Twitter is the den of iniquity, where the English language, sound logic and good grammar goes to jump off a cliff. My Dumbest Tweets tumblr chronicles the foolishness that happens in 140 characters daily, but the year end list is a necessary undertaking. For three years, I’ve been doing this list (you can check out past years’ lists of Dumbest Tweets). And there is never a shortage of stuff to pick from. Still, I do it. For the people.
Typically, I split this 50 dumbest tweets list into 2 posts. I decided to just make it one ginormous one this year.
So here are the 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2013 (in no particular order):
You know what? I cannot and I will not.
2. RT @Tayy_daniellie: A huge bowel of cookies&&Cream #ICE #CREAM sounds HEAVENLY right now *wipes drool*
I don’t think I want any of that. O_o
I want someone to push him off the flat Earth. What are people LEARNING in school?!?
4. RT @mike_landon95: Your fuckin up my fung schway
RT @dee_cuban: im into all that tranquility, funk-shway, enlightenment, meditation ish.
BOTH of these fools just messed up MY feng shui!
I don’t know what this has to do with the price of tea in China but Chey B logic is the worst kind.
6. RT @tsloww: death is invegetable!!!
And life is in meat. (-__0) I believe the word he was looking for is “inevitable.” Bless his heart.
Nah. He was in an apostrophe. He was high.
8. RT @AnaCarolina_NYC: Isn’t the magna carta the ship Christopher Columbus came to America on?
Yes. That’s exactly it. NAWL! Have a seat and do not pass go and do not collect $200.
Except that’s Morgan Freeman. You know what??? GOOD GAHTDAMB DAY! Just Good day!
Unless she’s talmbout Martin Lawrence or Malcolm Jamal Warner, then NAWL! I rebuke this and her!
11. RT @mightymidget7: I got the swag of a small shivery Chiwawa
I’m still not sure what “shivery” is but “Chiwawa” though? Nope.
12. Read the tweets from bottom up:
He just won the Struggle Olympics. This level of FAIL is so epic that the word “fail” just quit and went on vacation.
13. RT @90×10: @S_C_ Blue Ivy is ugly and looks like he has down cendrum. You can’t rap.
The best part is when the people who are tweeting hateful stuff are degenerates themselves. #DownCendrum. Oh.
Yes. Because Rosetta Stone sat on that bus and taught us all languages for freedom and so gay folks couldn’t get married. O_________O
15. RT @ChoColateDripz: ANOTHER TERRACE ATTACK!!! When will it STOP???!!!! The Devil stay busy
Balcony attacks are even worse! Hide ya blinds, hide ya curtains. -____-
16. RT @BLK_BERRI_: I dislike Hippocrates!!! Don’t pretend to be something your not, then enforce your falseness onto someone else!
Hippocrates must be Socrates’ shady cousin.
Not Mozzarella but Mottsareala. And let’s not even talk about that struggle cheese chilling on the pizza like a post-it note.
18. RT @DCJport: That as rude but I rose above miyah anjalou
Who is Miyah Anjahlou? She must wrote the book “I know why the caged bird tweets terribly.”
19. RT @BadBaeBae: America is so fucking accommodating to immagrants. Why TF don’t anybody in this bitch need to learn English? Geesh
Oh the irony…
20. Posted on 4th of July:
HAPPY 2013th BIRTHDAY AMERICA!!! O________O
21. RT @YellowBoy_Walls: Boi the Eggnogacion live as fuck boi!
RT @ravie_rave: #MLK #OBAMA #ANOGARATION !!!!!!!
Because “Inauguration” is just REALLY hard to spell. O________O
22. RT @Air_rih_kuh: Bitches steady screaming #TeamLightSkin while Im over here like y’all albino bitches get some melon in y’all skin!
Fitting watermelon under skin sounds painful. Or is it cantaloupe she’s suggesting? SURELY her goofy self isn’t saying MELANIN! O_____O
No offense but you’re an idiot. Sit down.
You ALL fail and I blame Kanye. Shoutout to @SteenFox for capturing this foolishness.
25. RT @WhoIsYeezy: new clear weapons are not a joke ppl take North Korea seriously
What about the old opaque weapons? NUCLEAR!
But… no. That was Japan, ma’am. Do they just pass ANYONE through history class or what?
Why must I weep for humanity?!?
