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The Chicken Crossed the Road and Died. MIND = BLOWN

The old age question of “Why did the chicken cross the road?” means something so new to me now. So I was loitering in Tumblr when I came across:

At first, I was all “I still don’t get it.” But that’s because I’m slow. So Bassey explained to me.  and said “a chicken crossing the road would most likely get hit by a car and die. That is the ‘other side.'”

*repeats to myself* Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What? WAYMENT! SO IT COMMITTED SUICIDE??? Because why else would it cross the road if it knows it’s gonna get hit by a car???

So all my life, this chicken’s been asking for help.  It was pretty much done with life and wanted to get dropkicked through the goalposts. It crossed the road to get to the “other side.” HAY ZEUS! Life has changed as I know it.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Don't do it, chicken. It ain't worf it!

Now I’m all verklempt. Talk amongst yourselves. Topic: why, despite this knowledge, is chicken still so delicious?

Bassey said she’ont think the chicken committed suicide. That chickens are just stupid. Iunno man… whatcha’ll think? Did your whole life just turn topsy turvy?

P.S. No I’m not under the influence of any drugs. Unless orajel counts.

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28 Comments

  1. MrsCamp
    March 11, 2011 at 1:11 pm

    How much medicine have you taken for your tooth ache???

  2. March 11, 2011 at 1:50 pm

    But that picture though!? ______/\_/\____________________________________________________________________

    • March 26, 2011 at 1:15 pm

      Your comment is perfect…*lying down to die*

  3. March 11, 2011 at 2:16 pm

    NO!!!!!!!!!! That ain’t even no joke no more. I always hated that because people would ask and I would just give them the O___O *blink twice*. So I guess the chickens would prefer roadkill over kfc??? Dang you just ruined my entire life space with this revelation. I feel sorry for the chicken……but I will have me a two-piece lata!!!!

  4. K. Lysha
    March 11, 2011 at 2:41 pm

    I went through this yesterday…felt like my world had been shaken at it’s core. Made me question everything I ever believed in life…

  5. March 11, 2011 at 2:43 pm

    I went through this yesterday…felt like my world had been shaken at it’s core. Made me question everything I ever believed in life… How could I not have gotten this my WHOLE life?????

  6. Diva
    March 11, 2011 at 2:48 pm

    Slow day huh Luvvie

  7. March 11, 2011 at 2:51 pm

    I don’t even know what to think of the world anymore!
    Chicken, it gets better!!!

    • March 12, 2011 at 12:01 pm

      lol!!!! this wouldn’t be happening if chicken had a sassy gay friend!

      • emti
        March 22, 2011 at 7:52 am

        HAHAHAHAHA

    • Nikeeta
      June 22, 2012 at 3:02 pm

      “Oh chicken, you’re being a stupid bitch!” Lol.

  8. MsMelissa!
    March 11, 2011 at 3:56 pm

    I guess he would wanna go on his own terms…I mean imagine the torture of all those KFC , Popeyes, and Bojangles everywhere. Looking at easter eggs talmbout “You got off easy” …. seeing how Dr.Kevorkian cant speak chicken…what else could he have done?????

  9. Roxie
    March 11, 2011 at 7:25 pm

    It must be hard. To be so delicious and easy to keep in a coop. If you saw how your life would end by seeing so many of your friends & family running around with their heads cut off, being hit by a car might seem like an empowering alternative.

    CHICKEN JUST WANTS A LIFE! CHICKEN JUST WANTS TO MAKE SOME DECISIONS!

  10. March 11, 2011 at 9:15 pm

    I just found the meaning of life with this post. ::continues gnawing on chicken wings::

    • Scorpiana
      March 12, 2011 at 12:58 pm

      you! have just kilt me …

  11. paintgurl40
    March 12, 2011 at 8:20 am

    i’m sorry, but i don’t believe chickens are that deep. deep fried? hell yeah…deep in thought….nah!

    • LadyLark
      July 13, 2012 at 2:03 pm

      LOL Super mad late post but Luvvie I came accross this post ‘loitering’ on your site and hit the thumbnail below yr latest post and YES, my mind was blown too.

      But to paintgurl, maybe the chicken ain’t a chicken. Ionno, Maybe some punkarse giver-upper just said stop the world, let me off and THEY really are the chicken.

      I’m Just philosophizin on some chicken…

  12. March 13, 2011 at 11:45 am

    damn, U are not the only one in the same boat. Thanks for breaking this down because I never got the meaning of this joke neither. At least the chicken gets to spend a nice, quiet afterlife fried, seasoned and sitting right in my belly.

  13. March 16, 2011 at 7:43 am

    All. My. Life.

    All my life I’ve been wondering why this was interesting… and why people kept saying it! OMG! The chicken… *puts on black veil and weeps in front of Bojangles*

  14. March 18, 2011 at 11:08 am

    Y’all are so dumb. Like, y’all are really dumb. For real. *In my Antoine Dodson voice*

    • LadyLark
      July 13, 2012 at 2:05 pm

      I know right we so dumb. I’m mad at myself…

  15. Nikeeta
    June 22, 2012 at 3:04 pm

    I feel like before the chicken crosses the road, it screams out “WHAT THESE HUMANS REALLY WANT FROM A CHICKEN!? SOMEBODY LET ME KNOW!” *marches into traffic*

  16. Travis
    June 26, 2012 at 3:39 pm

    Well the joke was first printed in 1847, well before cars were common.

    • June 26, 2012 at 3:48 pm

      As you come here w/ facts, logics and reasoning. 🙂

    • Tommy
      July 3, 2012 at 3:18 pm

      Horse and Carts were around

  17. Vince
    June 23, 2013 at 7:16 pm

    But the chicken DID cross the road. From a point to another.

  18. Dan
    September 5, 2013 at 8:37 pm

    The really mindblowing/disturbing part is that “chicken” is another word for “coward,” and the joke is actually about a human.

  19. Jordan
    December 18, 2014 at 6:39 am

    Had this realization on a bus. But the source quote wikipedia proviedes implies that wasn’t the intent of the original joke:
    ” The first known printing of this riddle was in 1847, in The Knickerbocker, a New York City monthly magazine:[1]

    …There are ‘quips and quillets’ which seem actual conundrums, but yet are none. Of such is this: ‘Why does a chicken cross the street?[’] Are you ‘out of town?’ Do you ‘give it up?’ Well, then: ‘Because it wants to get on the other side”