Whose Wise Baby is This? (And Foolery From My Readers)

I think babies are cute by default because they’re so little and small things lean towards cute. And some babies are born cute AND looking like they’ve been here before. You’ve seen those mini humans. They just look like they hold a wisdom of the years and these are the kids you gotta give strong names to. Names like Rufus, Jebediah, Orelius or Bertha. You can’t name babies who’ve been here before stuff like Jessica, Zach or Timmy. Nope. They need to be called Wilbur or Clementine from jump!

I came across a picture of this baby a while ago and I immediately wanted to get off his lawn, because I was sure he was gonna chase me off it.

Wise baby

He just looks like he ain’t here for any of us or our boolsheet. Like he was born with an already low tolerance for foolishness. He ain’t got the TAHM! This baby was probably Moses’ tour guide in them deserts. He got some wisdom beyond our time.

I posted Young Jebediah’s pic on my Facebook fan page last year and the comments from my readers almost had me LAID OUT!

“He’s been here before…and still doesn’t like what he sees.” – MB

“As my granny says, his parents are old. – ABR

“Benjamin Button and Yoda had a baby???” – CM

“Ole all knowing ass baby.” – LVA

“He looks like if you asked him what was going on, he’d sigh and say “Life, man.”‘ – JL

“Man, he looks like he’s bout 2 lecture me about my disappointing behavior. In James Earl Jones’s voice. *sends myself to my room*” – BTM

“I’ve decided… the child’s name is Joseephus.” – RBN

“All the children in the nursery look up to him.” – ABR

“Look baby is not on any of our runs okay. He’s too busy telling his grandkids to pull up their pants and that kids these days have no respect for their elders.” – ACS

“Leave the child alone …he has a difficult beauty.” – MT

“I think he just tired and a lil pissed that his milk is lactose instead of soy.” – TD

“He’s PISSED that he miscalculated his retirement date and found out he has to work 2 more years.” – MW

“Yes….the knowledge is written all over his face” – VG

“I looked at that picture and said to myself, “Diane (I call myself Diane), that baby doesn’t look a day over 63.” – MW

“He’s not here for any of us. He has to go down the VA, pick his clothes up from the dry cleaners and get it done before his Deacon Board meeting.” – CT

DEAD elevator gif

“You can’t tell me this baby has not waded in water with Harriet Tubman in his former life!” – MB

“Baby looks like he’s 20 minutes outta freedom with a story to tell.” – RBN

“I want one just like him. He looks like he just KNOWS things. I’d ask him all my major life questions like, what is my purpose, should I get my phD…shat like that. I bet if he had been born at the time he’d known where Bin Laden was WAY before Obama ‘nem. This Oracle Baby is way smarter than everyone on here commenting about him, including me. I bet once he talks he’s gonna sound just like Stewie from Family Guy. I heart him. I tell you what though, if he was staring at me I already know I’d be the first to look away…” – AP

“This is what Lebron is gonna look like once he stops wearing a headband.” – JL

“He look like he reminiscing about when he used to kick it with maya angelou and cicely tyson lol” – AZS

“This baby gets Similac and Social Security all in the same day.” – RW

“This baby drives a white 1982 Cadillac Eldorado with red leather interior and steers the wheel with the palm of his hand.” – KW 

“I’m pretty sure he doesn’t smell of Johnson and Johnson baby lotion and such finery. Nope. Only Cubans and Woodford Reserve.” – TJ

“This baby smokes Kools Super Longs.” – CG

“Waiting for his hands to grow so he can wear that pinky ring with the three diamonds across the top.” – EEZ 

“I betcha he drinks goat milk.” – KGC

‘This ole Color Purple looking baby. “Why you calls huh Olivia ifn that ain’t huh name?” “Well I calls Ole Livia cause she got some old eyes.” – FSM

And then people started captioning it with what Young Jebediah is saying:

“I’ve known rivers: Ancient, dusky rivers.” – JL

“Nobody knows, the troubles I’ve seen, nobody knows my struggle!” – PD

“I can’t believe they talmbout raising my property taxes again.” – CT

“hmm…its the 15th. Where is my SSI check?” – ABR

“One of ya’ll chirren run down to the store & get me a Peach Nehi.” – CT

“I wonder what kinda pudding they got in the cafe.. Is it tapioca or vanilla” – PD

“How long were you in?” “I was supposed to be in for 40 weeks, but they kept me for 42, son!! FORTY-TWO!!! You don’t know my struggle.” – JL

Everyone is going to hell with gasoline pannie draws on. I ain’t lying. WHOOOO!!! Every single time I put a picture on my Facebook fan page, the comments make my day because my readers are just the most chill-deficient and funniest people EVER! I love them so murch. It’s like I have 16,000 ratchet cousins from all over the world.

