Category: Letter

Dear China: GREAT Wall Slide

[ 4 ] June 3, 2009 |
Dear China: GREAT Wall Slide

This week’s sternly-worded letter has been earned by China (yes, the Republic of). And to anyone who is even THINKING about making some a “Are you sure you’re not from there?” joke because of my super slanted eyes, SHARRAP! Just shut your mouf wide open! Anyway, moving on… Dear China, So I heard today, through […]

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Dear Amazon, Can I Get a Refund?

[ 4 ] May 22, 2009 |
Dear Amazon, Can I Get a Refund?

This week’s letter is directed to one of my favorite stores online, Amazon.com. I’m a dedicated customer and they’ve disappointed me. Womp to them. Dear Amazon, Holder of all things awesome. Connoisseur of Cheap. Magnificent merchant of materials. I love you more than Europeans love Kelendria Rowland. I truly does. However, I got a little […]

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Dear Overmarketers

[ 7 ] May 13, 2009 |
Dear Overmarketers

So one of my biggest pet peeves is to be told something over and over again and it annoys me to NO end. Lately, I’ve been inundated with information from people trying to sell me their products or their party in obnoxious fashion and this week’s sternly-worded letter from is to them. Dear Overmarketers, So […]

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Dearest Oprah (More free chicken?)

[ 16 ] May 5, 2009 |
Dearest Oprah (More free chicken?)

I didn’t think Madame O would need a sternly-worded letter, but alas, I was forced to write one. Dearest Oprah, You know I STAN for you more than Michael Jackson stans for little boys plastic surgery, right? Well I does. That day when I SEED you in “The Color Purple”, I KNEW there was a […]

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People Who Wear Shades Indoors

[ 6 ] April 30, 2009 |
People Who Wear Shades Indoors

***GUEST BLOGGERS WEEK*** Today’s pinch hitter is Dame, of the blog This May Concern You. His blog is awesome because it’s a bunch of sternly-worded letters he writes to people or things he doesn’t always approve of. So, of course, I love it. We’ve done a letter trade, and he posted my Dear Ray J […]

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Prayer for Brandy

[ 6 ] April 28, 2009 |
Prayer for Brandy

**GUEST BLOGGERS WEEK*** Hey folks. Today’s author is the Pretty Brown Girl in all her ignant glory. She is a member of my ePosse, and always comes with that HOT FIYAH (like Dylan). She got a blog called Hey, You Asked where she answers letters that people send her with her usual sagacity. You should […]

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Dear Ray J

[ 8 ] April 21, 2009 |
Dear Ray J

I have watched “For the Love of Ray J” since it started and a part of me is ashamed. But y’all know Reality TV is my visual crack! With that being said, if you haven’t watched the finale and want to wait to catch the rerun to find out who won, you may want to […]

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Dear Angelina & Madonna

[ 11 ] April 2, 2009 |
Dear Angelina & Madonna

This has been on my mind for a minute but I haven’t written about it. Then I found out that Madonna is going to Malawi to adopt yet another child. And, Iast night, I was sent 5 questions for a Blog Roundtable I’m doing over at TheFreshXpress today. So, this week’s original letter was relegated. […]

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Dear Baby Bangs Creator

[ 15 ] March 26, 2009 |
Dear Baby Bangs Creator

Mkay so I thought I was gonna be done with the baby hairhattery foolishness for real, but apparently not. Yesterday morning, the creator of Baby Bangs left a comment on the blog I wrote about her idiotic product, so y’all know I gotta respond in a letter to her. I typically only write one letter […]

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Dear Future Mini Luvvie

[ 29 ] March 24, 2009 |
Dear Future Mini Luvvie

Everywhere I look now, people are having kids. It’s like the 2nd Baby Boom. I’ve counted no less than 50 of my peers with kiddies in the past year. I have so many baby showers lined up that it makes no sense. Whatever’s in the water, I’m not having it. Also, in the past couple […]

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Dear Tyra

[ 17 ] March 5, 2009 |
Dear Tyra

I was watching the new season of America’s Next Top Model last night with the Twitterfam and I was driven to write a sternly-worded letter. Dear Tyra, You know I love you right? In all your draggish glory. You’s a tall glass of vitamin water (no Wanda Sykes). I’s writing you because this 56th season […]

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Dear Kanye West…

[ 24 ] February 27, 2009 |
Dear Kanye West…

Y’all already know my fondness of letters, and just as I poured my heart out in thanks of the Hat’s Aretha (it is no longer Aretha’s Hat. The hat is now so awesome, that it is considered the owner of Aretha, instead of the other way around), I’m writing a 4-page letter to Mr. West […]

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A letter to the HAT

[ 24 ] January 26, 2009 |
A letter to the HAT

Guest Blogger’s Week will start tomorrow. I was moved to write this letter to a national hero. Aretha: Mmhmm! You can’t tell me SH*T. I know you see me! Don’t hate. Appreciate. Dearest Ms. Franklin’s Hat, You came, you sang (on top of Re-Re’s head), and you conquered (the hearts of a WHOLE nation. Hell, […]

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