The 25 Dumbest Tweets of 2010

Every Friday, folks on Twitter do #FF, which is the hashtag for Follow Friday (follow me on there, BTW. @Luvvie). It’s a day where folks are supposed to recommend to others who they should follow. As with everything on Twitter, the original concept has been made irrelevant by people who abuse #FF with random ass long lists and retweeting mentions of themselves. So #FF has gone by the wayside. However, one person who does #FF right is Miss Zindzi. She uses the day to RT the FUNNIEST tweets of the week and adds the #FF hashtag. She’s genius. And awesome for it.

Zindzi is great for finding the DUMBEST tweets EVER. So I asked her to bless me (and you) with a post on various tweets she’s come across all year, that are just on DUMMY. And she did. So… enjoy!


Twitter: A place for people to share their thoughts. A place for celebrities and public figures to connect with their fans and supporters. An English major’s nightmare.

I want to forget these tweets. I want to pretend MJB never typed “intelligents”. But I cannot. So with a heavy heart and deep sigh, I present to you:

The 25 Dumbest Tweets of 2010

1) @LeighyahBaby: Ladies that fall in luv with other peoples boyfriends have low selves of steam

Zindzi: Okay, she meant well, but DAMN.

Luvvie: The fact that I can’t e’em type “self esteem” anymore because of this is just…

2) @Tyrese: Real MEN who study&enjoy nieces asses clearly know the difference in a REAL of FAKE ass..So you ladies know It’s NASTY STOP IT!

Zindzi: When your misspellings/grammatical errors render your tweets slightly illegal, you need to step away from the keyboard

Luvvie: I don’t even know WHAT he’s talmbout here.

3) @starchyldzwurld: Iph sumbodee notice u got a hair owta playce they lyke u or they gelus oph u…#platowt…TiNg**

Zindzi: I…have no words. EVERYTHING is wrong here.

Luvvie: Wait… WHAT?

4) @Cdotthecatalyst RT @wait_Ur_A_NATE: this nigga got cerrobopause, why the fuck he keep moving his hand <– u mean cerebral paulsy?

Zindzi: My favorite type of grammatical error would have to be one that is made when attempting to correct someone else’s error

Luvvie: O__o

5) @chloowalker: i’m having withdrawal systems i haven’t had a gingerbread latte in days!

Zindzi: Withdrawal. Systems. *burns books*

Luvvie: Umm…

The Patented Zindzi Stare. All of these have earned it.

6) @NinoBgr8: #Ladies If u have hair on ur knuckles yew where going to be a man but God changed his Mine =)

Zindzi: *Blank Stare*

Luvvie: O_______O

7) @hoopz_23: Closes mouths don’t get feed!

Zindzi: Noes, they doesn’ts!

Luvvie: But do opens foots get ate?

8 ) @slimthugga: It’s wanna those movies that have chicks on that sullibant shit

Zindzi: Isn’t sullibant an arthritis medicine? Sullibrex? Celibrex? I dunno.

Luvvie: “wanna those” though?

9) @ItsNotU_itsRIS: Women, stop puttin these men on such a high pedal stool. Not all of them are worth it #imjustsayin

@itorria05: Question off the day!! why must women be called a hoe when they sleep with many but a guy is placed on a petal stool?

Zindzi: When I see “pedal stool”, I think of a unicycle. When I see “petal stool”, I cry.

Luvvie: The lack of respect of grammar, syntax, subject-verb agreement and the English language in general… But he gets an E for effort. I guess.

10) @NETWORKGIL: hate all girls with arterial motives that’s why I 20 plus no son no daughters

Zindzi: Nonsensical AND misspelled? *Facepalm*

Luvvie: I also hate ventricular motives. O__O

11) @BigHomie_: #HowToKeepAMan sign dat pre-nub b4 y’all tie the knot

Zindzi: Pre-nub=An arm pre-amputation?

Luvvie: Pre-nub is what happens AFTER amputation before the nub develops.


Surrebral Posey. Dumbest Tweets of 2010


Zindzi: If you Google a word and the only results that come up are retweets of your misspelling, you’ve lost

Luvvie: NO birthday #secks for you! NO SIR!

13) @HP3D: if your gone hang with bitches, they minus well be female

@MsCJayBoss: If ya gotta stay home mine as well eat good!

@Tiana_Maclips: Matter as well walk to da nail salon while lex take her time

Zindzi: Okay, let’s discuss this. The term is “MIGHT AS WELL”. Not Mightus Whale, Mighty Swell, Minors Well…

Luvvie: All of ’em #minuswell just go away.

14) @enaboomb: If you don’t have flower to fry chicken.. use muster #random

Zindzi: Is this from Sandra Lee’s cookbook?

Luvvie: I enjoy seerop with my food.

15) @BubbleFaceBre: #In10Years Niqqah Will Relize Females Are Really Smarter Then Them!

Zindzi: Thank you for setting us back 50 years.

Luvvie: And she’ll be the exception to that epiphany when it happens


Defense Magnesium. Dumbest Tweets of 2010


Zindzi: I’m definitely crying, too…

Luvvie: If this child don’t go reassess her lifespace…

17) @WakaFlocka1017: A hater is a undercover admiru

Zindzi: Sir.

Luvvie: I just…

18) @neivexsharpe: My grandma was lactoast & tolerant, my mom kinda is. That means I might, aslo?! Daaanngg it -_-

Zindzi: Lactoast. But definitely tolerant. Well, that’s good. *Sigh*

Luvvie: If she lacked toast, why ain’t she just eat waffles? Maybe she couldn’t tolerate it. Oh. That ain’t it? (-___-)

19) @tbad2thebone: Fantasia was her 2010 high school class valid victorian.

