When we left the Love and Hip Hop Atlanta crew last episode, Joseline had just walked into Stevie’s house and called Mimi “Molly the Maid.” Mimi barked like she usually does and Stevie got put out his own house. So we pick up there. But this episode also intros us to the newest addition to the cast.
Joseline got Cajones – Well, naturally Stevie ended up in Joseline’s bed and it’s clear they made the SESS the night before. Joseline drops a bomb on him that she isn’t feeling their relationship because his baby mama is distracting him and she just wants to focus on their work. She’s talmbout how she does her job, which is to “be a bad bitch.”
The girl got ambition, yall. Steebie’s all butthurt as she leaves the room and asks her to make him some breakfast. She tells him she ain’t making a damb thing and to ask “Molly the Maid.” iHollered.
Throw Mama Under the Bus – Scrappy’s home from a trip and Erica tells him ho her mama doesn’t believe they will walk down the aisle. Ma’am, I know you’re excited your man is back but you ain’t gotta throw your mama under the bus. Anywho, she asks him to talk to her so they can end up on the same page and he obliges in the name of love then ask her for a foot rub. *shivers*
Traci and the THAHAs – Traci is the newest addition to LHHATL and she’s a radio DJ in Atlanta whose baby daddy is Drew, Chris Brown’s DJ. Their son Baby Drew is the tie left between them. Well, Drew comes to the studio and gets a lecture from her on how she doesn’t like groupies around her son. This fool talmbout that’s why he has on a tshirt with “THAHA” on it. It’s code for “These Hoes are Hoes Always.” That dumb as hell. Well, Traci tells him she ain’t got tahm for “microwavable bitches” who just pop out of everywhere around her son and I started to like her. She gets a hat tip for that phrase.
Mimi’s Misplaced Anger – Mimi and K.Michelle go boxing, and the way she’s attacking the punching bag, it’s clear she got all this rage against the Steebie. You wouldn’t have to get rid of ALL that anger if you actually put him in his place and leave him there. MMHMM. K says “You can’t watch over a man. He’s gonna do what he’s gonna do.” Come on, K.Michelle wisdom!
Signed, Sealed and Hoodwinked – Joseline meets with her agent/booker/I don’t damb know for some lunch and the lady tells her she’s made $100,000 in the past 2 months. As I sit home and wonder what the heck I’m doing wrong with MY life! Joseline says she’s worried about the CONTRAK (contract) she signed with Stevie, because she ain’t read it and hasn’t seen it since. How predictable of her?!? SMDH.
Scar and Shay – Momma Dee picks up a still-butthurt Shay to give her a peptalk about how she can get Scrappy back, while rocking her most raggedy wig yet. She outchea looking like she’s about to sing “Be Prepared.” She is scary. She tells Shay that she is gonna get back on her job as being Queen of the kingdom because Scrappy’s running wild. Her throne must be under Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak because nobody but her can see it. But her commitment and obsession with her son really reads like a reverse Oedipus Complex and it’s a bit disturbing.
Sneakers and Snickers – Traci goes to Drew’s house to pick up her son and finds dinner cooking. Drew wants them to sit down for a family meal because he wants to talk. He wants to stop touring so much and start a business in Atlanta, so he asks Traci to invest $25,000 in his sneaker boutique venture. She tells him that she needs to see a change in his behavior. Nawl! Negro, lemme see a business plan! She warns him that if she does give him money, she doesn’t wanna see any “Groupie bitches” benefitting from it. Her use of that phrase with such fervor endears me to her.
In-Laws Bond – Scrappy goes to Erica’s mama, Mingnon, for the talk he promised. She tells him she knows how much he’s hurt Erica in the best and he turns the tables and says her background ain’t been pure either. She admits to being missing from her life for 5 years while she battled addiction but she overcame it and is a new woman. Scrappy uses that to his point that people can change and do better. Someone’s been watching debate videos on YouTube!
Contraks and Crooks – Joseline sits down with Stevie and asks for her contract because she’s afraid he owns her since she doesn’t know what she signed. He says he DOES own her but she shouldn’t fret because she’s been doing what she wants and getting paid. Which, she hasn’t shared with him and she owes him 30%. She says she won’t share a dime until she sees what she signed. Stevie is a crook and she’s a dumbass. Don’t sign a CONTRAK you ain’t read next time, JOSELINE! She prolly signed over her wigs for the next 20 years.
Mimi’s Moving On Down – Mimi takes K.Michelle to see the apartment she’s about to make her own home, talmbout how big of a step this is. NO MA’AM! You are grown and you shouldn’t have been living in your estranged baby daddy’s house. Ugh.
808s and Heartbreak – Scrappy is in the studio recording “Put them Paws on ’em” when Momma Dee shows up like the stalking parent that she is. She calls herself a canine but I disagree. You are a cat. You got on the cowardly lion’s hairhat so… womp. She talks a bunch of nonsensical stuff and in walks Shay with no shame. Scrappy’s instigating ass mama ain’t shit, and she walks out to let them talk.
Shay starts crying as she talks about how she still loves him and I need her to tuck in ALL of this salty. If someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE his yuck mouth. Scrap says “And I started thinking. With my brain.” Because you know, we can think with other organs. Pontificating negro. Shay gets shut down and she walks out heartbroken anew. Po’ thang.
No Sleepover, Bro – “Who lives in a pineapple in ATL?” SPONGEBOB BENZINO!!! Stevie goes to visit our non-favorite no-neck dude to talk about his lady problems. And then he asks if he can spend the night. ‘Zino tells him hell nawl, and he better go face Mimi. Stevie’s bitchassness is truly off the charts.
Flowers, Cards and Security – Stevie picks up roses and a present for Mimi before he gets home and when he does, she says she needs to talk. She tells him she’s moving out, and his dramatic ass starts dropping rose petals talmbout “She loves me, she loves me not.” Dude is a caricature of himself at this point. He goes from being apologetic to creepy with “You know I could find you, right?” And then he goes to anger as she gets up, packs her stuff and leaves. As she closes the door behind her, he tries to go after her but security picks him up like he’s a 5 year old riding an invisible bike.
Mimi drives away and the episode ends.
We all know at least ONE Mimi. Beloveds, let’s gather our sisterwomen and have stern talks with them. #LettucePray that they stop falling for the Stevies of the world and ending up in this perpetual cycle of losing. Amen.
So who gon join me for an intervention with Mimi? Also, who else is worried that Momma Dee wants to get with her own son? Something don’t curl all the way over with her.