Because Those Who Voted for Trumpcare Deserve Petty Prayers
Last week, the hapless hoodlums who make up the House Republicans voted to pass the American Healthcare Act (AHCA) aka Trumpcare. If you have a pre-existing condition, insurance companies are not required to cover you, and if they cover you, they can charge you thousands of dollars for simple treatments. …
Serena Williams is All Of Us. If We Got Superpowers.
You know what I don’t have time for? Serena Williams and her perpetual showing that some of us are just mere mortals while she’s a citizen of Mount Olympus. Actually, lemme quit lying. I GOT ALL THE TIME FOR IT. That woman is extraordinary. Sheesh. Yesterday, we found out that …
Whose Sneaker Heel Mules Are These?
In case you ever dreamed of owning sneaker heel mules that don’t make any sense, there are now some Pumas that will make your dream come true. I present to you, the most confusing shoes I’ve seen in at least a year. #WhyItHappenFathaGawd #BurnEmBoaz #EndThemEmmanuel. Anywho, I posted them on …
I’m YoungOld and So Are You
One of my favorite people, Samantha Irby, always talks about how old she is. Last week was her birthday, so in honor of the day the world got slightly less shitty, I had to tell people how old I am. I’m “If I wear heels out in public, I got …
SECURITY!!! Rachel Dolezal is Back With Her Shenanigans in the Form of a Book
Your unfavorite undercover sista Rachel Dolezal is back to tap dance on our collective last nerves. Atticus’ mama (yes, y’all) is releasing a book next year titled In Full Color: Finding My Place in a Black and White World. Many of us saw the cover and thought it was a meme. …
Whose Petty Royalty Aunties Are These, Arguing Til They Passed Out?
According to the South China Morning Post, “Two women in Northwest China fainted from exhaustion after quarreling with each other for eight hours without eating or drinking, according to local media reports.” And there was picture evidence of it. And I laughed so hard that I almost choked on spit. …
Because the Only Thing Chip Readers are Good For is Embarrassing Us
Remember when chips were placed on our credit and debit cards? And financial institutions were all excited because this would make checking out much faster? And we were like “but I’m fine putting in my pin” and they were all “NO NO NO you are not. That takes too long …
Mama Bolt’s Disappointment is Universal Mom Love Language
There is no one who can bring you down to Earth better and quicker than your own mother. It seems that once you have a child, your shade savant abilities triples, and your gift of petty is enhanced. From the way moms can cut that look that will quickly make …
Whose Blasphemous Kool-Aid Chicken Wings Are These?
There are times when I just KNOW that the devil is busier than a toddler when they first learn how to walk and they’re discover the real purpose of feet. I was minding everyone’s business and scrolling through Facebook when I stumbled upon the pic below, posted by NoWayGirl. I did …
Uncle Bernie’s Hair was LAID at the DNC
Y’all know good and damb well that Bernie Sanders be leaving the house looking like he just got out from inside a dryer’s spin cycle. Hair be everywhichway and suit all wrinkled. He was on the campaign trail looking like you did after a particularly TURNT recess period. But last …