My LifeWhose is this?

Whose Reverend is this Threatening Me in the Name of Jesus?

It is that time of the year again: when people use Martin Luther King Jr.’s image inappropriately for club flyers. MLK ain’t march to be the image of “Freaky Fridays” at the local disco. STAHP IT EVERYONE! I already wrote about this last year but more flyers have emerged for this year’s foolish celebrations, so I posted one of them on the Awesomely Luvvie Facebook fan page yesterday. Here’s the post:

Notice that my caption was in no way approving it. Wells, like 5 older people or people who don’t know how to play internet hit me up to tell me I’m disrespectful for creating the picture or for posting it. One of them even said she was going to boycott my website. Chile… ok girl.

Then last night, I get a message that was the angriest of all. He’s really mad. Look:

Reverend Threat

I GUESS HE TOLD ME! If I do not remove the picture I did not create nor approve, the good reverenT is gonna curse my FB page in the name of our Lord. I REBUKE HIM AND REJECT IT.

I’m pretty sure Jesus is too busy to be sending curses to Facebook but in just in case, lemme say this prayer.

Dear father, I cover my fan page with the blood of Jesus and with sense and logic for protection against stupidity and idiocy! No illness shall befall my Facebook page in Jesus name! MAY ALL MY POSTS GET A BOOST IN NEWSFEEDS, OH LORD! May my fans be fruitful and multiply,

Father! I pray against Facebook enemies and those who don’t wish my page to prosper. Everything he wishes on my page has already been done to his page, Lord! Jesus, please grant me the serenity accept that there are foots I cannot change and to not feel the need to snatch the wigs of all those who act up on my page, the courage to let them have it when they deserve it and the wisdom to let them cook and know the difference.

Amen.

Good. That’s outta the way. So if you’re gonna declare some authority, at least make me take you serious by not typing like your keyboard malfunctions. Why can’t Mr. RW find one period or high comma (apostrophe) in his sanctuary? Outchea typing one long run-on sentence of rage and bad decisions. “u probably get sued for difamation.” DIFAMATION. I’ll look out for that suit, REVERENT! Thanks for the heads up!

Bless his heart. I am afraid for the congregation that this man leads. Beware of pastors and reverends who try to waste the Lord’s time with frivolous curses and threats. I’m so glad salvation is not dependent on folks’ ability to spell. Jesus be some grammar lessons for us all.

COME GET YOUR PASTOR! He needs to go occupy an entire pew of seats on harvest Sunday. Whose minister is this??

P.S. I clicked through to his FB profile and he really is unable to punctuate. You’d think someone was somewhere charging him to use periods or something, so he skimps and only uses them on very special occasions. “DON’T BE OUT HERE USING ALL MY PERIODS UP! Shit! Gon have my bill SKY HIGH using all them full stops.” O________O

Good day sir gif

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52 Comments

  1. Tameko P
    January 13, 2014 at 7:14 am

    OMG. Poor Lil’ Tink Tink. I too would like to rebuke him for horrendous grammar. All in his feelings for no reason at all.

  2. January 13, 2014 at 7:15 am

    Bury me in my good wig.

    • Renners
      January 13, 2014 at 10:03 am

      DONE! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

  3. LaChia
    January 13, 2014 at 7:28 am

    We gone use some money out the building fund to get passa a new keyboard. *passes collection plate*

    • QueenSista
      January 13, 2014 at 7:43 am

      We also will be needing a Love Offering for some “Hooked on Phonics” for passa as well.

  4. MyTruthNotYours
    January 13, 2014 at 7:29 am

    That last gif of Gene had me howling!!!!!!! Go get ’em Luvvie!!!!!

  5. QueenSista
    January 13, 2014 at 7:36 am

    “u probably get sued for difamation.” DI-FA-MA-TION? OH LAWD!!! The ignorance is SKRONG with this one. I have some extra punctuations he can have them .'”,!?()LOL

  6. Laura
    January 13, 2014 at 7:46 am

    This read gave me life! I couldn’t at the prayer had me cracking up. I need to pray over my instagram.

  7. LBoogie915
    January 13, 2014 at 7:46 am

    That dressed up version of Ms. Celie’s “till you do right by me” …priceless.

