The 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2013

Twitter is the den of iniquity, where the English language, sound logic and good grammar goes to jump off a cliff. My Dumbest Tweets tumblr chronicles the foolishness that happens in 140 characters daily, but the year end list is a necessary undertaking. For three years, I’ve been doing this list (you can check out past years’ lists of Dumbest Tweets). And there is never a shortage of stuff to pick from. Still, I do it. For the people.

Typically, I split this 50 dumbest tweets list into 2 posts. I decided to just make it one ginormous one this year.

Dumbest-Tweets-2013

So here are the 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2013 (in no particular order):

1. 

twins

You know what? I cannot and I will not.

2. RT @Tayy_daniellie: A huge bowel of cookies&&Cream #ICE #CREAM sounds HEAVENLY right now *wipes drool*

I don’t think I want any of that. O_o

3. 

Earth Flat

I want someone to push him off the flat Earth. What are people LEARNING in school?!?

4. RT @mike_landon95: Your fuckin up my fung schway

RT @dee_cuban: im into all that tranquility, funk-shway, enlightenment, meditation ish.

BOTH of these fools just messed up MY feng shui!

5. 

DumbassCheyB

I don’t know what this has to do with the price of tea in China but Chey B logic is the worst kind.

6. RT @tsloww: death is invegetable!!!

And life is in meat. (-__0) I believe the word he was looking for is “inevitable.” Bless his heart.

7. 

Comma

Nah. He was in an apostrophe. He was high.

8. RT @AnaCarolina_NYC: Isn’t the magna carta the ship Christopher Columbus came to America on?

Yes. That’s exactly it. NAWL! Have a seat and do not pass go and do not collect $200.

9. 

Morgan Freeman Mandela

Except that’s Morgan Freeman. You know what??? GOOD GAHTDAMB DAY! Just Good day!

10. martin malcolm kanye jayz 2

Unless she’s talmbout Martin Lawrence or Malcolm Jamal Warner, then NAWL! I rebuke this and her!

11. RT @mightymidget7: I got the swag of a small shivery Chiwawa

I’m still not sure what “shivery” is but “Chiwawa” though? Nope.

12. Read the tweets from bottom up:

Hawaii FAILHe just won the Struggle Olympics. This level of FAIL is so epic that the word “fail” just quit and went on vacation.

13. RT @90×10: @S_C_ Blue Ivy is ugly and looks like he has down cendrum. You can’t rap.

The best part is when the people who are tweeting hateful stuff are degenerates themselves. #DownCendrum. Oh.

14. 

RosettaStone 2

Yes. Because Rosetta Stone sat on that bus and taught us all languages for freedom and so gay folks couldn’t get married. O_________O

15. RT @ChoColateDripz: ANOTHER TERRACE ATTACK!!! When will it STOP???!!!! The Devil stay busy

Balcony attacks are even worse! Hide ya blinds, hide ya curtains. -____-

16. RT @BLK_BERRI_: I dislike Hippocrates!!! Don’t pretend to be something your not, then enforce your falseness onto someone else!

Hippocrates must be Socrates’ shady cousin.

17.

MottsarealaCheese

Not Mozzarella but Mottsareala. And let’s not even talk about that struggle cheese chilling on the pizza like a post-it note.

18. RT @DCJport: That as rude but I rose above miyah anjalou

Who is Miyah Anjahlou? She must wrote the book “I know why the caged bird tweets terribly.”

19. RT @BadBaeBae: America is so fucking accommodating to immagrants. Why TF don’t anybody in this bitch need to learn English? Geesh

Oh the irony…

20. Posted on 4th of July:

2013thAmerica

HAPPY 2013th BIRTHDAY AMERICA!!! O________O

21. RT @YellowBoy_Walls: Boi the Eggnogacion live as fuck boi!

RT @ravie_rave: #MLK #OBAMA #ANOGARATION !!!!!!!

Anoguraceion

Because “Inauguration” is just REALLY hard to spell. O________O

22. RT @Air_rih_kuh: Bitches steady screaming #TeamLightSkin while Im over here like y’all albino bitches get some melon in y’all skin!

