Geraldo Rivera’s Shirtless Selfie is the Anti-Thirst Trap

Yesterday morning, Geraldo Rivera, he of epic moustache and soldier coordinate reporter, woke up and decided he was proud of what he looked like. He tweeted “70 is the new 50 (Erica and family are going to be so pissed…but at my age…)” and included a selfie of himself shirtless in the bathroom.

I saw it so you have to too.

Geraldo Rivera Shirtless

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! AAHHHHHHH!!! My eyes! They burn!

I mean, the man isn’t just shirtless, he’s NAKED! The fact that I can see his V-trail… OMG! *faints* I don die.

Ew.

I feel dirty. This is the anti-thirst trap. Thirst traps are pictures that make you swoon. This picture makes me wanna pour hydrogen peroxide on my eyeballs for purification. Folks saw this pic and wished for their 3rd eye togo blind. Some things you can’t unsee.

I want to go buy him a shirt he never takes off. Or have him tattoo one on. But you can tell he just KNEW he was too segzy for his shirt. So sexy it hurts (us).

The culture of selfies has gone too far, y’all. TOO FAR! When you have Grandpa Geraldo tweeting pics of himself buck nekkid in his gloomy bathroom, that is when you know this is officially too much. NO MORE! But at least he wasn’t also doing duckface. Silver lining?

Did I say ew? Well let me say it again.

Ewwwww gif

Of course he deleted the tweet. Probably after his kids threatened not to speak to him til Thanksgiving. What was he tryna accomplish with this pic?

Ew.

Put on your shirt, Mr. Rivera. No one is here for that. This isn’t to say 70 year olds can’t be segzy. But THIS one? Wells… nawl.

Whatcha’ll think of shirtless Geraldo? And is there a 70 year old celeb who you’d want to see sans shirt?

P.S. You’re welcome!

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • warrior11209 July 22, 2013, 9:34 am

    Geraldo – 70 is NOT the new 50..it is what it is- freaking 70!!!!
    NO ONE wants to see this and now that I have my retinas are cursing me out BIG TIME. Taking a sick day after this mess…blecch

    • Luvvie July 22, 2013, 10:07 am

      My pupils were like “NAWL, LUVVIE!”

      • RozB July 22, 2013, 6:33 pm

        What’s next? Tavis caught in a candid shot wearing boy shorts and Timberlands?

        BTW – I knew you would have the best post about this ever!

        • Jabari July 22, 2013, 11:54 pm

          Now I can’t erase the Tavis image from my memory bank…UUUUGGGGHHHH!!!!!

          Y’all don’t want me to have nice things…..

  • A Swirl Girl July 22, 2013, 9:34 am

    Gee, thanks, Luvvie!

    *I just threw up in my mouth, and I’m going to have nightmares till the end of time*

    • Luvvie July 22, 2013, 10:06 am

      I said you’re welcome!

  • pup July 22, 2013, 9:37 am

    Dear Jesus, please, please, PLEASE be a delete button & wipe this from my memory bank. Have mercy. Ain’t NOBODY got time for that!

    • Luvvie July 22, 2013, 10:09 am

      Someone on my FB page said times like this is when they wish that flashy thing from Men in Black existed.

  • Deja July 22, 2013, 9:43 am

    Damn it to nooo!

    I blame myself for reading a luvvie article this early in the morning. I left my ability to can back in the hotel from where he stole that towel.

    #uggghhhh

  • C'estmoi July 22, 2013, 9:46 am

    but why is he wearing those old ass shades from 1993 tho?

    • Luvvie July 22, 2013, 10:05 am

      Good question! Those glasses look like they belong in a TLC video from 1992. Bless him.

  • Carol July 22, 2013, 9:48 am

    Oh come on… he looks really good for 70. You’re only saying “ew” because you probably hate him.

    • Luvvie July 22, 2013, 10:05 am

      I actually don’t hate Geraldo. I’m saying Ew because. Ew.

      • Starita34 July 22, 2013, 1:15 pm

        LMAO, VALID!

        It is most certainly ew!

        Yes, he looks good for 70 – and shirtless would’ve been one thing, but he is NAKID! All the way nakid!
        At 70.
        On the internet.

        Nawl.
        And again I say Nawl.

        I don’t wanna almost see 70 year old peen no matter how physically fit they’ve kept themselves. Save all that for Erica, Geraldo.

  • Jabari July 22, 2013, 9:51 am

    Luvvie, why won’t you let me be great in life?

    The fact that I can’t unsee this…-_______- just let me lay for a second…

    But I will say one thing, Papa Geraldo had all these geratric heauxs swoonin’…..saying “C’mon Big Papi, put that mustache on me!!!”

    Yáll no I ain’t got good sense…..

