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Porsha’s Pain, Cops for Kenya and Kandi-Coated Hateration: RHOA Season 6, Episode 3 Recap

Oh Real Housewives of Atlanta (RHOA). I enjoy you so…

Kandi-Coated Hateration – Kandi is talking with her business partner, Don Juan, about how her mother doesn’t support her getting married to Todd because she’s basically afraid that the money train to her will stop. To Kandi’s surprise, Don Juan agrees and I’m shocked that the folks around this woman are being such self-centered jerkholes. Why does everyone think her getting married is gonna affect their own lives?? LET THE WOMAN BE HAPPY, YOU MONEY HUNGRY FOOLS! On another note, Kandi’s office looked like Barbie threw up in it. She gotta start using the services of stylists and interior designers, man.

Kandi no like RHOA gif

Nene the Maid – Since “The New Normal” was cancelled and “Glee” hadn’t started filming, Nene’s at home bored. Gregg is thrilled to have his usually-busy wife at home though so he asks her if she wants to clean. Nene basically tells him NAWL! OOP!

Packing for Porsha – Kordell, being the immature child that he is, sends Porsha all her stuff in a moving van instead of letting her come pack her stuff herself. She opens a box and finds that one of her wedding dresses has been destroyed in the process. Also in a box is one of their wedding albums, which Porsha defaces (with good reason) by scratching her ex’s face out of pics.

Porsha RHOA

Tomatoes Evicted – Kenya talmbout she ain’t get evicted but “my lease is up and I have til 5pm to leave.” Potatoes, POTAHTOES, Tomatoes evicted. Pack your dereon duffle, girl. And then she proceeds to twerk on random things in her house and I got mad at Bravo’s producers for not editing that part out. (-__-)

Aggravated Apollo – Phaedra plans a photoshoot for her growing family, dressing them all in white Burberry. Her hubby Apollo is mad about not being listened to or something and he basically becomes a whiny little nuisance and Iunno what spilled in his milk to turn it sour.

Riley’s Advice – Kandi meets her daughter, Riley on their basketball court and she brings up the fact that Mama Joyce ain’t here for Todd. Her daughter gives her the best advice yet, which is to just et married and then tell her mama to deal with her new husband. The fact that a 10-year-old is being more mature than both her mama AND her business partner is a shame. The other shame is that Riley’s weave with red tips felt a bit too grown for her.

Kandi Riley RHOA

AAWWW! Precious moment.

Cynthia’s Recovery – Cynthia just got her fibroids surgery and Peter brings her home. At first, he’s been all sensitive and attentive but that soon ends. Uncle Ben says he’s hoping that she’ll now be able to secks him, because in the past three months, he’s been all starved for coitus. Peter better become friends with lotion and his preferred palm and let Cynthia recover from fibroids surgery in peace. CAN HER WOMB HEAL FIRST?!? Ugh.

Porsha’s Pain – Kandi goes to see Porsha and sees all the boxes all over the house. She gets the latest update and the heartbroken one says “Divorces feel like a death in the family.” Woo woo woo, Porsha. Kandi asks her if Kordell ever hit her and she paused a bit too long. I’ONT TRUST THAT KNUCKLEHEAD SHE MARRIED! I hope he never touched her! They got the last cackles though, as they opened a Bedroom Kandi package that was in one of the boxes and found that one of the balls in it were missing. LEMME FIND OUT KORDELL STEWART IS USING THEM! HA!!!

Cops for Kenya – Kenya is still packing up stuff in her house that she ain’t get evicted from (mmhmm) when 3pm strikes and her landlord Conya Dillon shows up and tells her to GTFO. She says she still got til 5pm but landlady ain’t hearing it. She calls the cops and describes Kenya as “tall with weaves and contacts with implants.”

Kenya Moore RHOA

Perfect.

LMAO!!! All of the everlasting shade. Miss Moore finally leaves the property, having been humiliated but still delusional enough to think she somehow won. Girl… bye!

Oh Kenya. Keep being extra for no reason for our entertainment.

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19 Comments

  1. toun
    November 19, 2013 at 9:20 am

    I was surprised at how her glutes were so musically gifted as she twerked on the piano. And her feet were still ashy, she better get some Aveeno

  2. Kourtney
    November 19, 2013 at 9:21 am

    “Peter better become friends with lotion and his preferred palm and let Cynthia recover from fibroids surgery in peace.”

    WELP!!!!! I was also mad that Peter couldn’t just CHILL and let the woman recover. He was so close to being a cool dude and he messed it all up.

  3. cocoberrie
    November 19, 2013 at 9:27 am

    I never liked Poppa Smurf from day one and still don’t. Your wife just had surgery and all you can think about is your hot crotch? Guy, please.

  4. Shar
    November 19, 2013 at 9:35 am

    They treat her like she’s a pay master… Smh. I too thought her daughter’s hair was a bit much for her age. Then again I’m never a fan of children with weave! My mom did beads and braids or pressed my hair with the hot comb in the kitchen and sent me on my merry way.