Fitting watermelon under skin sounds painful. Or is it cantaloupe she’s suggesting? SURELY her goofy self isn’t saying MELANIN! O_____O

23. Not Racist

No offense but you’re an idiot. Sit down.

24. 

StrangeFruit

You ALL fail and I blame Kanye. Shoutout to @SteenFox for capturing this foolishness.

25. RT @WhoIsYeezy: new clear weapons are not a joke ppl take North Korea seriously

What about the old opaque weapons? NUCLEAR!

26. 

KoreaPearlHarbor

But… no. That was Japan, ma’am. Do they just pass ANYONE through history class or what?

27. 

beyonce album

Why must I weep for humanity?!?

28. RT @samanthaadaawn: I’m not racist but if you aren’t pure blood American, you shouldn’t be allowed to be here.

Seeing as how your name is “Samantha Dawn” you should probably pack up your muggle suitcase and go because you ain’t pure blood nothing but foreigner.

29. RT @Q_rampage_jack: ima pledge omega sci fi Qdogs ferternity

Omega Sci Fi Ferternity’s colors must be moon silver and space blue. O____O This young sir meant Omega Psi Phi Fraternity. Bless him.

30.

Orderbs

#Orderbs. Girl you better say “snacks” if you can’t spell hors d’oeuvres!

31. RT @SheLoves_Gucci: TLC movie comes on tonight. RIP Aaliyah. Hope they play her part right. 

But Aaliyah wasn’t in… Chile BYE!

32. RT @infraredsix: KANYE SOUNDS LIKE HE’S ANSWERING A MISS AMERICA PAJINT QUESTIONAIRE

PAJINT. Ok, sir. Just wrong in all caps. (-_-)

33. 

anabodiodics

His nether regions are probably looking like a petri dish of funk and musk. DO. NOT. WANT. Also: anabodiodics?!? Just EFF that red squiggly line, huh??

34. RT @daniellefazza: Don’t wanna sound dumb but this is why i didn’t take geography. where is Boston??

You should be sentenced to geography detention.

35. RT @tinykissable: Bitches with bachelor or Degrees always try to sound more motivated

Bachelor OR degrees. Maybe she shouldn’t hate on those with degrees since it seems there’s an English class waiting for her somewhere.

36. 

hollow cost

Hollow cost. You get an annual lesson about it and you still can’t spell HOLOCAUST. Girl, go sit down.

RT @HoeFOH: Why niggas acting like the world is just fucking up? What about slavery? The holla course? Pick up a book.

HOLLA COURSE! I’m picturing a class where they teach you pick up lines. I need him to slap himself with a book.

37. RT @xaby_xo: Adele has an Oscar. all she needs is an Academy Award now.

And next, she needs to win a Tony AND an award for being on Broadway. O___O

38. 

Triple Aunt Andre

He thought a “triple entendre” was about Andre 3000. LOL! #TripleAuntAndre. I am unable.

39. RT @_KayBeeMe_: Is Canada a state????

Yes. It’s a state in the country of North America. (-___-)

40. 

PhillyMenyong

Philly Menyong. *faints* The butchering of “filet mignon” is an annual tradition on this list. “Flaming Young” is still my fave but this is a close second.

41. RT @FilthyBrotherz: #ConfessMyOpinion i don’t think (WEIRDO’s) should be allowed to have internet axis! to be allowed on twitter, u should first pass an I.Q. test.

I AGREE! So HE wouldn’t be allowed to tweet then either. Internet axis must be where the computers go to rotate.

42.

EgyptAfrica

AND WHAT CONTINENT IS EGYPT IN!?!? *lays my burdens down*

43. RT @FortyFif: Bout to get some new card again sweaters for when it get cold

Card again sweaters. Because carding them the first time is never enough.

44. 

math is hard

Math is just really hard. Especially for those who call themselves CEO.

45. RT @DamarioBrown: So is HIV A STD ? or Disease???

Yes.

46. DjegoChaining

Best movie review EVER! Especially since it got the name of the film wrong and seems to have quit midway. Two thumbs diagonal!

47. RT @Dellry83: I helped him clean up his credit, use my car & fucked now he wanna be planktonic friends? I’m 2 hurt

Who lives in the bubble of butthurt and expectations? PLANKTONIC FRIENDS! O_o Platonic, ma’am.

