Nobody Likes Babies Was a Game Changer: Scandal Episode 213 Recap
I know. I know. Every week, I start with how much Scandal has slayed me, but truly, this last episode left me trapped in a glass case of emotions and only Shonda Rhimes has the key to get me out! It had me so spent that I had to go take a shower afterwards to get my wits back. I wish I was exaggerating. No one show should have all this power.
Also, it must be said that Scandal is different from a lot of other shows I’ve watched because the writers do not drag their feet on storylines and keeping us guessing. They answer the questions we have from the previous episodes in like the first 10 minutes of the episode and create brand new ones for us to pull out our hair over. Anyway, let’s get into the tea, because there was A LOT OF IT.
Saved By the Huck – Last episode ended as the elevator door was closing on Hollis and Charlie, who was sent to kill him, by Cyrus. This episode starts as Huck gets into the elevator just in time to pull out a gun and tell Hollis he’s saving him on behalf of Olivia Pope. Dang. I was looking forward to Hollis dying. Shucks. Better luck next time.
America’s Baby – President Ghost and Mellie are taking pictures in the Oval Office with “America’s Baby” to present a cutesy First Family.
The moment the cameras turn off, Mellie calls the nurse and hands the kid over. And then uses hand sanitizer. She’s clearly not here for that child! When the office empties out, Fitz says he wants so make sure he can see the kids after the divorce. “What makes you think I’ll ever agree to a divorce?” He gets in her face with a threatening “DO. NOT. PUSH. ME.” Cuz he’s close to the edge. He’s trying not to lose his head. Aaahhhh. *Harlem shakes*
Plans Foiled and Making Out – Olivia visits Cyrus’ office to tell him she stopped his plan of killing Hollis. A semi-apologetic Cyrus says he won’t do it again. Ghost enters right after and when him and Liv lock eyes, Cyrus excuses himself and leaves because he knows those two see each other and cannot function. “Olivia.” “Mr. President.” And then they started making out like teenagers at a Sadie Hawkins dance.
When they come up for air, he tells Olivia that he knows Mellie induced her labor and jeopardized their baby just to manipulate him and he is hellbent on getting the divorce. Even if she still plans on marrying Senator Pudding Pop. But he asks her to wait for him and she says she’ll think about it.
Verna’s Found Out – The Gladiators are still wondering who paid Becky to kill the President. As they put the clues together about the burner phone that Verna tipped them off about Hollis having, Liv leaves. She ends up at the hospital to see her. Justice V is looking like she’s about to keel over at any moment.
Olivia tells her she knows she did it and Verna sings like Julie Andrews in the Sound of Music. She immediately admits to it and says she did it for America. Ma’am, if you wanna do something for America, pay extra taxes. She then challenges Liv to blow the whistle on her. “If I’m already going to hell, then why not?” The devil is rolling out Verna’s welcome carpet.
Liv leaves and immediately, Judge Dred picks up the phone and calls David Rosen. What is she bout to do? Ma’am, just steal away to Jesus and stop making more trouble!
Bobblehead and Spilled Beans – Olivia had a bobblehead doll placed in David’s apartment when he started digging into how Lindsey/Quinn got acquitted for the Citron incident. They needed to find out what info David knew, so Huck brings up the bobbledoll. Abby’s surprised because she had no clue and knows there’ll be recordings of her trysts with him. The person monitoring the tapes brings them all in and they move to listen to it to find out key info on what David knows about the rigging, with the instruction that they bring any CDs with Abby’s X-rated activities straight to her. The CDs stacked up on Abby’s desk (ew), as the Gladiators uneasily side-eye her.
Verna Ain’t Make It – President Ghost goes to see Verna, preventing a waiting David from getting into the room. He opens the door and calls the doctors to say she’s coding. VERNA DEAD, THEIR DIVA GONE! Rest in peace, girl! Founding Member of the League of Goons! You will not be remembered fondly.
Mellie’s Not Having It – First Lady ain’t really here for all this divorce talk that Fitz’s been doing. She pulls Cyrus to the side and says if Prez Ghost goes public with this, she will shake EVERY table in the entire District! “I will bury him and I will dance on his grave.” WELL DAMB.
It’s Too Late – James is at the park with his new baby girl when David shows up asking him to testify with the details of the election rigging. James tells him that he is out of the journalism game and isn’t interested. David tells him he doesn’t have a choice, because what he found in Defiance is the entire case and his testimony is necessary. Cyrus’ boo says he wants to tell David to forget everything he told him. Sir, that ain’t how it works. NAWL.
