SOPA is short for the “Stop Online Piracy Act” and it SAYS it’s trying to protect us from cop based on the Digital Millennium Copyright Act from 1998. SO… it’s goal is to stop copyright infringement and that doesn’t necessarily mean “NO Pr0n.” It’s just going about it the wrong way. In fact, The Oatmeal swooped in and stole the show with this GIF to fully explain what SOPA means and why it matters:

Thank You, OATMEAL! www.theoatmeal.com

Get it? Got it? GOOD. Read more on HERE if you’re still confused.

With that being said, it was HILARIOUS to me how little some (read: a lot of) people understood SOPA. Last night, when it got closer to the time for the black out, my timeline exploded in anti-SOPA tweets. But too bad a lot of them were wrong. Folks seemed to be mainly concerned about SOPA meaning no pr0n, and they really freaked out about it. “ZOMG YALL! This bill means NO MORE Pr0n!!! Oh hell nawl! Lemme put up my censored sticker!!!” I saw a lot of that. And from no pr0n, folks started REACHING about what SOPA does. People were talmbout how SOPA would mean any and every thing not even remotely related to what it’d really mean. It was clear a bunch of people hadn’t read one article on SOPA and were just going off what some of the equally uninformed on their timelines were saying.

“SOPA means I can’t sell nothing on Fridays after 2pm, y’all! We gotta protest it.” No. Just… no. Folks got so ridiculous with it too. They might have well have just created their own new bill with what they thought SOPA was responsible for.

LOL! Basically

SOPA means I can’t post a picture of myself in a bathroom on Facebook!

SOPA gave me cramps!

SOPA made all my coupons expire!

SOPA is the reason I’m single!

I ain’t got no edges! SOPA did it!

My last juice box is gone! DAMB YOU, SOPA!

SOPA made my light bill SKY HIGH!!!

SOPA gave me #DieOfBeaties.

Except it didn’t. *sigh* Bless us. As @Reikun said, SOPA is the new El Nino.

Anywho, glad to see the way the online community really mobilized for the SOPA strike. I hope Congress heard the message loud and clear (especially since the blackout’s landing page made it so easy to call your representative and senators).

The moral of this story is that SOPA is terrible. But it did kill James from “Good Times.”

But let's not.

Related posts:

1. Under construction FOR REAL – Don’t LEAVE ME!

From ToonPool.com

This happens everyday on these interwebs. Every single day, someone who is short on creativity and ideas takes someone else’s work without paying homage to the creator of it. And every day, there’s a pissed off blogger or writer who can’t believe this is happening to them.

What spurred me to finally write it this is the fact that someone took 2 of my blog posts and made a video out of them without giving me any credit. The video ended up on another website and got 90,000+ views, without any mention of me. The thief got all the glory without doing any of the work (he did get his wig snatched on Twitter, so that was comforting). And he felt he was actually doing ME a favor. Then Chescaleigh got her “Shit White Girls Say… to Black Girls” video stolen by Perez Hilton for his site. SMH.

Imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery. It is aggravating and reeks of your own inability to be original. 

Over the years, I’ve been learning more about intellectual property (IP) and how to make sure I don’t get taken advantage of. According to Copyright.gov, copyright infringment ”occurs when a copyrighted work is reproduced, distributed, performed, publicly displayed, or made into a derivative work without the permission of the copyright owner.” 

It’s been important for me not only a a blogger, but as someone who manages a nonprofit with a brand that is often infringed on. OFTEN. I’ve gone to many IP panels, talked to many lawyers who specialize in it and I’ve read on this topic so many times. So I’ll share some of this info I’ve learned with you.

Disclaimer: *taps mic* IS THIS THING ON? Please keep in mind that this is in no way supposed to serve as “legal” advice. Retain a lawyer for that. This is just MY knowledge. *drops mic*

Know Your Rights As A Content Producer

The first way you need you protect your content is by knowing your rights. The moment you press “publish” on a post, you own it. You don’t need to have your work federally registered to prove that you own the rights to it. Yes, having the official “copyright” from the government makes getting damages easier, but it isn’t necessary. So your blog post is yours.

