Politics

Ben Carson is to Smart as Slavery is to Immigration

One day. I just want ONE DAMB DAY where the crew of craprags in the Trump Administration don’t say or do something that is imbecilic. ONE DAY IS NOT TOO MUCH TO ASK WHERE WE DON’T NEED TO DRAG THEM FROM HERE TO KINGDOM COME. Today is Ben Carson’s turn to have his eyebrows used as a tail as we sweep the floor with him. I’m on the go, though, so I’ma make this quick.

Ben Carson aka Uncle Ruckus aka The Reason for Disappointed Parents was talking to employees of the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD), which he is now secretary of. This dopey niglet fixed his yuckmouth to say:

“There were other immigrants who came in the bottom of slave ships, who worked even longer, even harder, for less…”

Immigrants. Who came. In the bottom. Of fucking slave ships.

headdesk gif

Sweet Alabaster 5 lb 7 oz baby Jesus in that manger, his virginal mama Mary and his stepdaddy Joey. I call on all of them to hold my mule and be a fence because what I’m not able to do is this.

How did a brain surgeon become so brainless? How did this man lose all touch with fact, logic and reasoning? How did this nonentity and classless wonder think being stolen from your home, bound and gagged and stuffed in slave ships make someone an “immigrant?” As if KLM or Lufthansa managed the enslaved Africans, checked their passports and visas before they boarded and ensured their safe arrival to a new world?

IMMIGRANTS HAVE A CHOICE. You don’t immigrate somewhere in chains: that makes you a prisoner. Call a spade a spade. Say it with your whole face. “SLAVES.” Maybe it makes Ben feel better, saying “immigrants” so the spirits of ancestors who were enslaved won’t come and haunt his coon ass at night as he bows at the feet of a man who would own slaves TODAY if allowed. Maybe this is what Ben says to appease the soul of Harriet Tubman, who probably doesn’t let him sleep at night as she hums “Rolling in the Deep” in his ears. Maybe this is how he can look at himself in the mirror, even as his melanin melts in front of his eyes. From betrayal.

Ben Carson Stupid

Ben is stupid AF.

This shucking and jiving ass no pride having ass waste of melanin ass jive turkey. Ben Carson is the reason that Zora Neale Hurston warned us about how “not all skinfolk are kinfolk.” As we plan the BLAXIT, this man’s name has a big red circle over it. And no, we aren’t trading him in the racial draft. We’re just gonna cuntpunt him into some trash can, where the undesirables go (the Land of Abandoned People). We don’t need to trade him for a damb thing. He’s just rejected.

But if we HAVE to trade him, I’d like to trade him for a penny with a hole in it. Or the gum under my shoe. Or a dirty diaper.

Who is his barber?!? This is a hit job.

GOSH I HATE THIS MAN AND HIS ILK. I hate him from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet. I hate his cowardice. I hate his self-hate. I hate his couch. I hate his lack of shame for being so stupid. I hate his socks. I hate what he is: a Black man who is so dehydrated for white acceptance that he practices perpetual Black betrayal in order to get what he never will.

Ben Carson can stay in the sunken place, and bury himself in the humiliation that will inevitably come from his role in this administration. Him and that terrible lining and those ill-fitting suits of his. This is why he does not deserve nice things.

Let me allow Samuel L. Jackson (aka the Blackest man ever) to end this.

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52 Comments

  1. March 6, 2017 at 10:40 pm — Reply

    Editors in the brain surgery dept. of a major university said this about their authors’ abilities: “It’s not rocket science.”

  2. March 6, 2017 at 10:50 pm — Reply

    Bafoonery! I take it that murder victims are ‘volunteers for heaven’ and rape victims are just women who are in training for ‘a happy married life’! Soooo slavery is not the act of SAVAGE KIDNAPPING by a hole beasts? I’m sure these slave immigrants prayed every day for deportation but with no such luck! The last time i checked, every immigrant that ever settled in a particular place went VOLUNTARILY! ANYTHING ELSE IS CALLED FORCED KIDNAPPING. DUMB ACE!