Join the Awesomely Luvvie Foolishment Family on Facebook, y’all!

So what are your thoughts on Young Aloysius? Ain’t he cute and wise?

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • LV October 16, 2013, 10:45 am

    Ole “Nobody knows the trouboh’s I seent” ass baby.

    This baby is the infant version of Old Man River.

    • Tarah October 16, 2013, 12:18 pm

      I hate everything you stand for LV!! And I’m mad that I said the words outload in my Ms. Sophia from The Color Purple voice!! DEAD @ “seent” You did that!!

      • Shakira November 18, 2013, 6:10 pm

        Both of you, to the corner. Right NAH!!! *climbs in grave*

  • kweenflyy October 16, 2013, 10:47 am

    I KNOW that MB belongs to Maria Bruce! I know that snark anywhere! LMMFAO y’all ain’t bout nuffin. “LEAF” Mr. Aloe-wish-us alone!

    • Ria B October 16, 2013, 11:11 am

      I’ve finally made it!!!!

  • Jenna October 16, 2013, 10:51 am

    I’m breaking up with you behind this!

  • kwan October 16, 2013, 10:59 am

    Hahaaaaaaaaa I’m trying so hard not to bol in this library. That baby looks like he keeps a pocket full of change and peppermints for the grandkids.

    • MsZ October 16, 2013, 2:36 pm

      Not change and peppermints!!! “Lemme see what Paw Paw has in his pocket” Ahhahahahaha!!

    • Shae October 16, 2013, 3:35 pm

      I’ve been having a tough week, but this comment just made my day. My grandfather always gave me the change out of his pocket when he came to visit, and my granny always gave me a peppermint from the bottom of her purse in chuuuch to keep me quiet.

      • RavenJ October 16, 2013, 6:20 pm

        My granny would give me Lifesavers. 🙂

      • Kwan October 17, 2013, 4:52 pm

        My Gran-daddy got fancy on us one time with Werther’s Original.

    • Christie October 19, 2013, 9:53 am

      Werthers Originals.

  • KieshaB October 16, 2013, 11:01 am

    “Leave the child alone …he has a difficult beauty.” – MT

    I love this person. I want to marry them.

    • emti October 16, 2013, 11:45 am

      Ring first please;-)

      • Trina October 16, 2013, 12:20 pm

        “Difficult Beauty” is my new favorite adjective of all time.

        Thank you for making me whole, Emti.

  • MsZ October 16, 2013, 11:13 am

    I imagine him singing “What a Wonderful World”….This cracks me up in my head!

    • Nita October 16, 2013, 11:24 am

      Or A Change is Gonna Come!!

    • Renners October 16, 2013, 12:11 pm

      or…”it ain’t easy being green”

  • jenny October 16, 2013, 11:29 am

    Could you PUH LEEZ put some share this post links on your blog?! HI LAR EE OUS! too much work to copy & paste link! ha

  • jenny October 16, 2013, 11:31 am

    OMG DERRR! saw them after i posted….i am usually on my iphone and i don’t think the share this buttons show up….

  • Mz. Niecy October 16, 2013, 11:33 am

    Baby looking like “I told them that I don’t want to watch no damn Sesame Street, put the tv on the news and let me be!”

    • Renners October 16, 2013, 12:16 pm

      omfg! my dad doesn’t know the tv lineup in our area when he comes to visit. just put it on the news. how the F*ck you gon watch the depressing ass news all damn day. i am dying!!!

      • Mz. Niecy October 17, 2013, 9:55 am

        I can’t watch that shit there is nothing good there at all, all kinds of shit to scare you into a hole for the next 20 yrs

  • MC October 16, 2013, 12:08 pm

    ‘This ole Color Purple looking baby. “Why you calls huh Olivia ifn that ain’t huh name?” “Well I calls Ole Livia cause she got some old eyes.” – FSM

    This comment has given me life!! I will be fired for reading blogs and hollering on this here day!

  • Blake Von D October 16, 2013, 12:21 pm

    “He’s PISSED that he miscalculated his retirement date and found out he has to work 2 more years.” – MW

    THIS!!!!!!!!!! I hate alla y’all!!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!

  • Jgalyn October 16, 2013, 12:22 pm

    I think this is fine baby picture of Morgan Freeman.

