So last night was the highly anticipated premiere of the TV show “The Game.” You know, the one that’s been off air for 2 years because CW kicked it to the curb. So fans lobbied for it like our health insurance depended on it. Yes, that one. BET picked it up and we all deep sighed and cheered at the same time. You know how BET makes us anxious. In spite of that though, we still rocked #bagginfoaf in our chairs in anticipation. The Game coming on was like Black folks’ World Series. We were HYPED about it.
So on 1/11/11, Melanie, Derwin, Malik, Jason, Kelly and Tasha Mack returned into our lives. And 30 minutes into the episode, my side-eye was ALREADY on. By the time it ended, I was looking all sorts of crazy. And I might have cussed a coupla times. Lemme break down my thoughts on it.
That first 3 minutes where they showed where each character was now was full of giddiness. 2 years passed and they not so subtly caught us up on what was happening. So Melanie and Derwin are married. Derwin is now the superstar of the Sabres, the face of Nike and all’at good stuff. Tasha Mack is managing him and stil being a ball-buster. Melanie’s doing photoshoots, including one for Essence. Derwin’s baby mama, Janae, is still there, and dropped off his 2-year old (DJ). Jason and Kelly are divorced and Jason seems mad about it. Kelly got a Rihanna haircut. Malik is still an asshole and he’s boinking… Meagan Goode!
All this happened before the credit e’em came on. I think. Iunno. But it was definitely in the first 10 minutes. NOW that we’re caught up with that, I’ma give y’all my thoughts about the show in my version of tourette’s. Nawl… I’ma ask questions instead. Because I have many.
* Sooo… Melanie really dropped outta medical school? WHY though? She wasn’t doing much.
* I know they were trying to make sure they called DJ’s paternity into question, but why did they keep using the whole “But the boy’s light skinned with curly hair” angle to do this? Since when was it impossible for 2 brown folks to give birth to a light skin baby?
* Why did the scene with Melanie, the hand puppets and the baby make me nervous? That was quite awkward.
* Terrence J is now the person dating Tasha Mack? WHY does this make me so uncomfortabo? I mean, what happened to Rick Fox? Terrence J’s a cutie. He really is. But seeing him freaked me out. I wasn’t ready for that!! AT ALL.
* Why was Tasha Mack smoking a Black and mild? I mean we know she was hood before but she’s never been THAT hood. Tasha is boughetto, but that black was just… NAWL.
* Why is this new version of Kelly Pitts’ so odd and bimboish? The way this character was before is definitely far from what she is now. I know 2 years passed bout this heffa is acting BRAND NEW. They took her whole character and flipped her upside down. And it’s sooo odd.
* Why is Kelly and Jason’s daughter super tan with black hair, when she was lighter with blondish hair before? AND wasn’t she like 8 before? Now she’s an angsty teenager, with an actress who can’t act. She musta studied at the Lisa Raye School of Acting Sassy. I ain’t like her.
* Did everyone notice how The Game was shading a couple of the reality TV shows and random gossip that exist now? Kelly was basically playing Shaunie’s character from “Basketball Wives.” And Tasha Mack with Terrence J was clearly paying homage to Lebron James’ Mama sleeping w/ Delonte West.
* Who the heck thought it was necessary for Sheree from Real Housewives of Atlanta to make that raggedy “act by” cameo to talk to Terrence J? Betchu she had to audition 3 times for that non-role too. But who gon check her when she’s getting that check?
* Why did I get verklempt when Derwin was crying when he realized DJ wasn’t his? Oh, it’s cuz he FAHN. And FAHN men crying makes me really sad. Yeah, I’m shallow.
* Who DIDN’T figure out that Malik was gon smash TT’s girl? Stevie Wonder saw that coming. And shourrout to TT’s girl for going scuba diving on Malik’s nuts. That was interesting.
* Who else wanted to mollywhop Melanie for her perpetual F*ck ups? That ending MURKED ME! She coulda told him right there and then but alas…
* Why was this show such a dumbed down version of the original, with countless cliches and even MORE drama?
* Why will I be tuning in to watch next week? Cuz I’m a glutton for punishment and I don’t learn my lesson easily.
* Are y’all SURE it’s the same writers from the original CW The Game a this one? Those characters all lost their likeability and they all seemed to be completely different from before. I understand that 2 years have passed but the characters are just…
* Is BET the devil’s headquarters and Debra Lee his right hand man? Why did I expect BET to keep the quality of the show the same? I blame myself for having higher expectations.
So what did you all think about “The Game?” Are you tuning in next week?