  8. Kayscrilla
    January 13, 2014 at 7:50 am

    I’m positive that the Lord rebukes him for disobeying His grammar and punctuation commandments. We gon’ say a prayer for the good Reverend to at least seek out the truth in some reading comprehension and spelling classes in the 20and14.

  9. milaxx
    January 13, 2014 at 7:55 am

    Why the old folks gone come for Luvvie this early in the new year? I hope someone sits Passa down and explains this to him real slow, with correct grammar & punctuation.

  10. January 13, 2014 at 7:57 am

    Thank you for this hilarity so early in the morning.

  11. Niki
    January 13, 2014 at 8:02 am

    Luvvie, you better be careful! I hear them “difamation” lawsuits can be a trip!! HAHA

  12. January 13, 2014 at 8:35 am

    Oh, wow. I wonder if he thinks in run-on sentences. He must be tired after every conversation.

    • January 13, 2014 at 2:46 pm

      What you did there…I see it. LOL!

  13. January 13, 2014 at 8:37 am

    LMAO!! Thanks for this!! I needed a laugh. The internet has exposed a whole slew (too many really) who can read but not comprehend.

  14. Yetunde
    January 13, 2014 at 8:54 am

    And this is what happens when people don’t go into the context and just post on sight. HUMANS! oii!!

  15. MarvyMds
    January 13, 2014 at 9:07 am

    You are better than me because I would have included his full name. This really is frivolous, and if he bothered to read your post he would see that you were talking about how ridiculous these flyers are. Geez. He needs to go back to seminary school and take a English while he is there. Trifling thought that picture is, you cannot sue anyone for defamation of character for just a photo, and I am sure that Dr. King’s family would not waste their time on it.

  16. Kamesa
    January 13, 2014 at 9:08 am

    *waving $20 in the air to place in collection basket for passa’s Hooked On Phonics and new keyboard funds*

  17. Lorraine
    January 13, 2014 at 9:22 am

    Funniest post ever!!! I saw your post the other day and was totally disgusted by the flyer and I’ve seen some other flyers even worse. I hate to blame this younger generation for all things ignorant because I truly don’t know who would dare create such things. But it’s sad that his image and legacy would be used in such a derogatory way. In reading your post it was clear you were not applauding the creator but chastising their ignorance. The poor Reverend didn’t read it.

  18. Serenity
    January 13, 2014 at 9:38 am

    I am in my 40’s and I wasn’t alive when MLK did his thing. My parents kept it real for me what Jim Crow and the civil rights era was all about. People younger than myself are even more removed from MLK and don’t feel like what they are doing here is disrespectful. Grandmothers no longer have a MLK shrine with Jesus and JFK in their front rooms…..

  19. LaSondra
    January 13, 2014 at 9:52 am

    I’m pretty sure I have been “cursed” by this same alleged minister when I told him just because I accepted your FB request doesn’t make us friends. He was going around different churches telling people we were friends, using my name as leverage to get into pulpits. He doesn’t know how to play internet at all. He’s the kid in Freeze Tag who nobody unfreezes.

    • Bukky
      January 13, 2014 at 4:18 pm

      “He’s the kid in Freeze Tag who nobody unfreezes.”

      This just made me LOL and cry real tears..PERFECT description. I’m using that in the future.

  20. Omolara
    January 13, 2014 at 9:59 am

    If he was a real Revend, he would’ve known to capitalize the ‘g’ in God. SMH…whatever seminary school he graduated from needs to snatch his transcript & degree! *puts $20 in the collection plate*

  21. Anika V.
    January 13, 2014 at 10:13 am

    FATHA! must people take themselves so seriously? Should have asked him if that “Holy man of God” was honorable when he was out there sleeping with everybody BUT Coretta. Some folks love to twist God into some mess just to make it sound good. #iCANT

  22. Kwan
    January 13, 2014 at 10:24 am

    “Everything he wishes on my page has already been done to his page, Lord!”

    Well this is where I bid you all adieu and go on up yonder.

  23. Marshuna
    January 13, 2014 at 10:56 am

    You are stoooooooopid! LMAO!!!! I ♡ you Luvvie!!!

  24. January 13, 2014 at 11:16 am

    I give folks the “Good Day, Sir!” in my head all the time! Priceless gif!

  25. TheMrs
    January 13, 2014 at 11:59 am

    LMBO!!!!!! I am HOLLERING: DON’T BE OUT HERE USING ALL MY PERIODS UP! Shit! Gon have my bill SKY HIGH using all them full stops.”
    Thanks Luvvie, I surely needed that laugh!