Zindzi: Another one of my favorite types of errors: Ones that are made while attempting to insult someone else’s intelligence]

20) @ShenekaAdams:  I feel like doing some Debotury.

Zindzi: What annoyed me about this one was her attitude about being corrected. She CLEARLY meant “debauchery”, but when she was corrected, she said “not everyone uses the White Man’s dictionary”. So, to be fair, I consulted my Laotian Man’s dictionary, and yeah, “debotury” isn’t in there, either

21) @HazelLynn770: Straight women need to STOP taking the gay route as a escape goat.

Zindzi: Every time I see “escape goat”, I picture a bunch of goats running across a highway. Don’t judge me.

Luvvie: Escaped goat? Who let us Capricorns out the gate?? SHOURROUT TO MY FELLOW CAPRICORNS! Oh, he wasn’t talmbout us? Aight then. (-__-)

22) @Scooby85: Please dont miss interpret that last tweet people…. Omg lol

Zindzi: Miss Interpret? Is she friends with Miss Understood?

Luvvie: I thought she was BFFs with Miss Represent. *shrugs*

23) @anagabby93: My dad just felt extra dumb tryna say I aplied to thisd colledge and I said uhh no I didnt

Zindzi: Misspelling college is probably one of the dumbest things you can do, ESPECIALLY when calling someone else dumb.

Luvvie: Her poor daddy’s wasting money on college apps when she MIGHT wanna stay an extra year in high school to catch up.

24) @Nice_n_Strong: Stuck with a lot of should of , would of , could of

Zindzi: And you left me stuck with a lot of crap.

Luvvie: *deep sigh*

25) @Tyrese: In your relationship try and become a profetiobal forgiver..

Zindzi: This is the WORST kind of misspelling. The type that makes you question YOURSELF. I actually went to Google to see if maybe I was wrong, and “profetiobal” WAS an actual word. Shame on you, Mr. Gibson.

Luvvie: Profetiobal? Listen. EVERYONES ain’t meant to be deep.


Honorary mentions and Luvvie’s additions:


Chris Brown Tweet

And a brain is a chest if it can’t execute. Wayment… O___O (-__-)

27) @iHateKatStacks: Leaving Atlanta On my way to Texas …. im all around the world

Luvvie: I just took Amtrak to Indiana. Y’all, I’m GLOBAL! O_____O

iHate that iLove Twitter sometimes. This is partly why. So much #debotury from people with low #selfofsteam, and then they wanna get an #additude when you correct them. These fools #minuswell just quit tweeting. For all #intensivepurposes, they’ont even know that spell check exists. Then they wanna talk bout haters when we all know it’s nothing but a #defensemagnesium. And you know who’s WORST at this? Tyrese. #Irregardless, he’s FAHN #doe. He’ont look like he got #surrebralposey or nothing. But he spells like he #daws. We all need to #except it. O_o Oh Twitter…

If your tweet ended up in the “25 Dumbest Tweets of 2010” blog post, I kinda need you to close your Twitter account and go get an English tutor ASAPtually.

Which of these is the absolute dumbest?

Much love to ZINZAY for gracing my eCrib with her presence. She’s an English major and prolific tweeter from Brooklyn whose hobbies include reading, writing and hoodie collecting. Follow her on Twitter and Tumblr. Follow @MissZindzi and @Luvvie on Twitter.

Also, check out the Dumbest Tweets tumblr. Updated almost daily with the dumbest tweets that we see on Twitter as they happen. You can also submit the dumb tweets you see there.

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Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Cerrome December 29, 2010, 2:20 am

    This is too much in one place,My chest hurts from laughing at this.Good job

    • Luvvie December 29, 2010, 3:08 am

      Hurts when breathe? LOL

      • That the one December 29, 2010, 9:36 am

        That’s what I was thinking. Where that at?

        • That's the one December 29, 2010, 9:43 am

          Or even – Que tweeted, “Love is in tha air tonight. I want that hole world 2 kno ur mine forever…[Dawn] Will U Marry Me……I love you.”

          It’s the little things those minor details………………..that can fuck you up.

  • Mz Joy December 29, 2010, 2:33 am

    In @Chrisbrown’s defense….its been concluded by my timeline that he may be autistic, thus explaining his ability to dance better than most people, yet not speak coherently or deal with frustrating social situations. I’m just saying that could be why… for Tyrese, he’s just retarded. Sexy as hell, but retarded.

    • Gem of the Ocean December 29, 2010, 2:45 am


    • Luvvie December 29, 2010, 3:09 am

      Nice excuse for Chris Brown but NAWL! Yes, he may get his Cletus the Slack-jawed yokel on TOO often. That boy is just low key remedial. And as for Tyrese… yeah. He just needs to be mute and look segzy. Don’t say NUFFIN, Black Ty!

  • Maui December 29, 2010, 2:37 am

    I hate that I remember the uproar from almost every one of these. Oh and it’s a different category of stupid, but y’all should have added the one from the guy who hoped Christmas Eve didn’t fall on Friday the 13th. O_o

    • Luvvie December 29, 2010, 3:10 am

      I totally missed that. Some dude said he ain’t want Christmas Eve on… iCan’t. I just…

    • lana_j23 December 29, 2010, 3:31 am

      Wait, somebody hoped that Christmas Eve didn’t fall on Friday the 13th? I missed that one. LMAO!!!!

      • K to the... December 29, 2010, 10:18 am

        Yeah, I remember that! I think his name is @KineticalDummy

        • Luvvie December 30, 2010, 2:02 am

          Dummy indeed.

  • Constance December 29, 2010, 2:40 am

    I DIED at “lactoast & tolerant”!

    This whole list was absolute foolishness and I loved it.

