TV

I Have 20 Questions About LHHATL Episode 13 (Recap)

I have questions about last night’s Love and Hip Hop Atlanta, so here they are.

LHHATL

1. Why did I feel so bad for Rasheeda as she poured her heart out to Mimi about Kirk the jerk? Well, because she’s super preggo and dealing with her hapless hubby.

2. When Momma Dee was cooking for Scrappy, why was I grossed out? I bet she puts ketchup on spaghetti. I don’t know why. I just feel it. But maybe it’s because Momma Scar and Scrappy’s relationship has this gross Electra complex feel to it.

3. Scrappy was talmbout how he can’t figure out why he can’t stop SMIZNYEE (smoking). I wanna know why he can’t stop talking like that.

4. Why does Drew dress like a 5-year old who just started picking out his own #alphets last week? And he surely acts like one too. When he went to meet up with Traci and her boo with a questionnaire, I was like wayment. There is something so unattractive about a grown ass little boy.

5. Since Drew likes to Google folks, why couldn’t he Google that business partner who jipped him out of $50,000???

Bloop nene gif

6. Why does Traci’s boo, DeShaun, look like Ne-Yo’s swole cousin? Was it just me that thought that? Also, Traci’s back to being Miss Independent now that she found out he lied to her and was arrested in 2006.

7. Why is Joseline so pressed about marrying Stevie all of a sudden?? Literally, two episodes ago, she was DONE with him. Now she’s tryna appeal to Poppa J to get him to convince his son. Girl BYE!

8. Why doesn’t Mimi use the same logic she used to talk to Kirk in her own choice of men? When she was reading Kirk for filth about Rasheeda, she asked him if his little fun with the trifling trollops was worth losing everything he had for.

9. Why was Ariane even acting like she was surprised that K.Michelle didn’t pick her to be a backup singer for her tour? She went to the auditions and did her best impression of nails on a chalkboard so she better saddown.

10. Even more importantly, why did Ariane’s disclosure that she wanted to be with women feel so scripted. She was basically like “Speaking of, I wanna be with women.” And K.Michelle and Mimi sat up there and feigned surprise terribly. They’re tryna make Ariane’s storyline pop, I guess.

11. Why was Scrappy’s lawyer dressed like Steve Harvey at a picnic? That powder blue suit was killing me softly.

12. Why doesn’t VH1 sign Scrappy up for “Celebrity Rehab?” I mean, the cross casting could work, because of his admitted dependency on weed. Also, I understand I’m part of the problem by wanting to see him on that show.

13. Why do I see the ending of this K.Michelle and Joseline friendship already and it’s just getting started? And I still think it’s really weird for K to be talking to JoHe about her relationship with Stevie when she’s such good friends with Mimi.

14. Why can’t Drew and Traci just agree to be co-parents and nothing more? Their relationship is so weird. Drew pining for her when she was with Shaun and now that she’s single, he gets an epiphany that they aren’t good together. Meanwhile, they talk about how he cheated on her 7 years before while she was pregnant WAY TOO OFTEN! Y’all ain’t moved on from that yet??

15. Why is Joseline so gifted in the art of throwing shade so effortlessly? When she was watching Karlie Redd perform and her compliment was “Maybe if she was like 20 years younger, she coulda made it,” I hollered. Also, her telling Karlie that her new hair color makes her look younger.

Joseline LHHATL Karlie Redd LHHATL

STRAIGHT. SHADE.

16. Did Scrappy write the opening lines of his memoir? When he went to see a Psychologist and was asked to talk about who he is, his response was “My dad is a minister. My mom is an OG street chick. Sold drugs. Pimped a coupla hoes.” I could see that being the opener of his biography, titled “Put Them Paws on Life.” He’s welcome for the work I just did for him.

17. Why did the psychologist only give Scrappy two choices for his daughter’s life path? He told Scrap that he has to choose his daughter (and a life of freedom) or weed (and being perpetually locked up). “Either Emani will be a freshman at Spelman or she’s gonna be the main attraction at Magic City.” What if she’s a freshman at Spelman who moonlights at Magic City? You gotta think of the gray areas, sir.

18. Why has Joseline officially become the biggest simp?? She went shopping for an engagement ring for Steebie, to literally force his hand. Girl, BYE! Did that work for Christy when she proposed to Jim Jones?

19. Was Rasheeda serious about going to a divorce lawyer? Because I hope so!

20. Why is Miss Shirlene so about that life?!?! When she got in her car mean mugging Kirk all the way, I knew she was either gon say or do something. I didn’t expect her to rev up her little station wagon and slam into Kirk’s bike. She then turned around and hit it again until the thing caught fire.

Miss Shirlene1 Miss Shirlene2

Talk about being FRESH out of any dambs to give. AND she told him to shut up when he whined about it. LMAO! Grand Goon!

