Ices Brown: Dancing Machine

If you aren’t familiar with Ices Brown, well you need to get familiar. Her YouTube videos give me life. And by “give me life,” I mean make me cackle. Y’all can’t tell Ices that she ain’t the best dancer ever in life. And yes, I’m a lil mad her mama couldn’t spell “Isis” so…

Anyway, watch:

Confidence is awesome and I-C-E-S got a lot of it. Her #selfofsteam is off the charts. She can dance a little (read: well she’s at least on beat) and her dutty whine is greater than yours. Just admit it. I love how she fulfills her fans’ “requescesses” with such fervor too. You know she be in front of the TV watching 106 & Park ERRDAY. And taking notes.  Her and her half purple quick weave are committed to the dancing craft

Oh and Ices just thought to do her own version of “Countdown” by Beyonce. She wanted to show the world how the big girls do it (I can hear a lot of y’all saying you not claiming that. It’s aight).  Getchu a piece:

*sigh* She be trying. She REALLY tries. And Ices just gon wear that schmedium top that won’t stay up while she gets her twurk on? I mean, it ain’t schmedium on most people but on HER it is. That’s a size “blanket” but who gon tell her? I spent the whole time watching this praying to the YouTube gods that her top didn’t fall. They heard my cry.

Sidenote: This isn’t shade but dang she got a big face. Ices’ face takes up the whole screen. And doesn’t it look like her facial features are all squozed in the middle of her face? I mean they got extra room to spread. Why are they all tight?

I ain’t e’em gon talk bout the vid of Ices juking in her purple underwear to Dru Hill.

Oh Ices…

One of my commenters @SincerelyAlana said: “with all of this dancing she’s doing, shouldn’t she have lost at least a pound or two? Just asking.” See? I ain’t wanna say nothing but umm… yeah I wondered the same thing. I’m a little concerned for Ices’ health. But this is good exercise.

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  1. sincerelyalana
    October 11, 2011 at 7:14 am

    She kills me with the introduction, “HEY WHAT’S UP BOO BOO, WHAT’S UP? This is ya gurl Ices Brownnnn” *smacks lips* Her self-esteem is through the freaking roof. When she did the video to Run The World outside in her driveway, I was done. lol

    *whispers* all of the features on her face are way too close together. It’s like they’re having a meeting in that one area on her face.

    *whispers more quietly* with all of this dancing she’s doing, shouldn’t she have lost at least a pound or two? Just asking.

    • October 11, 2011 at 11:20 pm

      LMAOOO!!! That intro is everything. She can’t wait to let y’all kno she is here and ready to fulfill “requesses.” And girl… she needs to lose come ounces w/ all this twurking.

  2. B_Keps
    October 11, 2011 at 7:42 am


    We just gonna let this young lady continue to cook? We’re gonna allow her gchat to ping while she records “dance” videos? It’s ok for her to just let her “cor’ography” blossom into the countdown video? We’re gonna ignore how her hands were doing 2 when Bey was saying 8? And the “cor’ography” includes her pulling her extra smedium top up while she tries to pop it for a goon?


    Oh. Ok.
    This is why we can’t have nice things. *flips table* *walks out room*

    • October 11, 2011 at 11:19 pm

      We gotta let her cook. I bet she cooks a lot. And eats. Ok I ain’t going down this path w/ u. I need my VIP tic into those Golden Gates of Glory. But yeah. Ices and her lack of counting ain’t gon make me lose my ticket.

    • Stephanie
      October 21, 2011 at 11:47 pm

      I peeped the “cor’orgraphy” and the lack of knowing how many fingers to hold up….. BWWWAAHHHAAAA! I’m sorry, but this is not the way to promote self-esteem, someone needs to shoot her down and quick. No Boo boo, dancing is NOT yo niche!

  3. Jazz
    October 11, 2011 at 7:46 am

    “Hey this your girl Ices Brown aka Ices Brown” SMH

    I need for her to get some clothes that fit AND a bra would be great.

    I wonder if people really enjoy her , or are they just making fun of her?

    • October 11, 2011 at 11:18 pm

      Ices needs a mentor.