People can use SOME of the content if they link to you in an obvious way. I say “SOME” because someone cannot repost the ENTIRE content of your blog without your permission (even if they link to it). Duplicate content on the web is not really great because it splits up your Google juice and SEO (search engine optimization). If 2 websites have the EXACT same content, Google and the other search engines won’t be sure which one to direct people to so it becomes a bigger problem outside of the whole copying thing.

And I also use “obvious” linking because if you obscurely link to someone’s work that you’ve taken, you’re positioning yourself to be seen as the original source, thereby taking the credit. In copyright infringement, that confusion amongst consumers and readers can be used against you and you could be penalized.

Do know that linking to other bloggers’ works is a good thing. It’s great because the blogger you link might get notified that you’ve linked to them and they’ll probably be pleased. However, don’t take the bulk of someone else’s work and use it for your own pageviews. A paragraph quote that links back to the original source? YES. 6 Paragraphs of someone else’s blog post copied to your site? No.

But how do you keep track of how your content is spreading online?

Monitor Your Work

To make sure that your content isn’t being used by any and everybody without your knowledge, you want to monitor it to know what buzz you’re getting. Or to just know what is being said about you in general on the web..

* Google Alerts – Sign up for Google Alerts, using words related to you, and get them delivered to your email inbox or RSS feed reader. I have many alerts set up, including for the phrases “Awesomely Luvvie,” “Lovette Ajayi,” “The Red Pump Project,” etc. Any words or phrases that are closely tied to you as a person or to you as a blogger/writer/brand should be added. That way, you’ll be able to keep track of your digital footprint better. Ignorance isn’t bliss on these eStreets.

Google Alerts isn’t just to find the people who might be taking your work. It can also let you know what other writers or bloggers are giving you props.

* Fairshare – This is a website that scans the web and compares it to your content. It then sends you weekly reports on what websites are using your work, and if they’re making money or dereon dollars off it. It also lets you know what percent of your work is being used. This is FREE.99 too and so worth it!

* Google and Twitter Search – Ever so often, go on Google and Twitter and search for yourself and mentions of your work. This isn’t about narcissism, but about necessity. They’re both real-time so they’ll tell you what’s happening now. Nowadays, your online reputation IS your resumé and you want to know what it looks like. Know what the internet is saying about you, so search every month.

State Your Permissions

Put people on notice about how you’d like your work to be used. Do you just want people to read it and share the link or do you want to give them permission to tweak it and re-use? Let your readers know the license you’re giving to your work, and there’s a couple of ways to do this.

* Creative Commons (CC) – Creative Commons is an organization that generates different types of licenses for your work. You choose how you want your work to be interacted with, and they give you a badge to use on your website displaying that license. So you can give express permission for your work to be used commercially, if that’s your intention, or you can make it be known that you don’t want your work altered in any way. The CC license is respected online, and can be seen on websites like Flickr or iStock. Get one for your blog. This is what mine looks like:

 Awesomely Luvvie by Luvvie is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License

* CopyScape – Allows you to put up a badge on your website that says you do not welcome plagiarism and you don’t want your content copied. They also have a service similar to Fairshare’s, called Copysentry, that will find copies of your content online. That’s $4.95 a month.

* Create a “Disclaimers” or “Permissions” page – Have a page on your site dedicated to telling people how to use your work. Here’s my Disclaimers page. I also found a great one on Michael Hyatt’s website. It’s simple and very clear.

After doing all this, go a step further with protecting your work from plagiarism.

Register Your Work

Although your work IS yours when you press “publish” it does help to register it federally for extra protection. That added layer can make fines easier to get and the process easier in general.

* Copyright.gov – You can register 3 months worth of your blog posts at time here for $45 a pop. And it could be very well worth it. This can be done online too, so it’s not too inconvenient (although the process is a little confusing once you start the process on the website. Just read the instructions well.

Now even if you’ve done ALL of the above, your work might very well still be copied. Let’s say someone does steal your content. Now what?

Defend Your Work

* Request that your work be removed OR that they give you credit for it. – Tell the offender that they took your content without your permission (which they know) and that you certainly don’t appreciate it or consider it good publicity (which they may not realize). Tell them to respond to you by a certain date and time. Deadlines are good, and show that you have a clear demand.

