Category: Letter
Dear LL Cool J, ‘Accidental Racist’ is an Accidental Failure
LL Cool J and Brad Paisley set the web ablaze yesterday when they released their new collabo song ‘Accidental Racist.’ The controversy and backlash was well-deserved too. I don’t listen to Brad’s music, and hell, I haven’t listened to LL’s for YEARS either. But I need to have some words with the Brother Man, not the [...]
Dear Rick Ross, About Your Slipping Molly Lyrics… No.
Rick Ross, the rapper with moobs has earned this sternly-worded letter for being a disrespectful misogynistic jackass through his music. Dear Rick Ross, You came out with a song with the following lyrics: “Put molly all in her champagne, she ain’t even know it. I took her home and I enjoyed that, she ain’t even [...]
Dear New York Knicks, Reconsider the Tyrese Takeover
I woke up to folks’ tweets about Tyrese taking over the New York Knicks’ Twitter handle later today during their game. I am here to ask the Knicks to think twice. Because. For reasons. I hope this makes it to their management before it’s too late. Do your part. Share it. Kthx. Dear New York [...]
Dear NRA, A Stadium of Seats Awaits You
The National Rifle Association (NRA) has been tripping for a good while and they’ve been hitting their dougie all over the collective nerves of people with sense. They’ve more than earned this sternly-worded letter. Dear NRA, I’m beginning to believe that you have to be a dizzy dingbat to be an executive. Like there’s a [...]
Dear Caroline Wozniacki, Mocking Serena’s Body? You TRIED It
I tell ya. People are getting too big for their britches nowadays and they clearly need to be snatched back into their lanes. This latest sternly-worded letter was earned by Caroline Wozniacki, tennis player and consummate loser. Dear Caroline Wozniacki, Girl, you REALLY tried it. You tried it so hard that your failure is embarrassing. [...]
Dear Rob Kardashian, You Got the Nerve to Call Rita Ora a Whore
Two people I haven’t paid much attention to are getting some attention today, and I am here to write one of them a sternly-worded letter. Rob Kardashian, the Patron Saint of Ain’t Ever Did Shit went on a Twitter rant against his ex-lady he was seen with Rita Ora, also known as Lighter Rihanna to everyone. [...]
Dear Shirley, Woman to Woman, Don’t Be Calling Barbara’s House Like That!
I was listening to Shirley Brown’s Woman to Woman, and I was just like “You know what? Shirley was TRIPPING.” So I decided to write her a sternly-worded letter. In case you’ont know what song I’m talmbout, see below: “Hey Barbara, this is Shirley. You might not know who I am…” Dear Shirley, First of [...]
Dear Wyclef Jean, You are 50 Shades of Trifling for this Lauryn Thing
Lauryn Hill’s name won’t stop coming up lately and it hasn’t been for anything music-related, which is a shame. Wyclef Jean is releasing his autobiography, and folks got a sneak peek at it and got some quotables. One of the things he addresses is his deep affair with Lauryn Hill, which led to the eventual [...]
Dear Everyone Hating on Gabby Douglas’ Hair, Have A Seat.
Three weeks ago, I didn’t know who Gabrielle Douglas was. I had never heard of the 4 foot 11 inches 16-year-old from Virginia with an infectious smile and a love for the Lord. Now, I know and love Gabby, as if she was a little sister or cousin. I root for that girl’s success and [...]
Dear Stevie J, You And Your Groupon Peen Are The Worst
Today’s sternly-worded letter is to Stevie J, music producer, and now one of the stars of the reality TV show Love and Hip Hop Atlanta (LHHATL). Yes, I’m aware that a lot of the show is scripted so it might not be as “real” as folks think but if he chose to play this fakish [...]
Dear Erykah Badu, That Video? Please Go Have a Window Seat
Erykah Badu has done a duet with the group Flaming Lips, using Roberta Flack’s “First Time Ever I Saw Your Face.” And the video came out this week, and it is a total clusterf*ck. I watched all 5 minutes of it and frowned through the entire thing because it involved a naked Erykah Badu (and [...]
Dear Usher and Tameka, Please Tuck In Your Petty
I wasn’t following the Raymond vs. Raymond divorce proceedings closely at all until this weekend. All I knew was that Usher and Tameka were in court fighting for custody of the 2 sons they have together. Tameka wants full custody because she says URSHA is a bad dad, and he’s not giving up that easy. [...]
Dear Bristol Palin, Criticizing the President? Girl SHUT UP
I’ve been overdue for a sternly-worded letter, and there’s so much foolery in the world that this one could have been written to a plethora of people who don’t know how to act, or did the most with the least. However, the lucky winner is Bristol Palin. She had the nerve to criticize President Obama‘s [...]
