My Life

I am a Walking Contradiction

“Getting Re-acquainted with Luvvie” Week continues. With that being said, I must admit that I’m a walking contradiction. I’m a paradox and a conundrum all wrapped up in a discrepancy. Why? Well, let me tell you.

spy-vs-spyiSpy on myself

*My avatar winks, but iCan’t. – Yes y’all. I admit it. My avatar is my EVERYTHING and it’s a quarter lie. It’s all cute winking at y’all all coyly and flirtyly as I look on in envy. See, that’s because I can’t wink to save my life. Whenever I try, people always get concerned and start trying to blow in my eye, talmbout “What is it? An eyelash?” As I try to wrestle them off to say “I’m fine. I was just winking.” Then usually, they look at me all pitifully and say “Oh. Well, you coulda warned me.” So yeah, I let my avatar wink in my honor.

*I love the kiddies but I hate touching pregnant stomachs – Kids (especially really cute ones) make me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. However, I’ont dig them until I can SEE them. I don’t know why but I don’t like touching the tummies of preggo people. I mean, do I rub it gently? Am I supposed to poke it like the Pillsbury doughboy? What if I rub it too hard??? iCan’t. The entire time my BFF was preggo with my Goddaughter, I think I touched her stomach once. It just freaks me out. If the baby kicks while I’m touching, I may try to fight back or something. My nerves are bad. It’s too much pressha!

*I’m a thug who is starting to be all girly (liking nail polish, like color pink, have feelings) – Until recently (within the last year), I had a bad habit of chewing my nails. I stopped and now, they are super long. Well, now I paint them all types of cute colors and stuff. When did this thug start wearing anything other than “clear” on my nails? THUGS don’t groom!!! Then to top it off, I refused to wear pink for YEARS because it was just too girly. It reminded me of cotton candy and newborn babies and thugs don’t care for such cutesies. Well, recently, I looked in my closet and *sigh* I have PINK in there. And I like it *gasp*. Thugs don’t rock pink (unless you’re Cam’ron. Wait. He’s not a thug. I will find better example). Now, I got like four shades of Pank (yes, pank) and stuff in my wardrobe. How did I get here???

*Yuppie who hates museums – I’m young, smart (at least according to the ACTs & my Mama) and an urban dweller. But, invite me to a day at the museum and watch as I come up with an excuse about why I can’t make it, including “I would but, I doubt they’d enjoy me napping on their nicely waxed floors”. Museums bore me to PIECES! I can only stare at a painting for about 45.6 secs before I get distracted and my mind wanders. The only museum I am willing to go is the Museum of Science & Industry, and that’s because they have the Harry Potter exhibit GREAT information on scientific things shiny things that make noise .

I’m way more contradictory but sleep calls me I must go attend to some important business.

I hope I’m not the only one that’s more mismatched than polka dots and floral print, crackheads and teeth or Lil Wayne and showers.. Come onnnn, share with me! We family here on AweLuv. And a family that roasts together, stays together.

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23 Comments

  1. Kindred Smile
    July 22, 2009 at 2:42 pm

    I've never seen you in pink. Summon your people.

    Also? I knew you never wanted to touch Piggy while she was still in the oven. It was heroic enough that you stayed at the hospital from start to finish. Love you more than Tiny loves her top lip!

  2. @myzdevyneone
    July 22, 2009 at 3:26 pm

    As usually you have murdered me…" hope I'm not the only one that's more mismatched than polka dots and floral print, crackheads and teeth or Lil Wayne & showers." EPIC! IDK if mismatched is strong enuf for what I am…bipolar maybe. Schizophrenic!?LOL I also and a former thug that has gone girly…I got mo dresses than pants…what thug do dat?!

  3. Tunde
    July 22, 2009 at 4:06 pm

    you have to check out the Smithsonian museum of space and flight. its so interesting. well i think all the Smithsonian museums are though so you might not want to listen to me. lol.

  4. Cheekie
    July 22, 2009 at 4:57 pm

    Luvvie, your comment box is denying me the right to co-sign you with a somewhat lengthy response… *pout*

  5. K to the...
    July 22, 2009 at 6:39 pm

    Here's some contradictions…somewhat:
    -I LOVE playing ball outdoors, but I HATE having dirty hands. So I hit up a water fountain and rinse them off after every game so my hands can be fresh for the next one. It's the girl in me…don't judge me!
    -I've always been a tomboy with a love for NIKEs. Well, my heels now outnumber my fresh kix (As I sit and plot on where I can get some cute purple heels for this weekend.)

  6. mcarter251
    July 22, 2009 at 7:21 pm

    I'm feel you on touching pregnancy belly. Never been my thing and it seem like you're to much in someone else's space.

  7. bogart4017
    July 22, 2009 at 7:42 pm

    You killed me with the cam'ron comment!!! I flat forgot about him.

