Snitching to Bae, Phaedra’s Party, Apollo’s Snapping: RHOA Season 6 Episode 13 Recap
Real Housewives of Atlanta (RHOA) turned real Basketball Wives this last episode but the men were the hoodrats. Chile… let’s just rush through what happened in the ep so we can get to the juicy part.
Party Planning – Dwight and Phaedra reunite to plan another over the top extravaganza. This time, it’s for the blessing for her son Dylan aka Mr. President. As always, neither of them know what “the most” is so they do it.
Snitching to Bae – Ms. Bailey reports back to Uncle Ben about the conversation that happened at the winery, saying Kandi called his past to the carpet. She neglects to mention how she was spreading Todd’s business around like nutella on crepe. Mmhmm. And then Kandi tells Todd that Natalie called him an opportunist. Why must they relay the petty convos they have with their messy friends to the men their friends are talking shit about? I’ll never understand.
Sperm Shopping – Kenya and Miss Lawrence go to the sperm bank after her doctor tells her that she’s gonna have difficulty conceiving since she’s over 40. At the sperm store (it’s not really a store), Kenya says she wants her sperm donor to have her features, including green eyes. COLORED CONTACTS AREN’T IN YOUR DNA! Bye, girl! She also jokingly asks for Michael Jordan or Obama sperm. Ma’am, those are literally above your pay grade. No.
Presidential Shade – At Mr. President’s Introduction/Blessing/Welcoming/Inauguration pordee, Dwight sees Kandi and goes “Is that an engagement ring?” Sir. You live in Atlanta. You know good and damb well she’s engaged so I’ma just take that as shade. Anywho, everyone is beckoned outside as a limo pulls up and some dude who wished he had James Earl Jones’ voice announces the “First Family.” Phaedra, Apollo and their two adorable sons step out, and it’s real cute. Then on the inside of the party, it’s clear that ‘Pollo ain’t too happy about any of it. He refused to do the fancy two-step with his wife, so Dwight had to do it. He also refused to give any remarks thanking their guests. Who stole his cookie? Did he have to work the job he ain’t have that day? Why was he so ornery? Ugh.
Jammy Jam – Nene organizes a pajama party with the girls and their boos (and Porsha and her sister). Christopher Williams and Natalie are invited, and so are Chuck and Mynique (the fact that it’s pronounced “Monique” will not stop grinding my gears). Folks show up in their silky gowns, robes and pajamas. Nene is in some sort of pink negligée that is… interesting and she’s clearly feeling herself.
Everyone is on time but Kenya, who just went off on the ladies a couple of eps ago for being late. They get started on the festivities without her and the game is basically everyone pulls a question and asks the group. The one Kandi had to ask the group is “would you be comfortable being in a room with your boo someone you’ve had sex with?” The camera pans to Chuck’s face and then her face and it was sufficiently awkward.
Another question is “would you date someone you knew was bisexual?” and Porsha says “He shouldn’t be bisexual or heterosexual. You need to be all about Porsha sexual if you’re with me.” Oh Miss Stewart… deeper than a Snapple cap as always.
Finally, Kenya bounces her ass in with her bestie Brandon, who is rocking a nice red silky pajama set. Miss Moore got on some bustier, because Fredericks’ of Hollywood musta had a sale. Nene then proceeds to read her for filth for being late and I loved it.
The questions resume and Peter is the asker, and it’s about if people care about their partners going to strip clubs. Or something. I got too lazy to rewind. He says he will go to a strip club and pay for his friends to get lap dances but he won’t. Kandi speaks up about his janky memory because he musta forgotten the time she saw him at the club getting a twerk from the stripper. OOP. Nene reminds everyone that she used to be a stripper so she knows what goes down and it’s a lot of tricks (and treats). Apollo says he used to go to the strip club every night when he first got out of jail, spending $5-8,000 a night there. OF WHOSE MONEY, TOMMY (from Martin)??? I don’t have time.
Nene stands up and brings up Kenya’s allegation that Christopher Williams said him and Natalie were just common law married. MESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! Lenethia was swimming in a bucket of it. Chris stands up and says “I don’t know what medication you’re on…” Messy Moore stands up, approaching Natalie, who is across the room so Chris pulls her arm and then Brandon stands up and pushes him back, telling him not to touch his bestie.
And then Peter gets up and in the middle of the two men and pushes Brandon back to his corner.
OUTTA NOWHERE COMES APOLLO, who pushes Brandon down and then chokes him and starts whopping him! And all Brandon had were his legs for defense because Peter was holding him down. RHOA security broke the fourth wall, hell broke loose and Apollo was being held back by like 3 people but he still kept getting hits in. OMG THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY!
“He’s beating Brandon like he’s in his jail cell fighting for his virginity.” – Kenya.
SHUT YO ASS UP, MESSY MOORE! Your bestie was getting pummeled tryna defend your janky honor. Every fight that happens has Kenya in the middle. EVERY single fight. Her aura must be the color of dirty hot dog water.
But I have SO many questions about that fight!
1. Why did Christopher Williams touch Kenya? I know he was tryna stop her from going towards Natalie but he shouldn’t have grabbed her arm like he did.
b. Why did Kenya go towards Natalie?
iii. Why did Apollo?
4a. Why was Peter holding Brandon down as he got his ass whooped?
5. Did they have to rip Brandon’s nice silky pajamas like that?
VI. Why, Apollo?
Seriously. How the hell did it go from Christopher vs. Brandon to Apollo swooping in like Hulk Hogan from nowhere? What did any of it have to do with him?? Many people think he had a prison flashback so he had to fight for his life. That dude needs anger management, therapy and a soothing blanket because he is so outta order. Phaedra married down cuz Apollo is more than rough around the edges. That is a grown child.
And now he’s been arrested again for bank fraud. Orange is indeed the new Black. I feel bad for Phaedra but her husband is a nuisance.
Ugh. I’m just mad I gotta wait two weeks to see the continuation. Kandi is gon threaten to drag someone and the editing makes it look like she’s talmbout Peter. Apparently, she’s really coming for Mal, Cynthia’s sister (I got that tea in October from someone). I’m ready. Maybe it’s because I’m still mad at Mal for showing up on someone’s doorstep unannounced talmbout she’s staying for two months. Just senseless and thoughtless.
So yeah. What did yall make of that fight? Can someone explain to me how Apollo got involved because that was super random.
P.S. The awesomest moment of the episode was Gregg’s entrance. LMAO!
Show pics from BravoTV.com