A Tale of Two Peens: The Man Who Has Twice the Fun
In case you don’t know, the real Den of Iniquity online is Reddit. And for once, I am thankful because it is through that site that we now know that it’s possible for a man to have two penises. MMHMM. In real life.
A guy with the screename of “DoubleDickDude” did a Reddit AMA (Ask me anything) session where he answered all types of questions about his duo sticks. I read the entire thread because it’s so important for me to know the logistics of this. Because science. And nosiness. And intrigue.
This condition he has is called Diphallia and it affects 1 in 5.5 million men in the U.S. It’s not genetic. It just happens. *sings* “Maybe he’s born with it. MAYBE IT’S DOUBLE PEEN!”
It’s like God asked himself the question of “Should I have given them two penises? Eh. Lemme test it out and see what it’d be like” and he copied and pasted it on this dude.
There’s a couple of pics too, including one that is a head shot (pause) that shows the peens just chilling. They look like they’re making the peace sign, because they’re in V formation. If you want to see the pic, click HERE. NOT. SAFE. FOR. WORK. I repeat NOT SAFE FOR WORK! Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
So yeah, I was intrigued to find out how the plumbing worked so that thread had me like:
* He pees from both of them at the same time. And this makes for interesting experiences when he’s out in public. He tries to use stalls instead of urinals, for obvious reasons.
* They’re the same size (6-7 inches). So it’s not like one of them is like a 6th finger nub. Nope. It’s another fully-developed nether region appendage! LUCKY HIM (and HERS. or SIRS).
* He uses both at the same time on his partners. Because apparently, folks really enjoy being doubly stuffed. I shiver at the thought and I basically had to cross my legs extra tight as I read this part. I might have even done some kegels to be safe because ummm… ouch? He also talked about how one of his past partners’ cervix poked out afterwards. And I wanted to pass out right then and there. NO MA’AM!
* He NEEDS to cum. If he doesn’t blow his rockets at least once every coupla days and squeeze his swimmers out, his prostate gets engorged and bloated. That sounds painful. He takes blue balls to new levels.
* His right one is his favorite. And sometimes, the left one gets jealous. HAAAA!
* He is in a relationship with a guy and a girl. He met a guy and a girl who were in a relationship and both identified as straight. And when the guy found out about his double peen, curiousity killed the straight and they all got into a relationship. Now they’re an exclusive threesome. DDD identifies as bisexual already but he’s outchea changing minds and sexual preference for straight dudes. He is magical and a sexual unicorn.
Everything about all of this is like the best pr0n ever written. His life is like every teenage boy’s fantasy. But he doesn’t do pr0n because the pay is crappy and he doesn’t wanna put a price on his dignity. Selfish bastid (I keed)!
Someone on the Reddit thread said:
“Just to summarize what we’ve learnt. He’s bisexual. He’s attractive. He’s lives in a threesome. He likes fisting others and being fisted. He likes putting things down his urethra. He casually mentions the time six people had sex with him simultaneously. He shoots 12 times when he cums. Straight men magically turn bicurious around him.
And on top of that, he has two penises. Well played, God. Good to know you didn’t waste that extra penis on a prude.”
Pretty damb murch. Life is stranger than fiction sometimes.
So ummm… what would y’all do if you encountered Sir Double Peen? Would you run for the hills, stick around and get turned up and out or just spend the night asking questions?
@Luvvie A Tale Of Two Dicks.
— Xavier D'Leau (@TheXDExperience) January 2, 2014