    Kenya is crazy IN REAL LIFE. Lol. How can she not be?! She’s so annoying.

    Peter is a fool. Poor Cynthia. I think she’s my favorite. Always so regal.

    Am I the only one that finds the whole Phaedra and Apollo dynamic to be uncomfortable?! I feel like they are that couple that gives everyone pause b/c they hash out their business at the most inconvenient times.

    Lol!!! Conya pulled the curtains allll the way down with that description.

    Porsha… *sigh* she’ll be better because of this. Hopefully. That ex husband of hers is a real Mitch. Smh.

  5. milaxx
    November 19, 2013 at 9:38 am

    Peter is like my mom in the no sympathy department. She came over and asked why the place is a mess & I’m like, “cause I’m sick or don’t you remember taking me to the doctor yesterday?” They don’t knwo what to say or do so they pretty much pretend like all is normal. I agree, he needs to find an back issue of Playboy and chill.

    I don’t know what Kenya did to herself during the off season, but she looks awful. Her face is extra full like she got cheek implants, her but looks like she went back to Home Depot for the the extra large booty pack. Top all that with the ATL tendency of wearing night time makeup in the daytime with her drag queen lashes and girl friend is looking clownish.

    I feel bad for Porscha, but it’s getting uncomfortable seeing this ongoing war of the roses.

  6. Jabari
    November 19, 2013 at 9:39 am

    Tip of the day: neva trust a ninja named Don Juan!!!!! It’s right up there with a “A Pimp Named Slickback”

    • bmichelle
      November 19, 2013 at 10:09 am

      i just flatlined for real!!!

    • Dee
      November 19, 2013 at 2:52 pm

      LMAO!! Not slickback lol but this makes so much sense though lol

      • November 20, 2013 at 12:39 am

        NO! *slaps* it’s A Pimp Named Slickback!…you know, like A Tribe Called Quest! lol loved that ep of The Boondocks!

    • November 19, 2013 at 4:06 pm

      PASSED OUT at this comment!

  7. RavenJ
    November 19, 2013 at 10:15 am

    Hmmm…either Kandi is surrounded by people who only look out for themselves OR maybe her dude really is foul. I’m not convinced that Riley really likes Todd. Ms. Joyce probably did exaggerate a little, but something is still a little off.

  8. Serenity
    November 19, 2013 at 10:57 am

    I feel sorry for all of them….

    Poor Kandi… It’s bad when your own mama treats you like a meal ticket

    Poor Cynthia… It’s bad when you man is more concerned about his dick than your ladyparts

    Poor NeNe… Why can’t she get a maid?

    Poor Porsha… there is no way Kordell will ever look good to a certain demographic

    Poor Phaedra… something in her marriage doesn’t smell right. And what EXACTLY does Apollo do for a living? she has 3 jobs, 2 babies and school and he has…..?

  9. November 19, 2013 at 12:05 pm

    Kenya’s time is up on RHOA. Her storyline is just annoying at this point.

  10. November 19, 2013 at 1:47 pm

    I was mad Peter couldn’t chill but even more perplexed that Cynthia thinks secks once a week is enough. Ummmmm…yea

    • dynamite
      November 19, 2013 at 3:51 pm

      It is when you have nothing to look forward to, smh!

  11. Rae
    November 19, 2013 at 4:32 pm

    Khandi needs to keep her business between herself and Todd. If she is influenced by others regarding her fiance, she isn’t ready to be married.

    Porsha is milking her situation for all she’s worth. The rumors about Kordell aren’t new. She and her mama heard them before she got married, so stop trying to throw shade. Who cares who packs what? If he damages her shit, she can recover during divorce proceedings. They should all grow the hell up. It’s over! Move on!

  12. BrandNew
    November 19, 2013 at 6:58 pm

    I watched but overall the episode was boring. They could have edited Nene’s and Kenya’s parts out because they gave me nothing. Phaedra and Apollo seem like they have some serious issues going on. I can’t wait to see what happens with them on the next episode.

  13. November 20, 2013 at 3:50 am

    Kenya makes me feel like I have PMS when mother nature says I don’t. She’s one damn goon.

    Mama Joyce should have schooled Kandi long ago about getting with locals with all those kids. What’s this thing with Kandi and does with a team of baby mamas. I’m not here for her selections.

    I’ll lay off of Riley bc she’s a baby.

    Peter needs to get a clue and he’d pair better with Kenya because he too is a goon.

  14. lamh36
    November 20, 2013 at 6:59 pm

    I admit to not being a consistent watcher of RHOA, but the few times I’ve seen it seems to me that Phaedra uses Apollo’s less “accomplished” life and her being the more accomplished to basically degrade Apollo in non-overt ways.

    Having said all that I also wonder what the hell is Apollo’s job. Also, maybe I missed something, but seems to me that the whole “text” thing between Apollo and Kendra, was pushed all on Kendra, but doesn’t it take 2 to tango? It sure doesn’t seem to me that Apollo made it clear to Kendra that he was uncomfortble with her texting. Also too, how exactly would Kendra get Apollo’s number unless he GAVE it to her?