  3. Linda
    March 6, 2017 at 10:53 pm — Reply

    Lol I love you..hold my mule and fences..lol this damn foolishness is crazy..I think he did a lobotomy on himself…lol I’m with Samuel…

  4. March 6, 2017 at 10:53 pm — Reply

    Luvvie….while we’re doing ‘trading’ for this butt whip, I’ll raise you a dirty diaper for a bottle of diarrhea poo, hot and steamie and a gallon of 200 year old donky piss

    • Pepper Potts
      March 17, 2017 at 2:12 pm — Reply

      LMAO OMGEEE

  5. […] the Awesomely Luvvie FB page | The post Ben Carson is to Smart as Slavery is to Immigration appeared first on Awesomely Luvvie. Duplicating this content in entirety is expressly […]

  6. celestial
    March 6, 2017 at 11:02 pm — Reply

    He needs to get hit with a camera flash

    • Natalie
      March 7, 2017 at 11:37 am — Reply

      Yes to this.

      I was waiting for a Get Out reference. Best Fucking Movie!

  7. NUTTSHELL
    March 6, 2017 at 11:03 pm — Reply

    Uncle Ben, like most black conservatives, is ashamed of his negritude. They’re always apologizing or complaining about black “culture”. They see us a deviant pathology that must be fixed. They’re so eager to show white people that they’re “acceptable” Negroes. They want their approval and stay quiet whenever racist shit happens because they’re so ashamed of being black that they think we deserve whatever bullshit racism that happens. It’s why white folks loved him when he ran. He never saw or experienced any racism. It was always black people’s fault. He apologizes for slavery because he is too ignorant about African history and culture. He has been conditioned to believe that Africans were ignorant, unlearned and pagans like in the Tarzan movies. He doesn’t believe anything good ever happened until we were kidnapped and enslaved. He is on record being thankful for slavery because it was the only way we would know God & Jesus. His ignorance is breathtaking and this uppity Black woman doesn’t have time for his bullshit. For every person entranced by his BS, that’s another person I have to “educate” so I can sit at the damb table.

  8. Daniel Ben-Zvi
    March 6, 2017 at 11:14 pm — Reply

    I actually just had someone argue to me on Twitter that coming to this country “on the bottom of slave ships” doesn’t make you a slave. Unsurprisingly, his dumb white ass voted for Trump.

    Then again, it’s not just the dumb *white* folks defending Carson here. Do a twitter search for “Hotep Jesus” if you’re capable of enduring some serious stupid.

    • Lorna
      March 7, 2017 at 12:41 pm — Reply

      I saw that hotep jesus crap this morning and it made me so sad. Seriously, I cannot even joke about any of this. It is too much, It. Is. Too. Much!!!!!
      it’s too much.
      I am tired of seeing the latest thing from #KimJongOrange and The Too Wack Crew and then screaming out “God help us!” How is any of this mess happening?! HOW, SWAY!!!???

      It’s too much. Our ancestors were massacred for what? Their blood cries out from the very oceans we were brought across after being kidnapped and they are saying, “Ben, STFU!!” (I’m paraphrasing).

      If you haven’t yet been to the Museum of African American History & Culture in DC, you must make it a point to do so. Spend even 15 minutes on that bottom floor, looking at the names of slave ships that have two numbers next to each “the number that got on/the number that made it to America” and you’ll never be the same. One ship had 400+ kidnapped slaves on it and only 1, ONE, made it here.

      I’m bout to catch a case if I see Ben Carson. This [expletive] is Too Much!!

  9. boo
    March 6, 2017 at 11:15 pm — Reply

    Now I can go to sleep with a smile. Painfully Carson is both gifted and off balance. Unable to can.

