Whose is this?

Whose Wise Baby is This? (And Foolery From My Readers)

I think babies are cute by default because they’re so little and small things lean towards cute. And some babies are born cute AND looking like they’ve been here before. You’ve seen those mini humans. They just look like they hold a wisdom of the years and these are the kids you gotta give strong names to. Names like Rufus, Jebediah, Orelius or Bertha. You can’t name babies who’ve been here before stuff like Jessica, Zach or Timmy. Nope. They need to be called Wilbur or Clementine from jump!

I came across a picture of this baby a while ago and I immediately wanted to get off his lawn, because I was sure he was gonna chase me off it.

Wise baby

He just looks like he ain’t here for any of us or our boolsheet. Like he was born with an already low tolerance for foolishness. He ain’t got the TAHM! This baby was probably Moses’ tour guide in them deserts. He got some wisdom beyond our time.

I posted Young Jebediah’s pic on my Facebook fan page last year and the comments from my readers almost had me LAID OUT!

“He’s been here before…and still doesn’t like what he sees.” – MB

“As my granny says, his parents are old. – ABR

“Benjamin Button and Yoda had a baby???” – CM

“Ole all knowing ass baby.” – LVA

“He looks like if you asked him what was going on, he’d sigh and say “Life, man.”‘ – JL

“Man, he looks like he’s bout 2 lecture me about my disappointing behavior. In James Earl Jones’s voice. *sends myself to my room*” – BTM

“I’ve decided… the child’s name is Joseephus.” – RBN

“All the children in the nursery look up to him.” – ABR

“Look baby is not on any of our runs okay. He’s too busy telling his grandkids to pull up their pants and that kids these days have no respect for their elders.” – ACS

“Leave the child alone …he has a difficult beauty.” – MT

“I think he just tired and a lil pissed that his milk is lactose instead of soy.” – TD

“He’s PISSED that he miscalculated his retirement date and found out he has to work 2 more years.” – MW

“Yes….the knowledge is written all over his face” – VG

“I looked at that picture and said to myself, “Diane (I call myself Diane), that baby doesn’t look a day over 63.” – MW

“He’s not here for any of us. He has to go down the VA, pick his clothes up from the dry cleaners and get it done before his Deacon Board meeting.” – CT

DEAD elevator gif

“You can’t tell me this baby has not waded in water with Harriet Tubman in his former life!” – MB

“Baby looks like he’s 20 minutes outta freedom with a story to tell.” – RBN

“I want one just like him. He looks like he just KNOWS things. I’d ask him all my major life questions like, what is my purpose, should I get my phD…shat like that. I bet if he had been born at the time he’d known where Bin Laden was WAY before Obama ‘nem. This Oracle Baby is way smarter than everyone on here commenting about him, including me. I bet once he talks he’s gonna sound just like Stewie from Family Guy. I heart him. I tell you what though, if he was staring at me I already know I’d be the first to look away…” – AP

“This is what Lebron is gonna look like once he stops wearing a headband.” – JL

“He look like he reminiscing about when he used to kick it with maya angelou and cicely tyson lol” – AZS

“This baby gets Similac and Social Security all in the same day.” – RW

“This baby drives a white 1982 Cadillac Eldorado with red leather interior and steers the wheel with the palm of his hand.” – KW 

“I’m pretty sure he doesn’t smell of Johnson and Johnson baby lotion and such finery. Nope. Only Cubans and Woodford Reserve.” – TJ

“This baby smokes Kools Super Longs.” – CG

“Waiting for his hands to grow so he can wear that pinky ring with the three diamonds across the top.” – EEZ 

“I betcha he drinks goat milk.” – KGC

‘This ole Color Purple looking baby. “Why you calls huh Olivia ifn that ain’t huh name?” “Well I calls Ole Livia cause she got some old eyes.” – FSM

And then people started captioning it with what Young Jebediah is saying:

“I’ve known rivers: Ancient, dusky rivers.” – JL

“Nobody knows, the troubles I’ve seen, nobody knows my struggle!” – PD

“I can’t believe they talmbout raising my property taxes again.” – CT

“hmm…its the 15th. Where is my SSI check?” – ABR

“One of ya’ll chirren run down to the store & get me a Peach Nehi.” – CT

“I wonder what kinda pudding they got in the cafe.. Is it tapioca or vanilla” – PD

“How long were you in?” “I was supposed to be in for 40 weeks, but they kept me for 42, son!! FORTY-TWO!!! You don’t know my struggle.” – JL

Everyone is going to hell with gasoline pannie draws on. I ain’t lying. WHOOOO!!! Every single time I put a picture on my Facebook fan page, the comments make my day because my readers are just the most chill-deficient and funniest people EVER! I love them so murch. It’s like I have 16,000 ratchet cousins from all over the world.