28. RT @samanthaadaawn: I’m not racist but if you aren’t pure blood American, you shouldn’t be allowed to be here.
Seeing as how your name is “Samantha Dawn” you should probably pack up your muggle suitcase and go because you ain’t pure blood nothing but foreigner.
29. RT @Q_rampage_jack: ima pledge omega sci fi Qdogs ferternity
Omega Sci Fi Ferternity’s colors must be moon silver and space blue. O____O This young sir meant Omega Psi Phi Fraternity. Bless him.
#Orderbs. Girl you better say “snacks” if you can’t spell hors d’oeuvres!
31. RT @SheLoves_Gucci: TLC movie comes on tonight. RIP Aaliyah. Hope they play her part right.
But Aaliyah wasn’t in… Chile BYE!
32. RT @infraredsix: KANYE SOUNDS LIKE HE’S ANSWERING A MISS AMERICA PAJINT QUESTIONAIRE
PAJINT. Ok, sir. Just wrong in all caps. (-_-)
His nether regions are probably looking like a petri dish of funk and musk. DO. NOT. WANT. Also: anabodiodics?!? Just EFF that red squiggly line, huh??
34. RT @daniellefazza: Don’t wanna sound dumb but this is why i didn’t take geography. where is Boston??
You should be sentenced to geography detention.
35. RT @tinykissable: Bitches with bachelor or Degrees always try to sound more motivated
Bachelor OR degrees. Maybe she shouldn’t hate on those with degrees since it seems there’s an English class waiting for her somewhere.
Hollow cost. You get an annual lesson about it and you still can’t spell HOLOCAUST. Girl, go sit down.
RT @HoeFOH: Why niggas acting like the world is just fucking up? What about slavery? The holla course? Pick up a book.
HOLLA COURSE! I’m picturing a class where they teach you pick up lines. I need him to slap himself with a book.
37. RT @xaby_xo: Adele has an Oscar. all she needs is an Academy Award now.
And next, she needs to win a Tony AND an award for being on Broadway. O___O
He thought a “triple entendre” was about Andre 3000. LOL! #TripleAuntAndre. I am unable.
39. RT @_KayBeeMe_: Is Canada a state????
Yes. It’s a state in the country of North America. (-___-)
Philly Menyong. *faints* The butchering of “filet mignon” is an annual tradition on this list. “Flaming Young” is still my fave but this is a close second.
41. RT @FilthyBrotherz: #ConfessMyOpinion i don’t think (WEIRDO’s) should be allowed to have internet axis! to be allowed on twitter, u should first pass an I.Q. test.
I AGREE! So HE wouldn’t be allowed to tweet then either. Internet axis must be where the computers go to rotate.
AND WHAT CONTINENT IS EGYPT IN!?!? *lays my burdens down*
43. RT @FortyFif: Bout to get some new card again sweaters for when it get cold
Card again sweaters. Because carding them the first time is never enough.
Math is just really hard. Especially for those who call themselves CEO.
45. RT @DamarioBrown: So is HIV A STD ? or Disease???
Best movie review EVER! Especially since it got the name of the film wrong and seems to have quit midway. Two thumbs diagonal!
47. RT @Dellry83: I helped him clean up his credit, use my car & fucked now he wanna be planktonic friends? I’m 2 hurt
Who lives in the bubble of butthurt and expectations? PLANKTONIC FRIENDS! O_o Platonic, ma’am.
Time heals wombs, uteruses and possibly even WOUNDS! Another capture by @SteenFox.
49. RT @KidSoTrippy: Kim kardashian is pregnant with kanye west’s baby????? wat wat wat wat my brain cannot procrastinate this.
My brain can’t wait to figure it out either. Maybe later. O________o
And last but CERTAINLY not least is the person whose fingers typed a tweet check her mouth couldn’t check.
She earned that SWIFT firing that came from this tweet. EPIC fail! She’ll be used in presentations an classes everywhere as an example of what NOT to tweet.
Whooooo! So yes. I hope you didn’t bruise your forehead from facepalming as you went through this list.
Many people on Twitter need to be sent to the Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good And Who Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good. DZCFKWCRGAWLTDOSG is here to help us all.
Past Dumbest Tweets Lists
Which is your favorite out of these FAILS? Do you follow or know someone who ended up on this list?
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