But what if you can’t find who is behind the stolen content? Do a WHOIS search, using the URL, and it should give you the information of the owner of that domain IF they haven’t paid for private registration. If the person is uncooperative or you still can’t dig their info up, email their site host and let them know that your intellectual property was stolen. The webhost might pull down the site themselves.And ask him to respond by a certain date & time. He probably will not but it gives him a deadline of sorts. THEN move to next step.

If none of this works and you want this rectified, you can go to the next and most serious step.

* Get a lawyer. This step is the last one because it can be a big financial and time commitment to do so. A lawyer can send the offending party an official Cease & Desist letter, putting them on notice that they’re infringing on your work and that you demand they rectify this.

But in deciding to retain an attorney, be aware of the mounting expenses that may occur. You should weigh the cost of suing and pursuing legal action against how much damage you think is really being done. It’s definitely not an easy decision for most to make, but it can be worth it to protect your work. For creatives who are financially eligible, you might be able to find a lawyer to do probono work or at a greatly reduced fee for you. Look for an organization in your area like Lawyers for the Creative Arts.

Your intellectual properties (ideas, writing, art) are priceless. Sometimes you have to fight against people who steal them.

Tell em, Bart! Can this be everyone's mantra?

It’s understood that nothing is truly new under the sun, but ideas are important, and others are short of them. Ideas we have are priceless, and when they’re good, people will try to copy them and make it their own. And there’s a difference between being inspired by someone’s work, and just blatantly copying. It’s not ok for people to capitalize and earn money or fame off the work of others, but it happens everyday. But just because it happens all the time doesn’t mean it should or that we shouldn’t try to rectify it.

If you DO decide to imitate, by all means, #PayAmish to the person whose work you copied to make yourself be great. And if you’re copied, fight for what’s yours. Plagiarism sucks!

It’s so necessary for fellow writers and creatives to know how to protect their work that appears online. A lot of use blogging as an outlet AND a livelihood, so to us, it is more than “just words.” I hope this helps in letting us all know what our rights are.

Was this helpful?

Follow @luvvieig

Related posts:

1. All Blog Conference Everything
2. Blogging 101: So You Think You Wanna Blog
3. The Random Things Folks Search to Find My Blog (and a Giveaway)

But I had to do this list separately, honestly because of Tyrese. I like the man. He’s all chocolate, and looks like a tall drink of Coca-Cola (;-)). And “Baby Boy” is an urban classic. Ask BET to vouch for that, since they play it at least once a week, and I watch it. But the man isn’t the sharpest tool in the box. However, he doesn’t know it, and he takes himself very seriously to the point of hilarity. In the past year, folks have submitted so many Tyrese tweets to DumbestTweets.com that I had to give him his own hashtag. And this has also led to him blocking me on Twitter. Yes, really.

Soooo yes, Tyrese is half of this list but it’s for reasons. Trust me. So here goes

20 Dumbest Celebrity Tweets of 2011

1. 

Shoutout to DJ Pandora on Station WV-Internets! O___O

2. 

And y’all wonder why Kim’s brother can’t get no job. He’s too busy spending time attempting self-fellatio. 

3. 

“Highgean.” Soooo people just don’t respect that red squiggly line AT ALL. 

4. 

I just… I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TRYNA TELL US, TY! Especially the last sentence. “That ghetto hot sauce will stay forest” has me scratching my head like I got lice.

5. 

Who is Justin Beaver??

6. 

Not “anorexic” but “anoronix.” Now Metta… *deep sigh*

7. 

Someone come get Omarion out the paint. He’ont believe in lesbians b/c when they get around him, they change. INTO WHAT? Bow Wow? Have a seat, sir. \_

8. 

“Hell Mary.” Oh. (-_-)

9.

Drake is up there acting like Aaliyah’s his holy mentor and guardian. Lemme find out that God made Aaliyah Drake’s Heavenly Sister. Apparently, while he’s on stage rapping like a diabetic sloth, Baby Girl’s cheering him on. I don’t think so. Wheel Chair Jimmy might wanna go have a seat cuz… NAWL!

10.

Yeah! Go get a “PAPS MER!” O_______________o

11.

No.

12. 

Rumor is that this “aurthur’s” book “Manology” is a best-seller. iWeep.

13. Charlie, take us to your leader.

14.

But wait… O_o

15. 

“Session finally.” Raheem, that’s “season finale.” Lawd…

16.

