Scandal is BACK! Season 3: Episode 1 Handled It!
Scandal is BACK, yall! I’ve been preparing for this moment ALL MY LIFE (ok 4 months, but still). Gladiators everywhere have analyzed the show to pieces and got our minds ready to see what Shonda Rhimes was gonna serve us for season three and last night was finally the time!
I was in a room with 200 women at the #CBTVScandal watch party at Blogalicious and it was like being in a giant living room.
Chile… look. From the second the show started til the minute it ended, I had to hyperfocus because they packed SO MUCH into that hour. Let’s just get into it.
Rowan’s Rousing Read – Olivia rides in a limo with Daddy Goon (Rowan) and he takes her to some airplane hanger space and proceeds to read our girl for FILTH AND TRASH! He dropkicked her emotions through the goalposts of life, telling her “You opened your knees and gave it to a man with too much power.” WELL DANG, Daddy! NO ONE has ever snatched Liv’s wig like this and all she could so was look down and pout.
When he told her “I am the hell and high water” I had to give props. ROWAN POPE THE KING GOON, ladies and gents!”
After he was good and done, he told her she needs to disappear for eight months and get a new life. She goes along with it and gets on the plane. When she calls Cyrus, he tells her not to run and she decides to face the music. Rowan was NOT pleased!
Sally and Cyrus Supreme Shade – Cyrus and Fitz summon VP Sally Langston to the Oval Office because of the mess they have on their hands. They ask her to appear publicly on the POTUS’ behalf as the chaos dies down and she ain’t tryna have it. She’s talmbout she’s the Lord’s witness and I bet the Lord is somewhere like “the devil is a lie!” Meanwhile, Cyrus tells her the Lord ain’t fill out no voter registration cards, so she basically needs to saddown.
But then she comes for him, saying “I have never once mentioned what I think of your Godless homosexual lifestyle and that poor sweet brown baby you dragged into it.” VP Sally is so damb CHILL-deficient!
President Ghost tells Cyrus he needs to talk to his VP in private, and then he basically does his version of Usher’s “Confessions” to appeal to her pitying side or something. She finally agrees to do what they want her to do.
Going Back to Gladiate – Olivia heads back to the OPA offices and when she pulls up, there’s Press everywhere. She can’t e’em come out the car until Huck opens the door and rushes her in, with Harrison right behind. When she changes out her workout clothes, the Gladiators ask her what’s next and she says “business as usual.” NAWL, LIV! That ain’t how it goes.
Snitches Without Stitches – Mellie sees Hal chilling in the hall and she asks him if he leaked Olivia’s name when he went to a DC bar that reporters go to. He says he just mentioned him having an affair. UGH I HATE HAL!!! I ain’t here for his loose-lipped ass. How are you gon be Secret Service when you can’t keep N’AN SECRET?!? They could tattoo a secret to Hal and it’d somehow wash off.
Dingy White Hat – Lemony Snicket (David Rosen) comes to see Olivia as a friend and he brings up her white hat, which is clearly dingy gray by now. All this drama. Liv’s hat gon need bleach. Right then, it’s announced on the news that there’s footage of President Ghost coming out of Liv’s apartment building. UH OH! Trouble dey!
Kill Folder – The footage has Cyrus spooked so he tells someone to start the Olivia Pope “Kill Folder.” Because he’s the kinda dude who has NO allegiance to anyone. Cyrus ain’t bout that life. Anyways, Harrison calls him and he hangs up on him because he’s rude and terrible. But we find out some tea on Olivia Caroline Pope. Her mom died in a plane crash when she was 12 years old, and Liv has a thing for older powerful guys. I believe the latter but the former might not be true. I have a feeling that Liv’s mama is still alive, but she’s a top flight CIA operative of the world. DONBELEEMEJUHWAH!
2 Legit 2 Quit – Olivia is headed to her car in a parking garage when her daddy pops up. Apparently, that wig snatch from earlier wasn’t enough. Also, why isn’t Liv with security ALLATAHM?!? For someone who is so high profile, they leave her vulnerable too doggone often.
Liv asks Poppa Goon where her fallback boo, Jake, is and he doesn’t tell her. Reminded me of when DeAngelo asked Stringer “Where Wallace at, String?” I digress. He does tell her to realize that she’s pretty powerless and she hits him with the “I am NEVER out of options!” Yes, MA’AM! Olivia Pope is 2 Legit 2 Quit.
“Hi” to Providence – Olivia makes a phone call and uses the word Providence. Next we see her doing her signature strut down a hallway in an AMAZING white trench that gave me what I NEED!!! I just need to take this moment to talk about how glorious that joint was. AMEN.
When the door opens, Olviia hears “Hi.” and it’s President Ghost waiting for her. YESSSS, LAWD!!! I did a church scoot at this moment. Ain’t no “hi” segzier. The sweetness is only momentary as Fitz starts scolding her for using the code for high alert situations. She basically did the equivalent of yelling “FIRE!” Whoops. Well it’s important to her because this situation is bigger than both of them. Liv tells him “all of us are here” and he wonders who the “all” is as his wife walks in.
