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Friday Foolishness: The Cuss Out Heard ‘Round the World

I came across this post while reading Shay D Lady’s blog and I laughed so hard I started hiccuping. I asked her if I could repost here and she kindly obliged. THIS is true Friday Foolishness.


I went to my daughter’s “Honors Day” program. My child has made either teacher’s honor roll or principal’s list every 9 weeks. She has never made a “C” and rarely brings a “B” home.

I dressed her in a pretty flower dress, her hair was freshly braided and beaded. She was ready to go. I get to the program and I didn’t even have time to sit down. The program was 15 minutes long. Why you ask?

Because apparently students had to either have principal’s list every 9 weeks or honor roll, but not a combination of the two. Yes, you heard me right. My daughter who has had principal’s list twice and Honor role twice was not honored in the honor’s assembly because she was intermittently good and great.

Her teacher told me and several other obviously upset parents that the office made the decision.
So I joined the gang of near rioting parents that stormed the office where the same information was repeated. I jostle my way to the front and ask her: “Well in order to have principal’s list you would have had to meet the standard for teacher’s honor roll, correct?” She nods her head in agreement. So I said “Technically, that student made honor roll and Principals list, right?”

She says “No you cant do both that’s the schools rule.” As I am gearing up to go off in a professional nice nasty way of Epic proportions I hear the following:

“That is some gotdayum bullshyt! This is the LAST Muthaf!ckin year my baby is going to go to this school. Now she comes in here every day and does what the hell she is supposed to and you mean to tell me she can’t walk up on stage to get her award over some bullshyt like this? This is some racist bullshyt you white devil biatch. I done took off work for this and you done f!cked up my day. But you know what you devil biatch muthaf!cka? I hope you have a nice one”.

It was extremely quiet as the angry parent turned on her 6 inch silver stiletto heels and clicked out of the office.

*insert flavor flav wowwwww*

There was really nothing left to say. She took all the clown and used it herself. There was no mo’ clown left. The “go off” I had planned now paled in comparison. I was almost mad that she stole my thunder in such a ghetto, hood manner but that was probably the best cuss out I have witnessed in a long time. I mean that was EPIC. And the ending? GAWD. I wish I could have said it myself.

I am going to find a time and a place perfect for its usage.


Luvvie’s note: SEE?!?! That cussout was CLASSIC! The kind that you call people you ain’t talked to in months to say “GURLLL lemme tell you what happened today!” That cuss out inspired me to get my “GO OFF” game up. Have y’all ever witnessed such a cuss out? Do share! I must hear more tales of ratchetness.

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  1. Cheekie
    May 28, 2010 at 1:20 pm

    OMG, that was the best thing evah. And yes, the best part was the ending. I’mma re-quote it for sheer props:

    “But you know what you devil biatch muthaf!cka? I hope you have a nice one”.”

    .-= Cheekie´s last blog ..Friday Foolery: Fry That Chicken =-.

    • May 31, 2010 at 6:26 pm

      Yeah that ending was dope. I loved everything about it.

  2. May 28, 2010 at 5:02 pm

    *slow clap*

    THAT is how you cuss somebody out! And, the fact that she had on 6-inch stilettos FURTHER lets me know that she is my she-ro.

    • May 31, 2010 at 6:27 pm

      Right! The click clack away after the epic cussout was my fave part. I need to get like her.

  3. Shelia
    May 29, 2010 at 8:57 am

    OMG!! LOL That was so funny! I’m using that one! I’m ready for somebody to piss me off just so I can have an excuse to use it.

  4. missthg
    May 29, 2010 at 11:48 am

    as usual you have provided me with a laugh like no other!!! Lawdamercy!!!!! now that was a proper cuss out!!!

  5. May 30, 2010 at 8:26 pm

    That is classic! I mean, we should teach kids that they aren’t doing these things for the accolades, but at the same time, recognize their achievements. That being said….that mom was awesome! LOL!
    .-= Sabrina ´s last blog ..My new mani…too bad it already chipped =-.

    • May 31, 2010 at 6:28 pm

      She deserves an award for “having her daughter’s back.”

  6. May 31, 2010 at 5:53 am
    • May 31, 2010 at 6:28 pm

      Gurl I also cackled LOUDLY when I first read it.

  7. Sub-rosa
    June 1, 2010 at 4:01 pm

    I would love to think that I could dig deep and provide such a righteous show of sistah-gurlness…but I swear it is my lot in life to end mess up good “get-em’told” moments with some botched attempt to seem cool. If it was me, such an awesome moment would have crumbled with a ankle twist in my 6-inch stilleto heels halfway down the hall….ya know the kind when you grab what’s near, even if its your childs head.

    I luv to see others do it, but I know I will never join them.

  8. bogart4017
    June 15, 2010 at 8:55 am

    classic! i knew there was a reason why i subscribed. That even tops apimpnamedslickfront! and i thought it couldnt be done.

  9. June 17, 2010 at 12:34 pm

    That’s my sister right there. I kid you not. My big sis is crazy like that

  10. October 19, 2010 at 8:41 pm

    Procrastinating like a mofo and found this post in my bookmarks…sweet baby Jesus this is still the funniest thing I have ever read and I love Luvvie forever and ever for bringing such fckery into my life.

    Totally should have learnt by now to read Luvvie in public places though. Hysterical woman at table 12.

    • October 20, 2010 at 12:31 am

      LOL! Thanks Sarah! Glad you found my foolery. 😀

  11. teachermommy
    August 7, 2011 at 2:08 pm

    So I’m spending a lazy, hot Sunday on the sofa perusing old blogs and came across this ‘ish. My 8 month old is trying to figure out why mommy is crying. I CANNOT TAKE IT!!!! And I’m a middle school teacher, so I see this entire scene, which makes it so much more funny. I love you for this!

  12. Sylvia
    June 13, 2012 at 1:05 am

    Late I know but so worth it. Laughed so hard it hurt, Jesus be a fence cause this just made my day

  13. MyTruthNotUrs
    July 4, 2013 at 10:35 pm

    Lawd’merci!!!!! #dead
    Laying here bored to death, and decided to read old blogs – ilive!!!
    I’m STILL crying over this entire episode!!!!
    And THIS type of foolishness/fuckery is why I will forever lubbs me some Luvvie!!!

  14. dani_hazel_eyes
    August 20, 2013 at 1:24 pm

    When I was in 11th grade I had alopecia, which is a condition that causes your hair to fall out, so I had to cut my hair to “hide” the bald spot. Of course I was picked on. There was this boy who kept saying the back of my head, where the hair was slowly growing back, looked like pubic hair. That was the last straw. I told him ” he wouldn’t know what pubic hair looked like even if his mama stood in front of him a$$ naked with her P#$$y in his face! That was the last time he messed with me.