Category: Letter

Dear Fellow Christians, About This Christ Crutch We Use to Justify Foolery…

[ 50 ] June 4, 2014 |
Dear Fellow Christians, About This Christ Crutch We Use to Justify Foolery…

I just feel like I need to talk to my faith-similar folks for a second. Dear Christians, I’m a life-long Christian and I was raised by a village of protectors and guardians who included my Grandmother, a lover of the Lord (with all her heart and soul). She taught me that being a Christian is more than […]

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Dear Winter, You’ve Overstayed Your Welcome. Please Go.

[ 66 ] April 16, 2014 |
Dear Winter, You’ve Overstayed Your Welcome. Please Go.

I’m cold. You’re cold. We’re all cold. The word “cold” is freezing. But it’s Spring and this is ri-damb-diculous. Where is security??? Winter needs to be escorted out since it doesn’t want to leave on its own free will. This is why I am here with this sternly-worded letter. I am advocating for warmth. Dear […]

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Dear King Children, You Better Not Sell Your Daddy’s Bible and Medal!

[ 39 ] February 7, 2014 |
Dear King Children, You Better Not Sell Your Daddy’s Bible and Medal!

This sternly-worded letter has been on my spirit all week. Dr. Bernice King wrote a letter talmbout how her brothers are suing her to get her to transfer Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s Bible and Nobel Peace Prize medal to them so they can sell it. I was like WHAT THE DEUCE?!? So I’m here […]

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Dear Lupita Nyong’o, Why Must You Slay Us So Effortlessly?

[ 162 ] January 22, 2014 |
Dear Lupita Nyong’o, Why Must You Slay Us So Effortlessly?

My newest celebrity crush is Lupita Nyong’o and if you have to ask me why, then we have nothing to talk about. I’m here to write her a love letter, because she is everything. I’m not even here to talk about her performance in 12 Years a Slave. No. I’m shallower that that. I am […]

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Dear Madonna, NOPE! You Cannot Use That Word

[ 35 ] January 20, 2014 |
Dear Madonna, NOPE! You Cannot Use That Word

Social media keeps showing us that some of our favorite celebrities should really make use of their publicists 24/7 for all things. Also, they need to hire community managers to handle their accounts because when left to their own devices, they blow shit up so properly and so quickly. Madonna is the latest victim of […]

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Dear Peggy Noland, About That Naked Oprah Dress… NO MA’AM!

[ 100 ] November 14, 2013 |
Dear Peggy Noland, About That Naked Oprah Dress… NO MA’AM!

I came across a link on The Cut about artist Peggy Noland’s newest project, “Oprah: Skinny, Naked, and Screaming on Your Dress.” THE HELL, BRO?!? So I’m here to write Peggy a sternly-worded letter because my spirit is IRKED! Look at the dress and see why I’m pissed: Dear Peggy Noland, You disrespectful bitch! I […]

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Dear E! News, Lee Thompson Young’s Death and Yoruba “Religion” Link is Irresponsible

[ 124 ] August 21, 2013 |
Dear E! News, Lee Thompson Young’s Death and Yoruba “Religion” Link is Irresponsible

E! News is reporting that Lee Thompson Young’s suicide may have been result of his involvement with “Yoruba religion.” I’m reporting that they’re idiots. It’s pretty ballsy to insinuate this and it’s the biggest crock of bullshit. Methinks it demonizes Yoruba people as advocates for suicide. It’s irresponsible, full of bigotry and plays into the “Africans are barbaric” trope.

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Dear Vibe Magazine, About Your Twitter After Dark Chat

[ 25 ] July 26, 2013 |
Dear Vibe Magazine, About Your Twitter After Dark Chat

The other night, Vibe Magazine’s Twitter account turned was turned over to radio personality, Angela Yee, for an hour for a “Twitter After Dark” chat. And I’m here to tell them to sit down for this decision. Because it was terrible, in my opinion. So here’s a sternly worded letter for the Vibe Magazine team. […]

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Dear LL Cool J, ‘Accidental Racist’ is an Accidental Failure

[ 84 ] April 9, 2013 |
Dear LL Cool J, ‘Accidental Racist’ is an Accidental Failure

LL Cool J and Brad Paisley set the web ablaze yesterday when they released their new collabo song ‘Accidental Racist.’ The controversy and backlash was well-deserved too. I don’t listen to Brad’s music, and hell, I haven’t listened to LL’s for YEARS either. But I need to have some words with the Brother Man, not the […]

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Dear Rick Ross, About Your Slipping Molly Lyrics… No.

[ 53 ] March 26, 2013 |
Dear Rick Ross, About Your Slipping Molly Lyrics… No.

Rick Ross, the rapper with moobs has earned this sternly-worded letter for being a disrespectful misogynistic jackass through his music. Dear Rick Ross, You came out with a song with the following lyrics: “Put molly all in her champagne, she ain’t even know it. I took her home and I enjoyed that, she ain’t even […]

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Dear New York Knicks, Reconsider the Tyrese Takeover

[ 22 ] March 3, 2013 |
Dear New York Knicks, Reconsider the Tyrese Takeover

I woke up to folks’ tweets about Tyrese taking over the New York Knicks’ Twitter handle later today during their game. I am here to ask the Knicks to think twice. Because. For reasons. I hope this makes it to their management before it’s too late. Do your part. Share it. Kthx. Dear New York […]

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Dear NRA, A Stadium of Seats Awaits You

[ 22 ] January 16, 2013 |
Dear NRA, A Stadium of Seats Awaits You

The National Rifle Association (NRA) has been tripping for a good while and they’ve been hitting their dougie all over the collective nerves of people with sense. They’ve more than earned this sternly-worded letter. Dear NRA, I’m beginning to believe that you have to be a dizzy dingbat to be an executive. Like there’s a […]

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Dear Caroline Wozniacki, Mocking Serena’s Body? You TRIED It

[ 62 ] December 11, 2012 |
Dear Caroline Wozniacki, Mocking Serena’s Body? You TRIED It

I tell ya. People are getting too big for their britches nowadays and they clearly need to be snatched back into their lanes. This latest sternly-worded letter was earned by Caroline Wozniacki, tennis player and consummate loser. Dear Caroline Wozniacki, Girl, you REALLY tried it. You tried it so hard that your failure is embarrassing. […]

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