An Ode to WetSeal

Folks been writing poems lately, and tonight I was spurred to write one of my own. Yes it’s crappy 🙂

*Clears Throat and begins dramatic gestures*

An Ode to WetSeal

Oh WetSeal, WetSeal
Oh how I loved you so
Why did you go the other way?
You suck now, the reason why I don’t know

First it was the ponchos
Then it was the plastic boots
Then it was the pleather
And when I walk in, bullets my eyes shoot
At the lack of anything but bogus trends
I shake my head and pretend
That it was what it used to be
But all I can get from there are the baby tees

Oh WetSeal, Dear WetSeal
Oh how I loved you so
I walked in there last week, and what do I see?
A dress with flowers, dots and stripes
And I had to scream “Yikes!”
Then some Peep Toe
Shoes that looked from the dollar store
And I ran away thinking “I ain’t going in there no more!”

Tonight, I go on the site
Then what came upon MY sight??
But a pair of shorts, gold and shiny
And also quite tiny
I screamed and shout
And sat there and pout(ed)
Because I knew what was thrust upon me
Would be worn by some dummy
But when I see her and I tackle
Oh the worth, of that debacle
And when I whoop the ass of the fashion slave
Oh please be brave
And come up w/ my bail
For I will have landed in jail
But hopefully not before I am enslaved by a chick named Bubba

Oh WetSeal, WetSeal,
What happened to thee?
We used to be such friends,
Now you are my worst enemy
Of fashion you slaughter
But it will be no bother
For me to stand up for what I believe
Is your scheme to deceive
The youth of American into thinking
Your crappy threads are worth wearing

A war is coming
One of extreme severity
Waged upon a store
And more se’ous than THE VD
For my eyes shall suffer
Because of the crap they offer
I shake my fist and vigorously too

AAAAANNNNDDDD SCENE!!!! *Takes a bow and makes dramatic exit*

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1 Comment

  1. VerbFashion
    March 25, 2009 at 11:39 am


    how could no one comment on this? This is effin’ hilarious! Wet Seal is NOT an option anymore EVER!!!