48.

Time Heals Wombs

Time heals wombs, uteruses and possibly even WOUNDS! Another capture by @SteenFox.

49. RT @KidSoTrippy: Kim kardashian is pregnant with kanye west’s baby????? wat wat wat wat my brain cannot procrastinate this.

My brain can’t wait to figure it out either. Maybe later. O________o

And last but CERTAINLY not least is the person whose fingers typed a tweet check her mouth couldn’t check.

50.

Justine SaccoShe earned that SWIFT firing that came from this tweet. EPIC fail! She’ll be used in presentations an classes everywhere as an example of what NOT to tweet.

Whooooo! So yes. I hope you didn’t bruise your forehead from facepalming as you went through this list.

Many people on Twitter need to be sent to the Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good And Who Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good. DZCFKWCRGAWLTDOSG is here to help us all.

Derek Zoolander Center

Props to @MissZindzi, who’s been running the Dumbest Tweets blog with me and she helped kick off the first ever list (25 Dumbest Tweets of 2010).

Check out the DumbestTweets.com for daily updates and the Facebook pageYou can also submit the dumb tweets you see there. 

Past Dumbest Tweets Lists

* 25 Dumbest Tweets of 2010
* 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2011: Part 1
* 50 Dumbest Tweets of 2011: Part 2
* 20 Dumbest Celebrity Tweets of 2011

Which is your favorite out of these FAILS? Do you follow or know someone who ended up on this list?

Please share this year’s FAIL with the masses by TWEETING this post with one click!

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Taj December 26, 2013, 1:05 am

    How will we survive 2014 with this many random idiots running around? Sweet mercy!

  • Tina December 26, 2013, 1:09 am

    I think I may have burned off all that food I ate today laughing at these entries. Oh my God! There are no words.

  • I Am Your People December 26, 2013, 1:12 am

    The struggle cheese on #17 is low key genius though…

    • LadyLis December 26, 2013, 9:09 am

      I couldn’t stop laughing at that. I’m still laughing. LOL

    • TheRYL1 December 26, 2013, 2:26 pm

      Yeah, the struggle cheese looking like a post it note…that did it for me! LOL

    • Andi Price December 31, 2013, 6:14 am

      At the risk of exposing my own ignorance, please explain. What is struggle cheese? Clearly, I’m missing something.
      Thank you.

      These are hysterical but my best laugh came from her response to #12.

      • Calvin December 31, 2013, 6:05 pm

        Struggle cheese: The slice of cheddar is being asked to cover too much of the pizza. The idiot who typed the tweet also doesn’t know he / she should’ve broken the cheese into smaller pieces to cover the exposed tomato sauce. It’s struggling to make a difference on the pizza.

        • J. Lionel January 28, 2014, 4:07 pm

          Um… I don’t think that’s even Cheddar–it looks more like a slice of Individually Wrapped Pasturized Process Cheese Food (as it reads on the label).

      • Peppa October 6, 2014, 12:53 am

        Oh lawd, I almost peed myself from laughing.

        I’m thinking it’s welfare “we strugglin'” cheese.

        Could be strugglin’ because it’s pitiful.

        Meh. However it was meant, it made me laugh until my abs hurt.

  • Alisa December 26, 2013, 1:18 am

    Damn, damn, DAMN!!!!!

  • Dominique December 26, 2013, 1:32 am

    I love you boo. Wishing you many blessings in 2014!

  • Sandy248 December 26, 2013, 3:16 am

    I don’t really do Twitter and now I see I haven’t missed much.

  • pup December 26, 2013, 4:56 am

    Jesus God…I’m hurling myself of my couch. What are they doing to the King’s English?! I need a drink.

  • Pepsie December 26, 2013, 7:38 am

    I love it! Think it should be a monthly list. It’s just not the same without Tyrese though……*sigh*

  • Rosetta Hargett December 26, 2013, 7:57 am

    WOW!

  • candigirlindmv December 26, 2013, 8:42 am

    I CANNOT with Luvvie today.
    I’m so ashamed to laugh at this ignarinse (JUST KIDDING and yes, someone working on their dissertation sent that to me) but at the same time, I smfh at the thought that some of these people may be employees, working in my nursing home when I’m old.