Two Times – Mellie walks in and Fitz tried to question her presence, so she looks at Liv and tells him his “whore” asked her to be there. I ain’t e’em gon be mad at her for calling Liv such because if I was her, I’da called Ms. Pope WAY worse. I’m petty so… Anyway, the point is to fix this situation and Fitz recommends that they just tell the truth. And this is why don’t nobody ask him for solutions. He’s so damb simple. Liv comes up with a plan to have the First Couple do a press conference and they admit to Fitz having an affair, they apologize and she makes a statement saying she’s sorry.
But Mellie says they can only admit they slept together twice. She’s basically fed up, and she got the right to be because when President Ghost got shot, the name he called out was Olivia’s.
The knucklehead she’s married to throws it in her face by saying “That is me being in love with another woman.” Fitz is THE WORST!!! This is why he can’t have nice things, like real power and opinions on situations. There’s one thing to be a cheating trollop, but to constantly throw the love for your mistress in your wife’s face is just unnecessary, President Ghost!
When Mellie leaves, Fitz takes off his jacket and pulls Liv into a hug as she sobs. Aawwwww! Woo woo woo, Olivia girl.
Scotch and Sally – VP Sally joins Fitz for some scotch in the Oval Office, and he tells her he’s gonna come clean to the public. “After my speech, there will be a window. Climb through it. Be bold. Condemn me. Male yourself the moral center of the party.” Chile, he’s so fed up that he basically wants to GIVE her his seat. And he of course had to throw in a Mellie jab in there. He ain’t right.
Bitching Gladiators – The gooning Gladiator in Gingham (Harrison) rallies the troops to fix what Olivia doesn’t want them to. When they express doubt, he gives them a verbal wedgie by asking “ARE WE GLADIATORS OR ARE WE BITCHES?!”
Welpy McWelpington of Welpland. GO IN THEN, BRO! Hey boo heyyyyy!
The plotting that the Gladiators were doing finally comes to light. They set up a White House Aide to take the fall as the other woman that Fitz was seeing (instead of Olivia), without her consent. She was basically an innocent bystander to the web of chaos, and the press has a field day. Olivia finds out, storms into the OPA conference room and demands “WHAT DID YOU DO?!?” Uh-oh. Also to be noted, Liv had on black here. Oh it’s really real now, huh?
Ghost Leak – Mellie walks into the Oval Office to see Fitz, who is wondering why the girl named Jeannine was brought into the madness. First Lady tells him that she knows he’s the one who leaked Olivia’s name to the press, because he thought then he could bring her in as his main lady. GUESS AGAIN, PRESIDENT GHOST! He got Tom, his other Secret Service dude, to leak Liv’s name while in that reporter-loved bar and there they are. Fitz admits that he did it so that Mellie can’t dangle the knowledge of their love over Liv anymore.
He’s so doggone DONE with her.
Charlie’s Latest Mission – Cyrus gets home and walks in his bedroom to find Charlie sitting there. James isn’t moving and looks dead but Charlie tells him not to worry because he’s only in a drug-induced nap. That shady summabish. Anywhere you see Charlie, it’s for the worst stuff.
Charlie’s takes Cyrus to Rowan, who really loves terribly lit rooms. Daddy Goon asks Cyrus if he knows about a military mission that Fitz and Jake once had in Iran and Beene only knows the skeleton details. Poppa Pope hands him a file and tells him to read about what really happened, and whatever it was made Cyrus say “Oh my God.”
Aw hell. I feel like hell or high water is about to be what we see in next week’s episode, because the girl Jeannine is now a client of OPA.
Chile, I can’t. I don’t even know how to can. My ability to can is currently furloughed.
When the show ended, I stood onstage with my #CBTVScandal co-host Kailei and just scratched my head. SO. MUCH. HAPPENED. I gotta let is marinate a little bit more.
But I have a couple of final thoughts
– Poppa Pope was a bit harsh but one of the things he said really had a G pause for the truthiness. He told Liv “You have to be twice as good to get half of what they have.” I wanted to find a handkerchief to THROW it because it’s such fact in so many of our lives. POPPA DON’T PREACH! I’M IN TROUBLE DEEP Realness.
– Mellie was a BEAST in this episode! She gets a bad rap but she’s a real G who has the right to be ALLL levels of pissed at Fitz and Liv. And Fitz ALWAYS underestimates her. It will always come back and bite him in the yansh.
– Cyrus is dirtier than old chicken grease. Dude ain’t bout that life AT ALL! But I still love him.
I got a couple of questions:
- Do you think Olivia’s mom really died when she was 12?
- Why did President Ghost really leak Liv’s name?
- What do you think was in the folder that Cyrus read?
Gladiators ROAR in the comments. Whatcha think of the beginning of season 3?
P.S. Check out my top 10 moments of the episode on CelebrateBlackTV.com. Also, catch info about the fashion of Scandal on there.