    • Luvvie December 29, 2010, 3:12 am


  • Gem of the Ocean December 29, 2010, 2:43 am

    LMMFAO whyyyyyy must i cry???

    i just caused a #seen in my home (my dad said “this n*gga is crazy” as i laughed #historically to myself) because of the level of #debotury in this post.

    i think the key lesson to be learned here is when you #lacktoast AND you’re tolerant, your level of ignorance increases, while your #selfofsteam decreasesbut . like i always say–if you cant beat em, #minuswell join em!!!

    p.s. Tyrese, #doe?!?!?! i need him to delete his twitter account and go ahead and press “reset” on his life too *smdh*

    • Luvvie December 29, 2010, 3:12 am

      LMAO! Your dad is prolly like “this fool don lost ALL her good mind.” And Tyrese’s publicist needs to threaten to quit if he’ont quit Twitter.

  • Dee Dee December 29, 2010, 2:44 am

    One word: dead.

    • Luvvie December 29, 2010, 3:13 am

      *tries to revive you* DON’T GO TOWARDS THE LIGHT!!!

  • Dr. Goddess December 29, 2010, 2:45 am

    As a karate expert, I’m not gonna talk about anybody listed in this post; but as a professor of English, my heart is heavy and my eyes are weary…and my abs are real tight for laughing so hard. Lawd. Thank you Zindzi and Luvvie!

  • PBG December 29, 2010, 2:52 am


    • Luvvie December 29, 2010, 3:13 am

      Hell, me too.

  • Kourtney December 29, 2010, 3:02 am

    Oh goodness. I cackled SO hard while reading this!!! It just confirmed 2 things:

    1)No matter how hard I try I will never understand anything Tyrese tweets. His Twitter presence really makes me sad. He needs to delete his account, not talk or write, look pretty, and occasionally sing on buses. That is all.

    2) I’ll keep open and pay attention to red squiggly lines. Don’t wanna get caught by any eagle eyed tweeters!! 😉

    • Luvvie December 29, 2010, 3:18 am

      Iunno what form of English Tyrese chooses to tweet in but he needs to let the rest of us know so we aren’t in a perpetual state of side-eye.

      LOL @ keeping open. You’ont e’em need all’at. But do pay attention to those squiggly lines!

  • asetdevine December 29, 2010, 3:07 am

    LMAO!!! I loved this post!

    • Luvvie December 29, 2010, 3:14 am

      😀 Glad to hear it!

  • lana_j23 December 29, 2010, 3:07 am

    I had to stop reading at #2 Tyrese should be embarrassed. WTF was he talking about?

    • Luvvie December 29, 2010, 3:14 am

      Who the hell knows what Tyrese was talmbout? I was just like O_______O

      • aaw1976 December 29, 2010, 9:21 am

        But he is now a published author. I wonder how much editing that editor had to do to that damn book. Hell the editor probably gave up translating blacktiese.

  • lana_j23 December 29, 2010, 3:34 am

    So while reading this post, I was laughing and coughing (I’ve got a cold) my mom screamed from the other room, “Are you crying? What’s wrong?!” This was just too damn much for my soul.

    • Luvvie December 29, 2010, 9:49 am

      LOL! Had mama thinking you were going through something. Which you kinda were.

  • Mo December 29, 2010, 3:48 am

    Each one more rib-cracking than the last. But ‘lactoast & tolerant’ takes the cup!

    • Luvvie December 29, 2010, 9:49 am


  • KiKi December 29, 2010, 5:49 am

    I’m over here dying laughing at this. I also remember the uproar on Twitter from most of these.

    But I’m mad that the “cereal rapist” tweet didn’t make the cut. LMAO

    • Luvvie December 29, 2010, 9:49 am

      Hmm… I musta missed the “cereal rapist” tweet. I don’t remember that one.

      • Stacy December 29, 2010, 2:01 pm

        Who did he rape, Cap’n Crunch, Count Chocula, or that silly rabbit turning TRIX? LMAO.. I JUST CANNOT!!!!

        • Luvvie December 30, 2010, 1:52 am

          LOL what bout Toucan Sam? Don’t leave him out.

  • Zimmy December 29, 2010, 7:17 am

    Y’all don’t know. Reading this gave me life today. Thank you!

    Your critiques had me on the floor! lol!!!

    • Luvvie December 29, 2010, 9:50 am

      Giving life via ratchetness is what I aspire to do. Mission: accomplished. 😀

  • Aprill December 29, 2010, 7:30 am

    This would be funny…but since I don’t read the white man’s dictionary, minus well take notes! 😉

    • Luvvie December 29, 2010, 9:52 am

      Take #knowts indeed.

    • Zimmy December 29, 2010, 11:08 am

      I guess I won’t be able to due to my low selves of steam.

  • JoeBiam December 29, 2010, 7:33 am

    My phone is prone to random autocorrections of slang and what not, so I’m pretty mindful to check my own tweets and make fun of and correct myself. I also have been known to use (*sp) when spelling a word that I THINK may be wrong. However, this shit right here??? I just…

    • Luvvie December 29, 2010, 9:53 am

      Yeah what’s funniest bout all these tweets is the assured way the tweeter tweeted them. Like “this point I’m making rocks.” NAWL!

  • Truth December 29, 2010, 8:03 am

    *dead* Please don’t let MJB eulogize me though she be jackin folks names up….its too early for this fuckery lemme go find my asthma pump

    • Luvvie December 29, 2010, 9:54 am

      Chile, MJB coulda easily been 10 of these 25 tweets.

  • BeesOHoney December 29, 2010, 8:24 am

    Very funny, but I had to stop reading. I think I was becoming dumber but each new tweet. lol

    • Luvvie December 29, 2010, 9:54 am

      Read one (dumb tweet), teach one (to not tweet the same)

  • Mimi S. December 29, 2010, 8:26 am

    I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. If I ever teach in district that allows corporal punishment, I will threaten to beat anyone writing like this especially if they know better.

