Dear Donald Trump, You’re a Dusty Degenerate

This week’s sternly-worded letter is truly deserved. If you don’t know why, then either you’ve been hiding under a rock or you’re related to Sarah Palin. Either one is not a good look. Let’s get into it.

Dear Donald Trump,

When you decided that you might be running for presidency in 2012, I paid no attention because I just figured you were bored. Then I started noticing you were serious and I tried to act like I didn’t notice.

THEN, you started leading what folks call “The Birthers.” This is a group of people who have so much time on their hands that they figure the way to bring down President Obama is by having folks believe he wasn’t even born here. Ma’ams, sirs… SADDOWN! You and your Legion of Losing Leaders need to have several seats and a gahtdamb sofa. \_ \_ \_ {\___/}

Donald Trump

Pic from

No one asked Bush for proof that he isn’t functionally mentally incapable. Dude started a war with “I THINK they might maybe could have bombs.” And when he didn’t find any, he went “Oh. Oops.” NO ONE ASKED HIM FOR HIS RECEIPTS! But y’all wanna ask MY President, who happens to need to be colored with the brown crayon in the box for proof that he is American.

Donald, please get the entire hell on outta here. As if the Secret Service did not put in work before the man was about to run for office to figure that out. The same folks who know what your mama’s gon name you before she does. THEY haven’t verified he was born in the U.S.? Oh. Ok.

People got priorities fucked up royally. Gas is over $4 for REGULAR and the POTUS was forced to release his long form birth certificate. It’s really infuriating to see all the crap Obama deals with, you know, besides RUNNING THE FREE WORLD. Makes my pressure SKY HIGH! iCan’t.


Besides, somebody needs to ask you for proof that his hair isn’t made from the fur of an animal on the endangered species list. You’re sitting up there looking like a busted Bald Eagle (See what I did there?). (-___-)

Hilarious Tweets Mocking Donald Trump Asking for Obama’s Birth Certificate

RT @brokentv White iPhone 4 to launch tomorrow, then insist on seeing the black iPhone 4’s birth certificate.

RT @OlDirtyBrent: BREAKING NEWS: Donald Trump demands to know what country Latifah is the queen of…

RT @MikeDrucker: Nice try, Mr. President, but if your birth certificate was made in 1961, WHY IS IT IN PDF FORMAT?!

I’ve never watched “The Apprentice” and I surely won’t start now. And I really want to boycott anything you’re associated with. The only thing you understand is money so I’d like to hit you where it hurts, your pockets.

Wait. WAYMENT! Now you’re asking for Barack Obama’s college records????? iQuit.

Ugh. You and those belligerent dummies got me offended and cranky.

Good day to you and your squirrel hairhat,

P.S. Baratunde did an AMAZING video on this topic yesterday. You gotta watch it!

What do you all think of this foolishness with Donald Trump?

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Kourtney April 28, 2011, 12:59 pm

    Squirrel hairhat. LMAO!!!!! Good day Luvvie.

  • Erin April 28, 2011, 1:10 pm

    Please do boycott. Here’s the list:

    And now he’s questioning how Obama got into Columbia and Harvard because he HEARD that Obama was a terrible student. Now he wants to see his transcripts. I WANT to laugh at this post. Really I do. But the whole situation has me ready to start shanking folks!

  • Shoni April 28, 2011, 1:12 pm

    Ha! “Legion of Losing Leaders…” I love it!

  • Sierra April 28, 2011, 1:28 pm

    Luvvie,, the first thing I noticed while scrolling down was an ad on the side that has a picture of Trump that says “President Trump? Vote here now!” Uhh i will not.

    Side note: Joy Behar had Donald Trump’s wife Melania on her show last week and Melania was basically supporting everything that Donald was saying. Then Joy was like “Well Melania did Donald ask for your birth certificate when you met him?” I was like GAHT DAMB!! Here’s the link if you want a good laugh:

    • Luvvie April 28, 2011, 1:35 pm

      That ad is annoying THE HELL outta me. UGH!

      But yesss, I love Joy Behar. She took it there!

    • Qalil Little April 28, 2011, 2:11 pm

      I don’t think he was looking to see her birth certificate with those balloons she’s sportin’. What I absolutely loved was Cher’s tweet!

      Sir Dumpsalot is ffffttttpppphhhhshhh.

      • Sierra April 28, 2011, 7:17 pm

        lawddd Cher’s tweet made me want to do the cat daddy and the dougie into an open casket!! she threw the utmost shade at Trump that day.

  • MzBrownShugah April 28, 2011, 1:49 pm

    “Squirrel hairhat” too funny. On a serious note, these people aren’t doing anything except showing how intimidated they are by President Obama. They have been trying to find dirt on this man since he was running for office. Of course now that re-election is coming around they are willing to use any tactic possible to turn voters away from re-electing him. Trump, his supporters and all those republican wack jobs are showing their true colors. They think the average american is as dumb as a door knob. We are not. So let them have their fun. Come re-election time when Obama remains our President we shall show them the true power of the people.

  • JAYE April 28, 2011, 1:53 pm

    Does this remind anyone of asking for slave passes?!

  • Corve DaCosta April 28, 2011, 2:34 pm

    i want him to run

    • Luvvie April 28, 2011, 2:52 pm

      Run for what? I hope not office.

  • Caspercutie April 28, 2011, 3:58 pm

    They said on CNN this morning, Donald Trump is a overweight, self-indulgent, simpleton.

  • Princess0889 April 28, 2011, 4:59 pm

    This is nothing but a case of money can’t buy every thing. I think it’s funny that no a soul doubted that Bush got C’s in college although most of us thought he must have been on a grading curve.

    Trump need to sweep his own porch quick trying to sweep the President’s

  • Scorpiana April 28, 2011, 8:57 pm

    Now see: is why I vote in EVERY election! Hell, I don’t even have kids and I research and vote for district school supervisors too. Hmmmph! This velociraptor with a bad combover is about to give me a migrainecauseiwannaslaphisasshard!

  • I Am Your People April 29, 2011, 12:30 am

    Wait. WAYMENT! Now you’re asking for Barack Obama’s college records????? iQuit.

    Hon, birthers are, I promise I am not joking, asking for Obama’s parents’ marriage and divorce records plus Obama’s financial aid records, transcripts, passport records, his law licence, mortgage records, credit history and blood type (I made the last one up)

    • Shoni April 29, 2011, 2:08 pm

      Did you make the last one up, or are you being prophetic?

      • Luvvie May 2, 2011, 2:27 pm

        I totally didn’t make it up. Trump DID ask for his college records. A SHAME.

    • mochazina May 3, 2011, 12:16 pm

      u forgot proof of his library card being valid.

  • DivaKattGurl May 2, 2011, 4:33 pm

    Awwwwwwwwwwwe Luvvie girl you got me in tears while I am in class reading this blog!!! OMG Now you know you are dead wrong!!! Fuck Donald and his Trump uncouth ass!


  • Adiya May 14, 2011, 9:51 pm

    Now this is apt! Loving your blog 😀

  • Danielle October 24, 2012, 12:27 pm

    You said squirrel haircut!

  • Nay October 25, 2012, 7:10 pm

    I just stumbled upon this. Cracked me up!! So true. You are too funny. Love it!

  • Chantal Jones October 26, 2012, 4:29 am

    Hey Luvvie or w/e ya name is, I like Donald Trump so guess what “YOUR FIRED!”

    • Luvvie October 26, 2012, 5:10 am

      Oh student of University of illinois using their computers w/ the URL PornHub… You better be careful outchea. O_____O