    • Ms Understanding December 28, 2013, 11:22 am

      You just made me promise to kill myself if I ever need to be in a nursing home…

  • Erin December 26, 2013, 8:54 am

    15. RT @ChoColateDripz: ANOTHER TERRACE ATTACK!!! When will it STOP???!!!! The Devil stay busy

    Balcony attacks are even worse! Hide ya blinds, hide ya curtains. -____-

    16. RT @BLK_BERRI_: I dislike Hippocrates!!! Don’t pretend to be something your not, then enforce your falseness onto someone else!

    Hippocrates must be Socrates’ shady cousin.
    **********Yup, I died*********** LOL!!!! funny funny funny!!!!********

  • Takeyah December 26, 2013, 9:18 am

    #14, #23, + #30 though.

  • lnedykstra December 26, 2013, 9:26 am

    This is definitely what I needed the day after Christmas when I had to drag myself to work!!!!!!

    It just amazes me at how much ignorance is out there! The TripleAuntAndre and Philly Menyong are my favorites!

    Thanks for making my day!!!!!!!!!!!

  • KayMee December 26, 2013, 9:40 am

    “Mi heart weeps fi de youth dem.” As spoken by my family made up of “immagrants”.

  • Cm December 26, 2013, 9:49 am

    Please tell me you’ll do a celebrity tweets edition!

  • Shondalynn Price Donelson December 26, 2013, 11:07 am

    These comments and people are so stupid. I can’t believe the stupidity. I am so happy to not be a part of a Twitter world. Thanks for posting these it was interesting reading them all.

    Staying in school is so important.

  • Makeda77 December 26, 2013, 11:09 am

    This list is hilarious! 10, 14 and 23 are the WORST! LOL

  • Sunny December 26, 2013, 11:45 am

    OK…..I…..What the????……
    #47 had me thinking about SpongeBob.

    • Leo the Yardie Chick January 8, 2014, 5:20 pm

      I know right? Plankton finally got to hit.

  • Shakira December 26, 2013, 11:57 am

    Apparently EVERYONE on this list of tweets just said “fuck school. I’m gonna listen to rappers all day”, or something to that effect. Lawdamercy!

    • Ms Understanding December 28, 2013, 11:20 am

      Probably not, because a lot of rappers have college degrees…

  • Shannon December 26, 2013, 12:26 pm

    Number 7 had me doubled over! Also folks just ignoring the squiggly red line….LOL! They need to stop trying to sound the word out and just look it up!

    • Andi Price December 31, 2013, 6:17 am

      Please explain the ‘squiggly red line’ comment. I need help to understand some of this.

      • Leo the Yardie Chick January 8, 2014, 5:22 pm

        @Andi – When you misspell a word in Twitter, a red squiggly line shows up underneath as a warning so that you can correct it before you hit ‘Tweet’. Based on these brain-trusts, poor Squiggly can’t get their attention in time.

  • Lenore December 26, 2013, 12:46 pm

    Read tweet.
    Have trouble comprehending misspelled words and poor grammar.
    Finally GET it.
    Hang head is shame and disbelief.
    Laugh to keep from crying.

    REPEAT

    • TheRYL1 December 26, 2013, 2:29 pm

      Y E S! LoL

  • JazzT December 26, 2013, 12:47 pm

    Lawd help the churrin!

    Luvvie, I’m a little surprised you left off the gem that was Armani and #ArmaniCaptions.

  • Rebekah December 26, 2013, 12:52 pm

    I just…nope. can’t, not today

  • Yolanda December 26, 2013, 3:21 pm

    I need a nap after all that….excuse me.

  • Karen December 26, 2013, 3:32 pm

    Thank you so much for this incredible list. I’m still laughing!

  • Denise December 26, 2013, 5:26 pm

    These are funny….. they make me think of the “whole language” nonsense they were teaching my child in the nineties this is how I imagined the spelling would come out and I am right, these are probably by people in the 20-35 age range.
    The red lines under your words means they are not spelled correctly FIX IT….. not all auto correct problems!