  26. Margaret
    January 13, 2014 at 12:31 pm

    Wait…something good may come of this.

    If the good reverenT is in the Facebook page cursing business, can you send him my way? Great-aunt Marie keeps sending me requests to help her with Facebook games and I need him to hit her page with one good ‘shammanna’ so she’ll stop with the requests.

    Let me know when you pass the collection plate so I can give an offering…if you have change for a 10.

    • Silas
      January 13, 2014 at 7:46 pm

      DEAD TO THE BED!!!

    • tc
      January 14, 2014 at 12:07 pm

      *crying at my desk*

  27. Londa
    January 13, 2014 at 1:13 pm

    Oh dear! This is some craziness. Sounds like the good reverent has been excessively partaking in that “happy yak” (cognac – the cheap kind) instead of the normal Communion Sunday Welch’s grape juice.

    I’m not putting anything into his collection plate…it’ll just contribute to his alcoholism.

  28. January 13, 2014 at 1:25 pm

    I can’t believe mister ReverenT here talking about your FB page being cursed in the name of Jesus… I mean, really? Can you curse FB pages? In the name of the lawd? Nawl, please have a stadium full of #difamation seats sir.

  29. Londa
    January 13, 2014 at 2:31 pm

    And, why am I know visualizing Steve Harvey coming out with a line of pimped out pin-striped “Difamation Suits”? With the requisite matching Fedora.

    …available at K&G and Men’s Wearhouse stores nationwide.

    I’m not well. I know.

    • Londa
      January 13, 2014 at 2:32 pm

      Sorry, meant *now visualizing” not “know visualizing”.

  30. January 13, 2014 at 2:38 pm

    Awe! Bless him little heart…not reading your status above the flyer. He totally missed that you were opposed to Dr. King’s image on the flyer. His grammar, lower/upper case letter usage…etc. I can’t with this minister, lol!

  31. Lindsay
    January 13, 2014 at 2:48 pm

    Craziness!! He needs to have several seats and learn to READ. Hooked on Phonics works for Internet trolling pastors too!!

  32. LadyCant
    January 13, 2014 at 2:52 pm

    Did Jesus have a 13th disciple named Ray-Ray that spoke broken Ebonics? Because that diatribe was a Language Art teacher porn….

    • LadyCant
      January 13, 2014 at 2:53 pm

      Just red marker splooge marks all over Rev’s sermons…

  33. veezworld
    January 13, 2014 at 3:05 pm

    Religious institutions are exempt from taxes on periods, so I don’t know what his problem is, LOL!

  34. ORH
    January 13, 2014 at 4:49 pm

    I am laughing so hard that the barista in Starbucks keeps asking me if I am okay. This was so funny.

  35. Teri Howard
    January 13, 2014 at 4:50 pm

    Rev. Raheem We-El, NOI and recent prison graduate.

  36. January 13, 2014 at 5:06 pm

    He needs Jesus to knock him off his donkey so he can stop acting like one.

  37. January 13, 2014 at 5:09 pm

    OMG…. You checked his FB page….. so this man really is a minister? I was hoping it was all a great big lie….. LAWD Jesus be an 5th period english class…..

  38. Vee
    January 13, 2014 at 7:06 pm

    *sigh*…Jesus be a spellcheck.

  39. 11thJewel
    January 13, 2014 at 7:18 pm

    Hahahahahahahahahah…..best post ever!!!!!!

  40. Choc
    January 13, 2014 at 9:56 pm

    He got more nerve than a bad tooth!

  41. Nodds
    January 13, 2014 at 10:13 pm

    Well if it was a misunderstanding on his part, what good thing are you doing by making him look a fool? They say if you argue with a fool, they’l bring you down to thier level & beat you with experience. After seeing this ‘response’ all I can say is #gofigure.

  42. mary burrell
    January 13, 2014 at 10:17 pm

    “Bury Me In My Good Wig” That just makes me have a fit of giggles.

  43. January 13, 2014 at 11:00 pm

    Luvvie is too much for me! This was HILARIOUS! Bless those who DO NOT know how to “play the internet”.

  44. cb
    January 15, 2014 at 8:02 pm

    oh that is funny!