Child BARRON hips. Mike ain’t e’em about that life. Him and Tyrese should have a sleepover.

17.

What was Rosa parting? And a gift TO gab? This is why Murphy Lee can’t have nice things.

18.

Snitching on yourself. Oh ok.

19.

Crytinyte. I just wanna cry tonight. Tyrese, what are you saying to us??? 

20. 

This is about as deep as a drool spot. 

Bonus tweet from our favorite:

21.

Oh Jody…

I was going to do 25 but I got tired, and you can’t blame me. After sifting through these 1,000+ proofs of the demise of good grammar, my eyes are cussing me out! And my soul is weary.

So I hope you’ve all enjoyed these lists. Same time next year for dumbest tweets of 2012? YES, LAWD! In the meantime, get your fix by visiting DumbestTweets.com regularly because it’s updated daily. If you see any tweets that make you *facepalm*, submit them on the DumbestTweets Submit page.

And in case you missed any of the previous ones:

* 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2011: Part 1
* 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2011: Part 2
* 25 Dumbest Tweets of 2010

Getchu a piece! And:

Follow @luvvieig

Related posts:

1. The 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2011. Part 2
2. The 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2011. Part 1
3. The 25 Dumbest Tweets of 2010
4. Luvvie’s 2011 VMAs Live-Tweets Party
5. Luvvie’s BET Awards 2011 Live-Tweets Party

So, here’s the other 25, in no particular order of foolishness.

50 Dumbest Tweets of 2011. Part 2

25.

*looks on calendar* Man, mine stops at month 12. She must know something none of us do.

26. RT @tAKAunia: I NEED A FRATERNITY TEST cause LEBRON might be the baby daddy now

RT @incarlitoshead_: #sidechickchristmasgift Fraternity test

I wonder if the result will come back Iota. (-__-)

27. RT @furiouStylez: do lesbians have periods?

Naw but they definitely got exclamation points. This dummy here… O_o

28. 

O______________________o Really??? No seriously. WHAT THE HELL??

29. RT @Jae_Millioso: What the fuck are “donserly lights btw?!?!?”

Donserly lights. DONS-ERLY LIGHTS. Donse… WAIT. Wayment. You mean “dawn’s early lights” from the Star-spangled banner? *lays my burden downs*

30. RT @KendriaRenee: My feyonce is definitely not chilling

You mean fiancé? Ma’am, I need you to have a seat \_ and get acquainted with a dictionary.

31. RT: @DarthKlaus: I swear some of you females of extra over these Lewisboutons, they’re only fucking heels.

Christian ain’t slave away in them factories for you to give someone named Lewis credit for his work. HE AIN’T.

Lewbuttons. Are those orange bottoms??? This is why some folks can’t have nice things. At all.

32. RT @TheKidSeanMac: Having TRUE “passion” is the key to Long Jeverdy

Long what now? Ok sir. O_O

33. RT: @Genenne: I coin myself the cereal monogamoust. I’ve dealt with 3 men in the last 3 years.

Lemme find out she’s been messing with Tony the Tiger and Toucan Sam. (-__-)

34. 

Is “klamidia” what Kappas get? No shade because I don’t e’em… aight. 

35. RT: @RonnyCartel: I’m pretty sure my grandma has die of beaties.

*sigh* Not diabetes but “die of beaties.” Some of God’s children are losing at this English life.

36. RT @MrStrapless: R.I.P Biggie…best rapper alive

But wait… (._.)

37. 

 Sequence dresses. Sir…

38. RT @ATrain314: its SICKER cell u idiot. RT @RazorRamon: Does TBoz still have single cell?

I’ont e’em know who loses the most, the correcter or the first fool.

39. RT @Da_eXception: Love spelled backwards is evol (evolve)

Except it isn’t. WOMP.

40.

I just need Jesus to hold my mule! *wall slide*

41. RT @Chip_Goon: Our joodishal system is awful.

So is your spelling.

42. RT @SmokinWithINK: I always wondered how obeast people shaved under their arms.

Obeast people. Ma’am…

43.

Girl… (-___-)

44. RT @ATL_princess: jus got an A in summer term!!! Told yall I had poetinchal

Somebody gotta show me some receipts because she needs more people. Poetinchal. Ma’am…

45. RT @CEO_Fangs2: W.I.F.E. = We In This Forever.

W.I.T.F.: What in the f*ck? Fail.

