Whose Monopoly Man Come to Life is This? Oh. Roger Stone Jr.
Below is Roger Stone Jr., an advisor to Tang Tyrant and his troop of trifling twatwaffles that he considers an administration.
Come to find out, he ain’t shit. As in, he’s a sexist and racist walking cartoon villain.
And I’m pretty sure this man owns slaves. Not owned but OWNS. As in, today. There’s probably a plantation with his name on it and humans he considers property.
This dude is still mad at Abraham Lincoln for the Gettysburg address.
This man is still surly that Ben Franklin stole his kite that day he got electrocuted.
This chap’s social security number is nil.
How many times has this man died? Whose mind will he send to the sunken place so he can use their body?
This guy will NEVER give up Park Place now that he built hotels on it.
This is the dude behind the #FuckPaulReveresSnitchingAss tea party.
This is the person they modeled Michigan J. Frog after. WB face ass.
This chap still uses phrases like “that colored gal…” especially when he wants to show respect.
Bruh still stocks his own homemade liquor, because he doesn’t remember the times of Prohibition fondly.
This fellow owns a bag made of old carpet. Reconstruction #TBT.
This man strategized with Scar to kill Mufasa. He suggested the stampede.
This dude remembers fondly, the cartoons that featured the crow named Jim. He wonders when the world got so… sensitive.
A saint who goes by @Spookperson went on an epic Twitter roast of this man, and burnt him to a crisp. It was after I stopped wheezing from laughing so damb hard, I had to add my own.
my dude looks like the babadook https://t.co/9d0C79q9Om
— Goth Ms. Frizzle (@spookperson) March 15, 2017
As if that wasn’t enough, I shared homeboy’s pic on my Awesomely Luvvie FB page and LuvvNation let him HAVE IT some more.
Bridgette: My first thought was, “I bet that plantation is somewhere between Park Place and Boardwalk.”
Deshawn: Oswald Cobblepot’s jealous second cousin Mortimer Terracotta.
Stella: Why is he wearing my great-aunt’s dress pants?
Luvvie: Those are Miss Sofia’s britches.
Jasmine: “One size fit all!”
Della: You mean Miss Celie’s Folkspants??? Ol’ Mr. Peanut looking tail!
Felicia: It’s like the Penguin and the Ask Jeeves logo had an evil baby.
Charnee: Come over here and look at the monopoly man’s more hoity toity, well to do, grey poupon eating, Russian vodka/caviar loving cousin!!
Jasmine: Where was he going? Was this just a regular day? He definitely employs lawn jockeys. He’s carried around on someone’s back as his primary mode of transportation.
Raja: I have questions too! Where the hell was he going? The slave master’s players ball?
India: And where did those sinister glasses come from?? And where does one even procure an outfit like this complete with gloves and a pocket watch?? The 1800’s slavery era INDEED!! #EbenezerScroogelooking*ss #wheresthecane #theresGOTTAbeaCaneWithThisOutfit
Kathryn: This man literally has his former boss’s face tattooed on his back.
Jasmyn: Where did he go for an alphet like that? The Men’s Wearhouse Time Tunnel?
Ty: He counseled Andrew Jackson on “The Indian problem.”
He suggested the name “Jesus” for one of the slave ships.
He thinks the Trail of Tears was “a good start.”
He represented Ferguson in Plessy v Ferguson
Kira: He kinda looks like still says “coppers” and “fortnight”. Ijs
Kelly: An escapee from Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children?
Jimmy: They look like what happens when you feed White Privilege after midnight.
Emmanuel: I can imagine everything he says in the key of Foghorn Leghorn…#SuhISaySuh
Shasitty: Looking like a pimp named Ashy Ascot Asshole and his bitch named Ten Cents.
Ian: That is the worst steampunk cosplay I’ve ever seen.
Anne: Mr. Peanut looks like he’s chilling, but he’s actually about to go kneecap Lord Huffington Knobgobbler for stealing his clothes.
Richard: Why does he look like a mid-budget Snidely Whiplash?
Grace: Are you sure this isn’t a Snapchat filter gone wrong? WTH?!
Emily: Who framed Roger Rabbit?!? Pretty sure it was this dude
Gayle: Tim Burton and Johnny Depp said, “Ummm… overkill.”
Cara: How does one simply (and literally) have no lips?
Shakira: He looks like he sleeps upside down.
Robert: But why does he look like he just hopped out of a Delorean?
Deshawn: New villain in Gotham: Lipless Folkspants!
Daphney: Coming straight from Teddy Roosevelt inauguration?!
Adrienne: Does he drive a carriage full of missing children?
NeoDasha: Ain’t that Death’s great uncle???
Crystal: I dunno but I feel like we need Batman.
Barbara: Damn. We ARE Gotham. I’m on it. *Heads to garage to build Bat-call light*
This is such peak caucasity. And by the way, he might look 175 but he’s only 64. I told you that God has a sense of humor, since he melts some people from the inside out. Roger been here before. And stayed.