My LifeRandom

She once was lost, but now, Google found

Picture it. Last night. On the phone…

Luvvie: Whoa, guess who just added me on Facebook?
Kindred: Who?
Luvvie: Tiffany
Kindred: WHAT??? I haven’t seen her in years
Luvvie: I know! Considering the Dolphin network is so strong (Note: High School mascot was Dolphins. Carry on.)
Kindred: Does she still look same?
Luvvie: Yeah she does!
Kindred: Nice! But do you know who the holy grail of missing Dolphins would be?
Luvvie: Naw who?
Kindred: You know, think about it.
Luvvie: *thinks for 5 minutes* Ummm… I got nothing. I give up
Kindred: AmberAlert!* (*Name changed to protect the innocent. I decided on AmberAlert because she’s been MIA for so long.)
Luvvie: AMBERRRR!!! We ain’t seent her in ’bout 15 years!
Kindred: I KNOW!!! Where she at?

Luvvie: We should Google her just to see.

*Insert google search*

Luvvie: *squeals* Ok I see an “AmberAlert” at the top of the search. It’s a Twitter account. Lemme click on it and see if it’s her. 
Kindred: NAW. That can’t be her.
Luvvie: *falls out chair* OMG IT IS HERRRRR!!! OMG OMG OMGGGGG!!!! It’s her!!! *squeals louder*
Kindred: You boolsheeting! That ain’t her! 
Luvvie: IT IS!! IT IS!! I just seent her picture. She looks the same!!! OMG IT’S AMBERALERT!!!
Kindred: We found her with one basic ass Google search??? I’m sending Google $25 RAHT NAH! They’ve earned it.
Luvvie: iLive. I effing LIVE!!! BWAHAHAHA Google can have all my monies. They just made my night and week
Kindred: I can’t believe this. All it took was ONE Google search???
Luvvie: *laughing so hard tears are coming down her face*
Kindred: I just slid down all the walls in my house! *CACKLES* This is FANTASTIC!

We found her! Just change out the white girl w/ pigtails with a Black woman.

So yes, this was a huge deal. We squealed some more, called up our friend, Kiarri, and let him know. Kiarri was like “Y’all are LYING! Last time we talked to her, Shanice had a CD out.” iDied. Then he told us not to call him no more until we both got sense. But not before he admitted that this was the best news he’s gotten in a hu-WHILE (shoutout to Stewie).

Y’all don’t understand how AWESOME this was for us. AmberAlert transferred out of our high school our sophomore year. She was one of those people who was so funny that she’d talk and folks would have tears streaming down their faces. Her, Kiarri, and I had a lotta classes together too, so needless to say, we acted up A LOT.

Sidenote: We got in trouble in class many a time because we were both foolish. We got separated often when teachers made seating charts. Her last name started with a B, mine and Kiarri’s were As so that was unfortunate for teachers. In fact, classes that didn’t have seating charts got one because of us. Yeah, we got mean-mugged at times for this. Plus we had the same lunch period. 

AmberA was my homeskillet. So when she left, there was an ignant void. AND she left and fell off the face of the Earth. Since then, NO ONE has seen or heard from her. Our high school network is vast. There are very few people that everyone has lost touch with. Even those we lost touch with have reconnected via Facebook. I don’t think she has one. Over the years, people still bring her up like “I wonder what happened to AmberAlert. She was awesome.” She left that much of an impression.

Kindred: I don’t need to do nothing else. We found AmberAlert.
Luvvie: I know. We’ve conquered the highest mountain. My life is complete.

Moral of this story: The innanets won’t let you stay hidden. Google Rules.

P.S. Let the record show that I’m not a stalker. I just played one last night. O__O

P.P.S. No, really I’m not.


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  1. Shawn.Smith
    January 25, 2010 at 2:53 pm

    That's funny.

    Fortunately/Unfortunately (how you look at it) people can't find me by googling my name. When they do the search they get an NFL player.

  2. KindredSmile
    January 25, 2010 at 3:28 pm

    Let the record show that I am *still* squealing at this news. I no longer needs the internets – Google has given me everything I've ever wanted. Maybe I should take up knitting.

  3. miss t-lee
    January 26, 2010 at 3:37 pm

    This is the same for me…if you google my real name the first page of links on Google, is a Fox news reporter in Baltimore.
    I take this as a win!

  4. @streetztalk
    January 26, 2010 at 8:45 pm

    Stalker…. Texas Ranger

  5. @streetztalk
    January 26, 2010 at 8:45 pm

    Enter text right here!

  6. Lite Bread
    January 27, 2010 at 3:02 am

    My kids Googled me …
    and a llama came up.

    (I wish someone Would stalk me! It'd be nice to be special …)