TV

Love and Hip Hop Atlanta is Back and Full of Drama! Episode 1 Recap

It’s felt like forever since the first Love and Hip Hop Atlanta season ended but the cast is back and full of the same drama. It’s like we never left. Some people have soap operas, but for me, LHHATL is my “stories.” Joseline, Mimi, Stevie J, Scrappy, Erica, Momma Dee, K.Michelle, Rasheeda, Benzino and Karlie Redd are back and I’d missed them.

LHHATL

Nightscarfs and Denial – We see Mimi in the bathroom getting ready for bed. She walks into the bedroom, where Stevie J is sitting there with their daughter. SCREECH! Wayment! In her confessional, she tells us that it’s not what she looks like. She’s just there because of their daughter. Ma’am. Steebie’s in that bed looking mighty comfy and Mimi tells him that she’s moving into his house to prevent Joseline from spending time with her daughter. Girl… STAWP!

Budget for Scrappy – Erica and Scrappy are still happily engaged and living in a sparsely decorated house. In their room, Scrap is pulling out designer clothes and talmbout how he can’t rock anything twice. Erica wants them to set a budget on monthly clothes shopping and they settle on $1,200-1,500. I need to know where he’s e’em getting that money because where is he performing and who is paying for it??

Joseline and Stevie’s Verbal Jostle – Joseline is in some dank basement doing dance practice when Stevie comes in. He’s not happy that she disrespected his daughter (WUT?!?) and has words for her. She calls him a monkey bitch and other things and he calls her random things. I wasn’t listening. Also, neither one of them gets an award for the acting in that scene.

Joseline LHHATL BitchPlease Joseline LHHATL BitchPlease2

Poor Unfortunate Shay – Shay is still in love and butthurt about Scrappy proposing to Erica and leaving her hanging to dry. She goes to Mama Dee’s house to basically whine about it, and yall know that Pimptress loves her so she tried her best to comfort her. Of course, very little of what she said made sense but who gon check Mama Dee? Surely no one. She does tell Shay not to worry because a change gon come. Girl, ok.

Change is coming Momma Dee LHHATL

Fergie, Jesus and a Keyshia – K.Michelle is in the studio working on her new album, all excited about a new record deal. She’s talmbout why she deserves success, saying she’s a mix between “Fergie and Jesus.” In that moment, for that line, I liked her. Anyone who quotes a Will Ferrell movie (Stepbrothers) gets points with me. But she’s such a bird. She’s like Keyshia Cole if she got watered down and had a bigger booty.

Appraisals and Mingnon – Erica’s mama, Mingnon, is skeptical about her ring being worth anything. I’m still not cool with her name being Mingnon, but that’s neither here nor there. Also, she should lay off the relaxer kit and wait at least 4 weeks between because that thin hair spoke VOLUMES. Ennehweighs, the two of them go to a jeweler to get her ring appraised. Shocking everyone, the jeweler says the ring is worth $21,000. Well DAMB!!! Did Scrappy use this platinum Rush card for it? I’m impressed!

Dollars, Benzino and Brutal Truth – Someone made Benzino, the human Spongebob Squarepants, a radio host *looks at V103* and he invites Joseline on his show. She says she gets money with Stevie on the business side ($20K a week) but says she’s “single and always looking for love. Because I like to have sess.”

Hate the Player LHHATL

She also says she’s 26. Which is a shame because she looks good for 42. (-_-)

Toast to Good News – K.Michelle and Erica are meeting up for drinks since they both have something to celebrate. One got a new record deal with Warner Bros. and the other is bethrothed to Scrappy. Yay them! K offers to throw Erica an engagement party, and when Ariane and Rasheeda are suggested as guests, she disagrees. She’s mad at Ariane for sleeping with her ex. How you gon say you wanna throw someone a pordee but shut down all the people they wanna invite because you got beed with everybody? Chile… ok.

Joseline and her Technicolor DreamFur – Stevie heard Joseline’s interview with Benzino, where she declared she was single. To patch things up with her, he presents her with some purple (and kaleidoscope under light. ok I’m just kidding) fur. Like a good pimp would do. And then he grabs her yansh for good measure. iCan’t with them.