    • Luvvie December 30, 2010, 2:03 am

      Feel free to laugh first then cry later after you think about it. And if corporal punishment is allowed, a beating would be your OBLIGATION for these types of mistakes.

  • ThatsMsSydney2U December 29, 2010, 8:27 am

    This whole list just kicked my soul. THIS is why I can’t follow some celebs because it might kill the little respect I have left for some of them. And Waka….*sigh*….every time he opens his mouth, a grammar teacher rolls in their grave.

    • Rhome December 29, 2010, 2:16 pm

      Waka is the Child that was Left Behind.

      • Luvvie December 30, 2010, 1:54 am

        THIS!!! Lawd… you ain’t lying!

  • Cheekie December 29, 2010, 8:30 am

    I’m just gonna… go over here >>> *thud*

    • Luvvie December 30, 2010, 2:00 am

      *fans you* *throws water on your face*

  • andrea morgan December 29, 2010, 8:30 am

    Just hilarious!

  • Stacey-StAR December 29, 2010, 8:51 am

    This is THE BEST year end wrap up EVER! Great work. A great morning laugh… I’m not even gonna read this twice.

    • Luvvie December 30, 2010, 2:04 am

      It’s even funnier the 2nd time reading some of these tweets.

  • Eve~ December 29, 2010, 8:55 am

    The best have to be when someone is trying to sound A LOT more intelligent than they are… “Defense Magnesium”? LMAO! iDied thrice!

    Apparently the girl talking about “the white man’s dictionary” used that as a “defense magnesium” as well. BWAHAHA! I’m going to have a ton of fun showing this to people today.

    I wanted to laugh at some of the other ones, but I really couldn’t decipher what was being said. 🙁

    • Luvvie December 30, 2010, 2:06 am

      There are 2 of these that I’m still like WTF? Some folks clearly made up a whole new illogical language.

  • Deesha December 29, 2010, 8:56 am

    Standing ovation, ladies!

    I’d like to add this gem from Ms. Mary J. Blige:

    @bitchysnob that’s all you Got?? Grow up! Lol!!! Everyone miss spells words on here! Waisting no more energy on you! Lol!!!! Waist of time!

    • DMario Isajerk December 29, 2010, 9:10 am

      you mean Standing ovulation?

      • Deesha December 29, 2010, 11:44 am

        Presizely!! 🙂

      • Luvvie December 30, 2010, 1:59 am

        Ya know what…? DMario, GO AWAY! lol

    • Luvvie December 30, 2010, 1:59 am

      Bless Mary J’s heart. She’s just… she should stick to singing.

  • Reecie December 29, 2010, 9:03 am

    this made my morning!!! I never see these tweets in real time but someone I follow always retweets them. appreciate the laughs.

    • Luvvie December 30, 2010, 2:07 am


  • BELauriette December 29, 2010, 9:07 am

    Thank you so much for this laugh. I’m no English major so I’m always double checking my spelling and grammar.

  • Alovelydai December 29, 2010, 9:09 am

    You promised another classic post today & you’ve succeeded. Well done.

  • Remnants December 29, 2010, 9:15 am

    This was hilarious. I was in tears by #10…Thank you both Zindzi & Luvvie.

  • MiiSS kECiia December 29, 2010, 9:39 am

    Shut Up i am literally crying right now! I have to make sure i keep my game tight on twitter lmao

  • J. Nicole December 29, 2010, 9:53 am

    With each dumb tweet my faith in US education systems was weakened, but Zindzi said she consulted her Laotian Man’s dictionary, I was drop kicked through the goal posts of life.

    • Luvvie December 30, 2010, 1:56 am

      Yeah. The public school system has failed us all and left ALL these children behind. WOMP!

  • tiabia December 29, 2010, 10:16 am

    I have truly been rendered speechless by this entire post, lol! I can’t wait to see what 2011 has to offer.

    • Luvvie December 30, 2010, 1:56 am

      2011 will be bigger and better. I claim it! 😀

  • MissZindzi December 29, 2010, 10:21 am

    I’m glad everyone enjoyed the article. What bothers me the most is that I had SO many misspelled tweets to choose from!

  • K to the... December 29, 2010, 10:24 am

    Man, it’s so many other tweets that #couldof been incldued on this list…like some #won saying Kanye makes up words, like sarcophagus! LOL

    #Grate list ladies!!! The commentary after each tweet makes the post even funnier!

  • Nono December 29, 2010, 10:24 am

    OMG I’m crying so hard right now… I got to #5 and said “Gatdamb this is sofaking ignorant” (pardon my french). I refuse to follow Tyrese and Chris Brown. Especially MJB; it hurts too much. But yeah I follow Waka on purpose just for the ignance.

    These right here??

    Luvvie: If she lacked toast, why ain’t she just eat waffles? Maybe she couldn’t tolerate it. Oh. That ain’t it?

    Zindzi: What annoyed me about this one was her attitude about being corrected. She CLEARLY meant “debauchery”, but when she was corrected, she said “not everyone uses the White Man’s dictionary”. So, to be fair, I consulted my Laotian Man’s dictionary, and yeah, “debotury” isn’t in there, either

    And a brain is a chest if it can’t execute. Wayment… O___O (-__-)

    I’ont ‘preciate y’all making me hurt like this. *wheezing*

    Awesome post!!

  • thewildseed December 29, 2010, 10:30 am

    OMG!!!! #selfofsteam #defensemagnesium

    Enough said. I laughed til I cried at this. Great job ladies.

    • Luvvie December 30, 2010, 1:55 am

      *curtsies* 😀

  • blunted December 29, 2010, 10:31 am

    FYI, an “escape goat” is what Amish bank robbers use to get away.