Memory Card is Key – After listening to hours and hours of recorded convos of David Rosen, Huck finds that the main piece of evidence he has is the memory card from the rigged machine. That card MUST be snatched! Come on and make yourself useful, Abby!
Subpoenas for Snitches – Cyrus is in bed when James gets home and throws the subpoena he was served at him. He is being forced to testify in front of a Grand Jury about what he knows and found out about the rigged election. Cyrus asks him what he did and he says he didn’t do anything to get it. YES YOU DID! YOU SNITCHED ON YOUR HUSBAND’S LEAGUE OF GOONS! That subpoena was earned! Cy asks him what he’s gonna do and he says “If I answer his questions, you go to jail. If I don’t answer his questions, I go to jail.” (Rock)JAMES(hard place).
But before they can continue their conversation, Cyrus insists that James take off all his clothes so he can make sure he’s not wearing a wire. Who can blame him? He was betrayed. James asks him to do the same, and they both angrily take off their clothes until they’re wearing nothing but scowls. And I laughed. Because I’m 5.
“If you love me, show me who you are!”
“What do you want me to say?”
“Tell me you stole the White House.”
“I STOLE THE WHITE HOUSE!”
Cyrus’ motivation behind working so hard (and cheating) to get Fitzgerald Grant in office was that he wanted his name in the history books. HE wanted to run the country and he never will get the chance to and Chief of Staff is the best he knows he can get. Because “I’m very short, I’m not so pretty and I like having sex with men.” DAMB. Deeper than rap.
James listens to all of this and then says he’ll be sleeping in the baby’s room. The look of helplessness on Cyrus’ face and how he was crying with snot coming out his nose broke my heart. THIS was a phenomenal scene. The writers put their FOOT on them script pages. It helped that those two actors are amazing too.
Wanting that Old Thing Back – Abby takes all the CDs of her and David’s *coughs* exchanges home and replays the part where he tells her “Abby, I love you” over and over again. I thought she was gon make it her ringtone. But it’s clear that she wants him back. She starts pondering over what happened between them and it hits her that Olivia Pope might be behind their breakup. She storms into the Gladiator office and asks her if she paid David’s ex to lie about how he hit her and Liv gives her a straight “yes.” Then she realizes that Harrison was also in on it. As she storms out, Harrison goes after her to say he did as he was told and she will basically deal because Liv has saved them all. Harrison is GOOD for snatching someone’s wig. Most weeks, it’s Olivia’s. This is Abby’s turn. My boo (sharrap!) is so loyal and I love it.
Abby does what she wants anyway and shows up to David’s house with kisses and stuff. Lawd.
Pull Last Cards – Liv calls Cyrus to say that she’s out of plans to keep this election rigging thing from spilling out and he tells her he has one more trick in his bag. Then he calls Charlie. STOP CALLING CHARLIE WHEN IYANLA IS AVAILABLE!
Sit Down, Quinn – Quinn comes up to Huck with $5,000, because she wants him to kill Hollis for ruining her life and taking her love. She asks him if it’s enough and he says no. First of all, this isn’t a game for your jittery ass. You aren’t a goon and cannot handle what comes along with it. Also, for a measly $5,000, Huck shouldn’t e’em look at a gun on your behalf. No ma’am. He tells her he can do it for free IF she promises to leave and never come back because Gladiators don’t kill for revenge. So she can make a decision to have Hollis gone but it will cost her the current life she has. Well damb. Don’t do it, Quinn!
Last Minute Save – Charlie’s following James as he’s about to walk into the building to testify in front of the Grand Jury when Cyrus calls him. He’s on the phone bumbling and clearly trying to make a decision. As Charlie walks up behind James, at the VERY last second, Cyrus says “DON’T DO IT!” OMG! MY HEART! He was about to get James Mortal Kombated! iCan’t.
No More Cards Left – Cyrus tells Liv it’s out of his hands. Pope goes in a closet and pulls out an emergency bottle of wine that she has clearly been stashing for such a time as this.
David Losses. Again – James is sworn in and promises to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Then David asks him about what he found in Defiance, Ohio to support and he says “nothing.” David is outraged and proceeds to throw a full tantrum in that court, threatening James with 5 years of jail time for perjury. He just stays losing these massive cases. Poor thing.