Engagement VIP Booth – Mimi and Ariane ride together to Erica’s engagement party and Ariane is surprised she’s even invited. K.Michelle hasn’t talked to her since finding out that she slept with her ex, Memphitz, from a radio interview. The ladies get to the party (which isn’t really a party, as much as it’s 4 women in a VIP booth) and K ain’t tryna talk to Ari at first but soon, she starts going off about her breaking the G-code. Tension died though when one of them said”I FUCK WITH YOU!” “AND I FUCK WITH YOU TOO!” And then they dapped and kissed.

Ariane KMichelle Kiss

Hoodrats settle beefs so differently.

Decisions and Doubts – Mama Dee goes to see Scrappy, asking him if he still cares about Shay. And then she suggests he goes to meet her for lunch. Scrap tells her that he made his decision (Erica) and he wants his mama to go along with it. She’s such a creep and is so damb inappropriate.

Mimi, Maids and Madness – Mimi is in the kitchen talking to him when Joseline walks into the house in the furcoat he bought her, and some panny draws and a cropped top. She says “Hey Maid. I see you got on your maid outfit like you always do” to Mimi, who then flips out and tells her to get the hell out. Stevie walks Joseline to the car as she yells “she needs to come clean my condo.” WELPPPPPPPPP!!!

Molly the Maid joseline gif

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Joseline LHHATL Man Joseline LHHATL Man2

Joseline really did READ Mimi though, and left her behind cussing and going on like a fool. And Stevie of course didn’t take her seriously so she got mad and threw water in his face. Security had to escort him out.

I don’t have sympathy for Mimi’s plight because she puts herself in the path of disrespect by continuing to entertain Stevie in any way besides “father of my daughter.” WHY THE HELL did you move into his house? Then his sidepiece who became main girl walked in like “HEY BITCHES!” and you mad.

Mimi’s #selfofsteam gotta be in shambles. Joseline walked in looking like she just wrapped a shift at Magic City while she was cleaning up in his kitchen in a “free with credit card sign up” tshirt.” WOMP!

We see previews of what’s to come this season though and it’s gonna be a lot of tea.

My Body Is Ready Snape gif

Did y’all watch it? Whatcha think? I want Mimi to get her life.

P.S. Mona Scott-Young talmbout none of this is scripted. I wanna call Maury and tell him to get his trusty lie detector test. I mean, I don’t mind if it is, because I basically look at it like a show I’d watch on univision but ummm… yeah.

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33 Comments

  1. Mo to tha
    April 23, 2013 at 7:39 am

    Honestly, the first thing I noticed is that Jose(line) had some speech classes because that English has stepped up. I only needed subtitles like 60% of the time as opposed to 100% of the time last season.

    VH1 must keep Shay (aka Buckee) on retainer for when they need someone to do hoodrat things for love.

    And am I the only one wondering how Erica and Scrappy got together? I mean she seems so….normal (in Reality TV terms) and Scrappy Dappy Do is just so….hood. Their relationship just leaves me confuddled (yes….confused and befuddled).

    Benzino has the jaw of a man 3 times his size.

    Mimi wants to be a martyr but she just looks foolish.

    This season looks like its going to be so messy and I am here for it. I have trimmed down my foolish reality TV habit to make room for the foolishness that is LHHATL and I am not ashamed, lol.

    • vanita applebum
      April 23, 2013 at 9:18 am

      This recap and this comment are gone git me fired for loud cackling in a public area.

      *more loud cackling*

    • April 23, 2013 at 9:42 am

      “Benzino has the jaw of a man 3 times his size.” LMAO!!!!!! Hillarious!

    • KISS
      April 23, 2013 at 9:50 am

      Girl HUUUUSH! I can’t and I won’t. Mimi is a dumb biish. You got me in tears.

    • Jaz
      April 24, 2013 at 12:50 pm

      Hilarious

    • Jazzy
      April 24, 2013 at 6:38 pm

      I just died and came back to life from reading this comment! Hil-ar-ious!