  10. Lincoln
    March 6, 2017 at 11:33 pm — Reply

    I just have to ask…what are folks doing with all their copies of “Gifted Hands” these days?

    • DCFem
      March 7, 2017 at 7:41 am — Reply

      Kindling.

    • March 7, 2017 at 6:50 pm — Reply

      In solidarity with my skinfolk in the US, I tossed that ish along with Think Big into the garbage back when he was running for office. And one of those books was a library copy that I had failed to return (not deliberately) way back in high school. I can’t believe I used to admire this man. Is he ill? Can Anonymous or some other entity do some digging to see if he’s suffering from dementia or something? There has to be some kind of explanation for this kind of foolishness.

  11. Liv Howard
    March 6, 2017 at 11:55 pm — Reply

    The way Luvvie got me set up I started peeping her page as soon as I read about Carson’s ignorant statement. Now I knew she was going to make me read beyond my allotted cuss quota for this month, but between her and Uncle S L Jackson it looks like we can get this Blaxit started.

  12. Kaine
    March 7, 2017 at 4:21 am — Reply

    “Dopey niglet” indeed…whoever borrowed my copy of “Gifted Hands” can keep it, burn it, whatever you want I am unable to can…

    • Woodson
      March 7, 2017 at 8:58 am — Reply

      I usually have a problem tossing books in the trash; however our copy of “Gifted Hands” met that fate in December.

  13. March 7, 2017 at 6:12 am — Reply

    “even as his melanin melts in front of his eyes. From betrayal.”

    Thank you for this.

  14. Margaret
    March 7, 2017 at 7:04 am — Reply

    Ben Carson called slaves immigrants. He sounds like my daughter’s 2nd gr teacher except she also said that they came to here to “help with the crops”.

    The only difference is that she was a 20-something privileged white woman.

  15. March 7, 2017 at 7:33 am — Reply

    THIS!!!!

    “Black man who is so dehydrated for white acceptance that he practices perpetual Black betrayal in order to get what he never will”

    I just can’t with the level of ignorance oozing from every orifice of this administration!!!

  16. Cori Hoston
    March 7, 2017 at 7:41 am — Reply

    This is definitive proof that the movie “Get Out” is a documentary. I am convinced that he is actually a white man on the inside. .ijs

  17. Michele
    March 7, 2017 at 8:23 am — Reply

    Dr. Ben Carson: living proof that doing DIY neurosurgery is never a good idea.

    • notconvincedgranny
      March 7, 2017 at 3:44 pm — Reply

      I was wondering if he took that “physician heal thyself” stuff too literally.

  18. phillygirl
    March 7, 2017 at 8:42 am — Reply

    While every single word you said is true, I don’t understand how not one person in that room stopped Dr Carson–at the very least cleared their throat loudly. I mean, I just would not have been able to contain myself if I heard that with my own ears, and in the room with said speaker. Not one soul wriggled in his seat with his hand raised waiting to be called upon? Nobody coughed “You Lie” into his hand? Why wasn’t Angela Rye in attendance?

    • Retired public servant
      March 7, 2017 at 7:49 pm — Reply

      Can we hear from any staff there to he’s from their new boss? What point was he trying to make speaking this group of HUD staff? Hope he wasn’t trying to motivate. I would not have beef able to keep from screaming or laughing.

  19. Lauren
    March 7, 2017 at 9:19 am — Reply

    What do I say about THIS blog here?!?!?!?!

    It says EVERYTHING I may have wanted to say but didn’t articulate. It has me betwixt and between emotions: howling with laughter and sad as hell.

    Ben is an enigma. Like you said Luvvie, how could a brain surgeon be so daft, so brainless.

    I weep for the people who have to call him family, friend. 😢😢😢

    I however choose to end on a happy note and this does it for me:

    “Sweet Alabaster 5 lb 7 oz baby Jesus in that manger, his virginal mama Mary and his stepdaddy Joey. I call on all of them to hold my mule and be a fence because what I’m not able to do is this.”