46. 

ufwegorewijrpgpreowfke. Bury me in a #sequence #alphet, for I AM SLAYED. 

47. RT: @IamthaBizzness: Benny Honda’s got some popping ass food.

Benny Honda’s. Where’s THAT at? Oh. She means Benihana’s. iCan’t.

48. RT: @WheresKatStacks: 6 + 0 = 6, 6 x 6 = 12, 12 + 2000 = 2012. Epic, right?

WUT? O_O

49.

If Johnny don’t go sit his simple ass somewhere. He needs to go #OccupyASeat. Raggelly theory.

50. RT: @monty588: This restaurant got a real nice umbeyonce.

Who runs the world??? UMBEYONCE! “Ambiance” is the word. iQuit though. I’m tired. Good day.

So… there goes my list of the 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2011. If you know any of the people on this list in real life, pull them to the side and ask them if they need tutoring. I’m sure they can get the help they need. Or tell them to pay attention to that red squiggly line that is only there to save us from ourselves.

Tomorrow, I have ONE last post for you. The 20 Dumbest CELEBRITY Tweets of 2011, featuring Tyrese, who’ll make up at least half of it. So come back one more time for that.

I’d like to #PayAmish to Oxford for slaving over candlelight to create the dictionary we should all use to ensure our correct English. Putting this list together has given me #CarpetTunnel but I’ma do it again next year. To celebrate being done though, I’ll go to #BennyHondas, since the #Umbeyonce is nice. Although they don’t have #FlamingYoung there, I might opt for some #SeizureSalad. I don’t do #HammyDowns so I’ma rock a fancy #Sequence #Alphet with #Lewisbuttons and slay all the hoes.

Visit DumbestTweets.com and see the “25 Dumbest Tweets of 2010” from last year.

Soooo… which fail tweet is the biggest fail? 

Follow @luvvieig

Related posts:

1. The 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2011. Part 1
2. The 20 Dumbest Celebrity Tweets of 2011
3. The 25 Dumbest Tweets of 2010
4. Luvvie’s 2011 VMAs Live-Tweets Party
5. Luvvie’s BET Awards 2011 Live-Tweets Party

So, having 1,000 tweets to pick from this time made it hard to just do 25 dumbest. This year, I gotta do 50. And deciding which 50 I went with was soooo tough. So, here’s the first 25, in no particular order of foolishness:

50 Dumbest Tweets of 2011: First 25

1.

Alphet. ALPHET. This tweet has changed how I say “outfit” in real life. And I’m not pleased. But I am hella amused.

2. RT @PatPreezy: A tear is 1% water, 99% feelings

This tweet is 100% foolish. Sir, go have a seat. He must be tryna write songs for Drake. WOMP.

3. RT @cmaysphoto: Man A’s colored Benz. I pull miracle whips.

Wait. WAYMENT. “Man A’s” is supposed to be Mayonnaise??? iQuit. I can’t e’em…

4.

How many errors can be in ONE tweet??? Oxford didn’t create his dictionary by candlelight for folks to come through and disrespect the English language like this!

5. RT @JoJo831: My hand hurts I think I have carpet tunnel

RT @EastSideKris: I got carpool tunnel

This CARPAL tunnel struggle is real out here.

6. RT @stephieM_xoxo_: I wanna do something that 90% mental Nd 40% physical

SEE?? She’s a go-getter. 130% is how she lives her life! Get like her! (-__-)

7. RT @_FlockaZulu: She rite. I luh me some Fillay minyon

RT @ExclusiveAccess: I normally only eat Filet Menion but this lemon grass steak at #StraitsATL. SMH #awesome

RT @Dash_tv: you think that hoe fila ming yong but she’s churches chicken… #ha

Filet mignon doesn’t deserve this. People need to just stick to eating what they can spell. I’ont wanna eat anything “flaming” unless they’re cheetos.

8. RT @gtrain88 June 31, 2010. I’ll forever remember that date.

February 31, 2011. It was also memorable for me. O_O

9.

No. *EYE* need to be taken higher for this. If you can’t spell “silhouette” you better say “shadow!” Lawd…

10. RT @NaeYouCrazyy My dads son is sexy tho

You mean your brother? Oh. Ok. (-___-)

11. RT @BrentniBillionz: Why are the MySpace hoes & bitches on tumblr? Yall not supposed to upgrade your down grades and hammy downs. 