    • MissZindzi December 29, 2010, 11:59 am

      Blunted: FYI, an “escape goat” is what Amish bank robbers use to get away


    • Nono December 29, 2010, 2:59 pm

      Help me, Tom Cruise!!


      • Luvvie December 29, 2010, 8:58 pm

        Tom Cruise can be of NO help to you. lol

    • Luvvie December 30, 2010, 1:55 am

      LMAO!!! You dumb as hell.

  • Ayesha December 29, 2010, 10:42 am

    You just gained a new follower with this post! This is the first thing to make me laugh in 3 days!

    • Luvvie December 30, 2010, 1:55 am

      YAYYYY!!! *cartwheels* This makes me happy. Welcome!

  • Capricorn December 29, 2010, 11:05 am

    Whyyyy must you murk me on my birthday, Luvvie?!? Whhhyyyyyyy? *throws self off bed*

    • Luvvie December 30, 2010, 1:57 am

      HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CAPRICORN!!!! *hugs you* *throws confetti*

  • Irene December 29, 2010, 11:32 am

    Oh my God! #18 is my favorite. Really, I have a degree in English and I know I make some typos, but damn!!

    Too funny. Thanks for the laughs.

    • Luvvie December 30, 2010, 1:57 am

      You’s welcome!

  • Ashley December 29, 2010, 11:38 am

    “I have sint this out to som uf my friends who don’t have twitter to let thim know what there missing out on!!! My sister is an Inglish major and I can’t wate to see her reaction to this.”

    Okay, my soul almost disowned me for typing that way and those red lines are bothering me. *REALLY trying to NOT go back and correct them*

    I don’t know which one was worse. I stopped following Rev. Run b/c he tweeted something that was misspelled and grammatically incorrect and I just couldn’t.

    Tyrese is slowly losing his sexiness in my book. Like you fine and all but I can’t deal with a man who, if he was to ever actually WRITE me a love letter, deciphering what he’s trying to tell me would take ALL of the sweetness and thoughtfulness out of the whole letter.

    Good post, I’m trying to get this everywhere, I’m going to RT it, put a link to it on my Tumblr and fbk it and email it out as well.

    • Luvvie December 30, 2010, 1:58 am

      Rev Run and his wisdumb… girl I don’t have time. And yah, I bet it took a lotta effort for you to type like that.

      Truly appreciate you passing this on too! Thanksies!

      • Ashley January 3, 2011, 3:01 am

        You’re quite welcome, any time.

        my sister, the English major, read it and was truly disturbed. About 2 years ago she and I met this woman who’d just written her first book. She gave each of us a free copy and that book has so many grammatical, spelling, and tense errors it’s almost hard to read.

        and my friends, who don’t have Twitter, got a lot of laughs out of this.

  • Eb December 29, 2010, 12:02 pm

    OH GLLLOORRRAAAAAYYY!!!! this is hilarious! “for colored tweets who induce suicide with their illiterate literary attempts to be smart when the rainbow isnt spelled correctly” im still wiping tears! LOL…yeah i really did. not the “lol” straight face kind…hahaha

    • Luvvie December 30, 2010, 2:09 am


  • Scottie Lowe December 29, 2010, 12:03 pm

    Sadly, these tweets are more of an indication of a sub-standard educational system that is intentionally handicapping people of color rather than an opportunity to feign superiority over the educationally disabled.

    • MissZindzi December 29, 2010, 12:38 pm

      1) You’re assuming that all these errors were made by underprivileged people of color, which is untrue.

      2) These are just jokes, and honestly, if you’re smart enough to use technology, create a Twitter account and Tweet, you should know basic phrases and know how to spell correctly.

      • Ashley December 29, 2010, 1:15 pm

        Right and I KNOW my comp. is not the only one that will give you the red line if SOMEthing doesn’t look right (got it just then capitalizing the first half of that word)and if you right click on it, it’ll give you the correct term.

    • Lady J December 29, 2010, 12:53 pm

      Or more of an indication that grown people using the computer should pay attention to the little red squiggly line that automatically pops up when typing something incorrectly, hell even the green line that comes up when the whole dang sentence is just.plain.wrong. The assumption that all of these tweets are from people of color is also an indication that you may need to chill on the profiling, racially. Be blessed, I hope your intentions were good. 🙂

  • Naturally Alise December 29, 2010, 12:35 pm

    “Selves of Steam” is my fondest 2010 memory. I use it daily.

    Oh and “cerrobopause”…. iCant…

    • Luvvie December 30, 2010, 2:09 am

      ME TOO!!!

  • Lady J December 29, 2010, 12:48 pm

    LIFE BE BREATHED INTO ME BECAUSE I JUST DIED…several times! HA!!!!! Yes. Yes. Yes.

  • lilbit o'luck December 29, 2010, 1:20 pm

    18) @neivexsharpe: My grandma was lactoast & tolerant, my mom kinda is. That means I might, aslo?! Daaanngg it -_-

    *throws mouse acoss the room*

    • Luvvie December 30, 2010, 2:11 am

      We ain’t paying for no new mouse for you!!! lol

  • Em Mitch December 29, 2010, 1:25 pm

    Before I continue laughing.. Are we absolutely sure these celebs tweet themselves? If so… {Proceeds laughing} at least kanye admits his grammar is terrible, he warns before he tweets

  • NY2VA December 29, 2010, 1:29 pm

    This post right here makes me wanna be your hype woman. Like I wanna walk around with you and co-sign everything you say. I follow you around with a boom box playing “Eric B. For President” as your theme music. I wanna go to random municipalities on primary and election day and write your name in for all of the offices on the ballot. I wanna start an urban marketing firm, hire some nuckas for a street team, wrap a van and put Luvvie flyers all over the hood.

