LetterMy Life

Dear Grandma, We Love You. Always.

She helped raise me. I grew up in her house. We didn’t just see her on holidays. She was ALWAYS there. In our family house. Granny would pick us up from school almost everyday. People remember her because she was an ever-present force in all our lives. My cousins would spend holidays over at Granny’s house. It was like a huge slumber party. EVERYDAY.

On her 60th birthday, all her grandkids got together to sing to her. I was 6. And I still remember the song. I think there’s tape of it somewhere. The song was lame. But awesome.
Grandma had a nickname for each of us, never forgetting, even until she died. And she called the great grandkids by the names she gave them. Kami was Ayomikun to her.

Above all else, she was anointed and really blessed. No one prayed and rejoiced in the Lord like she did. She never wavered in her faith. This cross I wear around my neck is because of her. She even built a prayer room in our backyard. Everyday at 3am, she’d get up and prostrate in front of the Lord, thanking Him for her life and for all of us. Often, naming us all one by one. That faith was SO strong. It radiated off her. It was in everything around her. Now that she’s gone, we need to keep that faith.

I have one less person praying for me everyday. One less person who loves me unconditionally. She was my last grandparent. I’ll never forget her. Not one bit.

Dear Grandma,

We prayed together as a family fervently. But you’re gone now and there’s no one to call me “Ifeoluwa mi” anymore. You loved us dearly and really wove us together. You fussed when we didn’t call enough. You fussed over us when we did call. You prayed for us. We grew up watching you pray for us at dawn.

Your faith was so strong. Your heart was so big. Your laugh was contagious. You danced with so much joy. You fought til the end. The pain was too much. You knew you had done everything you were here for. Still…

I’m devastated. Looking at your pictures now, and I smile as tears pour down my face. I’ve cried for the last day and the tears are only falling faster. My heart hurts.

Grandma, you’re really gone? I won’t see you again? REALLY?

I’ll take comfort in knowing that your life was long and well-lived. But it doesn’t make this hurt any less. You LIVED with so much joy in your heart.

Olufunmilayo Julia Faloyin. Heaven just got one more angel and Earth just lost one. Please watch over us and allow the bond you built to stay as strong.

I pray that we uphold your legacy. I pray that our faith carries us through this. I pray that we live our lives as a testament and proof of the great woman that you were. You left 1 sister, 6 children, 20 grandchildren and 11 great-grandchildren. We’ll carry you with us. Always.

Rest in Perfect Paradise, Grandma.

– Ifeoluwa yin

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38 Comments

  1. DrmKpr
    May 17, 2011 at 12:06 am

    Beautifully said….

  2. May 17, 2011 at 12:06 am

    *sheds thug tears* This was so sweet Luvvie! 11 great grandchildren? Quite the legacy

  3. Erin
    May 17, 2011 at 12:24 am

    Oh Luvvie…I’ve never met you or your grandmother, but I’m in tears right now. I don’t have to imagine what you’re going through because I went through it 3 months ago. Please accept my most sincere condolences. You and your family members should lean on each other for comfort and support and follow your grandmother’s example of faith. You are in my prayers.

  4. lana_j23
    May 17, 2011 at 12:45 am

    *hugs you* It’s never easy losing a loved one, least of all a parent or grandparent. My prayers are with you and your family. You never stop missing them but the pain will ease as time goes on.

  5. May 17, 2011 at 5:41 am

    My Condolences…it’s always hard to lose a loved one. I’m sure celebrating her is going to bring some of those laugh’s you were wanting. I’m sure you all had some great times together by the way you write about her.

  6. Shelia
    May 17, 2011 at 7:06 am

    Sending you lots of love from Texas Luvvie! In your darkest hour, God is still present and His grace will carry you and your family through this tough time. I pray that yall find comfort in His love and in the memories she left behind.

    • May 18, 2011 at 5:57 pm

      Thank you, Sheila! AMEN to that prayer!

  7. Gwen (@ashlee1969)
    May 17, 2011 at 7:55 am

    My condolences to you and your entire family. Obviously I never met you or your grandma. However, your words touched me so much that I am in tears right now. I have lost many people that were close to me. The only thing that helped me remain strong was my faith in God. So hold strong to your faith. Also know that your grandma lives on through you and all of the other members of your family. God bless.

    • May 18, 2011 at 5:53 pm

      I appreciate ya, Gwen. Granny def lives on through us all.

  8. May 17, 2011 at 8:03 am

    i’m so sorry for your loss, but so blessed by what she gave you. thank you for sharing.

    • May 18, 2011 at 5:53 pm

      Thanks, chica!

  9. May 17, 2011 at 8:17 am

    your Grandma had the kind of faith/relationship with God I strive to have. I’m on the way but I haven’t quite made it yet. Reading this though is pushing me forward

    So thank you!

    I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers and I pray that God’s peace and assurance that your grandma is with Him helps get you and your family through this time

    Much love!

    • May 18, 2011 at 5:53 pm

      Yeah her relationship with God was something so formidable. I’ve always been so amazed by it. Thank you for the prayers!

