Laptop Begging

See, FREE Rules Everything Around Me (F.R.E.A.M.), and apparently everyone else too. This is an exchange that happened on Facebook, under the note version of my Laptop Giveaway post, between Savvy & Shida (who both sent in their responses via email). They made me cackle HARD at work.

Savvy F. Baybeh: “I entered. **does the Running Fatty**”

Shida Bee: C’mon I BETTA win! I even made interesting commentary!!!!

Savvy F. Baybeh: SO DID I SHIDA! Me or Shida (but preferably ME!) FTW!

Shida Bee: Savvy you have a cool FB name so I think you should be satisfied with that. I think I need the win to feel better about myself.

Savvy F. Baybeh: I was raised in a single parent household and had little to no contact with my father. I think it’s time that life handed me laptops instead of lemons.

Shida Bee: Well I broke my hips and was almost paralyzed, my mom and dad split for seven years, my bro died at 21, I haven’t had a job for 3 months and am temporarily broke and to top it all off- right now i have a stye in my eye that has gotten so infected I’m channeling Martin in that one boxing episode. I NEEEEEEEDS this in my life! At least you have lemons. You won’t go hungry ;o) I ain’t even got those

Savvy F. Baybeh: The lemons that I have are plastic; dusty family heirlooms I inherited from my last living relative; May God Rest Her Soul. So I’m out in the world alone…Just me and my athlete’s foot. The doctor cases less severe than mine can lead to amputation. So I’m cherishing every day I have left with these ashy appendages that are affixed to my ankles. The world is already so cold and lonely. And now I have to learn how to skateboard like Eddie Murphy on “Trading Places.” A laptop would really brighten my darkened, almost-amputeed spirit.

Shida Bee: OKay check it out- you win for worst sob story (even though mine was actually true; like for real IRL) so let me win the laptop. You can’t be hogging the wins. That wouldn’t be very sisterly of you! Hey Eefsters- we’ve worked it out. She wins the HardKnockLife award and I get the computer. Cool? Okthanxluvyabybye

Shida Bee: Ps what if yo foots herpes spreads to your other limbs. What you gonna do with no hands and a laptop??? I would expect that you wouldn’t even want to risk being that selfish when I’ve got two perfectly good working hands not in risk of being chopped off…you seem like a bigger and better person than that Ms. Baybeh

Savvy F. Baybeh: I’m not. I ain’t sh!t…however, I’m looking to turn things around with the convenient technology of a laptop. Life…HERE I COME.

They are both DUMB AS HELL! If only I could pick the one with the saddest (read: foolish) story. But… ALAS.

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  1. Shawnta`
    August 14, 2009 at 5:56 am

    @Luvvie: F.R.E.A.M. – LOVE IT! Hilarious! I love Savvy & Shida and don't even know 'em. I like their creativity in who had the tougher school of Hard Knocks. 😉

    Girl, you know we ALL love free stuff. If I win, I'm naming the laptop Jesus because according to Ray's mama in the movie, "ain't nothin' free but Jesus". I'll pronounce it as "Hei-sus" (like my phonetic spelling?) though because I don't want to be blasphemous.

    Good luck all & have a great weekend!

  2. true2me
    August 14, 2009 at 1:42 pm

    LMAO *dead*

  3. K to the...
    August 14, 2009 at 1:58 pm

    Shida killed me talking about herpes spreading to the hands. high-larious!

  4. S A V V Y Fatty!
    August 14, 2009 at 8:06 pm

    SHIDA AIN'T GOT NUFFIN' ON ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. amymay117
    August 15, 2009 at 3:44 am

    *kilt dead*

  6. bunny
    August 20, 2009 at 11:16 pm

    OMgosh both of them toooooo funny! Got my old azz crackin' the f*ck up!!!!!! Luvvie where do you find these folks? Seriously mad funny!

  7. Shida
    August 26, 2009 at 8:03 pm

    Shida FTMFW!!!! Least I won this since "thou who's name shall never part my lips again" straight kicked me out of the laptop running on some straight boooooooool…

  8. @goldone
    August 27, 2009 at 12:46 am

    kill'd ova