Join the Awesomely Luvvie Foolishment Family on Facebook, y’all!

So what are your thoughts on Young Aloysius? Ain’t he cute and wise?

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82 Comments

  1. October 16, 2013 at 10:45 am

    Ole “Nobody knows the trouboh’s I seent” ass baby.

    This baby is the infant version of Old Man River.

    • Tarah
      October 16, 2013 at 12:18 pm

      I hate everything you stand for LV!! And I’m mad that I said the words outload in my Ms. Sophia from The Color Purple voice!! DEAD @ “seent” You did that!!

      • Shakira
        November 18, 2013 at 6:10 pm

        Both of you, to the corner. Right NAH!!! *climbs in grave*

  2. October 16, 2013 at 10:47 am

    I KNOW that MB belongs to Maria Bruce! I know that snark anywhere! LMMFAO y’all ain’t bout nuffin. “LEAF” Mr. Aloe-wish-us alone!

    • Ria B
      October 16, 2013 at 11:11 am

      I’ve finally made it!!!!

  3. Jenna
    October 16, 2013 at 10:51 am

    I’m breaking up with you behind this!

  4. kwan
    October 16, 2013 at 10:59 am

    Hahaaaaaaaaa I’m trying so hard not to bol in this library. That baby looks like he keeps a pocket full of change and peppermints for the grandkids.

    • MsZ
      October 16, 2013 at 2:36 pm

      Not change and peppermints!!! “Lemme see what Paw Paw has in his pocket” Ahhahahahaha!!

    • Shae
      October 16, 2013 at 3:35 pm

      I’ve been having a tough week, but this comment just made my day. My grandfather always gave me the change out of his pocket when he came to visit, and my granny always gave me a peppermint from the bottom of her purse in chuuuch to keep me quiet.

      • RavenJ
        October 16, 2013 at 6:20 pm

        My granny would give me Lifesavers. 🙂

      • Kwan
        October 17, 2013 at 4:52 pm

        My Gran-daddy got fancy on us one time with Werther’s Original.

    • Christie
      October 19, 2013 at 9:53 am

      Werthers Originals.

  5. KieshaB
    October 16, 2013 at 11:01 am

    “Leave the child alone …he has a difficult beauty.” – MT

    I love this person. I want to marry them.

    • emti
      October 16, 2013 at 11:45 am

      Ring first please;-)

      • Trina
        October 16, 2013 at 12:20 pm

        “Difficult Beauty” is my new favorite adjective of all time.

        Thank you for making me whole, Emti.

  6. MsZ
    October 16, 2013 at 11:13 am

    I imagine him singing “What a Wonderful World”….This cracks me up in my head!

    • Nita
      October 16, 2013 at 11:24 am

      Or A Change is Gonna Come!!

    • Renners
      October 16, 2013 at 12:11 pm

      or…”it ain’t easy being green”

  7. jenny
    October 16, 2013 at 11:29 am

    Could you PUH LEEZ put some share this post links on your blog?! HI LAR EE OUS! too much work to copy & paste link! ha

  8. jenny
    October 16, 2013 at 11:31 am

    OMG DERRR! saw them after i posted….i am usually on my iphone and i don’t think the share this buttons show up….

  9. Mz. Niecy
    October 16, 2013 at 11:33 am

    Baby looking like “I told them that I don’t want to watch no damn Sesame Street, put the tv on the news and let me be!”

    • Renners
      October 16, 2013 at 12:16 pm

      omfg! my dad doesn’t know the tv lineup in our area when he comes to visit. just put it on the news. how the F*ck you gon watch the depressing ass news all damn day. i am dying!!!

      • Mz. Niecy
        October 17, 2013 at 9:55 am

        I can’t watch that shit there is nothing good there at all, all kinds of shit to scare you into a hole for the next 20 yrs

  10. MC
    October 16, 2013 at 12:08 pm

    ‘This ole Color Purple looking baby. “Why you calls huh Olivia ifn that ain’t huh name?” “Well I calls Ole Livia cause she got some old eyes.” – FSM

    This comment has given me life!! I will be fired for reading blogs and hollering on this here day!

  11. October 16, 2013 at 12:21 pm

    “He’s PISSED that he miscalculated his retirement date and found out he has to work 2 more years.” – MW

    THIS!!!!!!!!!! I hate alla y’all!!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!

  12. October 16, 2013 at 12:22 pm

    I think this is fine baby picture of Morgan Freeman.

    • kwan
      October 16, 2013 at 1:49 pm

      HAHAAAAAA *presses life alert button* Listen I remember saying I bet no one would never find a baby picture of Morgan Freeman, my friend said “That’s because he was born old”. Him and Cicely.