Did you watch LHHATL last night? Got any questions of your own?

AGAIN, YESSS MISS SHIRLENE!

Previous post

Scandal is Coming to BET. Rejoice, Gladiators!

Next post

The Daily Show's Segment on the Zimmerman Verdict is Why I Love Them

40 Comments

  1. Brenda
    July 16, 2013 at 4:31 pm

    Put Them Paws On Life? Lmaoooo!!

    • Michele
      July 16, 2013 at 5:42 pm

      I had to walk away from my desk at that one…Put Them Paws On Life…hahahahahaha

  2. Angelica
    July 16, 2013 at 4:35 pm

    Miss Shirleeeeeeeeeeeene!

    Life, RECEIVED!

  3. Tanisha
    July 16, 2013 at 4:40 pm

    I live for your posts about this show. I am always in tears sitting in my cubicle reading your commentary about this tragedy of a TV show. I find myself watching the episode thinking now what would Luvvie say about that?? Thank you, thank you, thank you chilllleee you are too much. Oh and I am dead at the Bloop!!!!

    • Terri
      July 18, 2013 at 12:16 am

      I, too, find myself asking WWLD? The recaps are the best part of the show! It’s a damb shame when we cant watch a ratchet reality TV show or awards show without wondering what Luvvie would say about the shenanigans. Best blog ever!

  4. July 16, 2013 at 4:40 pm

    #5 Amen and Hallelujah! I was sitting there thinking chile please! Where was you and Google when that dude stole Traci’s money. Have a seat dude seriously

  5. Londa
    July 16, 2013 at 4:46 pm

    Lmao at “put them paws on life”. I busted out laughing at work. This show is like a damn train wreck. But it’s so entertaining. I feel so bad for Rasheeda. Don’t get me started on joseline ass and, I knew chick was gay last season. She was foolin no damn body!

  6. Rae
    July 16, 2013 at 4:47 pm

    The more I see of this show this season, the more it comes across as being heavily scripted. I guess Mona had to keep her “ratchet” level up for ratings. She now has the other mama(s) acting the fool.

    Joseline needs to chill. She can easily pass for early thirties.

  7. Jabari
    July 16, 2013 at 4:47 pm

    Luvvie, you know ain’t no type of good…I swear I don’t know why I take this constant abuse every Monday and at work no less….chile ain’t got the good sense God gave a turnip!!!

    YAAAAASSS for Mama Shirlene…she is so about that geriatric goon life!

    I’ma need a prayer circle started for JoHe cause more and more she’s turning into Mimi 2.0 and it’s scaring the hell outta me. She needs not to lose her “bish, please” and shade throwing abilities.

    Once you said that Drew is Chris Brown’s DJ, you told me off the bat that he ain’t worth a good shit, damb or fuck.

    And #17: #IQuitU so many times over but you right doe. You can’t just go from 0 to 60 in 5 seconds. Sometimes bishes gotta do 35 to make sense of some shit #ItsLevelsToThis

  8. Wilameena
    July 16, 2013 at 4:47 pm

    This post literally gave me the 5 extra lives I needed to get through the rest of this day!

  9. July 16, 2013 at 4:53 pm

    I almost cried reading this!!!! I need some more background on scrappy’s parents… The pimp and the preacher seem like a couple made in hoe-antics hell.

  10. Justlikehoney1
    July 16, 2013 at 5:03 pm

    I wanted SO badly for Kirk’s back tire to hit the smallest of bumps during that unnecessary ass wheelie he popped……

    • Gwendella
      July 16, 2013 at 5:58 pm

      Yessss lol

    • Christie
      July 17, 2013 at 10:19 pm

      He looked like the biggest asshole, popping a wheelie up his own country ass driveway. Like Grimace on a motorcycle. Watching that bike catch fire only made me wish that damned vest would also catch ablaze.

  11. July 16, 2013 at 5:05 pm

    Put Them Paws on Life………..I’m dying. I am so not here for Ariane’s “storyline” Like, why are they even bothering… I would much rather her go back to be the pretty friend we saw give advice from time to time…. and yes, I said the same thing about Tracie’s former “boo” looking like a swole Ne-Yo… O____O

  12. Kysses
    July 16, 2013 at 5:08 pm

    #6….Gyrllll YES! I was just saying to myself yesterday that he looks like a buff ass Ne-Yo!!!

  13. Kwan
    July 16, 2013 at 5:51 pm

    Ms. Shirlene is about that AARP Gooning life she gave not one damb about any of her tires when it came to Kirk’s bike. Even told Rasheeda to move so she could hit it again. I fell out my chair when it caught on fire.

  14. Kwan
    July 16, 2013 at 5:54 pm

    P.S. Am I the only person who gets annoyed with the way Mimi says Rasheeda’s name she says RAHsheeda with so much emphasis on the RAH ooh it irks me. The same with Scrappy and Erica you would swear their daughter was a rapper named E-Money.