“Hammy downs.” Not “hand me downs” but “hammy.” I’m tired.

12.

He musta painted it right before the Titanic went down. o_O

13. RT @belliott404 Receipting hairline with cornrows #thataintwinning

A receipting hairline must be edges with proof of purchase. Oh. That ain’t it? Aight then. (-___-)

14.

So Casey was rocking borrowed jewelr… Wait. This fool means “Jury.” iCan’t. And iWon’t.

15.

*counts on fingers* *carries the one* *multiplies by 2* Wait… WHAT??? Ma’am…

16. RT @markellmommy: Who tryna lick my click?

No one wants to lick your remote, ma’am! Oh you mean… Girl STOP! (-___-)

17. RT @SheAHotMama: OMG, this is the best seizure salad ever…

I don’t even wanna know what is in a “seizure salad.” I prefer CAESAR salads. O__O

18. 

Pay amish? Do they accept PayPal or…?

19. RT @Mr845Himself: What of I told y’all I had a low self coincidence. 

What “of” we told him we believed it? “Low self coincidence” is something I don’t want. I’m confident of that. O_O

20. 

As she tweets from an iPhone. OK GIRL. O_O

21. RT: @kayjizzle: How far is GA from Atlanta?

RT: @Envy_kristen: I never new Las Vegas was in Nevada

RT: @meelie94: Does Africa have a capital?

RT @jacaristar: I can’t wait to visit the great state of chicago.

*starts a petition for Geography classes to be reinstated in schools everywhere*

22.

“Mini pulse” though. I don’t e’em… I DON’T HAVE TIME.

23. RT @therealpinkyXXX: #agoodboyfriend is an endangered spices

Like the rarest of nutmegs. (-___-)

24. 

But Illinois is more of a loner. I heard Cali gets the party started though.

25.

If you don’t succeed, try again. And FAIL the second time too. Who knew “hypocrites” was so hard to spell?

I really shake my head at this stupidity that happens on Twitter. Failed logic and spelling is rampant. The schools are failing us all.

So yes, this is just part 1. Here’s part 2 of the 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2011. Getchu a piece of those too!

Oh, and Tyrese isn’t on the list for a reason. If I had included him on this list, he’d make up at least 10 of the tweets. So I decided to do a 25 Dumbest Celebrity Tweets list too, to come later this week.

Check out the DumbestTweets.com. Updated almost daily with the dumbest tweets that we see on Twitter as they happen. You can also submit the dumb tweets you see there.

Which is your favorite out of these FAILS? Do you follow or know someone who ended up on this list? 

Follow @luvvieig

Related posts:

1. The 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2011. Part 2
2. The 20 Dumbest Celebrity Tweets of 2011
3. The 25 Dumbest Tweets of 2010
4. Luvvie’s BET Awards 2011 Live-Tweets Party
5. Luvvie’s 2011 VMAs Live-Tweets Party

People were sending messages to the person they don’t like telling them how much they hate them. Folks were letting their crushes know that they wanted to have their babies. Some folks were pasting messages they received as their statuses, and asking publicly who it was (like the person was gonna confess and be treated right there). It was nothing but drama, and the people who created the app wanted that. They had to. Honesty Box was like giving folks a loaded gun and expecting them not to shoot. Folks shot point blank range.

HB messages came color-coded too. If the message was from a girl, it’d be in a pink box, and blue if from a guy. And some messages were in gray, which apparently stood for “I don’t want you to know my sex.” When someone sent you a message, you could reply back to them, so some became full-fledged conversations.

I got a bunch of messages myself. Shockingly enough, only 1 or 2 were bad and they were from girls. Someone called me dramatic (*clutches pearls* WHO ME?!?!? *faints*) and I can’t recall the other. I might have deleted it. A good bulk of my messages were from guys saying they had crush on me. Who’da thunk it? I was so reg’lah so I wasn’t expecting that. But the college me was all “Check me out with my secret admirer swag!”

