Politics

Scaramucci Got Fired from The White House, Which is Now a Temp Agency

It’s like the real-life Celebrity Apprentice in Washington, DC right now and it is just a clusterfuck over there. The Cheeto Satan White House got more turnover than a waffle maker. The latest casualty in Mango Mussolini’s administration is Anthony Scaramucci, who only lasted 10 DAYS before he got the ax. …

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Politics

The Pope Meeting The Trumps is All Of Us

This international tour that Cantaloupe Caillou is on will not stop providing moments of memes. It will not stop reminding us that we (well, yall. I know who I voted for) have elected Sunburned Stalin to represent us all on the global stage and it is the biggest mistake ever …

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Melania donald trump
Politics

Melania Trump is Still Wack But Her Hand Holding Block Game is Strong

In these times, we must find joy in the most unlikely places. Because half the time I’m just praying for the beast with no neck that the book of Revelations promised us to come down and end the misery of Donald Trump the Shitstain of Life running this place. In …

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Trumpcare Republicans
Politics

Because Those Who Voted for Trumpcare Deserve Petty Prayers

Last week, the hapless hoodlums who make up the House Republicans voted to pass the American Healthcare Act (AHCA) aka Trumpcare. If you have a pre-existing condition, insurance companies are not required to cover you, and if they cover you, they can charge you thousands of dollars for simple treatments. …

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CulturePolitics

A Handy Guide to Disrespecting Cheeto Satan From Inauguration and Beyond

In 2 days, the mascot of white supremacy and proof that God sometimes rushes through the creation process, Donald Trump, will be sworn in as president of the United States. And the four horsemen of the apocalypse will ride in as Jesus emerges behind them with a whip and proceeds to …

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CulturePolitics

I’m Not Playing Nice with Donald Trump

A week ago, the United States of America reminded the world that is has a lot of stupid people in it. And a lot of people who would put their race over their genders because they’ve internalized patriarchy. And a lot of people who are raging racists. And a lot …

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CulturePolitics

About the Heartbreak of America’s Choice

I forced myself to go to sleep around 1am. I wanted to keep hope, even for 5 more hours. I can usually find bright spots in situations. There are none for me here. I feel doomed. I wanted to wake up this morning celebrating the first woman president. Instead, I …

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Politics

About the Election from Hell and Why I Voted for Hillary Clinton

I voted 2 weeks ago, when early voting started in Chicago. I was in and out in 30 minutes, and I cast my vote for Hillary Clinton to be President, with Tim Kaine as her Vice-President. One thing down, so many more to go. I am exhausted, because this election …

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Politics

I Survived the First Presidential Debates (Barely) with Clinton vs. Trump

Last night was the first presidential debate that put Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump behind podiums and let them hash it out on various issues. As the presidential nominees for their respective parties, it was their job to state their platforms and bring their plans to the table. As the Miss Benita …

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Malik Obama Donald Trump
Politics

Malik Obama is An Enemy of Progress

Everything is weird and the world is ridiculous. Malik Obama, President Barack Obama’s estranged half-brother who lives in Kenya is in the news for his endorsement in this election. Speaking from Kogelo, your uncle has let the world know that even though he is a longtime Democrat, he will be …

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