Abby’s Sacrifice – David storms into the Gladiator office, where the whole team is assembled and asks Abby where his memory card is. The one from the machines that he kept in a lockbox. She says she has no clue what he’s talking about and he tells her they are done! DONE! He storms right back out and Abby starts crying. She reaches into her coat and presents the memory card LIKE A REAL G. She really took one for the team and sacrificed love to protect Liv. I might could tolerate her afterall.
Losing is a Habit – Senator Pudding Pop shows up at Olivia’s door the morning of Verna’s funegro, asking if she wants to ride with him. She says she has a car coming to pick her up. He just won’t realize that he is not wanted and he needs to pick up his feelings and Dereon duffle and go. Liv says she wants to give him his grandmother’s ring back, and Edison says he’s given the ring to her twice and she’s returned it both times. THEN STOP GIVING IT! He asks her what she wants and she says “I don’t want normal and easy and simple. I want painful, difficult, devastating, life-changing extraordinary love.” That statement is proof that Olivia is broken and I wanna find out how she got there. Why is that her idea of love?? That gives me the sads.
The Mind Changer – Olivia arrives at Verna’s funeral and tells Fitz that she gave Edison the ring back. Ghost is unmoved. He looks back at her and with cold eyes says he’s changed his mind because “screwing the mistress is one thing, but marrying her?” OUCH OUCH OUCH!!! RIGHT IN MY HEART! WHOA! Liv looks taken aback and Ghost tells her that he knows how important it was to her for him to become President. And it all clicks. Verna did ONE final act of evil before dying. That evil wench!
The Game Changer – Prez Ghost is giving Verna’s eulogy, speaking of her great legacy as we get to see what happened in the hospital room when he visited her. Judge Dred spilled ALL the beans and told him about that she’s behind his assassination attempt, and how she did it to restore some empty faith in democracy. Then she tells him about the League of Goons and how they are the reason he’s in office. He starts running down names… Mellie, Cyrus… and she nods. And then when he said “Liv” and she nodded, you could see his heart break into little pieces. “We sold our souls for you.” They sure did.
She then says she’s going to also come clean to David Rosen, and how she owed it to his father (why, I wonder?). And this is where I think he really lost his morals. Verna puts on her oxygen mask and Ghost tells her that her legacy will remain untarnished. And he apologizes to her, saying he wants to make sure his remains the same. He takes off her mask and suffocates her by cutting off her oxygen supply.
AND. I. LOST. IT. SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP!!!!!!!!!!!! PRESIDENT GHOST KILLED VERNA?!?!?! HE KILLED VERNA JUST LIKE HE KILLED PATRICK IN… dun dun dun… GHOST!!! *faints* I WAS OUTDONE!!!
He finishes up his kind words about Justice Verna as she lays in a casket in front of him, dead from both her own doing but quicker at his. But can we pay #amish to Verna in that casket??? Her face was BEAT for her meeting with Satan. WERK ONE LAST TIME, VERNA!
Oval Office Reconciliation – After the funeral, President Ghost and Mellie are in his office and he says he thought she tried to kill him but now he knows she didn’t. He says she’s the only person who has been honest about who she is, which is kinda true. Mellie doesn’t really hide her blind ambition and her ain’t shitness. He tells her that from then on, it’s them against the world.
I’ONT TRUST IT! And NAWL to that dry ass kiss!
NOOOOO! I DO NOT SUPPORT THIS RECONCILIATION!!! But really, I don’t trust Ghost now either. Methinks he’s tryna get back at all the alive members of the League of Goons and he’s starting with First Lady.
Olivia’s Loss – The funeral ends, everyone leaves and Olivia is in the same spot she was, looking downtrodden like someone had taken her last chapstick. She gave up the man who loves her for the man she’s in love with who changed his mind about wanting to be with her. LOSING.
CHILE. This episode. I AM STILL LOSING MY MIND OVER THE FACT THAT PRESIDENT GHOST KILLED VERNA!!! CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT?!?! What is happening?? Why is everyone evil? WOWWWWWW!!! Remember how the doctor said the brain injury could alter his personality? Is this what that is?
Also, now you know why I call him President Ghost. You’re welcome!
Either way. This episode. I CANNOT. HEAVEN I NEED A CAN. I AM CAN DEFICIENT. MY ABILITY TO CAN HAS BEEN SEVERELY REPRESSED! MY CANS ARE SHORT! *wall slides* SCANDAL!
I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS!!! So let’s discuss.
Check out my podcast Ratchet and the Geek, with Scott Hanselman! Episode 7 is up and we talk Scandal for the first 10 minutes!