    • epifanee
      April 25, 2013 at 10:58 am

      Foolish honey. Like Shawty Lo “Foolish” all day long.

  2. @Write2Btold
    April 23, 2013 at 8:13 am

    Alot of the show seemed stage because they couldn’t even stay mad during the fight scenes. With that being said, Mimi needs therapy (by herself). I can’t believe she thought it made sense to get into that man’s bed just because the daughter was still asleep. Are we supposed to believe that she didn’t see any of Joseline’s stuff there, even though she had been living there for 3 months? Please, insult someone elses intelligence.

    I’m still trying to figure out why Mona Scott is creating drama with the whole Shay-Scrappy-Erica story. Yes Momma Dee is funnyso maybe they just needed a reason to keep her on the show, but we all know that Scrappy is a broke joke. I was taking my breaks whenever their segment came on…I lived for Joseline and K. Michelle.

    • Buttascotch
      April 23, 2013 at 9:42 pm

      I was thinking the same thing about the fight scene.. they were laughing have way through… *smh

      Was I the only one feeling some kind of way when they let the little girl play under the yuck sheets? ew

    • Buttascotch
      April 23, 2013 at 9:48 pm

      That fight scene was scripted.. they were laughing half way through… *smh

      Was I the only one feeling some kind of way when they let the little girl play under the yuck sheets? ew

      Bravo must have stepped up their glam squad because every wig, extension, lace front, clip-in was ON POINT.

  3. Erica
    April 23, 2013 at 8:36 am

    My favorite line of the entire show was “hey maid I see you got yo maid outfit on like you always do” #ilive

  4. April 23, 2013 at 9:00 am

    Oh so much fuckery, so little time!

    #1. Mimi is a FOOL! Why are they even having the Joseline discussion with their daughter right there? Parenting FAIL #1.
    #2. Why are you moving in? Is your daughter at Stevie’s all the time? You said until you get your place, Ma’m where were you at before this, go there NOW!
    #3. She’s sending mixed signals, I’m showering in the master bathroom and coming to the bed in my sleep clothes, but we’re not getting back together. Then get yo’ ass to the guest room!

    Mama Dee/Scrappy/Erica!!!!
    Mama Dee will never turn from her pimpstress ways. She only likes Shay because she’s a hoodrat and hood recognizes hood.
    Her slurping her wine with a straw!!!
    What was she spouting off about with the prince, and the kingdom, and the queen?
    Oh and I forgot the best part, at the premiere screening the other day Erica was sans ring, so Mingon may have been right all along.

    iDied at Mo to tha’s “Benzino has the jaw of a man 3 times his size.”

    • April 23, 2013 at 9:44 am

      “Her slurping her wine with a straw!!!” LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. Shawty Do Wop
    April 23, 2013 at 9:45 am

    all i know is every time i see BenzHELLno i think of a t-rex. specifically the one from Meet The Robinsons talking about its big head and little arms. icant with that man jawline and jabba the hut neck.

    • Randomly Jazzy
      April 23, 2013 at 11:31 am

      #iDied @ this comment….I am literally trying to get it together. http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lekiamFu6Z1qdqixgo1_500.jpg

    • Jabari
      April 23, 2013 at 8:05 pm

      The two people above me have not an iota of couth and I love them both for it!!!!!!!

    • Wickedkitten
      April 25, 2013 at 3:55 am

      He reminds me of Happy Patch from Deputy Dog with that jawline

  6. April 23, 2013 at 9:45 am

    This show give me LIFE! That is all.

  7. KISS
    April 23, 2013 at 9:59 am

    When this fake ass “reality” show gets cancelled, Benzino has a career rippin open cars at accident scenes.

    Mimi don’t need to get her life but she does need to get someone else’s. At least Scrappy just straight up said to hell with Shay. Steebie got Mimi and Jose having slumber parties with his daughter. How much is VH1 paying her to play the fool? Smh.

  8. April 23, 2013 at 12:26 pm

    I haven’t been watching the show, but I LIVE for your recaps and GIFs. Please keep them coming lol.

  9. @Sincerely_Pat
    April 23, 2013 at 3:36 pm

    Hey Luvvie, what did you think about the Co-Executive Producer, @Stefateaser of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta, retweeting you during the show?