  4. Serenity
    October 11, 2011 at 8:08 am

    I am not going to trample on this queen’s self esteem. She is out there doing her thing and I will give her a standing ovation!!!! Dance Gurl!!!!

    • October 11, 2011 at 11:18 pm

      You’re so kind.

  5. emti
    October 11, 2011 at 8:41 am

    So y’all gon’ just ignore the ab roller in the background of that first video? ok then.

    • yadi
      October 11, 2011 at 10:58 am

      i have sooo many questions (including the ab roller) but I refuse to talk about anyone as i am 8 mos pregnant and my child is not gonna come out lookin like Gizmo….i simply can not!

      • October 11, 2011 at 11:11 am

        *weeps gently*


      • emti
        October 11, 2011 at 2:55 pm


      • October 11, 2011 at 11:17 pm

        LMAO!!! You can talk bout her in 2 months after you’ve safely given birth to an adorabo baby. I’ll wait for you. lol

    • margaret
      October 11, 2011 at 9:05 pm


      In one of her other videos there is a bottle of Summer’s Eve wash on the dresser behind her.

      • October 11, 2011 at 11:13 pm

        Oh yeah I peeped that. Lawd…

    • October 11, 2011 at 11:18 pm

      Maybe it belongs to someone else??? I mean, it must…

      • Stephanie
        October 21, 2011 at 11:48 pm

        Naww, its hers. All that dancing and pop locking, she gotta stay fresh. O_0

  6. October 11, 2011 at 11:13 am

    I. . . .

    We.. . .

    I give up.
    *walks out with confused look on face*
    I just dont know what to say.

    in. her. drive. way? I must see that.

    • October 11, 2011 at 11:17 pm

      Pretty murch. SMH

  7. October 11, 2011 at 12:45 pm


    I got a couple questions..
    1) Why Ices act shocked with every request she gonna do? My fans wan me to do Countdown by Beyonce?? OHHHHHHHHHH…
    2) Why did that shoulder sweater turn into a piece of floss? I mean was that supposed to be an Extra Smarge on a normal sized person?
    3) I love the big girls with confidence but are they manufacturing and bottling Ices’ confidence as yet and selling that shit in SkyMall?
    4) Why come Ices gone open her extra crispity crunchy black inner thighs and introduce us to em??
    5) I was nervous for that top hanging on for dear life bruh..

    • October 11, 2011 at 11:16 pm

      *escorts you off my blog* You don’t know how to act. NOT ONE BIT!!!!

  8. LB
    October 11, 2011 at 2:04 pm

    Yer Most Awesomelynessis?
    Is there an official term for females whose belly sticks out farther than their boobs do?

    L “That Ain’t Right!” B

    • October 11, 2011 at 11:16 pm

      We like to call those “BootyDos.” Her belly sticks out more than her booty do.

      • LB
        October 12, 2011 at 1:02 pm

        That’d give new meanin’ to …
        “Front ta Back”

        L -______- B

  9. Jeauxdi
    October 11, 2011 at 2:23 pm

    No but real talk with all this dancing, how is she not losing weight?!

    • October 11, 2011 at 11:15 pm

      THIS is the $10 million question.

  10. ConshusMama
    October 11, 2011 at 2:43 pm

    Bless her HEART!!!

    She got all the confidence in the world, how she made it through the media madness that tells her she ain’t the tea is remarkable.

    Her father probably tells her everyday: “You’re not fat, you’re beautiful!”

    • October 11, 2011 at 11:15 pm

      Bless her heart indeed. Oh Ices…

  11. NeicyRox
    October 11, 2011 at 4:07 pm

    Well…Ices-the ghetto plural for ‘ice’- Brown has gump. And razzamatazz by the gallon, but I can’t get behind it. That, my love, is not how ‘Plus size does it’. ‘Which size?’ is my first question.
    Not coming for nor shading anyone over weight at all, but baby girl…BABY GIRL! Please stop. You p-popping for pimp and he don’t evemmuch have a dollar fa ya.

    Jesus wept.

    • October 11, 2011 at 11:15 pm

      “Baby Girl.” You use that term loosely, I see.