    In other words, you a’ight wit me gurl! This ish was hilarious!

    • Luvvie December 30, 2010, 2:11 am

      ROTFLMAOOOO @ hype woman. This doggone comment is soooo awesome. I just wanna put it in my pocket and take it places with me.

  • AmandaMichelle December 29, 2010, 1:45 pm

    thank you, luvvie & zindzi for helping me clear the madness from my chest. laughter truly is the best medicine.

    • phr775 January 1, 2011, 10:50 pm

      Your hair is ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!!!! Natural hair FTW!!!

  • Ashley December 29, 2010, 1:46 pm

    I don’t follow him but some of my followers were going in on 50 Cent after he did a rant trying to threaten somebody all the while using incorrect grammar and misspelling SIMPLE words. What’s worse is, when he tried to make excuses and say “it’s just twitter” or whatever and those were misspelled as well.

    off topic but why hasn’t this post gone to my email? I always get an email when there are new blogs up but I have yet to get the one about this blog. Good thing I’m following you on Twitter or I’d have missed out. lol

    • Ashley December 29, 2010, 2:16 pm

      it just got to my email, sorry

    • Luvvie December 30, 2010, 1:52 am

      50 Cent is an idiot. That doggone buffoon. Chile don’t get me started on that asshole.

      Hmm… did you finally get the post in your inbox? I hope so! Feedburner musta been on CP time delivering the email.

  • Rhome December 29, 2010, 2:12 pm
  • DivaKattGurl December 29, 2010, 2:27 pm

    ROTFL dead at all of it! Whoooo best tears laugh of this week!

  • Ladycakes December 29, 2010, 2:34 pm

    My Qdoba is now ALL over my computer screen. Lawd Luvvie I’se feeling mighty down I’se feeling mighty low and then I seent yo post and now I know.

    • Luvvie December 29, 2010, 8:59 pm

      … THERE IS A GAWD!! *miss sofia rock back and forth*

  • Rudie December 29, 2010, 2:39 pm

    I somehow made it to #25 and have been laughing — out loud no less — for the last 30 minutes. Profetiobal?!?! Genuine tears. In my mind I heard it read in Katt Williams’ voice.

    • Luvvie December 29, 2010, 8:58 pm

      I STILL don’t know what profertiobal is supposed to be/mean.

      • Ashley December 29, 2010, 10:47 pm

        I really think he meant “professional” but I could be wrong

      • rexi44 December 29, 2010, 11:41 pm

        a typo for professional, maybe. But what is sullibant?

        • aisha1908 December 30, 2010, 12:12 am

          I’m thinking maybe sullibant = celibate

        • BEHM777 December 30, 2010, 12:49 pm

          I think you are right, he meant celibate. But why are people that *expletive considered* stupid having sex anyway?

  • Javanell December 29, 2010, 3:08 pm

    I can’t stop laughing. Thanks for making my day. Love the site.

    • Luvvie December 29, 2010, 8:57 pm

      YAYYY!!! Glad to make your day. And I love your tumblrs, girl!

  • Kween December 29, 2010, 5:12 pm

    First…please don’t clown the mixspelling of my username, email and websight. I was tryna be different.

    B) You owe me pants…and a therapy chair since I will forever be using Depends due to this post.

    and HEREUNTO…this is funny as all be damned. As a fellow “Grammar Nazi” I choke down my inner scholar to keep from going bush-wack-a-doodle on these Innernet folks (You KNOW I’m gonna be on-porpoise mixspelling all day) I needed this laugh.

    …a new fan!

    • Luvvie December 29, 2010, 8:56 pm

      LOL no clowning. I spelled Queen as “Kween” on my Twitter profile. But there’s a difference in misspelling on purpose to be tongue in cheek and just KNOWING you’re correct but be dead wrong.

      Glad to have you! 🙂

  • 2dumb2tweet December 29, 2010, 5:17 pm

    Well, gee, I tweeted the dumbest tweets I could find for about 6 months but only ever garnered 9 followers. So two weeks ago I gave up and changed my username from @2dumb2tweet to @fradenscheude.

    I can’t believe I missed out on a popular blog entry from my failed experiment! The tweets I RT’d were dumber than most of the ones in this article. They’re still there, fwiw (unless the original tweeters deleted their tweets).

  • L Boogie December 29, 2010, 5:45 pm

    LAWD! I read this once on the way to work this morning, and cackled out loud and had several people look at me like I was insane…*shrug*…then came back to the post after seeing someone tweet “elegend deaf”…well…

    Kudos for a great post, #doe!

    • Luvvie December 29, 2010, 8:55 pm

      “Elegend deaf” just murked me. Chile…

      • Stace March 10, 2011, 3:29 pm

        Somebody translate please. WTH is “Elegend deaf” ????? English is my first and only language…

  • Tarana December 29, 2010, 5:47 pm

    This right here is one of theee funniest things I have ever read on these here internets…Wow. This is a classic. Can’t wait to share!

    • Luvvie December 29, 2010, 8:54 pm

      Thanks much! And share away! The masses must read about the foolishness we deal with on Twitter regularly!

  • RTS December 29, 2010, 6:23 pm

    I can’t effing breathe. I stopped on 19. I can’t.

    • Luvvie December 29, 2010, 8:54 pm

      19??? I hope you didn’t miss the other 8! lol.

  • Miss Patterson December 29, 2010, 6:50 pm

    Thank you for making me laugh so hard that I cried. And please, save the children. Happy New Year, y’all!