I sent a couple of Honesty Box messages out, like “You’re REALLY cute! And you have a nice body.” I’m a lame. I usually divulged who I was by the 2nd message though. I wasn’t too much about the secret life. Besides, I was also paranoid that one day, HB was gonna have a glitch and reveal the message senders so I kept that in mind. I didn’t tell anyone I hated ‘em or anything. Although I did tell someone that… wait. She might be reading this blog. YOU ALMOST HAD ME!

Last night, I went on Facebook and signed into Honesty Box for the first time in YEARS to pull some of these messages I got from the fellas. These are some verbatim:

“If i could have you for a day, I would make your toes curl in pleasure. You are so sexy.”

Sir… I don’t do such things. NO I DO NOT, MOM!!!

“you could so get it, my nubian queen.”

Tyrese, I think you’re hot too but take me out first.

“I’m in luv with you, but just dont know how to tell you.”

The fact that this man is spelling love “luv” means I wouldn’t e’em want him to tell me who he was.

Anyway, I think I deactivated my Honesty Box like 6 months after getting it originally. And I’d sign in intermittently. Turns out that once you activated it, people can send you messages even after deactivating. Because when I’d sign in, I’d see a new message.

Oh Honesty Box…

Do you remember it? Did you find out someone wanted you to get them pregnant? Did your archnemesis come for your head? Tell me. Let’s reminisce.

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1. Dear Facebook, Stop It with the Changes
2. Facebook is Not Charging Folks! Have a SEAT!
3. Facebook Ad FAIL
4. Oregon Trail is Now On Facebook. iLIVE!!!
5. They Got Facebook In Jail? This Inmate’s Profile Says Yes

Here lies Luvvie...

There is nothing funny about death but *howls like a wolf at the full moon*

Whoever @KingLewie is ain’t about that life AT ALL!! I feel so bad for laughing SO HARD at this. But I laughed so hard tears fell.

I’ma start telling folks “Nah I’m lying. But follow me on Twitter tho @Luvvieig” anytime I wanna take something back.

“Luvvie, you going to the event?”
“Yea!”
“Ok good. See you there!”
“Nah I’m messing with you. Follow me on Twitter tho.”

Chile… I love King Lewie a lil bit and I’ont e’em know who he is. I might need to follow him now because he is clearly ratchet as hell. Well, possibly TOO ratchet but he currently has a fan for this. Yes, this was an asshole move but I’ll be dambed if I didn’t holler like a senseless fool. I feel bad. I am part of the problem.

And poor Dave’s friend.

Am I wrong for laughing? Who else *yell laughed* before they could catch themselves?

P.S. Check out my latest piece on Clutch Magazine called “Dear Fellas: 7 Ways to Piss Of Single Women“

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* Facebook – It would be the asshole quarterback on the football team who is extremely popular even though he breaks school rules and walks the halls like he owns it. He never gets punished for cutting class, and even though he cheats on exams (and teachers know it), he still passes. He’s got way too much charisma for folks to resist. Voted: Most popular.

* Twitter – This is the school gossip and head cheerleader. She’s very popular too and she dates Facebook on and off. They’re a power couple but both of them are too dramatic so they never stay together for long. She knows everyone’s business and makes it her business to spread it. Her information is not always accurate but folks sure do stop at her locker everyday to find out who/what/when of the school. Voted: Biggest Flirt.

* Tumblr – This is the cool kid who smokes cigarettes behind the gym. He gets along with most people but is always scheming and being sneaky. If you need some answers to a test beforehand, go to him and he’ll pretty much have it. He’s the dude who spikes the punch at the high school dance. Voted: Most Likely to End Up a Felon

* MySpace – This is the 19-year old sophomore. He’s been held behind so much that no one is actually sure when he’ll graduate. He walks the halls and freshmen wonder what class he teaches because he has a full beard. When he first got to school, he was popular. Then he started getting in trouble constantly and failing classes. Everyone just watches him because they’re concerned for him. His father left him (Tom) and he now has to fend for himself. Voted: Well, he isn’t a senior so he isn’t in the yearbook votes.

* LinkedIn – This is the class AND student council president. This kid is all business all the time. She’s the one who already has all her college applications filled out by August. Of her junior year. She’s in Advanced Placement classes and is graduating with honors. She also comes to school sometimes in a slacks and a button up. Voted: Most likely to succeed

* Instagram – This is the Audio/Visual kid. He feels way more important than he is. He helps the teachers operate their projectors and helps to produce the school plays. He’s in the Drama club too and usually wants to play lead. He sucked as Romeo in the fall musical though. Voted: Most Dramatic.

