The Rock’s Fetching Fanny Pack and Titilating Turtleneck: Throwback Thursday
The 90s were hilarious because everyone loved extra accessories for no reason whatsoever. An old picture of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has been floating around the web this week and it is giving me everything I want and never thought I needed!
I DON DIE! This whole gahtdamb look! WHY MUST I CRY?!? Let’s just go from the top to the bottom. First, there’s the haircut, which is the classic high top fade, except since The Rock got some tender hair, it looks like half a jheri curl. He didn’t even have to use activator either. Don’t jealous him. (-__-)
Then this titilating turtleneck that are housing all them muscles. WHO NEEDS A SCARF WHEN YOUR NECK STAYS PROTECTED? Not him, surely. Where did he find a turtleneck that didn’t choke that thickness of his, doe? Was it specially ordered? I need to know his suppliers.
And then we move to the figaro choker chain. The 90s accessories game was NOT a game! I be tryna tell yall. I bet that was 18K gold too. Nothing less for such a fox.
The winner of this alphet is the fanny pack. I AM SLAYED BY THE LEATHER FANNY PACK! It is the winner of everything. I love how he has his right thumb tucked behind it, though. See? Fanny packs are the gifts that keep on giving because they give you something to do with your hand. And they allow you to store 3 quarters and your house keys. DASSIT.
We not e’em gon talk about them jeans. *cues Ginuwine’s “In Those Jeans.”* Light and stonewashes were all we knew in them 90s. Bless us all.
Look at this sexy flexy summabeesh, though. I’m here for him, his turtleneck of glory and his fanimorous fanny pack. Folks say he looks like a butch lesbian and I HOWLED to the blue-corned moon.
This picture of him at the ESPYs with the caption made me cackle too. Not only is he FAHN but he got a sense of humor.
"Cause every girls crazy bout a sharp dressed man.." #ESPYS2014 #LA #NoFannyPacks pic.twitter.com/QGd3j0aj55
— Dwayne Johnson (@TheRock) July 17, 2014
He’s gonna make me marry him. Hey boo heyyy.
Are yall jealousing Dwayne’s swag? Admit it. You want a piece. OWWW!
*comes back* Dang. I didn’t talk about the bracelet. You know real Gs rocking chain and bracelet combos. I bet he had an anklet too. We just didn’t see it. WERK!
It is time to write that book. Come into The Book Academy and learn how to go from IDEA to INK.
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39 Comments
I definitely want a piece. But I suspect the line behind me is going to be exceedingly long.
Amen! Starting with me first!
BEHIND you?
I been waitin’ on this herre since, like, ’92. BACK UP.
Dwayne woulda got it then…and now…
A piece? Nawl, I need #alladatdere. That make is every degree of FAHN. #SWOON
You did not mention the single gold earring and the bracelet to match that fabulous chain. He is serving all types of Taylor has two moms with this fanny pack
#werk
Luvvie I love just love you. I may get fired for the laughter but at this point it is worth it….
Every since I saw the picture I was waiting for Luvvie to address it! Yes Dwayne is definitely 90s foine! He is up there with my Christopher Williams and Al B Sure! Wish list because I love me a light skinned pretty boi!!! Yassss!
Yah but Chris & Al left they fine behind! Rock hefted his into the present day and challenged us all to look back at it! Loves <3
“…except since The Rock got some tender hair, it looks like half a jheri curl. He didn’t even have to use activator either. Don’t jealous him.”
I am VANQUISHED.
Y’all don’t see how that left thigh is trying desperately to get from beneath the yoke of those mom jeans!
And get into that smirk that says “Yeah, I use this high-top scurl to hide my male pattern baldness, and it’s definitely hot as hell in this turtleneck; but you still want me, I know you do which is why this fanny pack is full of condoms, fruit stripes gum, and my 3 month old Tomogatchi.”
Lord, not the Tomogatchi too!
I have gone on to glory, and my spirit is typing this. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
NOT FRUUT STRIPE GUM!!!
Honorable Mention is that Napkin!!! He knew he waa looking good. He didn’t want to get that elbow dirty.
*was
YESS!!! I saw that like Ooooh he stuntin!!
“Look at this sexy flexy summabeesh, though. I’m here for him, his TURTLENECK OF GLORY and his FANIMOROUS FANNY PACK.”
You tryna have me fired!!!
Tender Hair won!!! Tresses so supple neither Aquanet nor that Jermaine Jackson grade shellac could hold it!!!
#restrinpieces dying laughing…..90’s Dewayne Johnson could get it……rockybaby could get it….the people’s champ….Hercules alladem could have it on a silver platter with fine china and a crisp white linen napkin!
I’m just here for the comments. I got all of my life with these!
He had the same hair as that fake Bobby Brown, only better, and that smirk was to let us know his FAHN was only just beginning to move from its infancy to full blown “panty-dropping, drool inducing, make me want to move to Samoa to find his relatives, let me hold you with these here biceps that are thick as your leg” perfection.
Did you see the sunglasses tucked in the pocket behind the fanny pack?
Oh emm gee…I can just imagine the superlative smoothness with which he donned those fine spectacles.
Also, my Army recruiter looked like him.
Speaking of sunglasses, who remembers
“B-lue B-lockers, Mm!”
Oh Dwayne been fine since way back in the day when he was playing for the University of Miami. He is giving a little buffed KD Lang realness here, but it worked for him. That is an all-knowing smirk right there.
Buffed KD Lang realness….I’m getting fired
today….
I just want to see the rear view.
Also, two words: big hands.
3 words: size 14 shoe.
I have a 6’4 husband so you knows I can testify ’bout the size 14 shoes *wink* The thing that got me looking at that man was a picture of his hands on his knees.
He was so cute back then. And he’s super hot in the present, (though I prefer my men thinner).
I am going to tweet this post, Luvvie. Hopefully, he’ll see it.
My dream in life is to be the meat in between a Dwayne Johnson/Jason Momoa sammich. But there’s so much meat there already that I’d happily accept being the lettuce, tomato, or even the cheese. I’ll bring the mayo.
Lordt. You went there. #dead
Scoots over next to you … get.out.of.my.head.
Those two are my #SamoanStud boos. I’d take both of them.
Sidenote: Had a dream about them two plus the other #SamoanStud
Troy P who plays for the Steelers.
I tweeted him that I need that fanny pack. I am sure it ended up at the Goodwill 20 years ago, but there’s always hope!
I’mma take this picture to the MAC counter and have them find me a gloss in the same exact color of those tender lips. Dayum, dayum, dayum, dayum, Dwayne!
The weakness occurred the moment I read, “Why must I cry?”…That’s when I turned off the ‘puter and called it a day.
You are everything that is.
Ah man! I’ve been crushing on him since The Scorpion King. He looks too much like my baby brother in this 90s throwback. Nu-uh! *shivers* He looks so much better now and nothing like my brother.
PS: I did the fanny pack thing on a trip to France thought, it would keep my money safe. What a waste of time, I needed a handbag to carry everything else.