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Tyrese Concerts Tickets Are on Groupon. WOMP.

I got my Groupon deals email this morning and what do I see?

Tyrese Concert on Groupon

Our favorite non-speller’s concert tickets are being Grouponed. WELP.

For a low low price of $36, you too can go see Tyrese croon in concert. 140 people stuck in the ’90s have taken advantage of this offer. WHO’S NEXT?

Unless he’s gonna sing the Coca-Cola jingle he did on the back of that bus, I’m not interested. Besides, for $36, I could get 3 rolls of my favorite sushi. NOPE. I got better things to spend that money on.

Bless his heart, though. This concert’s tickets must be moving like a tortoise with a sprained ankle. It’s gon be him, his band, his mama and his cousins at the concert. The Arie Crown Theater is where my high school graduation was, by the way. The place ain’t an arena so this is just even more sad.

Help his marketing team out, y’all. What else could Tyrese do to improve ticket sales?

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  1. May 7, 2012 at 10:48 am

    Real talk: “Stay” is a brilliant fuckin song. Too bad the rest of the album is so bad. And too bad no one likes Tyrese since he joined Twitter. Dude can blow tho…

    • Theonly1
      May 7, 2012 at 11:33 am

      Love “Stay”! Almost sung as beautiful as that Coke commercial….

  2. May 7, 2012 at 10:50 am

    I can’t even hate, cause I got my Van Hunt tickets from them as well…And I love me some, Van Hunt….lol

  3. naturalista88
    May 7, 2012 at 11:00 am

    “As with feeling ants in your pants or getting your belt caught in a cotton-candy spinner, the fusion of hip-hop with soul causes hips to move.”

    WTH wrote this crap? Seriously, I can’t w/the description on that page, calling that man an “R&B titan.” Oh, okay (-_-).

  4. May 7, 2012 at 11:23 am

    his marketing team is unhelpable at this point. If you are going to go the Groupon route, it means that it’s time Jesus took the wheel!

  5. vanitaapplebum
    May 7, 2012 at 11:58 am

    As an intimate (read: small) venue concert promoter, using Groupon to insure the financial aspect of the concert is secure (i.e. I will at least break even between sponsorships and ticketsales) is a no brainer. The audience gets a deal and I don’t lose my shirt. Seriously, Tyrese probably has no idea these tickets are being offered through Groupon. But its kinda fun to roast his twitter meanderings anyway – LOL!

  6. vanitaapplebum
    May 7, 2012 at 11:59 am

    BTW, Glad you are back.

  7. Bri
    May 7, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    So I know the promoters for this concert and uhm just sent one of them a text like did you know?!

    For real……smh…..I would support but a chick gonna be with 100bmc that night, lol….I think Ramoski may be more entertaining


  8. Kate
    May 7, 2012 at 1:29 pm

    God, he needs so much help. And honestly, he needs to get on his knees and thank Buddha/Krishna/Flying Spaghetti Monster that Twitter is around to keep people talking about him. Ok, I’m gonna break this down and hope it helps the poor lad:

    1) Take his Motorola Pager away from him so that he stops writing his own texts. He can send them to someone with a degree (any kind of degree, English degree, Law degree, third degree burns, anyone who knows a conjunction from their arse) and have them a) translate into English b) screen for content. “Look Tyrese, I get what you’re saying, that hip hop puts the swerve in your hips and a groove in your soul. But this sh*t you wrote makes jack sense. Jack. Nawl, I’ll write it my way. Put the pager down!”

    2) Will someone love him enough to sit him down and say “You are not Deepak’s hip cousin, giving us advice in the form an enigma wrapped in a puzzle, slathered generously with misspellings and served with mystery meat helps. no. body. Stop. Now.”

    3) Most people would rather buy a massage than go listen to you perform live. Massages at run down joints with health code violations get more Groupon love than a Tyrese concert. Learn from that, sir. Get people in a room and say “Let’s do something with this here, I’m actually open to ideas that will grow my brand” – don’t get heated if 7 out of 3 walk out, you have an uphill battle baby.

    4) If all else fails, print out his last one thousand tweets on paper, get him in a room and rub his nose in them while saying “No. Bad Tyrese.” Maybe that’s how he learns.


    • May 7, 2012 at 11:32 pm

      I’m SLAYEEEEEED by your whole comment. Find me at the nearest mortuary closest to you!!!

  9. Marsha S. Haneiph
    May 7, 2012 at 5:16 pm

    Poor Tyrese, I feel for him and his never ending struggle for intelligence. Some of the dumbest people I’ve ever met were really good actors. Maybe he needs to stick to acting and give the music thing a little rest.

    • Bpurpleb001
      May 21, 2012 at 7:23 pm

      But he’s not a good actor.

  10. May 16, 2012 at 11:19 am

    Now, this is a little sad to see concert tix selling on Groupon, or isn’t it? I agree with Marsha…he may just want to stick to acting. Good voice but Groupon?? Nah!