* FourSquare – This kid is everywhere and does everything. He plays 3 sports and is on the executive board of like 5 school clubs. He has medals (badges) in all those sports too. He doesn’t have time to party because of all his extracurricular activities but he’s still pretty popular. Voted: Most likely to become a millionaire by 21 and Most School Spirit.

* BlackPlanet – This is the pregnant chick who walks the halls and everyone judges. Not because she’s pregnant but because she used to sleep with the whole football team after practice. Folks think she just needs a mentor. Others think she’s a lost cause. She’s going to an alternative school next semester. Voted: Most likely to be on Teen Mom

* Google Plus – This is the new kid in school who everyone likes but can’t quite figure out. Facebook is jealous of him and is trying to dress like him now. Folks notice it but wonder why FB is so touched. Voted: Most Charismatic

So yes, I know I got too much time on my hands. What do you think? Do my descriptions makes sense? Am I missing any important networks? Tell a G.

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No. Just NO. This is false as hell. And I replied under some of them with “This is false” until I got tired of it. And I really kind of want to dropkick everyone who posted this.

Why would Facebook start charging money??? Do folks not realize that what makes Facebook so profitable is that it’s free? And we’re ALL willingly giving them information on ourselves, our lives, our habits and our whole way of existing? Facebook is the world’s biggest and most accurate focus group, so advertisers flock to it. Facebook makes a lot of money with those ads on the sidebars. They don’t need your rinky dinky $6.99 a month. They do not.

AND why would posting a janky status be the way to opt out? Folks, we have logic and reasoning FOR A REASON! Can we start using it?

The internet is great for passing on information really fast but rumors spread even faster. And no one does their own research anymore, when it’s as simple as GOOGLE. We’re all playing this game of telephone when the person who STARTED the game has the wrong information. I just want to ask everyone to make Google (and logic) their friend sometimes.

Don’t repost everything that makes you jump out your seat. Or fist pump. Once in a while, find out if it’s true. And this is a note for ME too, because I also do it sometimes. I gotta start double checking because these interwebs are full of wrong info.

But yes, everyone who posted that Facebook status, please go have a seat \__ \__. And for the people who ARE posting it in your newsfeeds, tell them to go take a nap. Say I sent you. Kthxbye.

Am I the only one annoyed by this?

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5. Dear Facebook, Stop It with the Changes

Dear Facebook, STOP IT!

You do this EVERY TIME! Every. single. time. You make a huge change, we complain and then get used to it. Then when we settle into that change, you go and do a massive overhaul and have us re-learning your website. And like the robots you’ve turned us all into, we stay and go “Sir, yes sir.” We’re all part of the problem.

Y’all just changed how messages appeared like last month. And then offered folks to have FB email addresses. O_O I’ll be dambed if I’m telling folks to email me at luvvie@facebook.com. That ain’t my portion! No thanks. Now you’ve made this big change to newsfeeds and the homepage. The right sidebar now scrolls with instant updates from friends. I don’t even know where to look. This redesign is a site for people with ADD. I’m over here looking like a junkie because my eyes keep running everywhere on the website. WHERE CAN I FOCUS?!?

I really wish I could quit you, Facebook. Times like this, I realize my dependence on this social network. My fan page is there, which has to be connected to a personal page. Years of pictures and comments are there. Friends and acquaintances who I’d like to keep up with but don’t have any other form of contact with them… I admit my dependence and I’m kinda mad about it. I WANT TO LEAVE! But they got me chained up.

You stay doing the most. I know you’re trying to compete with Google+ now. Your envy is showing. Kindly tuck it in. Google+ got you nervous. But these changes are what will chase more folks away. I know you’re #1 and unfuckwitable but ummm… I spend less and less time in Facebook now and this shall continue.

This is why I spend most of my time on Twitter and Tumblr. Well, I hate New Twitter too so that’s a different story for another day. Either way… Stop it. Let us be great and stop doing THE MOST with the least!

I’m bout sick of you and your new features. Tell your developers to go take a nap! Dang!

Yours in Hmphing,

Have you seen the newest Facebook change? Do you like it? Tell a G.

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