  • Roz December 26, 2013, 7:46 pm

    OMG Luvvie, that was horrifying and hilarious. Thank you.

  • I Am Your People December 26, 2013, 11:30 pm

    But on #16 – I do have to shade you on that one, Luvvie. Hippocrates wasn’t Socrates’ shady cousin, he is the ancient Greek physician and namesake of the Hippocratic oath that new doctors take.

    Still unknown if he was a hypocrite

    • Chime December 27, 2013, 8:49 am

      She knows, she was just matching the foolishness of the tweet.

      • I Am Your People December 27, 2013, 12:18 pm

        #toomuchsarcasm #atthesamedamntime *chills in corner*

  • Midevil December 27, 2013, 6:03 am

    Internet would not be as much fun without all the dumb,ignorant or intolerant people out there..

    Still, I thank you for the translations Luvvie.
    You use google so that we don’t have to.

  • BonB December 27, 2013, 8:04 am

    I just read all of the “Dumbest Tweets” lists.
    Hilarious and sad all at the same time.
    Mostly sad though.

  • BrandNew December 27, 2013, 1:16 pm

    Listen… the picture of that pizza had me rolling! ROFL! #WeStillEatinTho lol I can’t deal!!!

  • jcanwisegrrl December 27, 2013, 3:09 pm

    *lies down* I cannot and I refuse. After I finished howling with laughter, I felt like crying for these poor, misguided folks. Lol and weep.

  • Silk! December 27, 2013, 6:18 pm

    Triple Aunt Andre.

    I had to say that one four times out loud.

  • Ms Understanding December 28, 2013, 11:18 am

    Hippocrates is actually the ‘father of western medicine’ … Doctors have to take a Hippocratic oath to practice ‘First do no harm’…

    Socrates was a philosopher…

    Are you in a glass house throwing stones? 😛 j/k

    • ASNYC December 28, 2013, 2:31 pm

      Luvvie knows that. As with the responses to the other tweets, she was upping the ante of ignorance.

  • Ms Understanding December 28, 2013, 11:34 am

    The cyber world revolves around the internet axis… LMFAO.
    This list killed me.
    I’m typing dead right now.
    #dead

  • ASNYC621 December 28, 2013, 5:00 pm

    The real gag is that Justine Sacco is, er, was in PR. The sad thing is that her dad’s a scumbag billionaire who makes money from the mines in South Africa, therefore she’ll never have to work or worry about money.

    The best thing about #HasJustineLandedYet was when Google got in on it and mapped her flight plan out on its search page.

    • Skyra January 28, 2014, 10:41 pm

      And google for the win!

    • Petranilla January 29, 2014, 12:20 am

      LISTEN!! When Google did that..chile…. I nearly died laughing!!

    • Christy Stover April 2, 2014, 12:26 pm

      It’s too bad Google didn’t give Justine a seat when she did land. So much ignorance in one body…just, no.

  • Wambuig December 29, 2013, 10:33 am

    LOL there should have been a disclaimer to not read the Dumbest tweets of 2013 at work! I keep LOL and I am getting funny looks. Happy 2014 and if your tweet made the Dumb list please do better…

  • Ant December 29, 2013, 12:16 pm

    Haha I just found this link on Webtrist.com

  • Christine December 30, 2013, 3:37 am

    These poor folks were cut to shreds! I just kept thinking about the red squiggly line that alerts one to a misspelling. Oh I laughed alright! I died laughing. But believe me,… I proof read this comment 5 times before posting. ROFL!

  • Londa December 30, 2013, 7:56 pm

    The following left me air fighting in laughter and gasping for breaths for a good, long while:

    15. RT @ChoColateDripz: ANOTHER TERRACE ATTACK!!! When will it STOP???!!!! The Devil stay busy

    Balcony attacks are even worse! Hide ya blinds, hide ya curtains. -____-

    #17 Ran out of Mottsareala cheese (I still can’t figure out why she thought it was cool to splice the pizza with a square of Velveeta and then POST it for all to see. I mean, if you gon’ do something ass-backwards, do it in private! Don’t share.)