    • kwan October 16, 2013, 1:49 pm

      HAHAAAAAA *presses life alert button* Listen I remember saying I bet no one would never find a baby picture of Morgan Freeman, my friend said “That’s because he was born old”. Him and Cicely.

  • Lisa S October 16, 2013, 1:06 pm

    This baby looks like he’s got bills…mortgage, student loans, car payments and owes dues in the church!

    • Shakira November 18, 2013, 6:15 pm

      This. This comment right here. I’m about to cough up a lung laughin so damn hard!

  • Lisa M. October 16, 2013, 1:56 pm

    “He’s not here for any of us. He has to go down the VA, pick his clothes up from the dry cleaners and get it done before his Deacon Board meeting.” – CT <<<<<<<<<<< THISSSSS.. Im dead with the guy in the elevator!!!!!

  • LuckBALady October 16, 2013, 1:59 pm

    Not “Young Aloysius” #doe

  • Erica October 16, 2013, 2:57 pm

    the first time i saw this pic years ago, i thought, “wow…so THIS is James Earl Jones’ baby picture!” But yeah, this is definitely the light skin version of Benjamin Button lol

  • RozB October 16, 2013, 3:37 pm

    That baby looks like him and James Baldwin sat around talking about literature and reminiscing about the Harlem Renaissance.

    • Petranilla October 16, 2013, 11:20 pm

      Yesss Lord he did. He probably taught Paul Robeson to sing “Old Man River”

  • Jma October 16, 2013, 4:25 pm

    Where is this child now?, we need to start a scholarship for oracle baby. He has already worked out a simple explanation of Higgs boson

    • Nptexas October 16, 2013, 11:49 pm

      He knows Stephen Hawkins already

  • I've October 16, 2013, 4:43 pm

    Luvvie….it was a very stressful day….but after reading this post and finding myself cracking up I just had to say “Thank you” thank you for what you do…..you made my evening…..many blessings to you.

  • M October 16, 2013, 6:23 pm

    Adds “difficult beauty” to vocabulary list. 🙂 #welcomebackluvvie

  • Margaret October 16, 2013, 8:44 pm

    This baby was born to be someone’s Drunkle.

    • Lady B October 16, 2013, 8:54 pm

      Now adding “Drunkle” to my list of most commonly used phrases!

      • Margaret October 16, 2013, 9:10 pm

        EVERYONE has a Drunkle. BTW, all credit for the term Drunkle goes to @vinabean.

        • Nptexas October 16, 2013, 11:46 pm

          I had a Draddy who sang Ole Man River..

  • Lady B October 16, 2013, 8:46 pm

    He said:
    “Whoo, is gon rain summin fierce and cause the crick to swell. Any tahm them rainstorms comin my ‘ritis starts to ack up. Y’all cut the tv off ‘fore that lightnin start”
    God Bless Jedidiah’s old heart!

  • DeLisa October 16, 2013, 8:51 pm

    SMACKS LIPS…Now they know they are wrong for this government shutdown mess! Now I got to be bothered with her all day….when she going back to work…damn!

  • LNicole October 16, 2013, 8:54 pm

    Gollum + Yoda + too many drinks + a drunken frolic + a hard labor = GoYo, the aftermath.

  • Kayla October 16, 2013, 8:59 pm

    So THIS is what Red Foxx and E.T.’s baby would look like…

    ::walks away whistling::

    • Elle April 3, 2014, 10:25 am

      This right here. Lawd Jesus1!!!

  • Marsha S. Haneiph October 16, 2013, 11:52 pm

    Lawd Luvvie, I feel like I’m getting an asthma attack from stifling laughter! This baby’s photo is the dream of meme makers everywhere. He’ll be the sullen king of Tumblr saying, “Heavy is the head that wears the crown.”

  • mordecai72 October 17, 2013, 9:02 am

    this baby look like it aint never gonna eat nothing but soft food. THat baby got dentures somewhere. Elderly baby came out the womb and didn’t cry but gave a heavy sigh. I bet 3 people already done ran to the sto’ for this baby.

    • Shakira November 18, 2013, 6:18 pm

      I quit you.

  • mordecai72 October 17, 2013, 9:11 am

    Lawd my friend just said this baby look like Thurston Howell the third, aint there aint even no first or second. So of course I said thats cuz its his third time round. Probably lived to 99 the first 2 times cuz his face look like _Damn, almost made it to 100 and now I gotta start all over again._

    • ZaidahNicole October 30, 2013, 5:22 pm

      I quit.

  • mordecai72 October 17, 2013, 9:12 am

    this baby’s cries sound raspy

    • Elita October 18, 2013, 7:53 am

      NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

    • NeNe October 18, 2013, 8:49 am

      cant.breathe.

