My LifeRandom

Old Man Flirt

A couple of weeks ago, I was exhibiting at a conference in Boofooville, USA, where I am one of few melanin-blessed people. I’s minding my own bitness, sitting down behind my table on my MacBook when I hear:

*clears throat*

I look up to see this older Black man staring at me. This is what ensued:

Me: Oh hello.Him: Hi. What does your organization do?Me: We’re a nonprofit that blah blah blah 
Him: *staring a bit too hard at me* *kneels down on the floor so he’s eye level with me* 
Me: *shifts a little in chair* We’re based in Chicago but do regional work 
Him: *looking at me even harder* I’m from Chicago too! How about that? 
Me: umm… cool. *shifts in chair* 
Him: You are beautiful! 
Me: Umm… sure thanks O__O 
Him: What’s is your name? You are just… beautiful? 
Me: Luv 
Him: Oh wow! Well, I’m glad I met you. You are beautiful *stares into my soulspace*
Me: *looks around nervously* *nervous chuckle* 
Him: Yes…! *walks away slowly with sly smile*

He finally walks away and I wanna fall off my chair into a tub of bleach and Ajax. UNCLEAN!!!

Like the time the old man saw me on the bus stop one morning and said “GURL! “If I had my social security check on me, I’d offer to take you to dinner this afternoon.” O_o F my life.

Edit: I’m pretty sure I’m gonna get a message from my sister talmbout “Where’s the rest of the post?” I don spoiled folks with my tomes. Now when I wanna just write and quickly *drop mic* folks giving me the O__O. Don’t judge me cuz I wanted to be lazy last night and not write an ENTIRE post. LOL

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  1. @Aabaakawad
    November 4, 2009 at 12:28 pm

    You just make men lose their mind! 😉

  2. and1grad
    November 4, 2009 at 2:03 pm

    Even tho I dont meet the age requirement, I almost feel a need to use that social security check line. That is GOLD (sorta). Might also substitute "druthers" altho I have no idea what those are. I digress.

  3. Tunde
    November 4, 2009 at 2:51 pm

    don't fake you know you were flattered. lol at least he wasn't disrespectful. (always looking for the silver lining).

  4. miss t-lee
    November 4, 2009 at 3:09 pm

    BOOOOOO!!! I read this already on VSB.
    Still luv ya like a step-child.

  5. Mr. Smart Guy
    November 4, 2009 at 4:00 pm

    At least he didn't offer to sop you up like a biscuit…

  6. @Roxy_V
    November 4, 2009 at 4:21 pm

    When this happens, I tell them I don't mess with men older than my (insert male relative here).

    They get mad but they learn to stop being inappropriate!

  7. Cheekie
    November 4, 2009 at 4:52 pm

    "Him: What's is your name? You are just… beautiful?"

    Why was it posed as a question? lol!! Or is that a typo. I find that hilarious for some reason.

    Yeah, the old men flirts are somethin' else. I got a Street Wise old man flirting with me everytime I pass him. One time I was trying to catch a light that lasts literally 2 secons for pedestrians and when he saw me zoom by he screamed, "Now I know you ain't gonna just sneak by me with all that BOOTAY!". I mean, I had my booty-lovin jeans on and yes it looked kinda fly, but….o_O. I mean, how you supposed to respect yo elders in times like that?! lmao

  8. Cheekie
    November 4, 2009 at 4:53 pm

    I was gon' say somethin' too, but I forgot where I read it until now. lol Thanks, t-lee girl!

  9. amymay117
    November 4, 2009 at 5:55 pm

    you gone have Litey out there on some ol' jealous boolshiggity! He'll be on the next flight to Boofooville to defend ya honor!!

  10. Lite Bread
    November 4, 2009 at 7:59 pm

    What you just said trumped anything I had going on in my head!!!!

    Well, she IS beautiful, ya know.

    But I will kick "Aakaakawd" ass.

  11. Luvvie
    November 4, 2009 at 8:04 pm

    The wrong ones though! If u got shoes that are older than me, don't be coming at me all sly. EEK!

  12. Luvvie
    November 4, 2009 at 8:05 pm

    LOL! The social security check like will get you side-eyed and throat punched (c) Miss T-Lee. Don't do it. It ain't worf it!

  13. Luvvie
    November 4, 2009 at 8:05 pm

    LOL u're too kind, Tunde.

  14. Luvvie
    November 4, 2009 at 8:05 pm

    Dang! U jus gon call me all aht like that? RUDE! lol

  15. Luvvie
    November 4, 2009 at 8:07 pm

    HA! I'mo have to do the same next time, because I'm sure there will be one (with my luck). thnx!

  16. Luvvie
    November 4, 2009 at 8:11 pm

    Not the StreetWise man!!! AW NAW!

    And *dead* at "Now I know you ain't gonna just sneak by me with all that BOOTAY!"

    Bury me a Diva (unHustled)

  17. Luvvie
    November 4, 2009 at 8:12 pm

    LMAO!!! He just may

  18. Luvvie
    November 4, 2009 at 8:12 pm

    BWAHAHAHAHA!! Behave urself, Litey!

  19. Luvvie
    November 4, 2009 at 8:24 pm

    EEEWWWW!! The Baba Taiwo visual just messed me up. Thanks for that grossness!

    And I also ask for repentance if he has passed. *washes hands w/ holy water*

  20. Kofo
    November 4, 2009 at 8:06 pm

    Wow, Luvvie……dont really what to say there, U should have given "Baba Taiwo" a chance, u know he has been eyeing u since u were like 7…..i know u are cracking up where u are………..Lord forgive me if "Baba Taiwo" has kicked the bucket(died)……….(*insert sign of the cross*)

  21. amymay117
    November 5, 2009 at 11:10 am

    see…. I know my peoples….

  22. Mista Jaycee
    November 5, 2009 at 7:59 pm

    Ewwww! LOL! Well, you handled it and hydrogen peroxide is better to get clean with. (wink)