YOLO and OMG: Scandal Episode 309 Recap
The last episode of Scandal two weeks ago left off after Mama Pope emerged from the shadows to her daughter, who was shell-shocked at seeing the mother she thought has been dead for the past 22 years. I was a-scared tonight because I just knew there’d be no chill to be had in this episode, especially since it was part 1 of the winter finale, which ends next Thursday. All our fears had base. THIS EPISODE, DOE! Whoooooo! I just… let’s just get into it.
YOLO – Huck has Quinn nekkid, tied up and with duct tape over her mouth. He says he’s not gonna kill her since she’s family and he loves her buttttttttt he’s gonna go all dentist rogue and snatch out a couple of her teeth. She’s begging for mercy when the phone rings. It’s Liv, who says “She’s alive. My mother. She’s not dead. She’s here. She’s here in my apartment.” Aw shit. Huck tells her to remove her phone battery and head to the safe house. SAVED BY THE CALL, QUINN! Or so she thought. Huck decides that he has time to extract one tooth, talmbout “YOLO.” HAAAAAA!!!
Politics Before God – VP Sally is ready with her resignation letter but Leo says the only way she can go into the race and win is if she says she’s pro-choice. Langston the Bible Thumper says she can’t and he threatens to walk. He says “Politics over God” and she swallows her values and agrees. Leo is the newest goon on the scene and he’s gonna be troubo. I can feel it in my shondo, Shonda!
Pillow Talk – Cyrus is lying in bed as James writes on his computer and he’s all heartbroken at the fact that his boo got it in with Daniel Douglas. Meanwhile, James keeps dropping these double entendres about how him and the VP’s hubby have business to finish. Oop.
Tracking Pope – Flashback to Little Olivia eating cereal as Mama Pope gets ready to leave for a trip. Lil Liv is listening to Michael Jackson’s “Ben” when her mom pulls out the headphones and tells her “I love you, Olivia.” Present day Liv is sitting in the corner almost rocking #baggingfoaf at the safe house where the Gladiators are wondering what is happening. Abby is looking for answers and Mama Pope says she found out that Rowan was a goon and was gonna blow the whistle in London and them he caught her and locked her up for 22 years. She says she escaped him and Huck and Jake jump to action. They figure she has a tracking chip in her and they slice her back open.
Charlie and a B613 dude are holding a tablet and they show up to the safe house to find the tracking chip on the table (and no one there). The Gladiators BOUNCED right in time. Papa Pope is asking EVERYTHING to be shut down. He wants them to find that lady by all means!
On the Run – They are now on the run with Mama Pope and the Gladiators are now using burner phones. Avon Barksdale is somewhere like “I did it first.” The goal is to fly Maya to Hong Kong at the first chance they get. Liv asks about Quinn and Huck says she’s busy (mmhmmm). Our girl is tied up next to her own extracted tooth.
Abby and Harrison are in the OPA office and the place has been ransacked and ran through. Some lady shows up to get a folder from him and she refers to Harrison as “H” and is making these intense stares at him. WHO IS THIS HUSSY AND WHY IS SHE EYEING MY MAN?!? Anyway… she says “Adnan Salif says hello” and he’s back. AW CRAPPPP!!! Also to be mentioned: Abby made a reference to Harrison not having a mom. Brolivia Pope, perhaps.
Red Hot Mellie – Mellie’s in her fire engine red suit again, asking Cyrus what happened with the Daniel Douglas thing and he’s not giving her info. She says “It’s time to stop holding. Play the cards already.”
Pope Ladies Chat – Olivia returns with breakfast for her mama as Huck bandages her wrists. He leaves and Mama Pope wants to get to know her babygirl better. Maya’s hair is LAIDT! That fierce hair is genetic, because after 22 years in prison, I’d have NO edges. Anywho, Liv’s mom tells her that she imagined the type of life her daughter would have after all these years. A dentist husband named Ray, and a son named Sam but ”there just doesn’t seem to be a lot of laughter in your life.” Mamas be knowing, man. But she threw in a jab bout how she wished Liv would have “more of me in you than your father.”
Battle of Heros – Huck tells Jake that no matter where they fly Maya, she’ll always be in the reach of Command. True, but what if Rowan was dead? Jake proposes that they murk him but how do you do that to the Grand Goon? Well, he goes to see his frenemy the President. Jake tells President Ghost that Mama Pope is alive and when he proposes that they “terminate” Daddy Goon, Fitz says “nawl.” He can’t kill his Bae’s Pops. He already thought he killed her mama. State Farm Ballard goes in and tells his ex-bro that he ain’t have his back in Operation Remington and he clearly ain’t got it now. “There are only 2 people that matter in this world and that is Olivia and yourself.“ OOOOOHHH! Jake and Fitz and this battle over Olivia’s love… bless their hearts for tryna win her heart. Oh also: yes, Fitz is B613. “You want to be a hero. You want to be HER hero. But word to the wise, she doesn’t need one.”
