It’s been two weeks since the last episode of Scandal, so you know I was scratching my neck like a crackhead who needed a hit. I was SO READY for it. Now, I don’t even have the words to articulate how this episode of Scandal had me losing my mind. And I cannot deal with the voodoo the Scandal writers do every week, especially in the last 3-5 minutes. So I’m not e’em gon try. Let’s just talk about this episode. For it gave me everything.
As always, get off this bus here if you haven’t watch this episode and don’t want spoilers. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Fixing the David Rosen Problem – We pick up in the meeting room with Mellie, Olivia, Cyrus, Vera and Hollis (the League of Goons, as I call them). They’re talking about their David Rosen problem and Olivia says she’ll fix it.
David gets called to his office, expecting to get fired. Instead, his boss says he went to bat for him and he can be gainfully employed again on the condition that he stops obsessing over the Quinn-gate case. Well played, Liv.
The Dead Contractor – Olivia’s summoned to the house of the Governor of Maryland, who’s killed his contractor. He tells Liv he walked in and saw the dude raping his wife, Joan, so he shot him in the head. However, Joan, has since showered, which she should not have done before having a rape exam, disobeying Liv’s instructions. WHEN OLIVIA POPE SAYS DON’T SHOWER, YOU STAY FUNKY!
Olivia’s the Fixer – The Governor, his lawyer and Olivia talk about how this should be handled in the media and the lawyer suggests that they make the Gov out to be a hero. Liv thinks they should just tell the media to respect their privacy as they move forward. However, when she speaks at the press conference, the lawyer disregards Olivia’s advice completely.
Olivia confronts the Governor and he pouts about how he lost the election for Presidency because of her. Sir, pull up your britches. Your punk bishness is showing.
David’s Not So Fixed – Although David has his job back, he’s still wondering what happened with Quinn-gate. While him and Abby are canoodling, he says he’s meeting with some possible informant who might tip him off.
Woman Who Cried Rape – As the Gladiators dig deeper into the lives of the Governor and Joan, they find out that the contractor who died was actually Joan’s side-piece and was unclogging her pipes along with those of the house. When the Governor walked in on them in act, her hoshit came to light, she panicked, yelled rape and side-boo got shot. SCANDALLLLL!
Squabble in the Press Room – Cyrus is mad that his husband, James, is now working as a press correspondent at the White House. During a press conference, James asks Cyrus a question and is brushed off quickly. When he doesn’t let his question die, Cy shuts him down and moved on to another reporter. Chile, it was testy in that press room. No pun intended.
Protecting the Hero – Now that Joan’s affair is out and it’s found that her false cry of “rape” is what led to the murder, Liv asks the Gubnor what he wants to do. She advises him that they tell the police the truth so he can be off, although it means Joan will be imprisoned. He tells her that the world thinks he’s a hero and he wants to keep it that way. Oh. O_O
Vera’s Hospital Visit – The Supreme Court justice, Vera, is in the hospital again. As she’s being discharged, Olivia shows up. Liv tells her “I prefer to think that anything can be fixed.” She says “Then you’re a fool.” WELP.
Just 4,359 – Liv talks to Joan privately and the Govnah’s wife tells her how she cheated because her hubby hasn’t been the same since the presidential election he lost. 4,359 votes stopped him from taking the office and he has become a shadow of his formerly self because of it. And he partly blames her for it. The Governor lost the presidency by 4,359 votes and lost his shit? Damb. Someone check on Mitt Romney. He lost by 4 million. OOP.
Mellie Wants Out – The First Lady says she no longer wants to meet with the League of Goons and that she wants out. Cyrus tells her “You wanted a seat at the table. Well you have it.” Ma’am, you can’t just leave the ILLUMIGOONI when you want. You gotta see this through! Cyrus SNATCHED her wig properly though.
Also, I was at the Essence Black Women in Hollywood Luncheon in LA in February where Shonda Rhimes was one of the honorees. Her award was presented by the head of ABC (yes, the network) and the woman said that Shonda doesn’t just have a seat at the table. They gave her the whole table. I love how the writers of Scandal mirrored that.
Joan’s Ride or Die – David shows up at Olivia’s office with a warrant for the Governor’s arrest. Somehow, he got word of the fact that in the weeks leading up to the contractor’s death, he had received angry emails from the Gov. However, Joan decides to turn herself in, admitting that she was at fault for wrongfully crying rape.
Olivia says NAWL – Senator Davis, Liv’s ex, has been calling her to ask her out. When he shows up at her office, she says a soft NAWL, saying she’s not ready. And that when she is, she’ll let him know. You know she’s still fiending for President Ghost.
Abby Trips on New Info – Our boy, Huck, found him a lady at his Alcohol Anonymous meetings and he has a date with her. As the Gladiators try to dress him up for the occasion, Abby goes to his computer and sees a note on it with the time and date of the meeting David had. She figures out the person he met with was a plant. LAWD, ABBY.
Governor’s a Shrew – While in the Governor’s office looking for something to write on, Liv finds a picture in one of his files. It’s of Joan and the contractor. HE KNEW ABOUT THE AFFAIR AND SET HER UP TO TAKE THE FALL FOR THIS MURDER! That bitter summabitch was really butthurt about the campaign he lost, and this was his way of winning. Ain’t that about something???
Unwinding Like They Know How – Cyrus visits Liv because he’s mad at his boo, and the two of them unwind over a glass of wine. Liv tells him “I don’t like it when they bad guys get away.” He replies with “Then you shouldn’t come to Washington.” Well damb.
Huck takes his date to go spy on a random family having dinner to show her what he does for fun. That’s not creepy at all. O____O
Snitches Get Stitches? – Since the dude David met up with was basically useless for the information he needs, he decides to give up the witch hunt. As he takes down his Olivia shrine in his living room, Abby barges in to tell him what she found on Huck’s computer. Including something about voting machines. DAMBIT, ABBY!
But wayment. Turns out that Olivia knew Abby has been on some traitorous shit. Next thing we see is Huck and Liv in a room listening to what Abby was telling David. OLIVIA GAHTDAMB POPE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!! I am HERE for the Grand Goontress of Gubment!
And then afterwards, I thought so wait. Did the League of Goons. Did they screw the governor outta 4,359 votes??? Is that why he lost??? This is SO DEEP! And one of my followers said:
OMG! That makes SOOOO much sense! This episode is called “All Roads Lead to Fitz” but NAWL! All roads really lead to the League of Goons, who are really running things!
Rigged election. Having no real power and having all his strings pulled by others. President Fitz is basically Dubya from 2000. WELPY.
And this also makes sense why this episode did not run before the Presidential election on Tuesday. This makes PERFECT sense. I get you, Shonda! I GET IT! This was too much tea!
This is deeper than the Pacific! This story gets more layers every week and I’ont know how deep it can go. Alls I know is that I AM HERE FOR IT! 15 minutes after the show went off, I was still sweating like Tyrese at a spelling bee! WHOOO! Scandal knows how to get me, lawd!
But yes, whatcha think of this ep?