I Got 20 Questions About the LHHATL Season 2 Finale
Last night was the season 2 finale of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta, and I hate to see them leave. I’m not ready. But all ratchet things must come to a seasonal end so yeah. Let’s just get right to it. I haz questions.
1. Why is Joseline trying to make fetch happen with Stevie J with this engagement? I’m so doggone disappointed. And why did his “you’re so special to me” face look like constipation? Probably because they’re both so full of shit.
2. What kinda voodoo does Stevie do to make Joseline buy him a ring, propose AND kiss his hand? Wayment. Don’t answer that. I already know. Because behind every Aint Shit dude is good peen. This is science.
3. Why did I go “aaawwww” when I saw the girls together painting Rasheeda’s baby room? Too cute. This must be the first time none of them are in bodycon dresses when they’re together.
4. Why was Scrappy talmbout how rehab was hell when he could make his own eggs and bacon? Sir, for some that is luxury. Also, why was Scrappy blaming his mama and everyone else for his weed habit? He needs to take some ACCOUNTABIZNAYEE!
5. Why is K.Michelle moving to New York City? Well, to be on Love and Hip Hop NY, which many of us weren’t here for. Good for her, though. She talmbout “it’s all about safe sex and paychecks.” Yes, girl. That’s my life motto too. (-__-)
6. Why was Joseline so geeked to tell the ladies that she proposed to Stevie? As if they won’t side-eye her to death.
7. For someone with no neck, how does Spongebob Benzino have such deep throat nerves? Dude met up with Stevie while sitting next to a low budget Mimi. He’s such a loser.
8. Who told Kirk that a car full of gifts would make Rasheeda take him back? Oh yea, it was BenziNAWL. Dude rolled up to her house with a Range Rover with toys, expecting his sins to be forgiven. Jesus forgives and the rest of us hold grudges. She shoulda been all:
But I’m glad to see Rasheeda tell him “thanks but no thanks.” You can’t be using your peen like a groupon deal if you’re married!
AND that negro had on a hat with his Twitter name on it. NAWL. Just for that, he’ont get no love ever.
9. Who can blame Ariane and Erica for going to Mimi with the news of Joseline being maybe engaged to Steebie? I’da done the same thing because I support that type of snitching. Shoo… Also, I’ma wait til Mimi’s new boobies drop before commenting on what they look like. But it seems they might be nice.
10. Why is Karlie Redd a mess? Talking about her and K.Michelle’s reuniting: “All it took was two grown ass women sitting down like two adults.” Her super power is redundancy.
11. Why am I so proud of K.Michelle? The chick is clearly growing, to be able to sit down with Rasheeda and apologize for her past wrongs. *sings* “Look at me. Look. At. MEEEEE. I AM CHANGING. Trying every way I can. I am changing. I’ll be better than I am.” Go on, girl!
12. Why didn’t Joseline cunt punt the gift that Benzino gave her across the room? You don’t create a video saying you “smashed the homie” when you didn’t and then apologize with some cheap ass chocolates. That ain’t part of the game! She shoulda been up there like this:
13. When I saw “DAY 26” flash on the screen right now, why was I was expecting a shirtless Willie to bodyroll across my TV? Turns out they were talmbout how many days Scrappy had been in rehab.
14. Why was I all touched when Scrappy was telling Erica how much he loved her and how he wants them to give the engagement another try? He really looked like he meant it too. Too bad Erica was done. You don’t take 11 years to figure out what you want. When you take a while to figure out what you really want is us, you give us a chance to figure out you weren’t what WE need. So… OOP. Erica gave him the ring back and he looked like he was bout to CRIZNYEE!
15. Why did Stevie think he was in a Babyface video from 1995 with that white piano and rose petals on the floor? Dude was even tinkering the keys and talking in a low voice when he saw Joseline. BOOOOOO!!!
16. How Aint Shit can Stevie get? Well, we keep seeing deeper levels that we probably didn’t realize existed. Who proposes to his girl and then gifts the mother of his baby a ring at the same time?!? STEVIE “WORST DUDE ON EARTH” J. That’s who.
17. Why was I CRACKING up at Mimi’s cackles? She was thoroughly enjoying Joseline wilding out on Stevie and I was thoroughly loving it all. “Who’s the maid now?” JOSELINE HERNANDEZ! *Mimi cackles* *toasts to the douchebags and assholes*
18. Why did Mona and her team act like the final scene of the season was The Notebook? They used all this dark lighting and slow shots.
19. Did anyone notice that certain folks didn’t get a final say? Karlie Redd and Kirk were left out of the festivities there, further proving their wackness. Also, Traci and Drew got a wrap up and I didn’t e’em remember they were on the show. Yeah, because Baby Bop and BJ’s storyline was really boring.
20. Why hasn’t VH1 come out with a drinking game called “At the end of the day” yet? Watching their reality TV shows, we’d be drunk 5 minutes in. And if I got a dollar for every time the phrase was used last night, I probably could buy me some nice shoes.
Next week is the LHHATL reunion and you KNOW I’m ready for that. I need to find out if Joseline kept up her “fuck love” thing after Stevie humiliated her like everyone knew he would (she didn’t. Word is they’re married). Did Scrappy stay off the WEEZNYEED? Did Momma Dee ever audition to play Scar in the Lion King on the chitlin circuit like her destiny predicts?
All this and more will be answered next week. I cannot wait!
Did y’all watch last night? Whatchu think?
P.S. I have a Joseline gif for many situations that life calls for. Of this, I am proud.