hillary-clinton-donald-trump-debates-2
Politics

I Survived the First Presidential Debates (Barely) with Clinton vs. Trump

Last night was the first presidential debate that put Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump behind podiums and let them hash it out on various issues. As the presidential nominees for their respective parties, it was their job to state their platforms and bring their plans to the table. As the Miss Benita …

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Michelle Obama DNC
CultureFamous folksPolitics

About Michelle Obama’s DNC Speech and the White House That Was Built by Slaves

Michelle Obama. Michelle LaVaughn Robinson Obama the GAWDESS. First of Her Name. Sasha and Malia’s mama. Barack’s wife. Queen of my Heart. Slayer of Haters. Shader of Intellectually Inferior Walking Cheetos. She Who Shall Not Be Outdone. She stepped on the stage of the Democratic National Convention on day 1 and …

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Bernie Sanders DNC
Famous folksPolitics

Uncle Bernie’s Hair was LAID at the DNC

Y’all know good and damb well that Bernie Sanders be leaving the house looking like he just got out from inside a dryer’s spin cycle. Hair be everywhichway and suit all wrinkled. He was on the campaign trail looking like you did after a particularly TURNT recess period. But last …

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Malik Obama Donald Trump
Politics

Malik Obama is An Enemy of Progress

Everything is weird and the world is ridiculous. Malik Obama, President Barack Obama’s estranged half-brother who lives in Kenya is in the news for his endorsement in this election. Speaking from Kogelo, your uncle has let the world know that even though he is a longtime Democrat, he will be …

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Donald Trump RNC speech
Politics

The Devil is a Walking Cheeto Running for President

The Devil doesn’t wear Prada. He wears a self-branded suit that’s made in China as he rails against immigrants and threatens to build a Wall as if anyone who isn’t American is a White Walker. The Long Night is here. Note: I’m sorry but there are just too many Game …

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RNC 2016 logo
Politics

Day 1 of Republican National Convention Was An Assemblage of Supreme Fuckshit

Y’all, what in the lowest realm of hell is wrong with the leadership of the Republican National Convention? And how did they manage to start it off so wrong that I’m already tired of their shit? You can’t even make any of this shit up. The fuckery that has already …

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Dubya Dallas Memorial
Famous folksPolitics

Dubya’s Sway and Smiles to the Battle Hymn is My Favorite Thing About Today

There are times when I low-key miss the George W. Bush presidential years. Ok I admit, the only thing I miss about him is the ability to lambast him. Dubya was the guy who invited everyone to the kegger in college and was a BEAST at beer pong. He was …

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Bernie Sanders Hair
Famous folksPolitics

We Gotta Talk About Uncle Bernie’s Struggle Hair

Listen. Folks keep talking about issues and stances and policy, ignoring the real important thing about this whole election. When are we going to have a real conversation about Bernie Sanders’ struggle hair? When are we going to get down to the nitty gritty and get to the heart of the …

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President Obama WHCD 2016
Politics

15 Best Jokes From President Obama at His Final Nerd Prom

The 2016 White House Correspondent Dinner (aka Nerd Prom) was bittersweet because it was President Barack Obama’s final one. It’s definitely one event to look forward to every year because he lets loose and roasts the hell outta Washington DC’s finest: the media, Congress, and himself. My only regret in life …

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Turn America Off
Politics

Hey Tech Support, America’s Loading Slow

It feels like the United States is going through some things right now. Between this election season’s straight buffoonery, spurred on by the GOP cirque du idiots and the Dems ripping each other apart, things are rough around here. It also doesn’t help that state legislatures are obsessed with regulating …

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