  10. Kay
    May 17, 2011 at 8:18 am

    Awww Luv Bug, I’m so sorry for your loss…Keep your faith and stay strong! *cyber hugs*

    • May 18, 2011 at 5:52 pm

      Thanks Kay! *hugs*

  11. May 17, 2011 at 8:26 am

    I am sorry for your family’s loss…God be with you. She’s beautiful and I’m sure her mega-presence will remain.

    I’m in tears (again) after reading about your love for your grandma. I wonder if she’ll meet mine up there. 🙂

    btw…my sister’s middle name is Ife 🙂

    • May 18, 2011 at 5:51 pm

      Thanks, Kween! Our grannies might be up there doing the wop together. 🙂

  12. Nana
    May 17, 2011 at 8:31 am

    Sending lots of thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

    • May 18, 2011 at 5:51 pm

      Thank you, Nana.

  13. May 17, 2011 at 8:39 am

    Luvvie my heart is heavy right now because if its one person who you know can sympathize with you right now its me. We’ve laughed and recounted many of times of how great our Granny’s were so for you to lose your grandmother so suddenly just makes me even more sad. I am sure she is looking down on you and beaming with pride. You have an angel constantly looking over you and the prayers won’t stop my friend.

    Take comfort in knowing she is with the Lord.

    Your boy in everything Ratchet!
    LaVaughn

    • May 18, 2011 at 5:50 pm

      Right?? All those stories we shared. I’m glad I have those memories of her to hold on to. She was feisty #dinnamug! And it makes me smile everytime I think about it. I appreciate you, LV!

  14. May 17, 2011 at 8:50 am

    My deepest and sincerest condolences to you and your entire family.

    • May 18, 2011 at 5:49 pm

      Thanks, Lisa.

  15. Rea
    May 17, 2011 at 11:54 am

    Luvvie!!! The biggest hugs to you! Your story reads like mine, my granny was a beautiful, praying woman who was there to love me from my birth to her passing, so from one Granny’s girl to another I cry for you, my sister. My deepest condolences to you and your family, she has left an awesome legacy and I’m quite sure she is smiling down on you all! May your grandma rest in paradise!

    • May 17, 2011 at 11:26 pm

      Thanks Rea. Granny’s girls unite! 🙂

  16. LB
    May 17, 2011 at 1:26 pm

    Ms. Luvvie,
    Beautifully written. Your love for her makes me want to love her too!
    Hold her memories very close.

    LB

    • May 17, 2011 at 11:25 pm

      Thanks, Litey!

  17. Barb Sanders
    May 17, 2011 at 2:18 pm

    Dear Luvvie,

    Thank you for sharing your grief with your Internet family. I can only speak for myself, but you have perfectly captured the special love only a grandmother can share and provide. Wow!

    I’m praying for you and your family sweetie.

    Thank God for the years and the memories. I thank God for your Grandmama because without her, I would not know you.

    Barb

    • May 17, 2011 at 11:22 pm

      Thanks, Barb. Writing helped.

  18. Ore
    May 17, 2011 at 3:12 pm

    Condolences,

    I recently lost my grandmother in Naija as well. All we can do is be grateful for the lives they had and touched those around them with.

    Your letter is touching, reminds me of the tributes we wrote/read – the emotion behind the words, stronger still.

    Just remember the love that you shared and keep on shining.

    Stay blessed x

    • May 17, 2011 at 11:22 pm

      Eya! Sorry and my condolences right back at you. Thank you.

  19. Dr. Kiti
    May 17, 2011 at 7:49 pm

    You have my condolences. I lost my closest grandparents first and though I’d never get through (not over) it. However, everyday it gets easier and they are truly gone but not forgotten. Continue to honor your grandmother ad she will always be in your heart.

    • May 17, 2011 at 11:21 pm

      Thanks, Dr. Kiti!

  20. Cammy
    May 17, 2011 at 8:00 pm

    Hi Luvvie,

    I read your blog regularly, but have never commented. I lost my granny earlier this year as well, and you could have easily been talking about her in your descriptions of your own grandmother. If I can offer you one bit of support, it’s to say that you are not without her unconditional love or prayer. Someone who loves that much and walks so steadily in faith in life can only continue to be a light to those who they loved. Whenever I’m going through a rough time or facing tough decisions, my mom is quick to remind me that my granny is going to take care of me. I’m certain that your grandmother is still looking out for you and all of her grand and great-grand children who she loved so much.

    Big hugs
    C

    • May 17, 2011 at 11:21 pm

      Thank you so much for leaving these kinds words, Cammy!

  21. May 19, 2011 at 12:53 pm

    I am very sorry for your loss and you and your family have my condolences! I’ll be praying for you!

  22. May 19, 2011 at 5:39 pm

    I’m sorry for your loss. Still, I’m glad you shared your memories with us.

  23. legitimate_soul
    May 20, 2011 at 3:26 pm

    This was beautiful. My sincerest condolences to you and yours.