  20. Jayne
    March 7, 2017 at 9:50 am — Reply

    Ben Carson is a hot, boiling, microwaved mess of foolishness! Fix it Jesus, Buddah, Rev Run, whoever! I just can’t with THIS!

  21. Choc
    March 7, 2017 at 10:08 am — Reply

    “a Black man who is so dehydrated for white acceptance that he practices perpetual Black betrayal in order to get what he never will.” This is the best description of him that I’ve ever heard. Dead on!!!

  22. Ivy Zenith
    March 7, 2017 at 10:28 am — Reply

    “I hate his socks.” Ooh lawdy dang diggity doo! YES. I also hate his funky ass feet that carry his funky ol’ rotting carcASS around. And that couch of his needs to be burned, ’cause it probably smells like Nutty Nectarine McFucknut’s funky ol’ seed that Coon-Ben-Ya didn’t lap up. YEAH I’m fed up with it all. >=-/

    • Sunrise
      March 8, 2017 at 6:25 am — Reply

      Say it AGAIN😂😎😎😂😂

  23. Ian Straus
    March 7, 2017 at 11:09 am — Reply

    Don’t hold back. Tell us how you really feel.

  24. March 7, 2017 at 12:11 pm — Reply

    Haha I love this “How did a brain surgeon become so brainless?” Maybe he always was curious what brains look like and thus became a brain surgeon. He is clearly lacking one.

  25. Marcia
    March 7, 2017 at 1:23 pm — Reply

    I refuse to believe Uncle Ben was a surgeon…he just played Operation and sniffed anesthesia

  26. Carriecnh12
    March 7, 2017 at 1:58 pm — Reply

    When I saw the video I literally thought I was hullucinating, I felt like my spirt had left my body and came back sad, and confused. I actually laughed, but from utter disbelief. I was so sad that this man had the unmitigated gall to say my ancestors who were stolen from their home, walked to the ocean, branded and mutiliated like animals. My ancestors who endured rape, abuse, chains, inhumane conditions on slave ships. My ancestors who were traded like possessions on the slave block, to disgusting monsters, to be worked to death on plantations, where they endured whippings till their bones were exposed, raped and used as breeding stock, locked in ‘hot-boxes’ in the boiling sun. My ancestors who died for the freedom that was rightly theirs as a gift from God. For Ben Carson had the audacity to say my ancestors were immigrants, this man dare shame and belittle the history of black people in America and the Caribbean in such a careless manner, is a true sin.

  27. The Bad Liz
    March 7, 2017 at 2:34 pm — Reply

    You might be my newest hero!

  28. Johnetta Turner
    March 7, 2017 at 2:44 pm — Reply

    That was sadly necessary! UGH!! Just stick to science Dr. Carson, please.

  29. notconvincedgranny
    March 7, 2017 at 3:48 pm — Reply

    He was given way too much credit as a doctor: he only took the most hopeless cases so any success he had was a happy surprise; but he even made some bad situations worse. He took credit for the good results and zero responsibility for the bad and for the catastrophic, he didn’t acknowledge even being in the room.

    Since his only qualification for his current job is having once lived in subsidized housing how can anyone in his department take heed to anything he says? That’s like saying once, decades ago, I saw a nail being hammered; therefore I am qualified to build your house.

    • Maxine Shaw, attorney-at-LOL
      March 7, 2017 at 8:15 pm — Reply

      Actually, the whole “subsidized housing” story turn out to be a lie – much like just about everything he’s ever said about himself.

      But if you really want to know how dumb this man is, Google “Ben Carson Proverbs” and laugh your butt off at the first link. I’d post a link if I could.

  30. Darker Than Blue
    March 7, 2017 at 6:54 pm — Reply

    I listen to people like Ben Carson, or Uncle Ben as he should be called and I weep.

    As Curtis said, “We people who are darker than blue” (You know the rest of the hymn!!).

