The Luvvie Glossary of Random Stuff I Say!
I have developed my own lingo because I’m random and I’ve found certain ways to express my emotions that are more colorful than what folks are used to. I forget sometimes that I’m almost speaking my own language so when I write and talk like this and folks look at me funny, I’m wondering why.
And when I hashtag a word that is misspelled, it means I did it on purpose. Some of these I came up with and some of these I picked up while loitering these internets.
This is a glossary of some of my favorite words, phrases and faces. Getchu a piece!
Also, yes, I use these in real life too.
The Luvvie Glossary
ALLATAHM – Since “all the time” doesn’t have the same ring to it.
Alphet – This means “outfit.” I got it from one of the Dumbest Tweets of 2011. Someone actually thought “outfit” was spelled like this and it has stuck with me since.
AMISH – This is “homage” (as in “pay homage”), also brought to us by one of the Dumbest Tweets of 2011. Ever since I saw it used like this, my life has been richer for it. Example: “Pay AMISH to the legends!”
Aarons – Someone said “running aarons all day” on Twitter. “Aarons” is errands. I HOLLERED.
#BISHWHERE – Robin “Rihanna” Fenty blessed us with this when some raggelly basketball player publicly implied they had a relationship. This was her response, basically to say “WHAT? NO.” You use this to call bullshit on folks.
BOFADEM – “Both of them” just doesn’t roll off the tongue as well. Related: ALLADEM.
Brother Franklin – The small-statured Nigerian man who praises God with everything he has every Sunday. He’s made famous by this video on YouTube and perfectly epitomizes celebrations of epic proportions. Example: “I’m hitting my Bro Franklin.” It is below:
Chile… – Like saying “Girlllll…” It’s “child” without the “d” pronounced.
Classless wonder – I got this from my Mom and she says it to describe people who are, well, classless and foolish.
COMME DES FACKONS – Because “come the fuck on” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
Crabs in a barrow – Because why be in a barrel when you could be in a barrow?
CRINE – Twitter strikes again with this one. Instead of “crying” someone used “crine.”
*dead* – So funny I’ve died. Un-literally. I’m just kidding. I’m just laughing really loud or whatever it is made me fall out. See:
Damb – For some reason, damb makes me feel better about cussing. Besides, “damn” is no fun.
DAMMUT! – Because “damn it” doesn’t do the job.
Dassit – “That’s it.” Related: Dassall.
DINNAMUG – This is “than a mug” which is a more dramatic way of saying “very.” Example: “I am tired DINNAMUG!”
E’em – This is how I say “even” because who needs 2 syllables when 1 will suffice? Example: “She doesn’t e’em have any chill.”
Eyes are sweating – Because I am a thug and thugs don’t cry, when water falls from my eyes, I deem my eyes to be sweating. Or they’re raining. Or they went for a run.
Ennehweighs – Because “anyway” is boring.
FAHN – When someone is so handsome or pretty that you don’t feel like enunciating “fine.” FAHN is more expressive. Example: “Harrison from Scandal is so DAMB FAHN!”
FOOL Saddown gift basket – A parting gift you give someone who has done or said something stupid. It can come with such items as the Get Your Life candle set or the Have a Seat Incense Stick.
Fucque – Because it reads nicer than FUCK. I’m classy like that.
Funegro – I got this from one of Tyler Perry’s plays when Madea used “Funegro” to describe the funeral of a, well, negro.
Getchu a piece – My way of saying “check it out.” Example: “Getchu a piece of my latest blog post.”
GIBBADAMB – Giving a damb is the act of caring about something and pouring energy into it. This somehow turned to GIBBADAMB while I was ranting one day. Example: “I’ont GIBBADAMB!”
Gooning – Letting someone have a stern talking to or tongue-lashing.
GONT – This is a replacement for “gonna.” i.e. “How you GONT say that to me?” It just has more oomph to it!
Hairhat – Some wigs and weaves look like literal hats that folks placed on their heads. Therefore, they are hairhats. Not unlike:
Harvest Wig – When someone clearly tried to slay with their wig because they pulled out their favorite one and they failed. This is the hairhat you break out on your birthday.
Have a seat – When someone does or says something that makes you wanna just offer them a seat in the corner to think things through. There’s even a Have a Seat T-Shirt you can order. Related: SADDOWN. And it usually comes with this: \___
Here lies Luvvie – When someone says something so hilarious that all I wanna do is go lay down and write out a will.
iCan’t. – When I cannot deal with something. Usually followed by such phrases as: Unable to CAN. I have CAN INABILITY. I need a CAN REFILL.
I DON DIE! – This is pidgin English for *DEAD*
IJOT – “Idiot” according to Nigerians when we insult someone with fervor. “He’s such an IJOT!” Related: HEEJOT.
