I found my newest guilty pleasure in the website NoWayGirl.com. It is NOTHING but epic foolery in picture form. I came across one of their pictures and my side-eye was so strong my eyes hurt afterwards.
Wait a minute. Wait a GAHTDAMB minute. IS that a cake with pistols, shotguns, bullets and grenades??? FOR A SIX YEAR OLD GIRL??? Y’all are really putting weapons on the celebratory dessert of a little 6-year-old girl? I mean I know every little girl’s birthday cake doesn’t have to have pink flowers and princesses and barbies. But this NRA cake is NOT IT.
This is the definition of losing. WHY would they think that’s ok? I just don’t understand. Like how did the conversation where her mama ordered the cake from the bakery go?
Mercedes’ mama: Hey I’d like to order a cake for a birthday party
Bakery: That’s no problem. What would you like on the cake?
MM: Umm… can you all put like guns and bombs on a cake? Can you draw it?
Bakery: *pause* Umm sure we can. Interesting request.
MM: Yeah, she really likes weapons.
Bakery: Is she in the police force?
MM: NAW! Not yet. Maybe when she gets a bit older.
Bakery: Oh ok. Well what would you like exactly?
MM: Well, how about a couple of pistols, a shotgun and a grenade?
Bakery: Ok, we can do that in black icing
MM: That sounds good.
Bakery: What would you like the cake to say?
MM: “Happy 6th Birthday Mercedes.”
Bakery: Hmm… I think our connection went fuzzy. What did you say you wanted?
MM: *louder and slow* “HAPPY. 6TH. BIRTHDAY. MERCEDES.”
Bakery: Did you say 6th???
MM: *getting aggravated* YEAH YOU HEARD ME!
Bakery: *long pause* Umm….. ok. It’ll be ready at noon on Tuesday.
I know whoever fulfilled this order went home and told folks “You wouldn’t believe the cake someone ordered today.” The cake wouldn’t be TOO horrid if it wasn’t for a kindergartner or first-grader. Poor Mercedes. Her parents got her gangbanging on a dessert for her 6th birthday. WOMP. I hope her birthday was more peaceful than this cake is indicating cuz…
Anyway, WHOSE CAKE IS THIS??? Can we do better as a people? These are important questions.