This Old Clip of Rihanna Singing is the Real Reason for Side-Eye
Rihanna is one of the biggest rock stars at this point because she’s young, beautiful and loves mayhem. And she happens to sing. Or at least she gets on a stage with a mic and notes come out of her mouth. So in THAT regard, sure you can call her a singer. Just like you can call the author of “50 Shades of Gray” a writer because she picked up a pen.
I’d say “no shade” here but I just threw so much that shade that the stars are wondering if they need to come to my house to provide light.
ENNEHWEIGHS, I was sent a link to the video below (tweeted by Ri-ri’s archnemesis Teyana Taylor) and I laughed so hard I hurt my throat.
*DEAD* Rihanna outchea sounding like a dying cat who’s fighting against the inevitable. Like ma’am. Them high notes you’re tryna reach are running away from you. Stop chasing them. “There’s a hero” who realized she couldn’t sing this song so she didn’t attempt it. I’m just saying.
But what made this video so cackle-worthy was the the AMAZING mashup of shade that followed.
Chaka Khan looks fed up.
Dionne Warwick is like “Girl… WUT?”
Patti LaBelle is like “I don’t have time.”
Beyonce is like “Who gon tell her that was terrible?”
Aretha is unable to deal.
And Rock and Roe just don’t understand.
Maggie Smith is like “WELP! We’re done here.”
And Shady Grady Cat wants to add his thoughts with one look.
Bless young Rihanna’s heart. She tried. Well, new Rihanna is slightly improved vocally but she must NEVER EVER attempt another Mariah Carey song. EVER. In her life.
What did Rihanna sound like to you? Methinks she sounds like scattering roaches. But that’s just me.
P.S. I admit that I wrote this whole post just so I could have a reason to use this picture of the shady cat. I’m so here for him. He is indeed my spirit animal.