    #25 new clear weapons. That one had me scratching my head for a minute thinking North Korea went all “X-men: The Last Stand” with the plastic “cure” rifles on me. Then I was like, “ooohhhhhhh. I get what this youngster is trying to say.”

    Luvvie’s subtlety with this one, though, was priceless…

    49. RT @KidSoTrippy: Kim kardashian is pregnant with kanye west’s baby????? wat wat wat wat my brain cannot procrastinate this.

    My brain can’t wait to figure it out either. Maybe later. O________o

    I hollered!

    THANK YOU, LUVVIE. You are my favorite blogger to read. I’m looking forward to 2014 with you. May God continue to bless you.

  • Alicia Daniel December 30, 2013, 9:46 pm

    Just Read these to my family, and my little brother made up this song.
    “You’re making a tweet, check it twice, you’re gonna find out if you spelled it right or you will be Hu-mi-li-a-ted.” All in the tune of santa claus is coming to town. He is only 8 years old.

    • Luvvie December 30, 2013, 9:51 pm

      Your brother is AWESOME because I surely sang it with those words!

  • Andi Price December 31, 2013, 6:23 am

    And these folks reproduce… and VOTE. Dear God. This explains so much.

    • Bird Dogg January 7, 2014, 9:25 pm

      They also serve on jury duty. That explains a lot

  • Wingedfeet December 31, 2013, 9:32 am

    I just want to thank you for the laugh – and tears that you caused me today..lol

  • zanele January 8, 2014, 4:15 am

    Is HIV a STD? or Disease??????

    yes

    that killed me, but your response was appropriate.

  • Jennifer "JBreeze" Alston January 8, 2014, 9:57 am

    I come and read this when I am having a stressful day. You have a great sense of humor. Thank you. You have no idea of the peoples lives it saved, because I read it in the midst of a temper tantrum. LOL.

  • Leo the Yardie Chick January 8, 2014, 5:13 pm

    Wow. These are the people who are going to be filing our Government paper work, teaching the next generation, and wiping our elderly asses at Shady Pines.

  • janeen January 24, 2014, 6:50 am

    these were the funniest ever. I’m sitting at my desk crying. I have to share these.Thanks for the laughs 🙂

  • J. Lionel January 28, 2014, 3:59 pm

    #13 — …AND referred to Blue Ivy as “he.” O____________________O

  • Ben January 28, 2014, 10:50 pm

    So… #10 I definitely assumed was talking about Martin Lawrence and Malcolm Jamal Warner… Didn’t even register who she was ACTUALLY talking about until I read the caption.. don’t judge me lol

  • Miss Lowe April 3, 2014, 1:10 am

    Bwahahaha! This is horrible and hilarious at the same time… Mostly horrible though.

    I am going to give these tweeters the benefit of the doubt and say that they are all very young children who have not been exposed to English classes, though I know that isn’t the case.

    Reading really is fundamental and a mind is [still and will always be… at any age…] a terrible thing to waste. [I started to put ‘waist’ for the sake of a pun but I couldn’t bring myself to look like the tweeters :(]

    Thanks for this!

  • talk soup June 24, 2014, 2:26 am

    So, I felt bad for number 9 I sent him a tweet with the screenshot.

    He retweeted it saying he was now famous.

    I then explained that the tweet was a source of humor because it was not a picture of Nelson Mandela

    He tweeted back that “it was my opinion”

    I tweeted back the picture again saying, “just in case others didnt catch that it was a picture of Morgan Freeman”

    followed by his tweet – and I am NOT kidding, go to my page and see it

    “why would anyone think nelson freeman was morgan Mandela? Ones an actor and ones the most iconic racial figure in history.moron”

    The final tweets are his friends facepalming

    we should be seeing more of him in the twitter fail pages.

  • mynigga831 August 14, 2014, 11:34 pm

    But really number 14…. I’m embarrassed to even share a country with you(the land), let alone a culture…god damn your scum.

  • Scotian Queen August 30, 2014, 9:43 pm

    “Is Canada a State” O____O icant
    I don’t want to live on this planet anymore

  • Ben September 12, 2014, 7:02 pm

    For #11 Definition of SHIVERY: easily broken into shivers

    http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/shivery

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