    • Luvvie July 22, 2013, 10:06 am

      BYE JABARI!

      • Jabari July 22, 2013, 11:03 am

        Luvvie, you will never be rid of me!

        You are the ratch underneath my wings……

  • Kiki July 22, 2013, 10:12 am

    That V trail though… I won’t lie, I might just take a ride on that if I was drunk enough. Forgive me Luvvie.

  • Sadiqua July 22, 2013, 10:14 am

    Can we discuss that P!nk by Vickies Secret housecoat behind him…and is that a bra hanging on that hook?

    There aint not nary a person I wanna see without a shirt at age 70. Not a Clooney, not a Connery, not even a Washington or an Elba when they reach that age.

    • Jabari July 22, 2013, 11:24 am

      What kinda mess you talkin’?!?! Idris will never age and look like a Grecian god til they lay he and I to rest….

  • InstantKarma July 22, 2013, 10:15 am

    I think his body looks good for 70….. but that roadkill the has taken up residence for FAR to long on Geri’s upper lip……THAT’S EWWW!!!!!

    • RozB July 22, 2013, 6:31 pm

      Somebody tweeted that he had a handlebar mustache under the towel. I wouldn’t be surprised.

  • 4everyoungmsD July 22, 2013, 10:25 am

    Uhm my eyes are also stuck at his rose colored glasses, which I’m assuming obscured his own vision for him to think he looks good for any age.

  • Nandie July 22, 2013, 10:36 am

    It is a tad creepy that he posted this, and is the male version of a ‘butterface’, but I have to say he has a banging body for 70!

  • Ms. Brome July 22, 2013, 11:01 am

    Maybe that racist is sending it to Zimmerman . You can be 70 and Segzy, you can’t be a bad, racist , tv journalist and nekkid.

  • LaToya July 22, 2013, 11:21 am

    I guess he looked alright but I still feel like…….making the ugly face everytime I think about it….Not too pleased with you luvvie!! I just hate it when somebody try to bring you down with them b/c this is exactly what you did luvvie….smdh!!

  • nichole July 22, 2013, 11:21 am

    Just a disgusting attempt to be relevant.

    Just proves that even at 70 you can have poor judgement and not understand what to share on social media.

    • Heaven77 July 23, 2013, 5:49 pm

      Amen!

  • Jabria July 22, 2013, 12:14 pm

    Luvvie…come on, man, I just ate lunch! -__-

  • The City Dweller July 22, 2013, 2:56 pm

    Why the damn did he think this was a good idea? No really, why the damn?? This is light-years beyond inappropriate.

    The line he crossed is waaaaay back there. Hell, that line is in Mexico. Hell, it’s on Pluto.

    F*** was he thinking??!

    P.S. I want all older people to give up colored glasses. Whoopi, Johhny Depp, Sam L., alla ‘nem, I just want it to stop. It’s like, “Yes, I have to wear these glasses in order to see… but I’m still cool!” And yet.

  • RozB July 22, 2013, 6:29 pm

    He says hoodies are the criminal uniform for Black youth. But what does his bargain bin porn mustache and Mr. Burns naked body say about him? It says old assed perv, Geraldo. Old assed perv.

    I bet he has worms.

  • I Am Your People July 23, 2013, 12:56 am

    Why must you do this? WHY DON’T YOU WANT ME TO BE A BETTER PERSON LUVVIE? *fights the air*

  • Khadijah July 23, 2013, 7:56 am

    I’m with you Kiki
    Seriously though its not that he looks bad. He looks great but this was just the wrong move. Nothing wrong with being proud if his you look. It was just in poor taste. I mean he’s a journalist. A journalist! I don’t want to see this any more than I want to see my Dad or any other respectable figure in my life doing somethingikd this. Just. Not. Appropriate.

  • Sane Jane July 23, 2013, 10:38 am

    Geraldo think he be lookin good, but he be lookin like mummy bones unearthed in an archaeological dig.

  • Vonetta July 23, 2013, 1:40 pm

    Okay, so Im’a go out on a limb and say….he actually has it going on…*wait for it*…from the neck DOWN, that is.

    From the neck up, there’s all kinds of anarchy & armageddon goin’ on, honey. Why does his face look like a moustachio-ed bag of raw pizza dough, though? He need a facial hair innervention!

  • Kerita July 26, 2013, 3:26 am

    (Late pass, please)

    Yeah, he needs a whole stadium of seats…now, Jim Morris, however, is a whole ‘nother 70-year-old story…IJS

    http://frugivoremag.com/2012/10/black-male-vegan-77-year-old-bodybuilder-jim-morris-proves-vegans-can-be-muscular-healthy/

    😉

  • INT August 2, 2013, 7:32 am

    Soo….

    …he actually looks pretty good for 70

    I’m surprised.

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