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Count Diddy Won at the 2017 Met Gala

The Met Gala is the annual meeting of people who Anna Wintour can still stand. It is an assemblage of the most ferocious people in music, media, movies and more. It is a place that we all act like we wouldn’t like to be invited but we’re lying and we too wanna put on costumes outside of October 31.

Every year, the Met Gala dares everyone to outdo each other. At this event, you can come looking like shrubbery or a mushroom and you will receive applause. Please feast your eyes upon Queen Rihanna.

This is a lot of fashion and I don’t have the range BUT Rihanna has proven that she can emulate the microscopic look of atoms and still run shit. The woman can do no fashion wrong. If she wore this to the Grammys, I would wonder why she insists on looking like something Mario and Luigi should avoid on their quest to saving Princess Daisy. But this is the Met Gala. Your clothes not making sense is totally the theme. As long as you can stand there and look like 1,000 mufuckas can’t tell you nothing. That is one of Ri-Ri’s superpowers and I love her for it.

Women showed up and showed out on the carpet. However, I have to award the night to the man who can’t decide on what name he likes best: Sean Puff Daddy Puffy P. Diddy Diddy Diddles Ciroc King Comb.

He showed up on the carpet in a bedazzled floor length cape, and then proceeded to lay down on the steps for the best pose ever. Look upon the Count of Monte Negro.

Diddy Met Gala

YESSSSSSSSS, DIDDY!!! You better lay there like Pier 1 decoration. He is on those steps looking like the dreams of our ancestors, who wanted to show that they cannot be outdone but never got the chance. As he lays there doing the most with the most and I applaud him. Black excellence will not be erased. NOPE.

And he has the nerve to be giving all the look he can muster. iSweaterGAWD Andre Leon Talley was somewhere wiping tears of pride from his eyes. This is a Mr. Miyagi moment for him. Unfuckwitability on a main stage. This is why you can’t take us nowhere. This is also EXACTLY why you wanna take us everywhere. Our inability to be outdone. We bring the soul.

I just love how barren his field of fucks is at this fancy ass event. Like… you could attempt to plant more but they just won’t grow.

Diddy must have some Nigerian in him too because if you look up the word “extra” in the dictionary, you should see our flag next to it. This is basically me when you invite me to nice places. I just don’t know how to act and will behave (or not) accordingly. I was at the TED 2017 Conference last week in Vancouver, and I surely hit the lean on them letters until they told me that the T wasn’t stable so both of us might go toppling. I settled on this instead.

Luvvie at TED

Half the fun is going out in public. The other half is making people uncomfortable with your full noirness. Good times.

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24 Comments

  1. Casey
    May 2, 2017 at 5:26 pm — Reply

    “The Count of Monte Negro” lmaooooooooooo. When I saw the actual full pic of this shot, I hollered!!

  2. Bonnie
    May 2, 2017 at 5:40 pm — Reply

    How else was he gonna show those red soles on his shoes?? Mr. P-Diddles knows what the hell he is DOING!

  3. DB
    May 2, 2017 at 5:53 pm — Reply

    Did anyone capture this in motion? Like, how did he go from standing to this? Did he pop, lock, and drop it? Ease into it, whilst gazing seductively at the cameras? I vote for B, but I still want to see it so I can practice the moves.

    • May 2, 2017 at 6:51 pm — Reply

      I need to know!

    • Gina
      May 2, 2017 at 7:07 pm — Reply

      Questions that need answers!! Lol…

    • notconvincedgranny
      May 3, 2017 at 2:29 pm — Reply

      Like the Scarecrow, he eased on down, eased on down the road. Cassie was being photographed, so this is the pose he struck while he waited. Yeah, stole her sunshine, lightning, thunder and newly-minted virginity all at once.

      But Rih-Rih looked like one of my quilt projects that should have turned left at Albuquerque. I love Serena but she looked like a dowager. And Pharell’s must have had to feed his wife, because she was wearing a foam spirit finger with no armholes. But the Met Gala is the rich folks Halloween Ball, so all hells are welcome.

  4. May 2, 2017 at 6:06 pm — Reply

    He looks like lovechild of Blacula and the white guy from the circa 2007 Old Spice commercial. AND I AM HERE FOR IT!!!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Af1OxkFOK18

    • MissTish
      May 2, 2017 at 7:18 pm — Reply

      I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought of Blacula!

  5. Denise
    May 2, 2017 at 6:12 pm — Reply

    Yes, Andre Leon Tally should be quite proud. All I can imagine is him getting up and swooping that cape like Count Blacula!

  6. Jane Eyrehead
    May 2, 2017 at 6:13 pm — Reply

    Did he float there? Because the soles of his shoes aren’t even scuffed. He wins.

  7. May 2, 2017 at 6:18 pm — Reply

    She said, “You better lay there like Pier 1 decoration.” I hollered!

  8. Shar
    May 2, 2017 at 6:47 pm — Reply

    Yasss we will not lose EVER! Harlem negros been extra from the renaissance days. #heownsthenight

  9. Robinokd
    May 2, 2017 at 6:54 pm — Reply

    I would love too see what you would wesr to the met gala

  10. […] (and Diddy). I looove this! It made me cackle so hard. Classic Diddy. Werrrk Cassie. Check out Luvvie’s post, it’ll make your […]

  11. Mary Burrell
    May 2, 2017 at 8:27 pm — Reply

    Diddy is giving me Blacula vibes in his red bottoms and cape.

  12. Mary Burrell
    May 2, 2017 at 8:32 pm — Reply

    Only Rhianna can pull off these ridiculous outfits and look beautiful.

  13. Des
    May 3, 2017 at 4:33 am — Reply

    Andre wept.

  14. Stacy
    May 3, 2017 at 7:57 am — Reply

    When I first saw the picture, I thought he had laid on the steps to admire Cassie and draw attention to her. But upon further reflection, and knowing how extra he is, he was showing out. And I’M HERE FOR IT!

  15. Jill
    May 3, 2017 at 12:21 pm — Reply

    This is why black people exist. We shine!
    He laid there like Sears just got finished cleaning that carpet.
    He said, “Yes Cassie is fine but look upon me and admire!”
    Yes Diddy! Yes!

  16. Laurie
    May 3, 2017 at 4:51 pm — Reply

    I have to hand it to Diddy. If I tried that, I would just look like I slipped and fell. He full on looks like he’s a Greek god lounging there and why aren’t we all doing it?

  17. J.
    May 3, 2017 at 4:57 pm — Reply

    Nah no Nigerian. That’s still ok though right.

  18. Brandão
    May 3, 2017 at 6:03 pm — Reply

    I imagine Dr. Diddles hoovered into the venue, tossing away fucks to the peasants along the way with each swoop of the cape. Respect to the cape, but them hooves are laced up nice too.

    **Also, why you write so good Luvvie!? Cackleage and awe the whole way through.

  19. Brandão
    May 3, 2017 at 6:07 pm — Reply

    *hovered. not that he could not have easily had a hoover up under that cape somewhere.

  20. Joseph
    May 4, 2017 at 12:47 pm — Reply

    **DEAD at “the Count of Monte Negro” BAWAHAWAHA

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