Today, white smoke came out the Vatican chimney, telling us that they picked a new Pope. I’m not Catholic but I still wanted to know who they picked, and I can’t even tell you a good reason why. Within minutes, Twitter blessed me with this graphic:
Because Grumpy Cat is a cat for the people. Look at him. Get your life. Amen.
And you know Twitter went off into the land of endless jokes. When I tweeted about the white smoke, my friend Evan slayed me with this tweet:
You know we’re all suffering from Liv Pope withdrawal. COME ON, MARCH 21!!!
And if you want to see other jokes, do a Twitter search for “Pope.” Here’s where you will laugh, cry and be disgusted. Because as always, people don’t have boundaries and will take the jokes so far you’ll want to quit humans for the rest of your life. It’s tradition.
When they announced that the new Pope is Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio of Argentina (now to be known as Pope Francis I), Twitter went nuts. He’s the first Latin American Pope ever and the first to be born outside of Europe since the 8th century. Look at the Church making strides. And of course, someone (@DorseyShaw of BuzzFeed) created a GIF for it.
My only contribution is that the new Pope looks older than the life itself. Do they wanna be doing this conclave every 2 years to pick a new one? I mean… I’m just asking. For a friend. Pope Francis doesn’t look like a young whippa snappa. No shade or anything but he’s 76 years old. Were all the 50 year olds inadequate? These are real questions.
Anywho, I’m sure the Pope jokes will keep going for hours and folks will beat the dead horse and use its tail for weave before they stop. I got my fill already.
Oh and one last thing. I Googled “Pope.”
They suggested “Popeyes.” Because you know chicken is important and that’s surely what I must have meant. Oh Google. Never change.
Have y’all seen madness on your Twitter timeline and Facebook newsfeeds after this announcement? Catholic readers, how are you feeling bout this?