Category: Letter
Dear Sheila Johnson, You Got Words for Oprah and OWN, Huh?
So y’all know I LOVE me some Oprah. I am a self-admitted STAN. Mother Oprah is IT and I heart she. Oprah’s my mentor in my head and I’ve been in the audience of her show twice. I was mad salty both times because I was praying it’d be the Favorite things one both times, [...]
Dear Amazon, Selling A Pedophilia Guide Book??? AWFUL!
I wasn’t even planning a sternly-worded letter this week. But as usual, something popped up to make one necessary. An evening post? Yes. It’s on THAT level of serious. I was on Twitter when I saw this tweet: I clicked on it, and what do I see but THIS: Dear Amazon, What in all that [...]
Dear Antoine Dodson, I’m Not Mad At You But…
I realized that I had not written a sternly-worded letter in far too long. In fact, the last one I wrote was to Laurence Fishburne about his wayward daughter, Tana. 2 months ago. FAR TOO LONG! Today’s recipient is someone I was (and still am) cheering for, but may need to have a little seat. [...]
Dear Taylor Swift, Please STFU and Get Over It
Taylor Swift got the nerve to go on this year’s VMAs and weep through her guitar onstage about an event that happened a year ago. And I’m about SICK of her. So here’s my letter. Dear Taylor Swift, Gurl you’re actually playing the clip of Kanye interrupting you from last year before your performance?!? OH! [...]
Dear Laurence Fishburne, You Has My Sympathies
Hey Larry hey. How are you doing? I’m sure you’ve been better. So as the whole world now knows, your daughter likes to have lots of sex for money. As a father, one of your jobs is to keep your daughter off the pole and out “the flicks.” And this didn’t happen. And I’m not sure I blame you. Why? Because you seemed to be a stable and good father to her. She just went wayward and I can’t imagine how you feel.
Dear Kat Stacks, You Are Failing At Life
One letter that has been LONG overdue by me is a letter to the infamous Kat Stacks. Some of you are probably asking “Who is Kat Stacks?” Well I posed the question to my twitfam, and here’s what they come up with. Some ho – @smashedthehomie An unemployed dick’s worst nightmare. – @itsprincey A talking [...]
Dear Dan Gilbert, Did Lebron Forget to Cuddle?
So I didn’t give many dambs about Lebron James’ announcement and bazaar and carnival about where he was going. Wherever it was, Lebron was going to get mad loot I ain’t got. He’s going to be ok. He wasn’t giving us the cure to cancer or saying an NBA ball’s rubber would stop the oil [...]
Dear Mel Gibson, Please STFU
So Gawker released an article last week saying that Mel Gibson went on a diatribe against his ex. “You look like a fucking pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of n*ggers, it will be your fault.” – Mel Gibson to his wife. THAT is why Mel has earned this week’s [...]
Dear Re-Re Franklin, 2 days in a row?
I was first gonna post about something completely different but this took precedence so I had to. Thank to Claire Sulmers of The Fashion Bomb for bringing this to my attention. She wrote a post over at AOL Black Voices and I HAD to write Aretha Franklin a sternly-worded letter for her foolishness. Dear Re-Re Franklin, Hey [...]
Dear Rihanna, About this Hair of Yours…
You got the SAME haircut Jim Carrey had in “Dumb & Dumber” and then dyed it with red Kool-Aid. What hairdresser agreed to doing your hair like this??? You clearly got too many “Yes” men around you.
Dear Liza Minelli. No to “Single Ladies”
Liza Minnelli did a version of Beyonce’s “Single Ladies.” I’m murked. If you don’t getcho geriatric, eau de Ben Gay self and go be qwat somewhere! What are YOU doing singing “Single Ladies?”
Dear Chris Brown, The Burnt Sienna Apology Blouse…
Ok, so you know. Rihanna-gate happened last year. We all know what happened. I shan’t reshash it. People have already talked it into the ground. You gave multiple horrid interviews about it. And wore ill-advised baby blue bowties and burnt sienna apology blouses to make yourself look less threatening. And you never quite owned up to what you did (but that’s neither here nor there). It was just a mess all around. But that’s not what I’m here for. Well, not ALL the way. Since last year’s madness, it seems you haven’t learned a thing.
Dear Kelis, You’re Tryna Get HOW MUCH?
The letter below was originally posted August 24th, 2009. But wanted to repost because of the new developments.Nas now owes Kelis over $300,000. GAHTDAMB! If all she gon do with that money is continue to look like a cracked out Statue of Liberty, I disapprove! Messing with Kelis, Nas’ Rush Card don got deactivated. Po’ [...]