  10. mz.niecy
    April 23, 2013 at 3:59 pm

    I’m gonna need everybody to rewatch the show cause at the end when “Stebbie” was leaving with Security did I or did I not hear him call MiMi–Merry Maid??? I mean my face hit the floor like WTH….

    Mama Dee with the nasty Dollar Tree wine glass and straw from her Burger King lunch that day, iamnothereforthat…

    Shay, wants us to feel sorry for her, sorry I won’t because after he did her ass in on the reunion show THAT should have been the END of her and Scooby’s nephew.

    • Janaye
      April 24, 2013 at 3:17 pm

      Steebie ABSOLUTELY called Mimi “Molly Maid” or something! Too far Steebie! That was wrong and just would have added fuel to the already raging fire. But Mimi seems to not have a breaking point, so it obviously didn’t matter.

      • mz.niecy
        April 25, 2013 at 3:00 pm

        i knew i wasn’t the only one caught that..I did an ultimate wall slide of death after i heard that mess…

  11. ddh336
    April 24, 2013 at 10:44 am

    I have questions. Why did scrappy have such a small bed? Seriously who told his mom that the mullet came back.. she didn’t have enough hair to cover her tracks? Why is she so fascinated with her sons personal relationships, its creepy? Mimi is self made from her business, and joseline……. So many questions. Normally I am team k.Michelle but she was wrong for being pissed at Ariane unless I missed something.

  12. April 24, 2013 at 6:35 pm

    I just do not understand this show. Furthermore..I aint NEVA in my black ass life heard Benzino on the radio down here. He must come on at the IDGAF hour! And if Jocelyn is 26…then I must be pre-pubescent. She’s had a hard life, hammercy.

  13. Christie
    April 24, 2013 at 8:12 pm

    These people are all hot damn messes.

    How does Erica lay with a man that calls himself Scrappy? And a man that looks like a B-rate Kanye West.
    I thought Momma Dee was a man but I was corrected: Scar from Lion King.
    Jocelyn needs to a) never claim to be 26 ever again because it made me choke on my water and b) needs to carry her ass. She’s a ho and Steebie is a pimp. I could never with a man that calls himself Daddy.

  14. Toun
    April 24, 2013 at 8:14 pm

    So MiMi tried to bite him to prove? Those two will never get tired of the Steevie drama. I am very curious as to what kind of diamonds his penis is made out of cause he damn sure doesn’t make them feel special…smh

    Shay will get hers because just like Mama Dee plotted with her she will plot against her.

  15. Rowsdower1
    April 24, 2013 at 11:14 pm

    I can’t help but feel sorry for Mimi. We are only one episode in and she’s already been disrespected by Stevie, and Joseline. One day Mimi will realize she should not stay in this dysfunctional relationship for the sake of her child. This is going to be another rollercoaster ride of a season. Because of my work schedule at DISH, and the long train ride home afterwards, I’m not home in time to watch this show. I catch up on Love and Hip Hop Atlanta on the train ride home with DISH Anywhere on my iPad. It’s great having access to my favorite TV shows, and I can watch them whenever I want. For me, this makes the long ride home fun.

    • MizzusBarber
      April 25, 2013 at 1:23 pm

      *Hits UNLURK button*

      Rowsdower1 I agree with you on feeling sorry for Mimi. Her selfosteam is so low, its dead and buried 6 feet under.

      But really. Did you just do a commercial product plug in your comment?

      • Amber
        April 30, 2013 at 6:30 pm

        omg ..lol I had to hit the unlurk botton too .. and ive been lurkin for awhile. yes ..that was a plug for dish anywhere … hahaha too funny .. but anyway ..love your blog luvvie!! I read it all the time 🙂

  16. […] started being called “The Maid” because those of us who watch the ratchet saga of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta saw Joseline (who is Stevie J’s mistress) call the mother of his child (Mimi) “The […]

  17. cdm
    June 4, 2013 at 2:30 pm

    See a great review…

    Mama Dee in the Hood

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-Tis-oBLRo