    • Luvvie December 29, 2010, 8:53 pm

      You’re welcome, Pattycakes! lol

  • I Am Your People December 30, 2010, 12:08 am

    For all egrets and porpoises, this minor well bee won of the wurst tweets of the year:

    @KimKardashian: The lightening flashed and Khloe and I thought it was camera flashes! Haha

    Dumb, tweet, iCackled at Zindzi’s response:

    @MissZindzi: Barack Obama RT @buccibandana What was the President’s name in 1975?

  • aisha1908 December 30, 2010, 12:22 am

    I’m still crying laughing… This was epic (though technically, thinking about these grammatically challenged tweeters is actually quite depressing)

  • Tam December 30, 2010, 12:50 am

    I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time. I’m over here CRYING! My husband thinks I’m crazy because I did a couch slide on to the floor while reading this post. This is exactly what I needed today so THANK YOU!

  • Luvologist December 30, 2010, 12:57 am

    I’m mad that 100+ people retweeted those misspelled tweets by Tyrese, Chris Brown, etc. ((smdh))

    • Luvvie December 30, 2010, 1:51 am

      You know folks love the drama! lol

  • @NubianCzar December 30, 2010, 2:38 am


    I died TWICE and Jesus brought me back LOLOL

    Thanks for wetting my eyes for an hour

    • Luvvie December 30, 2010, 3:05 am

      Praise 5 lb 7 oz sweet alabaster brown baby Jesus!!

      • DumbNiggerette January 3, 2011, 5:28 pm

        Jesus was white.

  • BEHM777 December 30, 2010, 12:36 pm

    I hate that I figured this out, but “sullibant” is supposed to be “celibate”. I am just glad that @slimthugga isn’t my son.

  • Shydel December 30, 2010, 2:32 pm


    This was hilarious! I love that Tyrese posts dumb shit on Twitter and has a book coming out. Makes me feel like my NYT Bestselling dreams aren’t in vain.

    My favorite dumb ass tweet was from someone who said they love watching #sesemystreet.



    • Ashley December 31, 2010, 2:39 pm

      Big Bird, Elmo, Ernie, Bert, Oscar, Cookie Monster and friends have just cried their eyes out over WHOEVER tweeted misspelling the street they’ve lived on for over 40 yrs (at least I think it’s been 40 yrs, I’m only 25)

  • Tobi December 30, 2010, 2:44 pm

    These have made my day. I am over here crying.

  • ChaoticDiva December 30, 2010, 7:55 pm

    Please forward this link to all of the above tweeters:

    It is a guide to avoiding common spelling errors in the language of dumb ass.

    I figured it would be useful.

    (*note* It was super hard for me not to add a misspelling or two for kicks, but I have a thing against that squiggly red line that displays all of my spelling errors that the aforementioned tweeters have some sort of immunity to).

  • AbdouMoumen December 31, 2010, 6:48 am

    #25 misspelling AND typo!! I mean sometimes it’s hard to control your fingers on a kainoard, but REALLY!! :p

  • @Tyrese December 31, 2010, 7:21 am

    I made the list twice? It’s a Mr. Meanor what you do people.

    • Luvvie January 1, 2011, 4:03 am

      *squints* Is that really you, Tyrese???

  • amymay December 31, 2010, 12:23 pm

    I knew reading this was certain death…

  • @NubianCzar December 31, 2010, 2:49 pm


    I died but Jesus sent me back *OhMy*

  • BAnjeeB December 31, 2010, 2:59 pm

    Just so funny! Thank you for these.

  • Chanz January 2, 2011, 8:46 pm

    I’m literally in tears, grammatical errors make me laugh so hard. This is my most favourite blog post of all times.

    (P.s in Jamaica we spell favorite as favourite)
    Just letting it be known 😉 lol.

    • Saitonne January 10, 2011, 8:36 am

      Jamaica and all the rest of the Commonwealth countries 🙂

  • mamachel January 2, 2011, 10:05 pm

    I laughed so hard I almost wet myself. My timeline has just caught on to this post and I’m dying with how they’re using the mistakes. But seriously English is a dying language .. SMH .. Escape goat?! Really wah di bumboclaat? But my favourite would have to be Self of Steam 0_o Im going to use that in an email soon and traumatize my father

  • Mali January 2, 2011, 11:31 pm

    this was pure hilarity! I thought I was alone in spotting these nuances! And so right, TYRESE does it the most whilst being so prophetic! I can’t…dead.wid.laff

  • My @ tha Hotness January 3, 2011, 1:45 pm

    Absolutely hilarious!

  • Nikki January 3, 2011, 10:59 pm

    As usual Luvvie is trying to cause me to choke ta def…..don’t appreciate it lol

  • Caspercutie January 4, 2011, 8:33 pm

    I had to catch my breath from laughing so hard at this post. Freaking hilarious!

  • Kristina Brooke January 4, 2011, 10:57 pm

    I can’t believe I just had the time to read this. I am laughing so hard. “Pedal Stool” OMGoodness! Thanks for the laugh and check out We of Hue (formerly Moms of Hue).

  • jeemz January 15, 2011, 3:58 am

    i got one for 2011:

    “#Mainchick eats flaming young & #Sidechick eats Mcdonalds …LoL”

    he meant filet mignon. and flaming young doesnt even sound appealing…

  • Erin January 20, 2011, 9:03 am

    I’m sitting here looking at my phone laughing probably looking crazy as hell…what is heights of magnesium??? Low selves of steam….escape goat??? Is this real life…it can’t be! You are hilarious!

  • Phoenix Nicole February 3, 2011, 1:49 pm

    I know it isn’t 2010 anymore, but I just ran across this tweet, and I quote, “I just mite haft to commit sue aside if I don’t get any pu**y soon…” Sue aside? I won’t even go in on the rest of the tweet… x_x #dead

    • Luvvie February 6, 2011, 12:32 pm

      SUE ASIDE???? You know what???? iCan’t.