Quinn is still tied up and she’s looking for a way to untie herself. She better use them skills Huck taught her.
James’ Game – James visits Cyrus at work to let him know him and Daniel are meeting that evening to finish what they started. He is LOVING this game he’s playing because for once, he has the upperhand. Rub it ALL the way in, Novak! He even says it’s too bad that Cy won’t be at home because their night coulda “been a threesome.” All the innuendo, James! When he exits Beene’s office, he runs into Mr. Douglass, who begs him not to embarrass him by including his “temptation” in the feature. “I am a man. I’m not gay.” Those two things aren’t mutually exclusive, Daniel “Trapped in the Closet” Douglas. He cites his stature as a man of faith (based on the passive aggressive warning he just received from his wife).
The Prophecy – Maya Pope tells Olivia that she knows that running won’t do much to save her because as long as Rowan is alive, she cannot be for long. But she doesn’t mind because she was able to lay eyes on her baby. This is like the prophecy in Harry Potter. “Neither can live while the other survives.” Who’s Voldemort and who’s Harry?
Blow Up Bros – Jake and Huck are tailing Command and they see him enter a building. When they walk in, they shoot into a small room and the room blows up, killing a dude but not THE dude they were looking for. WOMP! Charlie and Daddy Goon are in a car together and as the sugar assassin celebrates, Rowan says “If you think I enjoy killing, then you must not know me very well . Condone? At times. Accept as a necessary evil. But I get no enjoyment out of ending a life.” Oh word?? We’re slowly learning that he might not be the heartless goon we think he is. He tells him to find Quinn.
Huck vs. Baby Huck – Quinn is tryna use shattered glass to cut her duct tape off when Huck shows up. She’s BEGGING and he ain’t tryna hear it because her betraying Liv deserves punishment. Another tooth bites the dust.
No Fly – Harrison got Maya a passport and birth certificate and all, and Liv handles some business in Chinese (which she’s fluent in. Heyyy!). All is well EXCEPT Rowan has Maya on the no-fly list and her offense is listed as treason, with a fake name but her picture is right there. Abby goes to her Bae, David, to pull some strings.
Mistake and Crossing – VP Sally drops her resignation letter on Fitz’s desk before it goes public the next day and he does not take it well. He tells her that she’s making a huge mistake and he’s gonna “spend the rest of my life reminding you.” And she’s basically like “COME AT ME, BRO!” Welp.
Pimps Up, Beene Down – Cyrus runs home and is breathing all hard just to find James in bed writing. He thought he’d surely be getting the business from Daniel and he can’t hide his jealousy any longer. James claps back at him and says “I think next time, we should go over what type of rentboy I’m supposed to play… I cannot figure out why you’d pimp out your own husband… you used me like a cheap whore!… You have ruined us! You are a gay man who is going out of his way to shame another gay man for being in the closet.” The library is OPEN cuz James is READING! He says he wants a divorce and him and phantom baby Ella are leaving. And when Cy tells him that he has photo proof, he’s shocked. Which I don’t understand because why didn’t he figure that out???
Cyrus is summoned to the Oval Office, where Mellie and Fitz are waiting for him. President Ghost gets all in his face and yells at him to handle this VP Sally thing. He storms out, leaving Mellie to witness Cyrus Beene crumble into tears.
I’M NOT USED TO BEENE TEARS! I didn’t know how to feel about it. First Lady goes “It hurts until it doesn’t.” If no one else knows the feeling of love betrayal, she knows. Cyrus is having the worst day ever.
Hey Bae – David tells Abby he can’t remove “Marie Wallace” from the no-fly list because even inquiring about the name triggered all types of security. After learning this, Olivia excuses herself and sits outside. She rings up the only person who can make her feel better and she tells him she just needed to hear his voice. Fitz is on the other end ready to save Liv when all she needed was someone to vent too. Because sometimes, you just wanna talk to Bae.
He says that he will fix this, and it’s not a question. It’s a statement. When they hang up, President Ghost places a call to the Pentagon. OH SNAP!
No Steak But Beef – Charlie shows up to Quinn’s place and finds her tied up and bloody. He unties her and she wraps a towel around her and starts crying. Real goons don’t weep because a couple of teeth are missing. Him: “That’s against the rules. Suck it back in! So, you don’t eat steak anymore!” HA! Quinn, you were playing with the devil. What did you think was gonna happen? You needed to have a few teeth missing. She looks at Charlie, drops the towel and they start going AT IT. Because when you just finish getting tortured, you make the secks, according to #50ShadesofQuinn. O__O
Dear Aunt Sally – Cyrus rolls into VP Sally’s office and drops the pictures of Daniel and James on her desk. He tells her to revoke her resignation and gets surprised when she tells him that he TRIED IT! She’s basically tells him that she knows her husband is a hoe but Cy’s hubby is also in the pics so he ain’t gon leak them. There are no dambs left to give by the VP. A defeated Cyrus slinks out her office. When he gets back to his office, he calls his husband and asks for his forgiveness, saying no one will ever see the pics. LIES. James is sitting on their bed with packed luggage, not knowing what to do with himself.