  13. Lisa S
    October 16, 2013 at 1:06 pm

    This baby looks like he’s got bills…mortgage, student loans, car payments and owes dues in the church!

    • Shakira
      November 18, 2013 at 6:15 pm

      This. This comment right here. I’m about to cough up a lung laughin so damn hard!

  14. October 16, 2013 at 1:56 pm

    “He’s not here for any of us. He has to go down the VA, pick his clothes up from the dry cleaners and get it done before his Deacon Board meeting.” – CT <<<<<<<<<<< THISSSSS.. Im dead with the guy in the elevator!!!!!

  15. LuckBALady
    October 16, 2013 at 1:59 pm

    Not “Young Aloysius” #doe

  16. October 16, 2013 at 2:57 pm

    the first time i saw this pic years ago, i thought, “wow…so THIS is James Earl Jones’ baby picture!” But yeah, this is definitely the light skin version of Benjamin Button lol

  17. October 16, 2013 at 3:37 pm

    That baby looks like him and James Baldwin sat around talking about literature and reminiscing about the Harlem Renaissance.

    • Petranilla
      October 16, 2013 at 11:20 pm

      Yesss Lord he did. He probably taught Paul Robeson to sing “Old Man River”

  18. Jma
    October 16, 2013 at 4:25 pm

    Where is this child now?, we need to start a scholarship for oracle baby. He has already worked out a simple explanation of Higgs boson

    • Nptexas
      October 16, 2013 at 11:49 pm

      He knows Stephen Hawkins already

  19. I've
    October 16, 2013 at 4:43 pm

    Luvvie….it was a very stressful day….but after reading this post and finding myself cracking up I just had to say “Thank you” thank you for what you do…..you made my evening…..many blessings to you.

  20. M
    October 16, 2013 at 6:23 pm

    Adds “difficult beauty” to vocabulary list. 🙂 #welcomebackluvvie

  21. Margaret
    October 16, 2013 at 8:44 pm

    This baby was born to be someone’s Drunkle.

    • Lady B
      October 16, 2013 at 8:54 pm

      Now adding “Drunkle” to my list of most commonly used phrases!

      • Margaret
        October 16, 2013 at 9:10 pm

        EVERYONE has a Drunkle. BTW, all credit for the term Drunkle goes to @vinabean.

        • Nptexas
          October 16, 2013 at 11:46 pm

          I had a Draddy who sang Ole Man River..

  22. Lady B
    October 16, 2013 at 8:46 pm

    He said:
    “Whoo, is gon rain summin fierce and cause the crick to swell. Any tahm them rainstorms comin my ‘ritis starts to ack up. Y’all cut the tv off ‘fore that lightnin start”
    God Bless Jedidiah’s old heart!

  23. DeLisa
    October 16, 2013 at 8:51 pm

    SMACKS LIPS…Now they know they are wrong for this government shutdown mess! Now I got to be bothered with her all day….when she going back to work…damn!

  24. LNicole
    October 16, 2013 at 8:54 pm

    Gollum + Yoda + too many drinks + a drunken frolic + a hard labor = GoYo, the aftermath.

  25. Kayla
    October 16, 2013 at 8:59 pm

    So THIS is what Red Foxx and E.T.’s baby would look like…

    ::walks away whistling::

    • Elle
      April 3, 2014 at 10:25 am

      This right here. Lawd Jesus1!!!

  26. October 16, 2013 at 11:52 pm

    Lawd Luvvie, I feel like I’m getting an asthma attack from stifling laughter! This baby’s photo is the dream of meme makers everywhere. He’ll be the sullen king of Tumblr saying, “Heavy is the head that wears the crown.”

  27. mordecai72
    October 17, 2013 at 9:02 am

    this baby look like it aint never gonna eat nothing but soft food. THat baby got dentures somewhere. Elderly baby came out the womb and didn’t cry but gave a heavy sigh. I bet 3 people already done ran to the sto’ for this baby.

    • Shakira
      November 18, 2013 at 6:18 pm

      I quit you.

  28. mordecai72
    October 17, 2013 at 9:11 am

    Lawd my friend just said this baby look like Thurston Howell the third, aint there aint even no first or second. So of course I said thats cuz its his third time round. Probably lived to 99 the first 2 times cuz his face look like _Damn, almost made it to 100 and now I gotta start all over again._

    • ZaidahNicole
      October 30, 2013 at 5:22 pm

      I quit.

  29. mordecai72
    October 17, 2013 at 9:12 am

    this baby’s cries sound raspy

    • Elita
      October 18, 2013 at 7:53 am

      NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

    • NeNe
      October 18, 2013 at 8:49 am

      cant.breathe.

