 at 1:17 pm

    “White people gotta get comfortable with the fact that everything ain’t for them, Some things will even exclude them COMPLETELY. That is fine. Deal. And imagine if 90% of the shit that is supposed to represent POPULAR culture excludes you. see: the lives of people of color, LGBTQ people etc. So yeah.”

    I love you and ALL your ancestors for this right here. You spoke your speech and my soul. Amen.

  15. February 13, 2017 at 2:37 pm

    1. When the #! $@ do you find time to still do recaps???
    B. This was an excellent recap.
    iii. If a duet happens, boyfriends will becone husbands, and everybody is makin’ babies.

    • February 13, 2017 at 2:40 pm

      *become

  16. Londa
    February 13, 2017 at 3:34 pm

    Adele’s love toward Beyoncé was the epitome of sisterly love. Absolutely NOTHING Adele said should have caused Black or White people to loose their darn minds and scream foul-on-the-play!

    That’s why we can’t have nice things. Some of us (not all) accuse others of moving the line/changing the rules of the game so we can’t win. And then, some of us turn around and do the same darn thing. Petty!

    Adele for the win! A Beyoncé and Adele duet would make me need to start wearing Depends because I wouldn’t be able to contain myself. I am so here for them to team up.

    Dear Lord, let them drop a visual album together for my Birthday in November. I’d say that would be all I’d want…but you know I’d be lying. Please…and Thank You.

  17. February 13, 2017 at 4:25 pm

    I missed the Grammys last night, and you’re making me really sad that I did. :,(
    http://www.wonderlandsam.com

  18. Mierjo
    February 13, 2017 at 5:53 pm

    And….why is it your opinion matter?

    • notconvincedgranny
      February 13, 2017 at 6:06 pm

      Whose blog is this? Oh, yeah – hers will be the opinion that carries THIS damn day, all day. Go get wit ya boy Rush if you have a problem with it.

    • YvMarie
      February 14, 2017 at 2:11 am

      This is HER BLOG! Why are you on Luvvie’s blog and don’t understand that this is her opinion?

  19. notconvincedgranny
    February 13, 2017 at 6:38 pm

    So, we gonna just let those capri leggings, georgette high/low tunic top and ringmaster jacket Sir Kirk of Stomp Franklin was wearing just go by???

    • CeeJay
      February 13, 2017 at 7:39 pm

      Thank you! I think he’s getting a pass on because of the whole holy goon thing but no. Were those leather jeggings?

  20. Mary Burrell
    February 13, 2017 at 10:30 pm

    I didn’t watch the Grammys but that was sweet of Adele. I am an Adele fan and i am happy for her success.

  21. Deanna
    February 13, 2017 at 10:37 pm

    Adele turned down Beyoncé’s request for a collaboration. So don’t hold your breath.

    • pam
      February 14, 2017 at 11:45 pm

      Adele Clears Up That Beyoncé Duet Rumor – Vanity Fair, Novmber, 2015

      “There is a rumor going around that I turned Beyoncé down,” Adele told Zane Lowe, in an hour-long interview that will air Wednesday.

      “Just to clear up, I would never be so disrespectful,” Adele told Zane. “I would never disrespect her like that. I’m such a fan, oh my God!” “Obviously, Queen Bey to the day I die.”

  22. February 14, 2017 at 10:19 am

    I am proud of Chance the Rapper. It’s great seeing this guy from my city do great things.

    And girl, you silly. I love your comment about Bruno Mars. One of his backup singers was dressed like a RUN DMC reject. And he did an amazing Prince tribute.

    I’m with you on Adele. She said, “Let me start over,” and did the thang!

  23. February 14, 2017 at 11:29 am

    Right on point as usual!!!

  24. February 14, 2017 at 12:52 pm

    Who are these people getting offended by Adele?

    Was I the only one who held their breath when Beyonce did the chair lean back?

  25. February 15, 2017 at 8:18 am

    OMG! I thought it was just me! John Travolta’s face gives me pause everytime. I was watching American Crime Story: The People v. OJ Simpson, and I just couldn’t get over the ridiculousness that was his face. It hardly moves and he can’t even smile. Don’t get me started on his eyebrows. Smh. Beht why?!

    People getting offended by Adele need to chill though, and Bruno Mars is bae, any day any time.

  26. Michael J.
    February 21, 2017 at 5:17 pm

    They said that there will be a Bey and Adele duet
    🙌🙌