  8. Luvvie
    July 22, 2009 at 7:48 pm

    LMAO!! I got pics of me in pink. U forever naysaying! Heffa!

    And LMAO @ Tiny's top lip. How can she loves something that looks so heavy? IDK o.0

  9. Luvvie
    July 22, 2009 at 7:48 pm

    LOL yeah I got hella dresses now. And their satin. This cant be my thug life!! I gotta go kick a teddy bear to get my thug back.

  10. Luvvie
    July 22, 2009 at 7:50 pm

    If a Museum has things besides paintings, I may be able to deal. Doesn't the Smithsonian have stuff hanging around it like historical airplanes? THAT I could handle. Just not no "And over here is Picasso's fave work." ZZzzzzzzzzz

  11. Luvvie
    July 22, 2009 at 7:51 pm

    You can leave ur long comment in 2 separate posts. Don't withhold your awesome tome of a comemnt from me b/c my comment box is a hater!!! :'(

  12. Luvvie
    July 22, 2009 at 7:51 pm

    Oooooo u got more heels than kicks now? Wowww Yes. We are losing all our thug-tivity. And umm, check out AKIRa for purple heels. Or Nine West. Or ALDO

  13. Luvvie
    July 22, 2009 at 7:52 pm

    OK! I feel like I'm invading folk's personal space by touching their pregoo belly. iCan't.

  14. Cheekie
    July 22, 2009 at 8:09 pm

    Sad news. I lost the original in the sea of internets. But the gist is that I used to hate pink as well and was a thuggish tomboy wearing Hilfiger baggy jeans and what not but I've gotten more girly starting with my sophmore year of high school. I felt weird wearing pink for the first time (I used to hate pink so much, I had a hit out on it) but the world didn't implode like I thought it would. So, I do rock pink now and dresses (I hated them then), but there is still a little tomboy in me as I live in jeans. They're just not as baggy anymore. 😉

    I know, I just smiled up there, but I'm sad again because that comment doesn't give my previous comment justice. I knew I shoulda copied and saved it. Eff my brain.

  15. Cheekie
    July 22, 2009 at 8:10 pm

    "I flat forgot about him. "

    So did music.

  16. Luvvie
    July 22, 2009 at 8:24 pm

    "I flat forgot about him"

    So did the world of relevance

  17. Beez
    July 22, 2009 at 9:25 pm

    I feel you on the baby thing. I once touched my friend's belly when she was pregnant with my godson, and that ish morphed b/c he moved to the other side. I stared with wide eyes as I asked her, "Did you know there's a little person inside of you… MOVING?!?"

    I'm now convinced that I'm invading the baby's personal space with that whole "caving in his room" thing. I can't wait 'til I have mine (in about 8 years).

  18. Lite Bread
    July 22, 2009 at 10:28 pm

    Most Beautiful Awesomelynessis Girl,
    You just KEEP askin’! So, whata I’m to do?! I can’t disappoint my fav e-Girl!
    But, I think you already know. I hit some of the big ones yesterday. And you read yer eva-hatin' friend KindredSmile, so ya, like "know".
    Me an' my (very) brown kiddie's, single-full time Dad(/mom) status an' all, make me a total life-Anomaly.
    I LOVE ta Run. Hate a treadmill (flew OFF one once. In front of a whole gym-load a folks. Maybe THAT’S why, huh?).
    I love to cycle. I hate a Spin-class (how can mi butt hurt after 5 minutes Indoors, but not after 5 hours outside?).
    I LOVE GP, World Superbike an’ all things motorcycle roadracing related. But haven’t owned a bike since my kids depended on me bein’, like, Alive. (Don’t tellem I got mega Life Insurance; worth more dead than … )
    PS. iLOVE the iSpy pic! And, YES, I’ve read the mag it all came from …

  19. amymay117
    July 23, 2009 at 4:35 am

    oh, my… I would love to be a girly girl, but I look WRONG in dresses, can't walk in heels and spend most of my life wearing scrubs and crocs… bleh… c'est la vie…

  20. Luvvie
    July 24, 2009 at 6:24 pm

    LMAO @ ""Did you know there's a little person inside of you… MOVING?!?" "

    Did she give u the side-eye when u asked her that?

  21. Luvvie
    July 24, 2009 at 6:25 pm

    *sigh* I heart my Litest Bread. This is why.

  22. Luvvie
    July 24, 2009 at 6:25 pm

    I'm sho u aint giivn urself enuff credit, Nurse Amy!

  23. amymay117
    July 27, 2009 at 4:45 am

    Girl! You know how I do! Play to your strengths!! The scrubs and crocs are just part of the nurse game… as for the rest… I told you already what my momma always said about me n heels "Amy, you walk like a potato farmer in those things!! Take em off!!" I find cute shoes n clothes that look right on me, just no dresses n heels…. coz I'm not trynna look like the wife of a potato farmer either! lol!