  • TK February 10, 2011, 2:54 am

    Ok so to defend #7, that was just a simple TYPO. The letter(S) is right next to the letter(D). But as far as all the rest, they sound retarded!!!

  • Moni February 17, 2011, 10:41 am

    That was the funniest ever!!! I used to do the same thing with FB status updates! It used to piss me off, but now I just realize that people are really dumb.

  • MrsT February 25, 2011, 3:07 pm

    I know I’m super late in reading this, but it had me IN TEARS just the same. I think Tyrese was trying to say PROVERBIAL forgiver. o__0

  • Ms. Williams March 8, 2011, 10:05 pm

    That’s a mess. Which is why I check and double-check with my spell check before I give ANY tweet the green light. 😉

  • Thea April 1, 2011, 7:20 pm

    I. Can’t. #Breeve.
    Sweet Baby Jesus, help me! How I need thee Lord! ROTFL!!!!

  • zee April 6, 2011, 12:23 pm

    OMG i cried with laughter! had to take breaks inbetween as well. that bad (or good depending how u look at it!) lol worst part is i’m in actually in a silent part of the library with only one other person who by now must believe i’m insane! ah well! 😛

    great stuff!

  • ladebelle April 13, 2011, 6:49 pm

    i just can’t with the stupidity… buuuuuuut it makes for superb levels of entertainment when i’m supposed to be working…

  • Adiya May 14, 2011, 9:44 pm

    Gaddam! I have to tweet this hehehhe

  • Leo the Yardie Chick May 17, 2011, 9:53 am

    I have a fresh 2011 contender:

    @cosmonaut84 Beau Brayfield
    i stil think donald trump shuld reconsidir, he wud good this county into good place #trump2012

  • Muze May 18, 2011, 4:30 pm

    i am soooo late, but wow if this didn’t just make my day. gosh. that dumbest tweets blog just got my vote!

  • DS June 1, 2011, 4:55 am

    This shit had me ROLLING. LMFAO

  • minacakes June 1, 2011, 10:16 pm

    For the first time in my life my ability to read is a handicap b/c I had to reread some of those SEVERAL times just to understand what they were trying to say. I guess this is the new thing now- Twitterfied Anglish

    • Luvvie June 4, 2011, 8:43 am

      I really hope Twitterfied Anglish doesn’t become the new thing. I’d really weep for humanity.

  • Rachel June 14, 2011, 9:08 pm

    I don’t know what to say. Speechless…and I didn’t even have to use a dictionary to spell anything in this entire paragraph correctly. I hesitate to have children, because if they end up like any of these idiots, I will kill them. Seriously.

  • Social305 June 17, 2011, 11:22 am

    I couldn’t understand most of what they were trying to say until I read your commentary. This is sad and twitter is the DEBIL!!!!

  • monique July 30, 2011, 9:32 pm

    this post made my night! thank you……. still snickering…….

  • Crystal Case August 10, 2011, 3:07 pm

    I love this stuff! Very funny.

  • Veracity August 16, 2011, 5:29 pm

    People crack me up.

  • monique August 18, 2011, 6:17 pm

    OMG. I’m crying!

  • Candice September 4, 2011, 8:50 am

    I am sooooooooo late to this post, but boy if this didn’t make my damn day!!! I am crying! I have real tears of laughter.

  • RozB October 23, 2011, 6:31 pm

    I just have to say – why haven’t I found this site before? This was hilarious! Twitter English has found its way into the school system. My friend who is a middle school teacher showed me some papers she was correcting, and so many of them looked like texting shortcuts. SMH…

    Awesome site Luvvie. I will be back! And I will keep spell checking my tweets! ;D

  • phoenixstar9 November 23, 2011, 7:00 pm

    so glad I didn’t make this list! i was crying! lmao I hope you get the thanksgiving plate pics from tomorrow.

  • Erika December 1, 2011, 10:16 am

    You forgot to add tweets from MIKE EPPS! I had to stop following him bc I was losing IQ points reading them….smh

  • cary December 5, 2011, 8:45 pm

    ok, thank you for sharing!

  • BklynBabe January 5, 2012, 2:30 am

    The s being next to the d is the difference between sick and dick….
    Maybe that’s why all these celebs have herpes?

    ps…you may want to check out you tube comments…peep this gem

    onlyprincessRayRay I love Cars That Go Boom ! i was me and my possy wit bunny d .we were crusin in the jag or the lambregney

    onlyprincessRayRay i mean it was

    (Smh…smh again)

  • IfYouEverComeBack February 13, 2012, 10:48 pm

    Now I understand that sometimes you misspell things and not everyone has the internet browser that shows you your spelling misktakes. However if you are going to post soemthing on a public forum proof read it first. Then again some people are just idiots.

  • Cabeza Grande July 3, 2012, 10:24 pm

    Thank you. The “minus well” tweet was the proof I needed when someone doubted me that there are folks who actually think “might as well” is spelled that way. The first time I saw it I thought they were referring to a hole in the ground where you find subtraction symbols.

  • Dafra May 15, 2013, 12:04 am

    Why oh why am I just finding out about this???
    OMG you guys made my day. I could not even understand half of those tweets until you somewhat translated them back to English in your commentary. Bahahahah!

  • Phoebe November 24, 2013, 7:34 pm

    Apparently Tyrese also thinks that Pounds and Euros are the same thing

  • Phoebe November 24, 2013, 8:03 pm

    Luvvie you #shouldof put an “NSFW disclaimer”. This had me cackling in the office like the wicked witch of the west and now my boss is side eyeing me cos he knows I ain’t working

  • TheBarberLady May 27, 2014, 7:03 pm

    I can’t believe Tyrese’s “Aurthur” announcement didn’t make the cut!! Maybe that particular blunder was made in 2011.