iCan’t with Popeye’s

I very seldom do Saturday posts, and I know I’ve been a blogging fool this week. I usually only do 3 updates a week, but I’ve done 5, and this is my 6th. I had to write this one though because it’s so ridiculous that I can’t ignore it. Plus, Aliya requested, and when writing royalty asks, one answers.

So Tuesday was a nationwide sale at Popeye’s, where you could get an 8-piece for $4.99. I heard about the deal while on Twitter on Monday, and off the bat, I knew that NO good could come from what is basically a chicken clearance.

Stereotypes be d*mned. Black folk LOVE us some fried chicken! Popeye’s on April 22nd was considered off limits to me. For good reason too. By Tuesday evening, there were infinite nationwide reports of mayhem, madness and mass mania. Popeye’s everywhere had lines that were longer than DMX’s rap sheet. This, of course, led to some Popeye’s running outta chicken. But really though. How much chicken could be enough in that instance?

I “love that chicken from Popeye’s” but in the words of a wiseeee woman, “It ain’t worth it, Ms. Celie. It ain’t worth it!” – Miss Sofia

Police intervention was even needed in some places because a bunch of fights broke out. Popeye’s ain’t supposed to turn to “Fight Club”. First rule of Popeye’s, we do NOT talk about chicken. 2nd rule... The last time Black folks ain’t fought this hard, it was 1963 and it involved dogs, water and cops we called “Whitey”.

Don’t get me wrong now. I stan for Popeye’s wings and biscuits in all their greasy, artery-clogging glory. But I’ll be d*mned to the pits of Mama Tina’s Dressing Room Hades to be trampled to death at my young age for some poultry. Clearance on some FIERCE shoes? I just may risk my life. But not for no bird that’ll be gone in 30 seconds.

Then, Aliya sent me a link to this story, where one Popeye’s franchise in Minnesota didn’t participate in the $4.99/8 piece deal. Needless to say, people were LIVID. I did laugh at when the reporter pointed out that despite the deal not being offered, people still bought chicken. Iunno what he thought people were gonna be so outraged as to pass up some chicken in their lifespace? Naw. Chicken is recession-proof.

I’m convinced that this whole thing was Popeye’s fiasco was a ploy to ruin Black folk and laugh at us for at least a day. We acted a good fool too. iCan’t.

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  1. Jaddadalos
    April 25, 2009 at 7:31 am

    But it was the ONLY Popeye’s IN THE WHOLE STATE!

    Still a hot mess of a situation? Still a nation-wide minstrel show?

    Yea… Popeye’s on Earth Day? That was a back room, “Wouldn’t it be funny if…” moment that came to life.


  2. LibraSong
    April 25, 2009 at 9:56 am

    to take a page from the Luvvie Book of IG *the largest book possible* : Jeebus be a marketing team for Popeye’s and lead them not into mass outlet chicken stores but deliver them from chicken markdown prices.

    P.S. you HAVE been a blogging fool this week! now you done set the standards too high…we all expect 8 posts next week. lol

  3. Hostess
    April 26, 2009 at 10:03 pm

    This is a damned Dave Chappelle skit come to life. What’s next? Discounted Newports? Or what about a chicken, Newport, cognac happy meal of sorts?

    Jesus wept!

  4. suga
    May 3, 2009 at 1:08 am

    Since I was (and still am) on a diet, I campaigned against Popeye’s crispy, spicy goodness and told everyone that I could that it was all a conspiracy to make 5 million Black people fall asleep at the same time due to the ‘itis.