The Bossiest Birth Certificate You Ever Did See
Folks have been all up in Kate Middleton’s Love Pocket since she got married to Prince William and it only got worse when she got pregnant. A couple of weeks ago, she finally had the Royal Baby, and the world cheered collectively. Because apparently, we all got a nephew we won’t ever see or know.
I can’t blame those who were excited though. Because you know doggone well folks threw parties when Blue Ivy was born. She’s the closest we have to a royal baby in the U.S. right now.
Anywho, the baby’s birth certificate was just released (Huffington Post got it), filled out by pops William and his chicken scratch handwriting. And I must say that this birth certificate’s content is pretty bad ass.
His Royal Highness Prince George Alexander Louis of Cambridge
The only way this birth certificate could be anymore BAWSE is if the ink used to print it was molten 24K gold. Seriously.
First of all, the baby’s name is LEGALLY “His Royal Highness…” You can’t just walk around calling him “George Alexander.” NAWL. If he was to ever have a resumé (laughable but go with me here), he has to put “His Royal Highness Prince George” at the top. That’s pretty damb dope.
Let me take this moment to side-eye all those fools and hoodrats who’ve named their children based on their wishes to be royalty. Names like “Jermajesty.” I’m looking at YOU, Jermaine Jackson, the biggest and greasiest hoodrat of them all. If you ask the mirror mirror on the wall, I’m pretty sure it’ll confirm this.
Another cool thing is that Prince George’s parents’ jobs are “Prince and Princess of the United Kingdom.” SIR WELPINGTON OF WELPCHESTER! How awesome is that?? The only thing I can claim is Princess of My Blog. Dang. Their jobs are basically to just be. They exist to just do what they wanna do and have fancy dinners with their non-smiling Granny who happens to be the Queen.
These parents are basically the folks Disney draw up for their fairy tales.
Lil Royal George, you are winning. Especially since your address is a damb palace. The address should be “10 W. That giant epic house where the Queen lives Avenue.”
But yes. I just had to comment on how dope this birth certificate is. Just aristocratically (or Gone with the Wind) fabulous.
Now wave. And wave. *twirls like Kenya Moore*
P.S. A lotta folks are tripping about William’s handwriting. Did they expect him to pen this in calligraphy? Also, this is a generalization but I will roll with it – most men I know write like their fingers are broken. I know some who can’t even read their own handwriting. This is why God invented keyboards.
P.P.S. So their last name is basically now “Of Cambridge?” Man… the royals are strange and I’m intrigued.