    What else apart from self hate and and uncle tomfoolery could enable him to see the world the way he does?

    What on Earth does his family think???

  31. Jeff
    March 7, 2017 at 9:54 pm — Reply

    “It wasn’t always easy for new immigrants. Certainly, it wasn’t easy for those of African heritage who had not come here voluntarily and yet in their own way were immigrants themselves. There was discrimination and hardship and poverty. But, like you, they no doubt found inspiration in all those who had come before them. And they were able to muster faith that, here in America, they might build a better life and give their children something more.”

    – Barack Obama, December 15, 2015

    http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/?pid=111241

    • TxBirdy
      March 8, 2017 at 12:40 am — Reply

      Cleary states were brought here involuntarily and qualified the statement by saying “in their own way were imigrants”.

      BTW
      I remember when Obama said this. He was crutilized as well.

    • Nmbrcrnchr
      March 17, 2017 at 1:35 pm — Reply

      From that exact same speech:

      “From the start, Africans were brought here in chains against their will and then toiled under the whip. They also built America.”

  32. TxBirdy
    March 8, 2017 at 12:42 am — Reply

    Did you really have to call the man a Jive Turkey?

    Heeheehee

  33. Jill
    March 8, 2017 at 9:07 am — Reply

    1. His barber is white
    2. He gave himself a lobotomy

    Those are the only excuses I’ll except for the travesty that is Benjamin Can’t Get Right Carson.

  34. Denise
    March 8, 2017 at 2:55 pm — Reply

    I still believe that Ben Carson has a brain tumor. This is the only logical explanation for all of this foolishness.

  35. March 9, 2017 at 11:18 am — Reply

    I knew that Ben Carson bothered me before. I mean, come on. Duh. The joker be dumb. But it wasn’t until I read this one part of your post that it really hit me as to WHY he bothered me: “…as he bows at the feet of a man who would own slaves TODAY if allowed.”
    Dayuuuuuum.
    It’s just so true that reading it, and thereby realizing it, made my stomach sink.
    Now, that being said, at the bit where you were raging on all these things you hated about him and then typed, “I hate his couch,” I guffawed so hard that I woke up my almost completely deaf geriatric foster dog. She’s okay though, just in case you’re wondering. She hates his couch, too.

  36. Rebecca
    March 9, 2017 at 5:17 pm — Reply

    When he says “There were other immigrants came in the bottom of slave ships, who worked even longer, even harder, for less.” is he saying that new immigrants should work like slaves? That a system that enslaved people was better, because it made them work hard? Or maybe that slaves were just so happy to be here, they were willing to work hard? I am so confused; I think my brain just exploded.

    • KDAV
      March 10, 2017 at 12:33 pm — Reply

      Ummm…my question…what makes ‘…worked longer, harder, for less’…..less than free??? Slavery was/is ‘free labor’ so please explain how you work harder “for less” when ain’t nary a slave been paid…..
      I. CAN.NOT. I.WILL.NOT!
      And yes, Luvvie – ” you kilt it with this here – “a Black man who is so dehydrated for white acceptance that he practices perpetual Black betrayal in order to get what he never will.” ^0^-^0^ side-eyes and \_ \_ seats is all he can get…

  37. Mary Burrell
    March 15, 2017 at 9:24 pm — Reply

    Carson’s brain is in the sunken place.

  38. Celia
    March 17, 2017 at 12:07 pm — Reply

    The sunken place tho! Love it.

  39. BlusAngel
    March 17, 2017 at 5:42 pm — Reply

    I can just see Samuel L. meeting Carson and channeling Jules Winnfield:

    Samuel L.: Immigrants?!
    Ben: What?
    Samuel L.: In the bottom of SLAVE SHIPS??!!
    Ben: What?
    Samuel L.: Say “what” again! Say “WHAT” again…I dare you…I double dare you, muthafcker! Say “what” one more goddamn time!

    smh

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