  30. KPneedsanap
    October 17, 2013 at 11:31 am

    I thought we were all supposed to be family. Clearly, none of y’all care if I keep my job. I’m not supposed cackle in here…or go SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIT when I read “difficult beauty.” I’m about to fire my damn self.

    • October 17, 2013 at 5:21 pm

      He looks like his first word was, “SHEEEEEEEEEEIT.”

  31. Titi
    October 17, 2013 at 11:40 am

    Po’ baby… still waiting on that dialysis, I see…

  32. Tony
    October 17, 2013 at 3:30 pm

    Back in my day, us babies could crap wherever we damn well wanted, and people just accepted that. *Sigh* Oh how times have changed.

  33. Dia
    October 17, 2013 at 3:33 pm
    • October 17, 2013 at 3:37 pm

      I. AM. CRYING! I mean laughing so hard that I’m shaking silently as tears pour from my face. THAT LINK! THAT BABY! THE CAPTION!!!

    • Kwan
      October 17, 2013 at 4:58 pm

      Hahahaaaaaaa lawd ex wife at that

    • ZaidahNicole
      October 30, 2013 at 5:20 pm

      *gives up the ghost*

    • CiCi
      October 31, 2013 at 2:23 pm

      NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO please NO MAS!!!! that’s Althea right there!!! I’m at my desk crying laughing. mmmmmmmmm chile’!!

  34. rikyrah
    October 18, 2013 at 8:14 am

    I laughed so hard that I got those laugh stomach cramps

  35. Calvin
    October 18, 2013 at 5:17 pm

    Butt-ugly bastard.

  36. LadyO
    October 21, 2013 at 6:59 pm

    This baby looks like he tried to buy a loosey cigarette from the corner and they told him we don’t sell loosies. The struggle is real man.

  37. J Rigsby
    October 21, 2013 at 7:06 pm

    I am not going to hell with ya’ll.

  38. Adjpants
    October 23, 2013 at 8:12 am

    LAWD… y’all ain’t shit and I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR IT. In this library cackling with tears running down my cheeks. They’re gonna suspend my membership for this…

  39. CiCi
    October 31, 2013 at 2:21 pm

    Baby Cleophious. Bless his heart. Soon as he came out the womb he had them AARP discounts.

  40. Shakira
    November 18, 2013 at 6:23 pm

    Everyone on this here thread. Every. Single. One-a-ya’s is goin to hell. And I’ll be right there with you and it will be a party.

  41. march pisces
    January 17, 2014 at 2:02 pm

    three months later and this baby still gives me life. lawd forgive me, but he breaks up a rough day with a good laugh….like wale he is all out of fiz-uks!

  42. Chevonne22
    March 26, 2014 at 11:01 am

    He looks like he’s been runnin for Jesus for a long time…and he finally got tired.

  43. April 2, 2014 at 10:11 pm

    Why y’all looking at me ain’t no one got time for that

  44. Christy Stover
    April 2, 2014 at 10:23 pm

    Why did I decide to read this when everyone else is sleeping? *face down*pounding fists*CRYING*

  45. Angie B.
    April 2, 2014 at 11:25 pm

    This was the funniest thing I’ve read in a long ass time. Y’all went in on a baby!! Hilarious! lol
    By the way..I named him Carl.

  46. Chanel René
    April 3, 2014 at 2:44 am

    LMBO!! These comments got me soooo weak!! I bet one of his favorite songs is “Cooling Water” by the Williams Brothers (He may even be one of the group members lol) #Lordforgiveme

  47. Nicole
    April 3, 2014 at 5:36 am

    HEARTLESS… That’s the only word I can think of. This is my nephew who fought for his life. Almost died at birth, and u put him on your page and make a mockery of him. Hope u feel 100% better about ur own life.

  48. Kawanis
    April 3, 2014 at 7:33 am

    “Baby looks like he’s 20 minutes outta freedom with a story to tell.”
    …I laughed so hard at this comment, I ended up having to take ibuprofen because I got a headache. I kid you not. I don’t know if I am looking at a different picture, but that baby is ADORABLE to me.

  49. Melanie
    April 3, 2014 at 10:35 am

    This is the first time I’ve read of your blog, and it won’t be the last. I’ve gone through a whole box of tissues and probably should have worn Depends while reading this.

  50. mimi
    April 5, 2014 at 10:20 am

    He look like he cried real tears when President Obama got elected & stated “I never thought I’d see this day…”

  51. Lincoln
    April 6, 2014 at 11:36 pm

    Looks like he’s waiting for someone to come back from the store with his ‘Tussin. Can’t be takin all day. He needs some to drink, and grandma got s sore on her leg that won’t close up.