    • Brianna Leigh
      October 12, 2011 at 7:09 pm

      I was hoping that her parents actually meant to name her Isis, like the Ancient Egyptian goddess.
      But you right.

  12. October 11, 2011 at 5:06 pm

    I’m mad because I weigh about a Television set less than her and she still can pop it better than me.
    -____- #ThatAintRight

    • LB
      October 11, 2011 at 6:13 pm

      Yer Welcome!

    • October 11, 2011 at 11:14 pm

      You aint sh*t. Not a TV set less. LOLLLL

  13. Margaret
    October 11, 2011 at 9:03 pm

    I held my breath while watching the “Countdown” video. If that top fell down, I’d need smelling salts to wake up.

    • October 11, 2011 at 11:14 pm

      Girl I did the same. I felt like if I breathed too hard, it’d come down.

  14. Roxie
    October 12, 2011 at 1:21 am

    The fat hate makes me sad.
    I’m sure if she was thin the shade wouldn’t be as dark.

    • adwoa
      October 12, 2011 at 2:05 pm

      i had a similar thought. but i am also struggling with the fact that we are all the keepers of our own public image in the age of youtube. meaning that while i don’t condone fat shaming, it’s hard NOT to indulge in “i KNOW you know better than to act a damn fool on the internet” shaming. distinguishing between body type (not cool to mock) and choices (open season!) means that ices is walking a fiiiiine ass line here.

      • aStatesman
        October 14, 2011 at 12:46 pm

        If she was this the shade would still be dark, there just wouldnt be a lot of it. Her size is casting a pretty large shadow.

      • October 26, 2011 at 9:53 pm

        I agree with Adwoa 100%, and I say this as a certified fat woman with a website myself. She can’t actually dance, and I have seen people give up the respect to women of any size who really show that they have skills. She just doesn’t, in my opinion.

    • October 26, 2011 at 12:02 am

      its not fat hate. shes clearly an unhealthy size. she can barely lift up her arms to dance and i use that term so damn loosely. its a disdain for not only her unhealthy behavior but that same behavior doesn’t seem to be getting her to a healthy size either.

  15. TC
    October 12, 2011 at 1:48 pm

    I inhaled sharply during “Countdown”. I couldnt watch the video to the end cos that tube top was just victimising me.

    But lawd I died during during her floor routine in “Ride”….*real tears*

  16. donell
    October 13, 2011 at 12:04 am

    icesessss – baby gurl – you know haters gone hate. just keep shakin whatcha mama gave ya!

    and the rest of yawl best watcha moufs fo evangelist charlette sic kang jeezus on aaaaallll yawl for talmbout her offsprang.

    mmmmm hmmmm.

    get it icessessss!

    ::index fanga raised as i hustle out the side door::

    • Brianna Leigh
      October 13, 2011 at 7:30 pm

      Her mom didn’t give her that, high fructose corn syrup did.

  17. confused
    October 13, 2011 at 9:48 pm

    Where is her momma daddy auntie memaw cousin..somebody anybody cause i reqquuueesstted that this madness stop!

  18. That Rascal
    October 18, 2011 at 6:39 am

    lmao at the whale trying to imitate a person…….OH that IS a person……well i never 0_0

  19. sheryl
    October 19, 2011 at 12:12 am

    I think her fans making requeses might be “chubby chasers” or whatever you call em.

  20. Stephanie
    October 21, 2011 at 11:39 pm

    ON THE FLOOR HOLLERINNNNN! Who told her she could do this? Who made these requesses? And Luvvie the big face commentary and “squoze” up facial features…iCANT!!! LMAO!

  21. October 25, 2011 at 6:57 am

    *o* *O* *0* *_* O_O O_o

    Just showing you my range of facial features watching this stuff. my husband asked why my mouth was open. just – wow.

    • October 26, 2011 at 3:46 pm

      LOL You so expressive

  22. Datt Gurll P00ch
    January 4, 2012 at 10:39 am

    All Ya’ll Hatin on ices Because she can get down ! Just because she big dnt mean uh Dammn thang so all Ya’ll needa cutt duh shiid outt’ Deuces…