WebMD is a Dramatic Hypochondriac. And I Might Have Gout
The Information SuperHighway aka The Innawebs is a gift and a curse. Remember when you had to go to the library to find out something? And then we got computers in the crib and Microsoft Encarta was the joint! (Yes, we fancy, huh?) Anyway, now that we have Google, all types of information is at our fingertips. This is good because I can read up an all types of random topics that otherwise I may not know about. The bad is that the internet can give us TOO murch information.
Like yesterday. I woke up with my right elbow hurting. Not hurting when I move it, but when I put it on my computer desk. It hurt throughout the day and I decided to check WebMD. LAWDDDD!!! This is where I made a mistake. Y’all know I’m dramatic ALREADY. I went to the Symptom Checker and what did WebMD come back with? A list of ailments. And at the top was…
I GOT THE GOUT!!! *WALL SLIDE* Whatcha’ll gon wear to my funegro??? Because CLEARLY, goodbye cruel world! Of ALL things at the top of the list, WebMD? Lawd. My joints have aged in dog years and are 150. As you see, also on the list is sickle cell.
iCANNOT! WebMD is trying to ruin me before my time! So I took it to Twitter and after my Twitfam laughed at my for my hysterics and overdramatics, they proceeded to tell me what they WOULD wear to my funegro. Here are the different outfits:
“A bedazzled south pole jumpsuit with dereon glitter tennis shoes and gucci knock-off shades.” – @BigDeelight
“I’d wear leggings and a Another Bad Creation concert tshirt & pass out click clacks with your face on it & sing “gangsta lean” – @BeautyinTheGeek
“I’m going to wear nothing but GLORY to Luvvie’s funeral.” – @SaeedJones
“Me and my hubby gon’ be FLY in Steve Harvey Zoot Suits in LIME GREEN. With Stacy Adams gators. For me matching wig, him: fedora – @BBMolasses
“What can anyone wear to your funegro but a Dereon onesie??” – @MaxFab
Them jerks don’t understand my struggles. I just got diagnosed with the gout from a 5-minute symptom checker and all they’re doing is planning outfits. HMPH! But apparently, WebMD is a hypochondriac, because it’s good for telling folks they have the worst diseases EVER. You sneeze three times and check them and they’re likely to tell you that you have the Ebola virus. Or allergies. Semantics though. WebMD’s a hypochondriac.
So me and my gouty arthritic fractured elbow will use some Ben Gay and keep it moving. Folks gon REALLY think I got the gout using some Ben Gay and smelling like a nursing home.
Have y’all ever used WebMD’s symptom checker? Did it tell you that you got gangrene? Sharing is caring folks. Leave your thoughts.