  • KPneedsanap October 17, 2013, 11:31 am

    I thought we were all supposed to be family. Clearly, none of y’all care if I keep my job. I’m not supposed cackle in here…or go SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIT when I read “difficult beauty.” I’m about to fire my damn self.

    • jgalyn October 17, 2013, 5:21 pm

      He looks like his first word was, “SHEEEEEEEEEEIT.”

  • Titi October 17, 2013, 11:40 am

    Po’ baby… still waiting on that dialysis, I see…

  • Tony October 17, 2013, 3:30 pm

    Back in my day, us babies could crap wherever we damn well wanted, and people just accepted that. *Sigh* Oh how times have changed.

  • Dia October 17, 2013, 3:33 pm
    • Luvvie October 17, 2013, 3:37 pm

      I. AM. CRYING! I mean laughing so hard that I’m shaking silently as tears pour from my face. THAT LINK! THAT BABY! THE CAPTION!!!

    • Kwan October 17, 2013, 4:58 pm

      Hahahaaaaaaa lawd ex wife at that

    • ZaidahNicole October 30, 2013, 5:20 pm

      *gives up the ghost*

    • CiCi October 31, 2013, 2:23 pm

      NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO please NO MAS!!!! that’s Althea right there!!! I’m at my desk crying laughing. mmmmmmmmm chile’!!

  • rikyrah October 18, 2013, 8:14 am

    I laughed so hard that I got those laugh stomach cramps

  • Calvin October 18, 2013, 5:17 pm

    Butt-ugly bastard.

  • LadyO October 21, 2013, 6:59 pm

    This baby looks like he tried to buy a loosey cigarette from the corner and they told him we don’t sell loosies. The struggle is real man.

  • J Rigsby October 21, 2013, 7:06 pm

    I am not going to hell with ya’ll.

  • Adjpants October 23, 2013, 8:12 am

    LAWD… y’all ain’t shit and I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR IT. In this library cackling with tears running down my cheeks. They’re gonna suspend my membership for this…

  • CiCi October 31, 2013, 2:21 pm

    Baby Cleophious. Bless his heart. Soon as he came out the womb he had them AARP discounts.

  • Shakira November 18, 2013, 6:23 pm

    Everyone on this here thread. Every. Single. One-a-ya’s is goin to hell. And I’ll be right there with you and it will be a party.

  • march pisces January 17, 2014, 2:02 pm

    three months later and this baby still gives me life. lawd forgive me, but he breaks up a rough day with a good laugh….like wale he is all out of fiz-uks!

  • Chevonne22 March 26, 2014, 11:01 am

    He looks like he’s been runnin for Jesus for a long time…and he finally got tired.

  • Roxanne Tezeno April 2, 2014, 10:11 pm

    Why y’all looking at me ain’t no one got time for that

  • Christy Stover April 2, 2014, 10:23 pm

    Why did I decide to read this when everyone else is sleeping? *face down*pounding fists*CRYING*

  • Angie B. April 2, 2014, 11:25 pm

    This was the funniest thing I’ve read in a long ass time. Y’all went in on a baby!! Hilarious! lol
    By the way..I named him Carl.

  • Chanel René April 3, 2014, 2:44 am

    LMBO!! These comments got me soooo weak!! I bet one of his favorite songs is “Cooling Water” by the Williams Brothers (He may even be one of the group members lol) #Lordforgiveme

  • Nicole April 3, 2014, 5:36 am

    HEARTLESS… That’s the only word I can think of. This is my nephew who fought for his life. Almost died at birth, and u put him on your page and make a mockery of him. Hope u feel 100% better about ur own life.

  • Kawanis April 3, 2014, 7:33 am

    “Baby looks like he’s 20 minutes outta freedom with a story to tell.”
    …I laughed so hard at this comment, I ended up having to take ibuprofen because I got a headache. I kid you not. I don’t know if I am looking at a different picture, but that baby is ADORABLE to me.

  • Melanie April 3, 2014, 10:35 am

    This is the first time I’ve read of your blog, and it won’t be the last. I’ve gone through a whole box of tissues and probably should have worn Depends while reading this.

  • mimi April 5, 2014, 10:20 am

    He look like he cried real tears when President Obama got elected & stated “I never thought I’d see this day…”

  • Lincoln April 6, 2014, 11:36 pm

    Looks like he’s waiting for someone to come back from the store with his ‘Tussin. Can’t be takin all day. He needs some to drink, and grandma got s sore on her leg that won’t close up.

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