Wonderland – Charlie and Quinn are headed into Wonderland, and he’s all “you’re the best girlfriend I’ve ever had.” DANG! Y’all go together already? Simps.
Ben – The Gladiators have chartered a private military jet to take Maya Lewis-Pope to Hong Kong, and they’re all at the private airport to see her off. When Mama Pope and Liv part ways without touching, Abby tells her “That is not a goodbye. You go and you hug her right now in case you never get to again.” Iunno when she became this reasonable but I like Abby. As she watches her mother walk to the plane, she calls her name and runs to her and they hug. HUG YOUR EVIL MAMA TIGHT, LIV! HUG HER!
“Ben” is playing as this is happening, and it heightens the emotions of the scene. E’em though it’s about a rat. Maya gets on the plane and Liv gets a flashback to the day her mother left 22 years before. Right after she left, the house phone rang and the person goes “I’m looking for Marie. Your mom. Is she there?” and Lil Liv says no, cuz her mama’s name is Maya.
As the plane leaves, Olivia calls Huck and asks what the name of the terrorist on the no-fly list was. The one Rowan used for Maya and he says “Marie Wallace.” She says “My father was trying to protect me this whole time. He didn’t want me to know what she did, who she is. He’s not the monster. She is.” OMGGGGGGGGGG!!! MAMA POPE WAS A RAT THIS WHOLE TAHM AND THAT’S WHY BEN HAS BEEN PLAYING! AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
Huck then says “we got a problem” and on his radar, a yellow circle is moving. Could it be a car is headed the direction of the private airport? He remembers that as he tortured Quinn, she know that every time she gave him some good info, she kept one more tooth. Well, her and Charlie are in front of Command and she says she has info for him, but she needs the tape of her killing the security guard before she can tell him. Her right hand is in her pocket, and it’s holding a syringe, similar to the one she used to kill that dude.
Meanwhile, Cyrus gets a phone call from VP Sally, who says “I have committed a sin.” There’s a stabbed body next to her desk and it looks like it’s her husband Daniel Douglas.
I CAN’T. I CANNOT. I WILL NOT. I SHALL NOT. I SHAN’T. NOPE. NOOOPPPPPEEE!!!
Sooooo Maya Lewis is really Marie Wallace and she’s a terrorist. This whole time, SHE’S BEEN the Grand goblin that Rowan was trying to neutralize. Her being behind bars for the past 22 years was probably best. BUT remember that on Scandal, NO ONE wears the white hat. Daddy Goon might not be the Grand Goblin but he is no hero either. Also: dang, Liv should have ALLLLLLL the trust issues in the entire world. She shouldn’t even trust her own shadow because look at the mess she came from. LOOK AT IT.
Ok so now about Quinn. What info does she have to give Daddy Pope? And more importantly, is she there because that’s how she stopped Huck from having her out here looking like Grandpa Simpson (just all toothless)? Did she agree to “terminate” him for Huck? I see the syringe she was holding and I highly doubt that she’ll succeed in killing Command. Her taking him out will be like how (IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE WIRE, SKIP TO THE NEXT PARAGRAPH HERE) Omar got killed by a little boy in a store. Survived assassins to get taken out by a mouse. I’d be outchea doing the Carlton crawl of it happens like that.
Who was the jezebel flirting with Harrison? Well, clearly it seems she used to work with him when he was working with Ahnan Salif? Also… I love how we keep getting these TINY bites of info about him. His story will be very important in the 2nd half of the season. I’m just ready for that!
But let’s talk about VP Sally. SHE KILLED HER HUSBAND?!? Those pics she saw of him and James really enraged her soul. Plus, she don lost her religion messing with Leo. For her to call Cy talmbout “I committed a sin” like she was at confessional, doe. YOU KILLED AN INNOCENT DUDE! On the sin scale, I’m pretty sure that’s a 20 on a scale of 1-10. But of all people, why did she call Cy? Also, James looked like he was about to be swayed to stay but when he finds out that Daniel is deader than Quinn’s ability to eat tough foods, he’ll know. Well, at this point, how many examples does James need to realize that he’s married to the worst person ever?
WHOOOOOO!!! In the preview of next week’s show, we see Rowan Pope tied to a chair being circled by President Ghost. Uh oh. Lemme find out Fitz is about to handle it for real. I just know that Next week’s #Scandal winter finale is going to SLAY US ALL. And we can’t do NOTHING bout it til February 27, 2014. Gladiators weep.
So whatcha’ll think Mama Pope is about to be about? GLADIATORS ROAR in the comments!
Check out CelebrateBlackTV.com for my top 10 moments from Scandal episode 309!