When it was announced that Kim Kardashian was pregnant by her not-husband, Kanye West, I just knew she already had her outfits selected for the next 9 months. She was gon be baby baking chic. I assumed. Not sure why, because her style right now ain’t much to love. Well, pre-Kanye, she was all bandage dress everything. Now, she’s been rocking black, white, tan and leather everything. I truly do not know why I was expecting her to be slaying in the fashion department because she was with child.
BUT what I didn’t expect was for her to be dressing so terribly for her new body. Especially since she considers herself a stylist and fashionista. Kim’s growing BAWDY got her all messed up because she’s been making some TERRIBLE fashion choices, even more than usual. Like:
What we have here is lace, feathers and leather. ALL ON ONE BUSY OUTFIT! It’s like Kim wants to distract us from her expanding midsection by looking like what happens when Big Bird and Anna Wintour meet. “Dahling. The yellow feather is outdated. Go goth.” NAWL, Kimberly! This ain’t the way to go. Plus, is that a dress or shirt? Because I’m confused and this outfit is too. And those leather pants. I bet she had a hell of a time getting out of them. How much baby powder did it take?!?
GIRL! Are you wearing satin high-waisted peplum brocade pants??? What is this? Also, stop tryna squeeze your tummy into things. LET IT BREATHE, GIRL! And peplum is your sworn enemy at this moment. Don’t do it! What is it with these ultra busy outfits of hers? High-waist. Peplum. Brocade. Usually, one of them is good by themselves. ALL THREE? TOO MURCH! And these pants make her look as wide as ALL outside. Like the hills they were singing about the sound of music on. No ma’am! And the turtleneck… she just looks mad uncomfortable.
We cannot forget:
No. Just… no. How is this outfit tight, loose, matronly and fast? ALL at the same time? From the front, it’s matronly and trying to conceal her tummy. From the side, it’s too damb tight. Homegirl’s yansh is looking massive in it. It’s just all wrong.
*sigh* Oh Kim. Listen, we all know you’re pregnant. Because you and Kanye made sure to announce it the day after you took them off the stirrups at the doctor’s office. So you trying to hide your growing stomach while also wearing tight things makes little sense to me. Embrace the expansion, girl. This is a beautiful time, girl.
Also, please stop allowing Kanye’s emo ass to dress you. Outchea in peplum, brocade, feathers and leathers. And rocking black like your name is Wednesday Addams. Girl NAWL. You got too much money for all of this. Getchu a stylist whose name is not Yeezy. K? K.
Bless Kim’s heart. She’s looked so miserable these past coupla months. I don’t think this pregnancy has been a crystal stair for her. I can’t imagine what baking a person feels like but WOO WOO WOO, KIM! I’m not asking her to be glammed up always. I just want her to put her feet up, stop squeezing her thighmeats into tight ass leather leggings and put on some color to get some sunshine in her life.
So whatcha’ll think bout Kim’s clothes?
Shoutout to Jezebel for this article on Kim’s tacky pregnancy clothes, where I got these pics.