    • Yadi
      July 16, 2013 at 6:58 pm

      Ikr…smh.

    • Breezy
      July 17, 2013 at 6:24 am

      Totally and completely…AGREE!!! E-Money is her name apparently. I know they’re southern but my GOODNESS!

    • Christie
      July 17, 2013 at 10:22 pm

      I thought her name was E-money for awhile.

    • July 19, 2013 at 10:06 am

      I hollered at “rapper named E-Money”!!! That was what I needed to get through the day.

  15. April
    July 16, 2013 at 5:56 pm

    Miss Shirlene probably need new shocks, struts and a wheel alignment after that but I don’t blame her one bit and could see myself doing something like. Would be at Les Schwab Tires the next day in the waiting room talking ’bout “He lucky I don’t have a Hummer”

  16. lilmamma
    July 16, 2013 at 6:12 pm

    Wtf was that Poppa J cooked for Stevie and Jose. It looked like a plate of meat loaf/chili/patte. Really it looked like boo boo. Wtf was that?

  17. Brittainny
    July 16, 2013 at 6:42 pm

    Y’all some damn fools. I laughed so hard through the post and comments that my face hurts. Did anyone else notice that all the men are sharing the same medallion ? First Stevie had it on, then kirk and the scrappy had it on.

    • Mya
      July 17, 2013 at 12:41 pm

      I knew I wasn’t crazy!! I noticed a couple episodes ago that they were sharing chains.

  18. KemaB
    July 16, 2013 at 7:19 pm

    I don’t watch the show but I love your recaps.
    Put The Paws on Life had me dying at my desk and That GIF of her Miss Shirlene running over the motorcycle with her do something feel froggy then leap bitch look in her face>>>>>>>>real freaking tears

  19. ayana
    July 16, 2013 at 8:11 pm

    man o man!! I LIVE for these recaps AND comments!! ABSOLUTE HILARITY!!! i love it!

  20. July 16, 2013 at 9:11 pm

    Hey Luvvie…first I got my EVERLASTING LIFE like the Black Keys from Miss Shirlene. I have rewound that and HOWLED many times. That the bike burst into flames was icing on the cake.

    #5 Answer: Because Drew stole that money from Traci. Ain’t no mystery business partner. Never has been. #DontbelievemeJustWatch

    • StillSuga
      July 17, 2013 at 11:28 am

      And there it is!! I never thought about it, but heck yeah he stole that money…. she got got..

    • KDS
      July 17, 2013 at 12:50 pm

      I have to agree with you on the whole money issue. I’m looking for you for my $20, HELL for $25K my whole family is on the look out!!!!!

      Besides he was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to calm when he told her about it!!!!

      • JamieP
        July 17, 2013 at 3:29 pm

        So true! His face was lying!

  21. DK
    July 17, 2013 at 2:54 am

    STRAIGHT ALL ABOUT NUMBER 20. lmao at ‘Grand Goon”

  22. Breezy
    July 17, 2013 at 6:23 am

    Listen, maybe once I regain my life back that Luvvie took from me when she said Scrappy’s Biography will be called “Put them paws on Life” (#16)I can talk to yall, until then here lies Breezy **lays flat and throws dirt on myself**
    I FRICKIN LOVE IT!!!!!!! LMAO!

  23. Saucy
    July 17, 2013 at 9:54 am

    This post gave me all my lifes. When Mama Shirlene ran over the bike and told Kirk “Don’t look at me like I’m crazy.” I DIED (again!) That had to save that scene for last. Either way I still think their whole storyline is a set up to keep them on the show. IMJ. But its lifting up my spirit every Monday night, so keep faking.

  24. 3d2002
    July 17, 2013 at 12:20 pm

    Hahahah you gave me life today!! It’s all on point, lol@ gray areas sir!! OMG!!! Joseline putting her pimp hand down. I heard on another site that Momma Dee has a bachelor’s degree in Nursing. WoW!!! Mama Shirley is doing the most, she’s in their business way too much but I have to understand that “is” her daughter,though. I mean who couldn’t tell Ariene was a lesbian, that’s old news but I guess ur right they about to set her up to get some of that “hug-love” anyway thank you for the commentary!

  25. K_Renee
    July 17, 2013 at 4:38 pm

    This list is EVERYTHING. Girl, you had me nodding like a bobblehead!

  26. Marcia
    July 19, 2013 at 11:49 am

    “YOUR BIKE IS ON FIRRRREE”!!!!#inmyaliciakeysvoice

    • vanitaapplebum
      July 23, 2013 at 2:35 pm

      *Loud cackles*

  27. E-money
    August 7, 2013 at 7:52 am

    U r da shiznyizz