Twitter has been proving that children were indeed left behind since 2006. This is why DumbestTweets.com exists and is never out of material. There are currently 400 posts sitting in drafts and over 1,700 posts have been published.
Anywho, it’s about that time of the year where I am tasked with the super tough job of narrowing down all the grammatically-challenged and logic-lacking tweets that were posted this year into a measly 50. It’s like having to pick a pair of shoes as my favorite. SO. HARD. But I did it.
You can check out past years’ lists of Dumbest Tweets.
50 Dumbest Tweets of 2012: Part 1 (in no particular order):
Alter eagle? Lemme find out Twitter gives her wings. O__o
LAWD, HELP YO’ CHILDREN!!! “Who he kill the 1st time???” *faints*
3. RT @_goddamnjas: Zoe Saldana is pretty but she’s anne or resick! She needs to eat!
So do we know if she’s anne or if she’s resick?
4. RT @megatronjr: My girl gave me an ulta mate him. Give her my password to my macbook or break up. What do i do
First thing you need to do is start paying attention to the red squiggly line. Not ultimatum but ULTA MATE HIM??? Chile… iCan’t.
5. RT @TaeAnt11: Wait. Obama got 64 states & Romney got 40???? Bitch we only got 51 states!!
But… that’s not e’em… *deep sigh*
I’d rather quit than give up because I’m unable to deal.
7. RT @if_itaint_b: Derrick Rose trying to speak on National Television like he doesn’t have a speech peppermint
Maybe he wanted to keep his speech fresh? O_O Sir, that is IMPEDIMENT. Womp.
8. RT @___SDJ: Scissors?! This is what the lesbian race has come too?! Sticking scissors in each other?!
So Lesbianism is a race now? Have they added this to the census forms? I’m just asking.
9. RT @KeishaCakesXXX: WET LIKE DA SPECIFIC OCEAN!!
Which one in particular is she talmbout? She’s gotta be more #pacific. O_O Also, why are you hollering?
I hate everything.
11. RT @razorramon_: salary and ranch taste good as shit!
I heard wages and Italian was also delicious. O_O
12. RT @Justcam21: I can’t wait to cut the andbuildadacord when my daughter is born
The andbuildadacord??? Do you build a bear with it??? How do misspell umbilical to this point?
13. RT @brownlady25: To my calculation if I save $38 each week, I can have a million with in 3 yrs! Sounds like a plan to me!
Unless there are new math rules or each year is now dumb long, this is just the wrongest! *sigh* Maybe her calculator broke.
No, your shirt is not in Arabic. Jesus be a fence and a Rosetta Stone set for this child.
15. RT @Bj843: U gon get what’s coming to you tho… Caramel is a bitch.
And nougat is a ho. O_o
16. RT @IPhone_Jerome: Jim Jones bout to merry Kimbella congrats on there In gadge mint black love is beautiful
So much foolery so little time. In gadge mint? In what world does that even sound ok??? And this person’s lack of respect for punctuation of any kind is a mess. Fail all over.
17. RT @citychamp: damn whitney houston oddtopsee results came back… cocaine.
ODDTOPSEE??? Do you think that red squiggly line means “good job?” Sir… AUTOPSY. I can’t e’em… Nawl.
*lays my burdens down because I am TAHD*
19. RT @DannySwift: Shaq got his doctor It’s degree. #swag
Who is Doctor It and how do you get a degree from him? Because surely this fool didn’t mean doctorate. SURELY! O_____O
20. RT @rayplusray: Our generation has made a mochary of marraige.
And you have made a mockery of spelling. Sit down.
21. RT @itsjust_Ashley: Charlotte dumb ass. RT @Latron_James: What’s the pig’s name from Charlotte’s web?
You both fail. Go straight to the corner. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.
You got an A talmbout “Mooy being?” NO MA’AM! We do not believe you! Please present more people and some receipts.
23. RT @CocoMuffen: gotta go see my ghanacolleges today
GHANACOLLEGES. Say it out loud multiple times. This fool meant “gynecologist.” WHEN I TELL YOU I AM DONE??? LMAOOOOO!!! Ma’am, you’re not going to Accra to research universities. Have a firm seat!
24. RT @__Mookie: Dude asked me if we can meet up for a cap of chino lmao…GAY
A cap of chino, though? CAP OF CHINO? The fact that your dumb ass thinks being asked out for a CAPPUCCINO is gay is why you can’t have nice things.
Theo, that is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. And this is why Tony Gaskins got dragged on Twitter for hours!
Anywho, this is part 1. Here’s Part 2. If you’re wondering where Tyrese is on this list, don’t fret. I’ll be coming out with a 20 dumbest celebrity tweets that really should be titled “Things Tyrese Says.”
In case you’ve missed past lists, check them out here:
For your daily fix, you can always check out Dumbest Tweets. Thanks to everyone who submits these tweets because it truly does take a village to find this foolishment. You can submit them directly to the Tumblr.
So which of these slayed you the most?