I’ont – “I don’t.”
iQuit You. – It means I’m done with the person it’s directed to. At least for 2 minutes. Usually means they said or did something so ratchet that I can’t even deal.
iShan’t – It’s “I shall not.” When I refuse to do something or deal with it.
iSweaFOLAWD! – Some people “swear to God” and I prefer to SWEAFOLAWD (swear for Lord)! Also: iSweaterGAWD!
*kicks trashcan* – This is me throwing a tantrum. You know when you’re so mad that you want to hit something but there’s nothing around so you take it out on the innocent trashcan? Yes. That.
LAH – “Lie.” It has more emphasis. And imagine me saying it loudly. Example: “The devil is a LAH!”
Leyomi drops – Leyomi Mizrahi’s signature move is when she drops backwards and bounces back up with a twirl. This is a celebratory move. This is what it looks like:
Love pocket – Because sometimes, the word “vagina” kills the mood. I prefer “Love Pocket” because it is surely a pocket that is full of love and should be treated as such.
Minuswell – Some of the simpletons on Twitter don’t seem to know that it’s actually “might as well.” I have adopted this and use it daily. Example: “You minuswell just chill.”
Murk – When something has slayed me, made me laugh like a hyena or rendered me helpless. “I have been murked by that GIF!”
NAWL – Since “no” is too soft.
No Behavior – Your foolishness it at epic proportions. This is often a good thing, because you’ve made us all cackle because of it.
Outchea – “Out here.” Example: “Y’all can’t be outchea being reckless.”
Pordee – “Party” isn’t as exciting.
Pregnet – “Pregnant.” I got this from some of the non-spelling people on Twitter. I love it.
Ratchet – This is synonymous with foolish or ridiculous. It can be good or bad. Shourrout to my Ratchet and the Geek podcast!
Saddown – Instead of saying “sit down,” sometimes you just want to tell someone to SADDOWN. Think of how a grandma would say it.
Self of steam – Because the people on Twitter are really dumb, someone thought “self-esteem” was actually “self of steam.”
Segzy – Nigerians love to say SEGZY instead of sexy. It keeps life interesting.
Shade – Being able to covertly insult someone or something is the art of throwing shade.
Sharrap – When “shut up” seems too proper (which is always). I got this from the way Nigerian folks say it. They turn it into one word and the T is softened into a SHARRAP!
Shourrout – Why say “shoutout” when “shourrout” is more awesome?
Side-eye – Looking at someone sideways. This is judgey and necessary.
Summagoat – Because sometimes folks act like they’re spawns of goats. Also, sometimes “son of a bitch” feels too harsh.
Talmbout – Because “talking about” is too many syllables.
Thug down – As a practicing thug (O_O), being caught up in emotions is rare. And for those rare occasions (like Mufasa’s death in Lion King) and you find your eyes sweating, your thug is down. It has taken a break. Also related: Thug on the floor. Thug is obsolete.
UGLASS – Because “UGLY ASS” is too many syllables. Some phrases just need to be merged. Related: GOOFASS.
Unable – When you cannot deal with something, you can simply say you are “unable.”
UNABLE TO CAN – This is when “iCan’t” doesn’t do the job of expressing how unable I am. Other variations: “My inability to can is deficient” etc. etc.
Verklempt – It means to get emotional. I got this from watching old Saturday Night Live clips with Mike Myers playing an older Jewish mom who always got “verklempt.”
*WALL SLIDE* – When something happens that renders you unable to talk about your feelings so all you can do is just slide down a wall. Think of most Lifetime movies. There’s a video of me doing the *wall slide*. Also, see below:
Wayment – It’s the shorter version of “wait a minute.” Twitter taught me.
WELP. – When someone does or says something that you find incredibly appropriate or makes a strong point, you can cosign with a hearty “WELP.”
We go together – When I love someone dearly. Or get tweeted by a celebrity, I say we go together. One fact that is unarguable: me and Idris Elba go together.
Wig snatch – The act of proverbially taking someone’s wig off. When you use your words to render them naked up top. This is what happens during gooning.
Womp – This is usually used to express “oh well” or as an exclamation after something you don’t like happened. “I just missed my bus. WOMP!”
Yansh – This is pidgin English (spoken in Nigeria) for “ass.” You’re welcome.
(-__-) – This face usually accompanies SHADE. It’s my eyes squinted. In smug fashion. Get with it.
O__O – This is a blank stare. It sometimes is used at the end of something that I said if I’m being sarcastic or facetious.
O______________O – LONG blank stare. Someone did too much.
O_o – This is a side-eye. I am usually judging someone for something when this is used. Or judging myself for saying something ridiculous.
>___> – This is also a side-eye.
\(.__.)/ – This is me with my hands in the air or fist pumping. I’m probably saying “WHOOOO!!!”
\__ = Have a seat
(\____/) = Have a whole couch
\______ = Have a chaise lounge
|_____| = Have a park bench
I think that covers my random terms (or not). I probably left some out, so let me know if I did and I will update this list. So for all those folks who read my posts going “Ok I only understood half of what she just said” YOU’RE WELCOME! 😀
And to those who always understand my random terms, you know we go together!